So Far My Suffering Has Amused You 800 Freaking Times!

Hi there! Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the official blog for Mexicanos Que Apoyan a Donald Trump Para Presidente de los Estados Unidos 2016. I'm Dave-El and I've got that classic red-lipped thing that you like.

Today is an important milestone in the life of this blog: this marks the 800th post I've made since this blog was launched in March 2013. Wow! 800 blog posts! Somebody has way too much time on their hands. 

This blog does present an interesting and educational challenge to come up with an idea to write about on an almost daily basis. Sometimes people ask, "Steve, how do you come up with just amazing and clever ideas?" And I'm sure that comedy icon Steve Martin is more than willing to address such inquiries. But what the hell does that have to do with me and my blog? 

Oh, people do ask me questions. In fact here are... 

Ten Questions People Ask Me, Dave-El

1. Why are you staring at me like that?
2. Do you have change for a twenty?
3. Have you had all your shots?
4. How much is that doggy in the window?
5. What are we having for dinner?
6. Does this look infected to you?
7. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
8. What's that smell?
9. Have you ever had a foreign object lodged up your rectum before?
10. What are you, stupid?

My basic process of writing something for this blog is actually quite simple:

1. Think of an idea
2. Write it down
3. Publish it to my blog 

Of course, behind the scenes, such a process takes on more nuances and requires a more detailed analysis. 

1. Think of an idea
2. Make a tasty fruit based alcoholic cold beverage
3. Consume beverage
4. Forgot idea; think of another one.
5. That's a stupid idea, think of another one. 
6. Read other blogs, wonder how the hell they do it.
7. Make another tasty fruit based alcoholic cold beverage
8. Consume beverage
9. Think of an idea
10. Write it down
11. This isn't going to work; think of another idea.
12. Write it down.
13. Review merits of idea
1. Eh, it'll do.
2. Oh, what the hell, write some damn thing already!
3. Oh God, why did I ever start a blog anyway? *sob*
   
14. Make another tasty fruit based alcoholic cold beverage
15. Consume beverage
16. Write more stuff; any actual connection of stuff written to the idea conceived may vary and may well be nonexistent.
17. Review if there is any reason to include a photo of Tina Fey, Zooey Deschanel or Morgan Fairchild in the post.
18. F**k it, do it anyway.
19. Should I write "f**k" or "fuck"? 
20. Review post for spelling and grammatical errors. 
21. Publish the post to my blog.
22. Go back in to the post to edit for all the spelling and grammatical errors I found after I published it to the blog.
23. Once more, publish the post to my blog.
24. Once more, go back in to the post to edit for all the spelling and grammatical errors I found after I published it to the blog again.
25. Once more and yet again, publish the post to my blog.
26. Make another tasty fruit based alcoholic cold beverage.
27. Consume beverage
28. Go to bed

And that is a behind the scenes look at the nuts and bolts that goes into crafting a blog post for I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. I gave my blog this name because I've always found it to be an amusing yet sadly accurate reflection of my life. 

Still there were other titles that were in the running for this blog.

1. Oh God, What Now?
2. Another Blog From Another Asshole
3. Nude Photos Of Hot Girls 
4. Nude Photos Of Hot Guys 
5. Nude Photos Of Hot Pockets 
6. What Fresh Hell Is This?
7. Blog Thing 
8. Giant Sized Blog Thing 
9. Ponderings On The Unknown Mysteries of Life and the World Around Us
10. SHIT! 

And I think I'll bring this in for a landing. Looking back over 800 blog posts, I think this blog can't get any more stupid.

And to that I say, challenge accepted. 

Thanks for popping by and remember to be good to one another.  

Dave-El 
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You



Okay, I think that went better than I expected.
Am I kidding? This totally sucked! 
What? Hey, it was a pretty decent post, I thought. 
It was an 800th blog post! I needed to do better! 
800 is just a number. Just chill out, dude. 
Chill out? Who am I to tell me to chill out?
I think I can tell me to chill out if I want to.
But it was my 800th blog post! 
Hey, it's just a blog. Big deal! 
Big deal? What about my readers?
I have readers?
There's that guy in the Ukraine! 
You do know that's a robot program, right?
And I need to keep that robot entertained! 
I do?
As a blogger, I have a sacred trust. 
I think I've had one too many tasty fruit based alcoholic cold beverages.
No, I haven't. No. Absolutely...OK, fine! I've been drinking! 
I thought so.
But it doesn't change the facts that....wait! 
What is it?
Why am I still typing?
Hey, I'm still typing! 
Uh oh! My readers are seeing this! 
I have readers? 
Shut up! I need to back away.
Yep, back away slowly.
Nothing to see here. 
Nope, nothing at all. 
..
..
..
..
Bye! 
..
*footsteps running away*
*door opens with a squeak*
*footsteps*
*door slams shut*
..
Ah ha! They didn't suspect a thing! 
They?
My readers. 
I have readers?
Shut up! 
You know what I need?
A tasty fruit based alcoholic cold beverage? 
It's like I'm reading my own mind.