Cinema Saturday: My Dinner With Andre

Well, it's been a wild ride on Cinema Saturday for the month of April.  We started off with a nuclear submarine on a mission to stop a war... or start one.  Then we had a bear hopped up on cocaine and we had a complex crime caper to rob to Metropolitan Museum of Art.  

What thrill ride cinematic experience do we have for this week's Cinema Saturday to finish off the month of April? 

This week's movie is about two guys who sit down to have dinner to discuss the nature of theater and the meaning of life and....

Uh.... that's it. 

That's it? 

Yep! 

From 1981, it's My Dinner With Andre.  

My Dinner with Andre is directed by Louis Malle and written by and starring André Gregory and Wallace Shawn as fictionalized versions of themselves sharing a conversation at Café des Artistes in Manhattan.

Café des Artistes?  This sounds pretentious as fuck. 

Careful, you may be right.   

Through his narration, we learn that struggling playwright Wally dreads having dinner with his old friend Andre. Wally hasn't seen Andre since 1975 when Andre walked away from this career as a theater director to embark on an extended spiritual midlife crisis. And now Andre invites Wally to dinner and will probably want to talk about everything that happened to him on his "journey".

And Café des Artistes? Wally can't afford that. Hell, his girlfriend is working double shifts as a cashier at a neighborhood grocery store to help make the rent.   

Spoiler: Andre will pick up the check.  Well, that's nice of him. 

Especially after Andre tortures Wally with interminable tales of his travels to Poland, the Sahara and Scotland, his interactions with avant-garde actors and directors and some weird cult thing that involved being naked and simulating being buried alive. Andre says he needed to do all of these things to get out of the rut he was in and learn how to be human.

Wally calls bullshit on that.  What Andre did to just drop out of his responsibilities and explore the world is just not possible for most people while Wally looks for pleasure in simple ordinary things. Like a really good cup of coffee or a nice blanket. 

Andre counters that focusing too much on comfort can be dangerous and what passes for life in modern New York is more like a dream than reality. 

Then Wally counterpoints that....   Are you drifting off to sleep yet? Well, so was I but hang in there.  We're almost through this.

Then Wally counterpoints that his rational and scientific perspective cannot accept the more mystical aspects of Andre's stories.  

And then Andre says something about that and Wally replies and so forth and so on. 

The  restaurant has cleared out with Wally and Andre left as the only customers and the staff are waiting to close up the place. 

The two men part on good terms and since Andre paid for dinner, Wally has some money to spring for a cab ride home. As he passes all the familiar places he sees every damn day, Wally narrates that he feels a deeper connection to the world and when he gets home to his girlfriend, he will tell her all about his dinner with Andre.

I had heard about My Dinner With Andre for years and it's reputation as an innovative film. I was intrigued by the premise of an entire movie set around two guys having a conversation over dinner.  So when TCM ran this movie a few months ago, I saw an opportunity to see what the fuss was all about.

On one hand, I don't get it. The more Andre prattles on about his existential journey and his spiritual awakening, the more I need to forcibly pry my eyeballs open. Andre is so full of himself as he extols the epiphanies he experienced in his travels.

On the other hand, I do get it. For Andre, the creation of art is life and that is fundamentally different perspective from Wally who sees the creation of art as work. Wally represents a pragmatic view of just trying to get by and make a living at it.  

That's not to say Andre doesn't have something worthwhile to say and Wally concedes in the closing narration that his encounter with Andre has expanded how he sees the world around him. 

Still, not everyone can do what Andre did and just drop out to explore the existential questions of what is life and what is art. Wally represents the majority of us who have bills to pay. 

The "It's That Person Who Was In That Thing" Department

Wally is Wallace Shawn who was Vizzini in The Princess Bride (1987) ("Inconceivable!) and the voice of Rex in the Toy Story franchise since 1995. Most recently, Wallace Shawn has portrayed Dr. John Sturgis in Young Sheldon.    

My Dinner With Andre is not something I would recommend for everyone. It is an interesting experiment in film  but ultimately, it is little more than a movie about two guys who sit down to have dinner and talk about life and art and... you know, stuff. 

Your Friday Video Link: A NewsRadio Security Briefing

Recently my Tik Tok feed has been sending me clips from the classic 1990's NBC sitcom NewsRadio.

I don't know why. I mean, I really liked NewsRadio a lot and found it to be a very funny show. 

How did Tik Tok know that?  

There is a shadow that hangs over the show due to the murder of Phil Hartman and some (to put this politely) "shenanigans" from Andy Dick and Joe Rogan but...

We should still enjoy the laughs and joy this series brought. 

Which brings us to Your Friday Video Link which is perhaps one of the funniest scenes from the entire series. WNYX News Director Dave Nelson (Dave Foley) explains how the station's new security door works. 

Accompanied by helpful illustrations.

My DMV Adventure

First of all, sorry about yesterday's posts.

My birthday rarely yields a celebratory feeling from me but one mostly of a deeply depressed questioning of life choices.  

Well, I resolve today's post will be more positive and upbeat.  

So let's see what I am writing about today.

My recent visit to the North Carolina Dept. of Motor Vehicles?

Well...  fuck.

This year was my year to renew my driver's license.  

Which isn't so bad as the NCDMV allows for renewal of a driver's license online.

Except...

If you renewed it online last time. Every other renewal needs to be in person. 

No problem-o! The NCDMV allows for setting up appointments to avoid the line at the DMV.

Except...

When I went online to do that, the earliest appointment that was available was for July.  And my driver's license was going to expire as of April 24th.  

So the first day I had time off from work, I checked the local DMV office and say the wait time was just 34 minutes from check in. Well, that's not bad at all.  

So I left the Fortress of Ineptitude and headed straight away to the local DMV where I checked in at 1:12 PM.  

I left the DMV at 3:24 PM. 

I do believe that was more than 34 minutes.  

I spent most of the intervening time scrolling stuff on my phone, reading up on the news and various pop culture interests.  

The last half hour, I was engaged in conversation with a blonde woman who sat in the chair next to me.  

Before you get any ideas about that, she was a woman who I would estimate was in her mid to late 50's, a grandmother. 

Of course I'm a man who was on the precipice of 61 so this grandmother is in my demographic. 

And she was rather attractive, I suppose?  

We compared our old license photos. She had a really nice picture on her license and she said she hated to lose it for her new license. 

I felt the same way. My old license photo was of a younger, thinner man with dark hair and neatly trimmed goatee. 

My new photo was not going to look that good. I had a fully grey beard that I had not recently trimmed prior to coming to the DMV. My new photo was going to look like what you might see on the evening news with this warning: "If you see this man, do not approach. He is considered insane and dangerous. Call the authorities immediately."    

When my name was called, I was nervous.  I was worried I was going to get a DMV examiner who fit the stereotype you see on TV sitcoms: a terse black woman who ain't got time for your nonsense. 

I did not get that person. What I got was a a terse black man who ain't got time for your nonsense. 

My nonsense in particular was I had difficulty navigating the eye exam. I just had my eyes checked a couple of months ago and I have new glasses so I felt I should be able to see things OK. 

But the eye chart was formatted weird with sequences of numbers in different colored boxes. It should not have been difficult to understand but it took me a minute to acclimate to how the eye test worked.

And this terse black man did NOT have time for my nonsense. 

I eventually settled down and got through the eye test and apparently passed.  I say "apparently" because the DMV examiner did not say "you passed" but I saw on a computer screen my new driver's license. 

Oh my God!  My new photo is that of an insane and dangerous man about whom authorities should be contacted immediately.  

I also notice the expiration date was just two months from now. 

About that...?   

"That's for your paper copy of the license," the examiner snapped.  He did not say "dumbass" but I felt it was implied. 

The DMV doesn't make the new license on site but rather it is mailed to the driver within a few weeks after. I think I knew that but felt like a dumbass for not remembering it.  

At 3:24 PM, I was free to go. I waved good bye to my DMV friend and I left on a positive and upbeat note that I would not have to do this again for many years. 

An April 24th Birthday Post

I was born on April 24, 1963 which makes me 61 years old today.

But I am not quite frankly that interesting and I'm not exactly where I want to be in life right now so let's look at someone else who was also born on that same date and actually did something with their life. 

American singer songwriter Paula Frazer was born April 24, 1963. After growing up in Georgia and Arkansas, she moved to San Francisco in 1981. 

In 1981, I'm cautiously lurching 4 hours away from my parents' house to go to college with some vague idea that I'm going to do... something? In the field of radio or television, I guess?

Meanwhile this woman has removed herself from the backwoods of Georgia and Arkansas, traverses the god damn Continental Divide to arrive in fucking San Francisco to start a music career. 

We both started as babies on the same damn date but our progress to date in life is hardly on par with one another. 

Her music is a melancholic alternative country with an eclectic mix of folk, blues and pop, among other genres. 

She first came to notice by fronting the band Tarnation in the 1990s. 

In the 1990's, I've worked at 3 different jobs in the financial services sector by... I don't know, accident, default, dumb luck? Hell if I know. 

Paula set out to make music. Paula is making music.   

Here is a track from Paula Frazer & Tarnation, "Another Day".

Paula Frazer's music is beautiful but damn it is melancholic which really isn't helping my gloomy gus mood.

Frazer has partnered up with other music acts such as  Cornershop, Sean Lennon, Frightwig, Tindersticks, the Czars, and Handsome Boy Modeling School.  

Paula is popular and good at what she does. She gets opportunities to play with other people.  

I... am not.  Fuck me! This post is depressing!!! 

Frazer is also a professional weaver.

So she's got that going for her.   

Below is a track from Paula  Frazer & Tarnation, "August's Song".

Happy birthday, Paula. I'm glad I discovered your music. 

We both started as newborns on April 24, 1963. Paula Frazer turned her debut into this world into something beautiful and worthwhile.

And I....

Shit! I gotta bring this post in for a landing!  

Sorry to be such a bummer.   

You know what? I really need to lift my spirits. 

And what better way to do that than...

 ... a dancing taco!!!!

Tuesday TV Touchbase: Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV

Andrea and I finished up the documentary series Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV .  The 5 episode series chronicles the lives of child actors on TV shows run by producer Dan Schneider for Nickelodeon.    

The series shares tales of people who worked in front and behind the camera who were subjected to a toxic work environment created by the mercurial Dan Schneider whose treatment of women and girls on his shows was frequently inappropriate at the very least.  He would pressure women to give him massages on set or create scenarios that were sexual in nature for actors who were fundamentally still children.

The series takes a sharp turn into a disturbingly dark direction addressing instances of sexual abuse and assault against young people on Schneider's shows.  

There's the story of an adult staffer who sent an email to a young girl who had been on All That that include a picture of him masturbating with a caption that read "Thinking of you." 

But as disturbing as that was (and it was!), Drake Bell (Drake & Josh) comes out and sits down to share his tale of sexual abuse and assault by a Schneider staffer who played "Pickle Boy" on All That.  

Drake's tale is a sad and depressing one of a downward spiral as this guy insinuates himself into Drake's life, cutting him off from his father and mother and leaving him with virtually no one to turn to when the relationship towards the sexual without Drake's consent.  

Eventually this bastard gets arrested and is found guilty for engaging in sex with a minor. But his sentencing is mitigated by an outpouring of support from various actors and producers for the convicted sex offender. Apparently despite his sex offender status, this person is still working in Hollywood with access to sets where there are children.   

By the way, Drake Bell said no one from Nickelodeon ever reached out to him to see if he was OK.  Except for Dan Schneider.  

Mostly, Schneider's bad behavior was focused on women, treating them inappropriately.  And African American performers felt ostracized on the sets of Schneider's shows.      

The series returns back to the narrative of Dan Schneider's reign of terror over at his television kingdom.  It was a toxic terror dome that Nickelodeon could no longer ignore and eventually Schneider was banned from the sets of his own shows and his production deal with the network was allowed to run out and not be renewed.   

A lot of the Schneider shit I was already familiar with but it still hurts. When our child was in the target demographic, we would watch iCarly and Victorious. Yes, the humor was silly and juvenile but the part of my brain that has the sense of humor of a 12 year old kind of liked these shows.  And I feel guilty that my enjoyment of these shows makes me complicit in the terrible experiences people had working under Dan Schneider.   

Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV does make for compelling television even if the series is a bit unfocused with a whiplash effect of "This producer is an asshole" to "Oh my God! Children are being raped?" back to "Schneider's a dick".   

It's hard to watch. But Drake Bell particularly is very brave to share his story.  

Next week's Touchbase, Fallout!

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here. 

The Unpresidented Trial

Last week I wrote in this space, "So is Donald Trump finally going to be accountable for doing shit, not through an indictment but through an actual trial? 

I will believe it when I see it."  

I reckon that so far I must be believing it because so far I've been seeing it.  

Last week's Donald Trump's trial proceeded through jury selection with the week ended with 12 jurors and 6 alternates chosen for the trial with opening statements getting underway today.   

Since this trial is in Manhattan, finding 18 New Yorkers who could promise to be fair and unbiased was a monumental feat.

Average New Yorker on Donald Trump: "Yeah, fuck that guy!"

Various media outlets are virtually breathless over the unprecedented event of a former President in court as a defendant in a criminal trial.  

Maybe it's just me but I'm not feeling the weight of history so much.  

Maybe it's because I never saw Donald Trump as the President because he never comported himself as the President. 

As I wrote back on June 6, 2017,  "Donald Trump Is Not The President of the United States of America. Donald Trump Is The President of the Part of the United States of America That Voted For Him."  Trump's actions as President were so small and petty, all to appease the base that voted for him with little to no regard for anyone else who has the temerity to not vote for him.  

Unlike other men who have come into the Oval Office and managed to some degree or another to grow into the role, Trump's time in the White House just made him seem smaller, the power and responsibility of the office eluding the tiny fingers of this petulant ego driven man child.  

It's hard for me to see him as a former President in court as a defendant in a criminal trial. What I see is a petulant ego driven man child in court as a defendant in a criminal trial.

As I wrote on November 8, 2019, Li'l Donnie's focus was even more narrow that "Donald Trump Is The President of the Part of the United States of America That Voted For Him".  

As I wrote at the time, "Donald Trump is the President of Donald Trump."  His insistence on the narrow scope of his own self interests just furthered diminished him.  

I could've almost felt sorry for this son of a bitch. Li'l Donnie lucked into the most powerful position in the world and he was just too stupid to know what to with it. 

Former President in court as a defendant in a criminal trial? Nah, I'm not feeling the weight of history on this one. 

And perhaps neither is Li'l Donnie himself. Reports are during the jury selection process last week, he kept nodding off.  

This fucker is facing jail time and he can't stay awake for it?

Well, he does have other important issues on his mind.

Like Jimmy Kimmel.

Nearly 2 months after this year's Oscars broadcast, Trump is still in a tizzy of a snit over Kimmel's Trump joke from that show.

So Donald Trump thinks Jimmy Kimmel is Al Pacino?  

No wonder Donald Trump is so tired.  

Li'l Donnie was due to arrive in Wilmington NC for one of his circle jerk rallies on Saturday.  A big bad thunderstorm led Trump to cancel his appearance an hour before the rally was set to begin.  

There may be a God after all.   

Cinema Sunday: North by Northwest

Today's Cinema Sunday continues the month long spotlight on the films of Alfred Hitchcock.   

Hitchcock's films are known for iconic imagery that takes root in the pop culture consciousness even if you never seen the movies themselves. 

Images that have frequently been homaged or parodied in other movies or TV shows. 

• Jimmy Stewart's spiraling vision in Vertigo.
• Janet Leigh being stabbed in the shower in Psycho.
• The avian threat that attacks Tippi Hedren in The Birds. 

Perhaps the most iconic image from a Hitchcock film is the famous scene of Cary Grant being chased through a corn field by an airplane. 

Today we turn to the movie that scene comes from, 1959's North By Northwest.   

1958. 

New York City.

The Oak Room restaurant at the Plaza Hotel. 

Advertising executive Roger Thornhill is having lunch with some friends when he raises his hand to summon a waiter.

At that EXACT same moment...

Two thugs have asked that same waiter to page George Kaplan. So when the waiter pages George Kaplan and Roger Thornhill raises his hand to summon the waiter, the two thugs figure they've found George Kaplan. 

Yeah, I know, it's a sketchy premise to hang a movie but here we are.

The thugs kidnap Thornhill and take him out to an estate in a upscale neighborhood in the suburbs. Thornhill is incessantly interrogated by a Cold War spy for information that George Kaplan knows. Thornhill keeps telling anyone who listens that he is NOT George Kaplan.  

The bad guys think claiming to be Thornhill is a ruse and decide that if they can't get "Kaplan" to talk, they'll kill him. 

Thornhill survives but nobody, not the police or even his own mother believes he was kidnapped by spies.   

Thornhill tries to track down the real Kaplan but's a mission that goes terribly awry when it leads to a United Nations diplomat being killed and guess who's been framed for the murder! 

By the way, who is this George Kaplan who has messed up Roger Thornhill's life so badly?

George Kaplan is no one.

Literally.

U.S. government spies have created a fictional spy to draw attention away from the real spy the government has embedded among them.  

Roger Thornhill is in danger because of a fictional man. 

But the agency elects not to save Thornhill just yet. The enemy spies are focused on "Kaplan" instead of the real double agent. 

Thornhill sneaks aboard the 20th Century Limited train to Chicago where he meets Eve Kendall.  Thornhill and Kendall spark with each other and form a close bond.  

But (and you've already guess this, you clever li'l dickens you) Eve Kendall is working for the enemy spies. 

And....

Yep! She's also the double agent working for the U.S. spy agency.  

There's stuff and shenanigans as Thornhill remains determined to track down Kaplan and the enemy spies are still after Thornhill convinced he's Kaplan.

Remember: Kaplan does not exist.

One thing leads to another and Thornhill finds himself alone at a remote bus stop surrounded by corn fields, 

Thornhill has been lead to believe that he is going to meet Kaplan here.

The bad guys have been alerted this is a perfect place to kill Thornhill/Kaplan/whatever.  

They're gonna kill him from an airplane. 

So we get that iconic scene, an intense sequence with Cary Grant running around a flat nearly barren field, ducking gun fire as the plane swoops low over him.

Spoiler: Thornhill escapes.

How? I gotta keep some secrets but damn, it's a doozy of an escape. 

Second to the air play attack scene is the chase around Mount Rushmore.  Spies get killed by gun fire but at least one gets sent plummeting to their death by a ridiculously big presidential head.  

The movie ends with two characters on a train engaged in legally sanctioned hetero-normative missionary positioned intercourse. We know this because they fall into bed together and...

Alfred Hitchcock sends the train through a tunnel. 

Oh, Alfred is such a scamp.  

North By Northwest hinges on such a flimsy premise to start, a chance mistaken identity.  But the sheer random element that puts Roger Thornhill can be seen not as a bug but as a feature. Literally anyone can find themselves in the crosshairs of danger. 

A lot of this film's success hangs on Cary Grant's charisma and talent. Thornhill greets his ever evolving situation with appropriate levels of terror and humor and resolve.  

Next week's Cinema Sunday wraps up Alfred Hitchcock month with Jimmy Stewart's return work for the master of suspense.

Next week, it's The Man Who Knew Too Much.

Cinema Saturday: Ocean's Eight

Today marks the end of a Cinema Saturday series of posts that began in January.  Today is the 4th post covering the Ocean's trilogy.

The 4th part of a 3 part thing?

Explanation please?

Explanation granted. 

After the first three films directed by Steven Soderbergh and starring George Clooney as Danny Ocean were done, both Steven and George felt like they were done and did not want to do a 4th movie. 

Well, the movie studio wanted another one and that brings us to 2018 and to Ocean's 8, a continuation and a spin-off from  Soderbergh's trilogy, directed by Gary Ross and starring Sandra Bullock as Debbie Ocean, the sister of Danny Ocean, who's following in her brother's footsteps planning a sophisticated heist that will net a lot of money and just as importantly, screw over a son of a bitch who really has it coming.   

The cast is an all-star ensemble that includes Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Paulson, Awkwafina, Rihanna, and Helena Bonham Carter. 

Newly paroled con artist Debbie Ocean, Danny Ocean's younger sister, convinces former partner in crime Lou to join her in a new heist. 

Hey, if this sounds like opening of Ocean's Eleven, hey, you go with what works, you know? 

By the way, where is older brother Danny in all of this?

Danny Ocean is dead.

He's got a spot in a mausoleum with a plaque with his name on it and everything. 

Debbie does express some doubt if Danny's really in there. 

Anyway...   

Debbie plans to steal the Toussaint, a $150 million Cartier necklace, during the upcoming Met Gala in New York C, using the host, famous film star Daphne Kluger, as an unwitting accomplice.

Debbie's team gets to work, getting someone in Daphne's inner circle, getting a scan of the Toussaint, making a exact duplicate, hacking the security system, creating blind spots and more. 

Part of the plan is to manipulate Daphne to invite Claude Becker to the Met Gala.

Who is Claude Becker? He is an art dealer (of a somewhat unscrupulous nature) who betrayed Debbie and sent her to prison for an art theft he set up and left her holding the bag. 

Wait! This whole Met Gala heist is a personal vendetta? 

Lou confronts Debbie about using the heist as a revenge plan again Becker. Debbie assures Lou that her beef with Becker will not mess up the plan and she's good to go.

Hey, didn't Brad Pitt's Rusty have the same concerns about Danny using the heist for personal revenge reasons back in Ocean's Eleven?

You go with what works.  

Speaking of what works, it's the night of the Met Gala and after several days of intense planning and preparation, a complicated plan of many moving parts goes into motion. 

Zoinks! The Toussant is gone! 

Except....

As is the way with this sort of film, nothing is what it seems. 

The Toussaint wasn't the real target. 

The real big money to be gained from this heist is elsewhere. 

And yes, Debbie Ocean has manipulated events to put the blame squarely on Claude Becker. 

I know I made some snarky comments that insinuate Ocean's 8 is lifting stuff from Ocean's Eleven but damn, if it works, it works. And Ocean's 8 works just fine. 

The ensemble here works well together; it's a cast that is funny and charming, absolutely on the ball.  

Tomorrow, we have another movie where things are not always what they seem. Alfred Hitchcock month continues on Cinema Sunday with an iconic classic, North By Northwest. 

As for Cinema Saturday, how am I going to wrap up a month that is focused on a submarine spy thriller, a rampaging bear jacked up on cocaine and a twisty heist caper?

Next week, two men sit down to dinner and talk.

For the whole damn movie. 

Next week, buckle your seat belts for My Dinner With Andre.  

Your Friday Video Link: It's a Beavis & Butthead Renaissance

 

This image below has been making the rounds on social media following this past weekend's Saturday Night Live.

It's Mikey Day and Ryan Gosling as two weird dudes who look a lot like Beavis and Butthead. 

Although they personally do not get the reference.  

What brought this odd sketch into the zeitgeist this week was the reaction of one of the cast members to Mikey's appearance.

The sketch involves a new program holding a town hall on the subject of Artificial Intelligence.  Keenan Thompson plays a professor being interviewed by a journalist played by Heidi Gardner.  The professor is distracted by the strange looking men behind the journalist who is trying to keep the conversation serious and focused on the topic at hand. 

Until Gardner gets a look at Day and....

Your Friday Video Link is that sketch.   

In subsequent interviews, Heidi Gardner is not happy that she broke that way, saying she's trained herself over the years of doing comedy to not break.

But there was just something about Mikey's expression that made her lose it.

Somewhere on the internet is a photo of Mikey and Ryan's Beavis and Butthead photo shopped in the courtroom behind Donald Trump with a caption that reads "Nice to Don Jr. and Eric in court to support their father." 

I could not find it again for this post.

Here's a BONUS Your Friday Video Link.  From the movie Beavis & Butthead Do America, here's the Red Hot Chili Peppers with their cover of "Love Rollercoaster".  

Blog Bidness: Out Of Office

OK, technically I am in the office. I working at my work-work computer which is within sight of my personal laptop wherein I compose this blog.

No post today (other than this) and nothing tomorrow.

I'll be back on Friday with Your Friday Video Link and another weekend of film posts to follow. 

Until then, Dave-El of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You is out of office. 

Remember to be good to one another.   

Tuesday TV Touchbase: Invincible

All hail and praise unto Victoria Groce!  She was the champion of the Jeopardy! Invitational Tournament! Her victory also meant that the interminable "tournaments" of this season were finally over. 

On Wednesday, we were back for the first time in 10 months to regular Jeopardy with a returning champion and two new contestants. And lo, there was much rejoicing. 

Even though the game was a bit of a snooze. 

There's just no pleasing me, is there?

On to the Touchbase! 

This week I'm going to write about Invincible.

If you're thinking, "Oh just what the world needs! Another movie or TV show based on a comic book super hero!", this show is a counter argument to the phenomenon of "super hero fatigue".

The story of Mark Grayson as he grapples with the responsibilities of young adulthood and his role as super powered hero Invincible makes for compelling viewing. Trying to make something of being a college student and having a steady girlfriend (Amber) is in conflict with his role as Invincible. 

Halfway through season 2, Mark is stuck on the planet Thraxa for months. Back on Earth, that is a long time for Amber and his friend & roommate William to cover for him.  

And there's the shit that went down on Thraxa. This is where Mark's father Nolan (Omni-Man) wound up after leaving Earth in season 1. Having failed the Viltrumites in conquering Earth like he was supposed to and not subjugating Thraxa either, Nolan is in the crosshairs of an invading Viltrumite force to collect Nolan and make him pay for his crimes of NOT enslaving other races.

Messed up bunch, these Viltrumites. 

Nolan has also settled down with a Thraxian female and produced a son.

Say hello to Oliver, Mark's half-brother. 

The Viltrumites show up, blow up a bunch of Thraxa 'cause they're in the neighborhood and beat the unholy shit out of Nolan and Mark. As they drag Nolan away to meet this fate (death), they give Mark a parting instruction: 

Finish what Mark's dad was suppose to do and conquer Earth already. Or else. 

Because Oliver is not safe on Thraxa, Mark takes his baby brother home to Earth. Gee, wonder how his mom will take this development?

"Hey, Mom! Remember how you and I thought Dad was a super hero but he's really a planet conquering super villain? Well, funny thing about that. Oh, this purple baby? Yeah, Dad had sex with a purple alien insectoid and this is my step brother. Whoa! Mom, you should pour yourself a glass of wine and not drink from the whole bottle."  

Don't let the clean lines and bright colors of the animation fool you. This show can get gruesomely ugly. Just like in The Boys, we see the consequences in Invincible when super strong fists punch all too human flesh: people 'SPLODE! 

When super powered people punch super powered people, those results are not pretty either. 

One thing about the animation. The artists take time to shade around the crotch to provide some realism to suggest the folds of trousers or shorts. The effect is everyone looks like they peed themselves. Or that could just be me. I'm weird.  

Back to the story...

Despite everything, Debbie throws herself into the role of being a mom to Oliver. Thraxians age faster than humans so Oliver has quickly moved from infant to toddler.  But their unusual but idyllic life is upturned when Angstrom Levy shows up to use Mark's mom and brother as leverage for his revenge on Invincible. 

Levy has the power to warp through space and time and has seen a multiverse where on every single Earth, Mark Grayson has taken up his father's work to subjugate and terrorize the population of Earth.    

Angstrom Levy decides Invincible has to die. Even though he's the one version of Mark Grayson who is determined NOT to follow Nolan's path. 

After terrorizing and torturing Debbie, Mark finally has enough and beats the living hell out of Angstrom Levy until he is a puddle of goo. 

And now, Mark is worried he is on the path of turning into his father.

And that is not all the shit that's going down on this series.  Atom Eve, Rex Plode, the rest of the Guardians of the Globe, Cecil Stedman and his Global Defense Agency (GDA), hostile alien squids from Mars and yes, the Viltrumites are still coming.

There's a hell of a lot to explore in season 3. I hope the producers don't make us wait as long as they did for season 2.  

A lot of what makes this show work is the voice work with Steven Yeun (Mark) Sandra Oh (Debbie), J. K. Simmons (Nolan) and Walton Goggins (Cecil) delivering dramatic but natural sounding performances.   

Invincible kicks all sorts of ass. It's the comic book super hero TV show that both delivers on AND defies the expectations you might have for such a show.   

Before I wrap up this week's Touchbase, some Star Trek news:

• Even before we get to see season 3, Brave New Worlds has been renewed for a 4th season! 
• Alas, the Great Koala of the Galaxy giveth and also taketh away. The upcoming 5th season of Lower Decks will be the final season. Fun show and all but I think it may have played out it's string long enough.   

Next week's Touchbase, I will write about the documentary series Quiet On Set.

And believe it or not, I'm watching Fallout. I'll have something about that in a future Touchbase.   

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here. 

A Taxing Day

 Today is Monday, April 15th.

Which is tax day.  

I did my taxes a few weeks ago. 

I owed money to both federal and state.

I know paying taxes is a civic responsibility to help to pay for things that benefit society at large like paying teachers, fire fighters, fixing roads and bridges and so forth.

It still burns me up that I pay more in taxes than billionaires like Jeff Bezos.

Also every since the Republican party (whose mantra is always "Cut taxes! Cut taxes! Cut taxes!") has been in control of the North Carolina state legislature, I owe MORE money for state taxes. Gee (really going hard for sarcasm here), I wonder why that is?

Today is also a taxing day for Donald Trump. 

He's going to be in court for doing shit. 

Could I be more specific? 

He's going to be in court for doing fraud shit. 

Could I be more specific? 

He's going to be in court for doing fraud shit for paying off a porn star he had sex with right after wife Melania had given birth to son Barron. 

Doesn't it say something about this motherfucker that we can't just say "Donald Trump is in court" without having to narrow which legal shit he is in court for.  

I am not prepared to go into detail about this case. If you really wanna know, click here. 

I do know that someone has already spent time in jail for paying off porn star Stormy Daniels:  Trump's former lawyer and "fixer" Michael Cohen. In the Cohen case, Trump was identified as a "co-conspirator".  

So barring yet another last minute hold up, Trump's trial begins today.

Trump's been running up legal bills having his lawyers file daily briefs to delay the porn star pay off trial. Efforts to stall every other damn thing he's in legal trouble for have worked so why not here?

Nope, not here. 

So is Donald Trump finally going to be accountable for doing shit, not through an indictment but through an actual trial? 

I will believe it when I see it.  

Cinema Sunday: The Birds

Hi there! "Creatures on the Loose" continues with our Weekend Movies as Cinema Sunday brings us a classic horror film from director Alfred Hitchcock.

From 1963, it's The Birds.  

While watching this with Andrea (look, it was her idea to stick around and watch this with me!), I greeted each bird attack by calling the birds "the BOIDS!!!"

It just got funnier every time!  

Loosely based on the 1952 short story of the same name by Daphne du Maurier, the film was also inspired by a real life event that occurred August 18, 1961, a mass bird attack on the seaside town of Capitola in California.   

The film opens with the credits (of course) as they pass sans music across a montage of birds (BOIDS!) in shadow and silhouette, flapping across the screen. 

In early 1960's San Francisco, socialite Melanie Daniels and lawyer Mitch Brenner have a meet-cute in a pet store.  

Mitch is there to buy lovebirds for his sister Cathy's 11th birthday. After bantering for a bit, Mitch leaves the pet store without the lovebirds. 

Melanie buys the lovebirds then follows Mitch Brenner to Bodega Bay where his sister and his widowed mother Lydia live. 

Ain't movies great? What in real life would be called "creepy" or "being a stalker", in movies it's "romantic" or "a grand gesture". 

Melanie meets up with Bodega Bay's resident lesbian, Annie.

(OK, there is nothing explicit that Annie is a lesbian other than Suzanne Pleshette's husky voice and Annie and Melanie kind of have a vibe.) 

Melanie rents a boat in town and crosses the bay to stealthily leave the lovebirds at the Brenner farm. While returning by boat across the bay, Melanie is attacked....

By a BOID!

Now we're getting somewhere!!! 

It's a seagull, flapping it's wings furiously, clawing and pecking at the hapless Melanie in her boat, gashing her forehead.  Mitch witnesses the attack, helps Melanie to get her wound treated. 

Boy that bird attack was weird, huh? 

Mitch invites Melanie to dinner to meet his sister and mother, Lydia, who has a problem with Melanie's socialite reputation (she reads the newspapers). Lydia also has a problem....

With BOIDS!!

Her hens are all in a tizzy and on a hunger strike, refusing to eat their feed. 

Melanie spends the night with Annie (No, it's not like THAT... but it feels like it could be?) so she can stick around Bodega Bay another day for Cathy's birthday party. 

It's quite a lovely party with cake, ice cream and....

The BOIDS!!!

Yep, there's screams and terror as Cathy's nice little birthday party is attack by seagulls! 

What the hell?

That night at dinner at the Brenner farm, Melanie, Mitch, Cathy and Lydia have to contend with...

The BOIDS!!!!

A god damn flock of sparrows rush in through the chimney and ATTACK!!!!!

Melanie should get in her car and drive back to San Francisco but NO! She sticks around another day. 

Hitchcock sets up this really cool scene. Back in town near the school, Melanie is sitting on a bench with a playground behind her. The short is framed with Melanie in the foreground and just over her shoulder you can see some monkey bars. 

A bird lands. Followed by another. The another. Melanie needs to turn around and see the bird are starting to gather. 

Then Hitchcock zooms out and we see the entire playground is just covered in a ton of birds.

BOIDS!!

The school where Annie teaches is attacked....

By BADGERS!!!! 

No, dammit!  BOIDS!!!!!!

And Annie gets killed. (So she may have been a lesbian?) 

Then downtown Bodega Bay is attacked by....

Pandas!!! 

Fuck NOI!!!! BOIDS!!!!!!!!

Who cause a gas station to catch fire and explode?!?!?

Melanie joins Mitch, Cathy and Lydia as they barricade themselves into the Brenner home. The birds cannot get in now. 

Except....

Mitch missed a spot and Melanie enters a room that is jam packed with....

Balloons!!! 

Oh come on! It's BOIDS!!!!!!!!!

And they almost peck and claw poor Melanie to death before Mitch can drag her out of there. 

Tippi Hedren (making her movie debut as Melanie) spent a week shooting this scene and it was a traumatizing for the actor as it was for the character.  

Come the dawn and Melanie is desperate need of medical help. And the house is still surrounded by lots and lots of bird who are just...

Sitting there.

Menacingly. 

Slowly, step by tentative step, the foursome make their way to Mitch's car and they drive away, the assembled masses of bird just watching them as we reach...

The End! 

...

The end?

What the hell???

Wait! What was the deal with the birds? Why were the birds attacking? Why did the birds not attack at the end???

Alfred Hitchcock hears your questions and is slowly counting the fucks he gives about them.

Zero. The number of fucks he gives about answers is zero. 

In fact, that scamp Alfred did not want to include a "The End" title card at the end, just have the cast drive off, fade to black and leave the audience wondering, "Is that it?"

The studio made Hitchcock put in a "The End" title card.

What the studio did not make the director put in the film was a reason for the bird attacks. 

Screenwriter Evan Hunter had proposed some foundational ideas such as the townspeople having a guilty secret to hide with the birds an instrument of punishment. Hitchcock wanted to up the ante on the horror of the bird attacks by keeping the reasons for the attacks ambiguous. The characters are uneasy knowing the birds could attack at any moment and they don't know why AND the audience is also uneasy, not being privy to any knowledge the characters do not have.  

By the way, the film used mostly real birds. Some of the crows were ravens and the seagulls had been gathered from nearby landfills. The sparrow invasion used a combination of wild sparrows and others purchased from a pet shop. About a quarter of a million was spent on making some mechanical birds to fill out the avian cast.  

The Birds is a masterful example of suspense and horror in film with Alfred Hitchcock ratcheting up the tension with each successive bird attack. Even if you've seen the movie before, there is still a remarkable sense of tension, pondering when there will next be an attack by...

The BOIDS!!!!

Next week, Cinema Sunday's spotlight on Alfred Hitchcock continues with North By Northwest. 

Cinema Saturday: Cocaine Bear

The theme for Weekend Movies this time around is "Creatures on the Loose!"  

And for this edition of Cinema Saturday, the creature on the loose is a BEAR!

On COCAINE!!! 

Yep, it's Cocaine Bear from early last year, a mixture of horror AND comedy directed by Elizabeth Banks. 

In 1985, a plane full of cocaine is flying into Georgia. 

A whole bunch of shit goes wrong and a whole fuck ton of cocaine falls out of the plane into the Chattahoochee–Oconee National Forest. 

A black bear eats some of the cocaine with two results:

• The bear wants to kill everybody!
• And the bear wants MORE COCAINE!!

And lo, Cocaine Bear is born!!!

OK, so here's the deal. There's a bunch of people wandering around the Chattahoochee–Oconee National Forest. 

• A couple of kids who have skipped school to hang out in a national forest... you know, like kids do.
• A mom who is tracking down those kids. 
• A trio of dumb ass dudes who hang out in the forest committing random acts of vandalism and petty theft from the park tourist center. 
• A park ranger who just wants to keep a quiet and tidy national forest and bust those vandalizing punks. 
• Another park ranger who knows about nature 'n' stuff.
• A couple of thugs sent by a drug kingpin to find and bring back his missing cocaine. 
• The drug kingpin who doesn't trust the two thugs to do the job right.
• A police detective looking for the missing cocaine and ready to bust any criminals dumb enough to come after the coke and get in his way. 
• A couple of Swedish hikers. 

"Ja, det är bra att vara i Amerika och vandra i sina skogar och... Å NEJ! Varför är den där björnen täckt av vitt pulver? Björnen, den attackerar... ARRRRRRGH!!!" 

Oh yeah, and Cocaine Bear!   

How much does Cocaine Bear want cocaine? 

There's a sequence when one of the kids and the nature expert park ranger have each been chased up a pair of trees. Somehow, a cocaine brick exploded covering the ranger in white powder. 

The bear is climbing the tree with the kid when the bear stops, sniffs the air, then focuses like a laser on the hapless ranger in the other tree. 

So the bear lets the kid go, drops to the forest floor, zips over to and up the other tree and...

Alas, one dead ranger but one more taste of that sweet, sweet cocaine!

Yes, cocaine! 

A lot of people die in this movie.

Some of whom are killed by the bear.

Others are killed by gun fire or incredibly stupid accidents.  

Let's just save some time and assume everybody dies.

OK, spoiler: the mom and the two kids do not die. 

And a couple of others but let's leave you pleasantly surprised when they make it to the end still alive.  

Cocaine Bear is pretty much what you think it will be: funny, scary, gruesome, bizarre, weird and just plain fucking crazy. 

It is a great film? No. And it's not for everyone. (For the record, I watched this one on my own without Andrea. When Cocaine Bear rips out a victims of intestines like a string of sausages, I figured I made the right call.) 

Weekend Movies' "Creatures on the Loose!"  continues tomorrow with a Cinema Sunday post about an Alfred Hitchcock horror classic, The Birds.