Trapped in a world he was not designed to cope with, Dave-El (the true Kryptonian name of alleged Earth creature David Long) writes about comics, Doctor Who, Star Trek, politics, the absurdity of the human condition and whatever other nonsense that befuddles his unbalanced mind.
This is.... I'M SO GLAD MY SUFFERING AMUSES YOU!
...you know it's a me a begging off a doing a post.
So here's the deal, Sparky!
Yes, I did watch "Human Best Friend", the 3rd episode of season 4 of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds.
But if you wanna read about it, I'm gonna let Keith R.A. DeCandido do the heavy lifting on this and have you click here.
SPOILER: he didn't like it. To be honest,I'm not sure I did either.
Tomorrow is normally the weekly political post about whatever goddam thing Donald Trump did this week that pissed me off to write a blog post about it.
I'm going to turn that job over to Dave Columbo. Click on the link to his You Tube page to look for his most recent edition of "The Week In Trump".
Gee! How long is this banana break?
I'm eyeballing the Tuesday TV Touchbase as I really want to write about the return of The Librarians: The Next Chapter.
Just in case I don't, go to here for a link to a Season 2 trailer.
I have enjoyed what I've seen so far.
What pray tell is going on here with the blog?
As I write this, I'm feeling a bit tired and unfocused while dealing with some distractions here at the Fortress of Ineptitude.
So I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You is going to be in a bit of a holding pattern for a day or two or.... I'm not sure.
I am sure it'll all be fine and I'll be back to blathering about nonsense and shenanigans in short order.
Until next time, remember to be good to one another.
While visiting the Fortress of Ineptitude last week, son Dean and friend Jan introduced Andrea and I to an animated movie we had never heard of before.
So let's get a blog post out of it.
It's... Movie Time!
From 2023, the movie is Nimona, an animated science fantasy action-adventure film with a very distinctive style and vibe.
This film takes on some serious world building, creating an almalgam of medieval themes, futuristic tech and present day commercialism and pop culture.
A long,long time ago....
A legendary heroine known as Gloreth vanquished a "Great Black Monster" and enclosed the kingdom with a high wall to protect it from other such monstorious threats.
A thousand years gone, the Institute for Elite Knights continue to protect the kingdom and it's citizens.
Queen Valerin seeks to induct Ballister Boldheart into this society of knights. A decision not everyone is on board with as Ballister is the first commoner to receive this honor.
Ambrosius Goldenloin, a fellow knight and Ballister's boyfriend, is on his side but that's about it.
During a ceremony wherein Ballister is to be fully inducted as a knight, his sword shoots out a laser blast killing the Queen.
It's Ambrosius who leaps into action to disarm Ballister.
Literally.
Ambrosius cuts off Ballister's arm.
It's not enough to stop Ballister from escaping.
But even as Ballister cobbles together a mechanical arm to replace his missing limb, it's hard to stay hidden and find proof he was framed.
The entire kingdom hates him and has labeled him a villain.
Including Nimona.
Hey, that's who the movie is named after.
OK, we've gone through a lot to get to the introduction of our titular protagonist, you might forget the movie is called Nimona and why it's called that.
Well, she's here now. Who the hell is Nimona?
Nimona is a fast talking, impulsive young woman with shape shifting powers and a propensity for creating chaos.
She's decided every super villian needs a sidekick and she's gonna be one for Ballister.
Ballister's insistence he is not a villain, just misunderstood and wrongly accused does little to deter Nimona who plants herself emphatically next to Ballister's side.
Ballister didn't ask for this but he now as... well, a puppy.
As I noted earlier this week, Rosie the dog has a new canine sister, a puppy named London. London is cute and loveable. She is also just bursting with energy and that explodes in bursts of hyperkinetic impulsiveness.
Nimona is like that.
And like London's own sad origin (lost and abandoned until Dean and Jan found her), we will discover Nimona's boisterous confidence belies a somber backstory.
Ballister's not the only one in this story who is misunderstood and wrongly accused.
As Ballister and Nimona buzz through the city looking for clues and evidence to show Ballister was framed for the murder of the queen, we get glimpses into Nimona's psyche and her past.
Nimona as a young girl befriends another young girl who lives in a rustic village. The two girls become fast friends, a status undaunted by the revelation of Nimona's shape shifting powers.
Until Nimona's abilities are exposed to the villagers who recoil in fear and suspicion and urge Nimona's friend to do the same.
Nimona's friend is Gloreth who history lauds as the one who saved the kingdom from the Great Black Monster.
The Great Black Monster otherwise known as Nimona.
The director of the Institute for Elite Knights has discovered Nimona's connection to the legend of Gloreth and poisons the kingdom's citizens against her.
Ambrosius questions Ballister's loyalty to Nimona and her true motives for helping him.
Reeling with doubt and uncertainty, Ballister questions Nimona and this is more than she can stand.
Feeling betrayed by Ballister, Nimona's pain and loss consume her.
The kingdom thinks she's the Great Black Monster?
Fine! She'll give 'em the Great Black Monster!
What follows is an action packed and emotionally fraught climax as Nimona changes from a raging menace to a victim of deep despair who seeks to end her existence to the kingdom's salvation from a dangerous and deadly threat.
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Nimona went through nearly a decade of development hell.
In June 2015, 20th Century Fox Animation acquired the rights for an animated feature film adaptation of the Nimona webcomic by ND Stevenson. The film would be produced by Fox subsidiary Blue Sky Studios with an eye on a 2020 release.
In March 2019, The Walt Disney Company acquired Fox. Nimona was delayed until 2021, then to 2022.
On February 9, 2021, Disney announced it was closing down Blue Sky Studios, and Nimona was cancelled.
Former Blue Sky staff members stated the film received pushback from Disney leadership concerning the film's LGBTQ themes and a same-sex kiss.
On April 11, 2022, it was announced that Annapurna Pictures and Netflix had retrieved Nimona from the dust bin.
And the finished film made it's debut a year later in 2023.
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Nimona is very much a unique sort of film with a distintive animation style, mile a second action and rapid fire jokes, subversive satire and yes, rip your heart out sadness.
And the soundtrack rocks!
While watching the movie, I heard a song that sounded familiar.
And it hit me: OH MY GOD! THAT'S METRIC!!!!
I have documented in the past my obsessive fascination with the Canadian rock band fronted by Emily Haines and I was stoked as fuck to hear them in Nimona.
Here's Metric with the song on the Nimona soundtrack, "Gold Guns Girls"
Kudos to Dean and Jan for introducing Andrea and I to Nimona.
To be honest, it was not a movie that was anywhere on my radar and I likely would not have sought it out on my own.
But I am certainly glad I did see Nimona! It was quite an amazing adveture that I really enjoyed.
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Nimona was not the only animated movie we saw last week.
But that post will have to wait until next Saturday.
I was saddened to hear of the passing of Glen James Angus Hansard last week.
Hansaes was an Irish singer and actor who starred in the musical drama Once (2007), which earned awards including the Academy Award for Best Original Song for "Falling Slowly", with Markéta Irglová.
Below is a video of Glen and Markéta performing "Falling Slowly" which is one of my all time favorite songs.
Glen and Markéta's performance in Once was iconic enough to warrant parody on The Simpsons.
While in Ireland, Dave spent some time with Glen. He posted a video from that time and wrote this in tribute.
"I spent time with Glen on a train to Dublin. He was smart and kind and I was immediately fond of him. A new father, full of excitement about his son. We talked about U2, Irish music, and fatherhood, and it was all magical. He was new to me, but not a stranger. I often think of Glen and our train ride to Dublin."
Glen Hansard died in a motorcycle crash on July 29th.
Tributes poured in from around the world from U2's Bono, Bruce Springsteen, Lin-Manuel Miranda amd President Barack Obama and hundreds more.
It is a testatment to the man's talent and goodness that so many people have been compelled to give voice to their grief and their admiration for his life and his gifts.
A public wake was held on August 3rd in the Baroque Chapel at the Irish Museum of Modern Art in Kilmainham, Dublin, and was attended by more than 11,000 people.
Hansard's funeral was held the following day at St Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin.
Glen Hansard with a gentle, kind soul beloved by so many people and it is truly a tragedy that he is no longer with us.
"Take this sinking boat and point it home."
We no longer have time but we have memories of a good man and a wonderful talent.
It's been awhile since I've done a book report post.
The Thursday spot has been dedicated to comics.
You might argue that since the book in question is told with pictures of people talking in word balloons, it's still comics.
Since this is a new hard cover production from Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips, I will insist this is a BOOK and if you wanna call it comics, well, you can fuck right off.
Let's get into Five Gears In Reverse.
This latest installment by Brubaker & Phillips takes place in their Criminal universe of mobsters vying for supremecy in Bay City and the hapless luck deficient Lawless family who flit along the edges of the crime families who run things.
The focus falls on Ricky Lawless, son of the near legendary Teeg Lawless. Ricky has inherited his father's unfortunate knack for getting into trouble but Ricky is deficient in Teeg's luck for getting out of that trouble.
Karl calls Ricky. He wants his goddam money.
Ricky's in the hole to the bookie for 25 grand. Karl gives Ricky a tip on a job that will more than net the money he owes.
All Ricky has to do is show up at the right place at the right time and a big satchel of money will fall right into his lap.
Of course the job is too easy and after many, many questionable decisions by Ricky Lawless, the job goes down with considerable violence ending in murder.
Without Ricky getting the promised haul.
With girlfriend Mallory in tow, Ricky robs a liquor store that is a front for the Santini crime family.
Once more, the old Ricky Lawless bad luck kicks in. Ricky's score is lost, Mallory gets badly injured and Ricky winds up in the crosshairs of the big man Arno Santini himself.
In order to save Mallory and himself, Ricky takes a low effort,high risk job out of town on behalf of Santini to deal with a rival syndicate.
Well, that goes badly.
Looks like Mallory and Ricky are gonna die but Ricky pleads for one last chance to do something for Santini to spare their lives.
So it turns out there is some business Ricky can help Arno Santini take care of.
Ricky takes a high effort,even higher risk on behalf of Santini to take revenge on Sebastian Hyde, Bay City's other, bigger and badder mob boss.
All Ricky has to do is murder Chester, Hyde's top enforcer.
Chester didn't make it to the top of Sebastian Hyde's criminal network without being very good at what he does.
Ricky weighs his options and decides his best chance of keeping Mallory and himself alive.
Is to make another deal.
SPOILER: Ricky and Mallory will escape Arno Santini.
SPOILER #2: Arno Santini will not escape Chester's wrath.
And the book ends with Ricky and Mallory safe and sound despite their misadventures rife with bad decisions and lousy luck.
Except....
Karl calls Ricky. He still wants his goddam money.
Well, fuck!
With Five Gears In Reverse, Ed Brubaker writes a tight, twisted tale of Ricky Lawless in a cycle of ever escalating peril fraught with bad luck, bad decisions and bad impulses.
While the focus is mostly on Ricky, Brubaker does spend some time on Mallory's backstory, a terrible tale of torment and loss. Mallory is the best thing to ever happen to Ricky but any positive influence she has on Mr.Lawless is mitigated by her own propensity for bad luck, bad decisions and bad impulses.
Brubaker has an amazing gift for dialogue and internal narration. Brubaker's script is laced with flashes of dark humor as he paints a picture of growing danger and despair.
Artist Sean Phillips is on point with some of his best artwork, conveying the dark moods of a classic film noir. With his son Jacob providing color, Sean conveys intensity in people talking as well as explosions of graphic and brutal violence.
Over the course of various Criminal books, we've watched Ricky Lawless grow from a child to an adult, trapped in the same spiral that consumed Teeg Lawless, his father.
With Five Gears In Reverse, we witness the epitome of Ricky's evolution into truly his father's son.
Only with even worse luck than dear old dad.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
The world of Criminal will be moving from graphic novels to television with a new TV series set to debut on Amazon Prime later this year with Ed Brubaker as writer and producer.
The TV series will continue to explore the criminal underworld of Bay City and more misadventures of Ricky and Mallory.
Last week, Andrea and I received a visit here at the Fortress of Ineptitude from our granddaughter, Rosie the Dog.
If Rosie looks a bit pensive here, well, she's under a little bit of stress.
She brought her emotional support humans, son Dean and friend Jan.
She also brought her new sister.
Meet our newest granddaughter, London the Dog.
On one hand, London will sit on her hind legs and quietly look up at you with wide open eyes and a quizzicle expression as if to say:
I DARE YOU NOT TO LOVE ME!!!!
She is so friggin' adorable when she does that! What a CUTE li'l puppy she is!
On the other hand...
She is overloaded with energy, whizzing and whirling about, testing everything and everyone as potential sources of food.
London can be a lot.
London is a puppy with puppy energy and a whole range of puppy behaviors she still needs to learn to control.
And Rosie is not quite ready to deal with that.
When we first welcomed Rosie to our family, we got a slightly older, more docile creature.
Like a true member of the House of El family, Rosie is a quiet creature of habit who has gotten used to years of being the only child.
Rosie:"I am NOT dealing with this!" London: "Will you be my friend?" Rosie:"I'm not listening!" London: "Will you be my friend?" Rosie:"I did NOT agree to any of this!" London: "Will you be my friend?" Rosie:"Can I go back to the shelter?" London: "Will you be my friend?"
Dean and Janna were not planning on being emotional support humans to another dog. But when they found London abandoned by the side of the road, what else could they do?
Welcome to the family, London!
And Rosie, you're still top dog in the familial hierarchy.
Let's take a look at Stuart Fails To Save the Universe.
Let's start with the theme song composed by Danny Elfman.
The comments on You Tube dismiss the opening as A.I. slop. I think this may be just trolls engaging in "haters gonna hate" or hell, the comments may be A.I. slop. It does seem to be the go-to insult to to dismiss anything as A.I. slop whether it is or not.
God, I hate having to always be on guard if something is A.I. or not. I can't always tell even though I am a genius as certified by Cracker Barrel Inc.
Me, maybe I'm just dumb but I liked the opening and I hope it's not A.I. slop.
Anway, that's the intro from episode one. The opening changes with each episode with Elfman providing variations to the arrangement each time.
The naming convention for episode titles is "Spoiler: _____"
For episode one, it's "Spoiler: Gary Dies".
Who's Gary?
He's just this guy who.... don't get too attached because, well, he dies.
OK, he is in episode two because as Stuart correctly identifies, "You're some kind of running joke in this nightmare."
So what the hell is going on in Stuart Fails To Save the Universe?
OK, here's the deal,sparky!
Sheldon Cooper, Leonard Hofstadter and Howard Wolowitz have created a quantum entanglement doohickey that has gone wrong and fractured reality.
Comic shop owner Stuart Bloom is tasked with recovering the device and averting a resulting "multiverse Armageddon". The device sends Stuart skipping across different realities encountering variations of himself and his friends with different worlds operating under strange and distinct rules.
The core of the series features:
Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom
Lauren Lapkus as Denise No Last Name*
Brian Posehn as Bert Kibbler
John Ross Bowie as Barry Kripke
*It looks like Denise might be in for a repeat of the gimmick of Penny on Big Bang not having a last name. But the name on the door of her apartment building in episode 2 shows "Denise Jeffries". But that's just in one of multiple realities so it might not stick and become "some kind of running joke in this nightmare."
Also making cameos:
Kunal Nayyar, Kaley Cuoco, Melissa Rauch, Joshua Malina, Wil Wheaton, Christine Baranski and Riki Lindhome are among the ones we know about.
During some recent interviews, Jim Parsons made a point to say how miserable he was playing Sheldon Cooper on Big Bang Theory and has no intention of being Sheldon ever again.
Doth the man protest too much?
Nobody's heard from Johnny Galecki. As for Howard, Simon Helberg's been quiet as well but I can't see Simon saying no to this.
Stuart Fails To Save the Universe is an amalgamation of comedy and sci-fi adventure. While rooted in some obvious Big Bang Theory nostalgia, this show also far removed from BBT.
For example, instead of appearing as Beverly Hofstadter, Christine Baranski appears as "noted film, TV and theater star Christine Baranski" as the host of a training film at a rehabilitation camp. Will the rehabilitation be painful? as "noted film, TV and theater star Christine Baranski" says, "It will hurt like a motherfucker" and then she laughs.
Oh yeah, they get to cuss on this show.
As Stuart says in the pilot, "Shit's about to get weird."
What turns Stuart Fails To Save the Universe on it's head from being a mere nostalgia trip is seeing how returning actors from Big Bang are NOT exactly playing the characters we remember.
Actually, Zack is not the best example of "the same but different". Zack's still kind of dumb.
But Kaley Cuoco shows up as Penny but NOT the Penny we knew but a dark haired hard ass leader of a resistance movement against a planetary fascist A.I. regime.
While Stuart Fails To Save the Universe defies our expectations from Big Bang Theory canon, it also defies our expectations of a sci-fi adventure series.
Stuart Bloom is still pretty much the weak willed nerd comic shop owner from BBT but he's genre savvy enough to know he needs to step up to this challenge he's been thrust into. Too bad he's not a stronger, smarter person than he is and thus, as it says in the title, Stuart is destined to fail.
That seems a bit of a pessimistic premise to hang a TV series. I don't know, maybe Bert or Denise will have better luck.
Spoiler: Barry Kripke is NOT to be trusted.
As befits a series set around a comic book store owner, Stuart Fails To Save the Universe will be part of a series of variant covers from DC Comics.
Jason Badower
Serg Acuna
Sean Izaakes
By the way, there is an official Stuart Fails To Save the Universe podcast that goes live after each episode drops. It's hosted by Wil Wheaton and Felicia Day and the podcasts are longer than the episodes they're talking about.
And that is that for this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase.
Coming up on the Touchbase: The Librarians are back as the next chapter resumes with season 2.
Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.
Justice was coming for the vicious vandal David Hearn, the epitome of evil amongst Olympic canoeists.
This vile fiend dared to deface the iconic Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool and he must PAY!
District of Columbia U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro was most emphatic that David Hearn was not just guilty but absolutely, positively, 100% guilty! Defininitely and definitively GUILTY!
Evidence? You want evidence?
Pirro was firm there was evidence! You just wait! When this case goes to trial you will see ALL the evidence that the dastardly destroyer David Hearn was guilty, guilty, GUILTY!!!!!
Except...
On Friday, the Justice Department moved to dismiss the criminal case against David Hearn due to a lack of evidence that he done did the thing he was accused of having defininitely and definitively done did.
Here is some of the text from Jeanine Pirro's filing:
Pirro cited her office had received information “showing that the damage was the result of a botched installation and not vandalism as initially represented by Department of the Interior."
So that throws DOI Secretary Doug Burgum under the bus.
“The rush to complete the project led to hasty and botched work that was not remediated before the project was finished and the fencing removed."
So Donald Trump joins Burgum under the same bus.
“A recent visual inspection showed damage throughout the Reflecting Pool, even in the middle of the pool, where a vandal would not likely attempt to peel the lining. Given all of this newly discovered information, it is difficult to attribute the widespread damage to the Reflecting Pool to vandalism, let alone to establish that fact beyond a reasonable doubt."
It's getting crowded under that bus as Jeanine Pirro was VERY insistent that David Hearn, that pinnacle of perfidity amongst Olympic canoeists, was guilty, guilty, GUILTY!!!!!
“This is a case with tremendous evidence,” Pirro said when the charge against Hearn was announced.
This is not the first time Pirro has gone in HOT to achieve a full bore maximum force prosecution to appease der Führer and his delusional obsessions.
And it's not the first time Pirro's appeasement of der Führer has run afoul of that pesky bugaboo known as "facts".
I want to take issue with this part of her filing: newly discovered information. Newly discovered? This is Pirro trying to give herself some cover. There was nothing about this farce of a prosecution that wasn't clear and obvious from day one.
David Hearn did NOTHING to warrant the accusation of vandalism.
And it was clear to anyone with functioning eyes and a couple of working brain cells that what was happening to the reflecting pool was not vandalism. That the problems with the pool were the result of (in Pirro's own words) "hasty and botched work" was not newly discovered information but was fucking obvious from the first day of the first algae bloom and the first piece of paint floated to the murky surface.
Even as devoted a loyalist as Jeanine Pirro can't make a case happen without facts unless she wants to join Rudy Guliani in the Disbarred Lawyers Club.
Which should be the end of that.
But....
Of course Li'l Donnie weighed in with his goddam opinion.
“I disagree 100% with Jeanine Pirro, the U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia, on the Reflecting Pool. I don’t know what she was thinking? To me, it was a pure case of VANDALISM, that included the grass, which had a big 86 47 emblazoned in giant letters on it, and other elements of the surrounding area. There may have been some contractor difficulty, but the major damage was caused by VANDALS!”
OK, so the "86 47" on the grass was a seperate issue from the reflecting pool and David Hearn, that zenith of sinfulness amongst Olympic canoeists, was only charged with vandalizing the pool. But who knows why evil men do what they do? Does Trump think that Hearn hacked and slashed the bottom of the pool and then peed on the grass to create an 86 47?
Only Donald Trump dares to conceive of the dastardly depths of David Hearn's depravity.
While Jeannine Pirro's inclination for supplication to her beloved der Führer ran up against the implacable wall of facts, Interior Secretary Doug Burgum persisted in his syncophancy toward's his dear leader's delusional directive of vandalism.
"Some of these acts were even caught on camera. We also provided the U.S. Attorney's office expert and eyewitness testimony to the damage done by vandals and provided every piece of evidence they asked for in the requested time line detailing each area of damage at the pool.
@POTUS cares deeply about protecting our sacred national monuments and his leadership has led the restoration of our Nation's Capital by Making D.C. Safe and Beautiful Again.
Intentional damage done to the Reflecting Pool is no different than defacing any one of our other national monuments.
We won't back down to deranged people who want to destroy, deface, or degrade our monuments."
For the record, these "acts... caught on camera" were blurry CCTV images of people reaching into the pool to retrieve pieces of the floating paint sealant. There is NO video footage of anyone hacking and slashing at the pool's base.
Despite Trump's insistence that someone made a gashes in the paint, ranging from 200 to 350 feet long.
When the pool was drained to fix the damn thing, guess what could not be seen? That's right! Any evidence of this alleged vandalism.
What we have seen from this debacle of the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool is a near perfect distillation of Donad Trump's greed, ego, incompetence and his delusional obsessions.
In a world that is on fire from a war Trump started with no clear path to success or completion, the issues with the pool seem petty and insignicant.
But in a nation where citizens are struggling to afford food, gas and healthcare, Trump decided this vanity project was a priority.
The pool project made Li'l Donnie look bad and that is what makes him mad. Your suffering, he does not give one goddam fuck about.
For more on the reflecting pool debacle, click here.
!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%
For a comprehensive look at all the fuckery Donald Trump was up to last week, here's Dave Columbo with "The Week In Trump".
