Your FRiday Video Link: Kathleen Madigan

 

One my of favorite female stand up comics is Kathleen Madigan. Today's edition of Your Friday Video Link has some short clips of Kathleen at work.  

First up is a clip of Katheleen pondering "Mom's Mystery Pills".    

Kathleen contemplates the difference between Drunk Friend and Pothead Friends.  

Here's a crucial question for rural Missouri:  "Should people who can't read be allowed to hunt?"

Kathleen has an answer for that. 

That is that for this week's Your Friday Video Link.

Tomorrow's Movie Time is about a legal drama for the ages, an epic battle of the little guy going up against corporate greed and corruption. 

And we have more Star Trekking the day after that.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another. 

And be careful of the pills you take, even if they come from your mother.  

Green Lantern Alias John Stewart

While the Lanterns TV series is introducing us to their version of how John Stewart becomes Green Lantern, I thought I would do a post on John's comic book journey to wearing the power ring.

Here is the Neal Adams cover to Green Lantern#87 (on sale October 1971) where we meet John Stewart for the first time.

John Stewart is a college graduate, a trained architect who is unemployed because life sucks for black men in 1970's America.

In a story written by Denny O'Neil and drawn by Neal Adams & Dick Giordano, Hal Jordan is tasked with recruiting and training John Stewart as his back up. The Guardians of the Universe have selected John to be that person.

And Hal has problems with that.

Stewart is headstrong, anti-authority, and race-conscious, which Jordan's perspective sees Stewart has having a bad attitude,  disrespectful and angry.

The Guardian tells Hal, "He has all due qualifications! And we are not interested in your petty bigotries!"

There may be some inherent racism in Hal Jordan's assessment of Stewart but since Hal has spent the last year on the road with Green Arrow, I figure Hal knows about "attitude".

Hal Jordan and John Stewart go into action to stop an act of political assassination against a Presidential candidate who is racist as fuck.  

Jordan is unhappy that Stewart appears to have shirked his responsibility to protect the candidate due to his dislike for the person. Until Stewart reveals that the assassination they stopped was staged by the candidate and there was a real killer in the crowd ready to strike.  

Hal Jordan concedes that John Stewart will make an excellent Green Lantern.

So no, the story of Hal and John from GL#87 does NOT play out with the same crackling animosity Hal has for John in the Lanterns TV show.  

It's in the pages of Justice League of America#110 (on sale December 1973) by Len Wein, Dick Dillin and Dick Giordano that John gets his next go 'round as Green Lantern.  

Hal Jordan slips on a bar of soap in the shower and conks his noggin.

Sasha over on Casually Comics chats a bit about Hal Jordan being a klutz.  

The rings summons back up John Stewart to answer a summons by the JLA.  

When Stewart shows up at the JLA satellite HQ, there is some consternation of who the hell this guy is but Green Arrow says Hal told him about this new GL and we're all copacetic.

Long time JLA enemy the Key is up to some shit and John Stewart is more than capable of keeping pace with the League as they take on their nefarious for.

Stewart finds a loophole in the Green Lantern manual that allows him to rebuild housing for some poor people who lost their homes.  

Unless I'm missing an appearance elsewhere,  John Stewart next rings up as Green Lantern in Green Lantern#94 (on sale Janiuary 1977) by Denny O'Neil, Mike Grell, Terry Austin and Dick Giordano. 

Six years after his debut, John Stewart is making only his 3rd appearance.  

Hal Jordan has come down with some kind of space sickness so John Stewart takes him into space to see if the Guardians on Oa can fix him up.  

I assume that somewhere off panel, John's been practicing if he can just zip off into interstellar space and navigate his way to Oa.  I noticed he also has the updated power ring introduced in Green Lantern#90.  Did John go to Oa to get the upgrade or did the Guardians mail it to him? 

After a few more random appearances in the early 1980's, John Stewart would finally get his first real continuing shot at being Green Lantern in 1984. 

Len Wein who wrote John's 2nd appearance in 1973 in JLA#110 would take over as the regular writer of Green Lantern and cooked up a storyline where Hal Jordan gets pissy with the Guardians and decides to quit being Green Lantern.

The Guardians were all "Fine! Go do dat!" 

Hal Jordan was all "Nah! I was just mad for a moment..."

The Guardians are all "You Earth creatures are way too much trouble. Someone get John Stewart in the phone!"

A special promotional image by artist Dave Gibbons gave notice of some big changes coming to Green Lantern.

Apparently forgetting John "is a black man who let's it all hang out"?  He's wearing the mask.  

And those changes kicked in with Green Lantern#183 (on sale September 1984) by Len Wein and Dave Gibbons.   

After 13 years since his first appearance, this begins a long run with John Stewart as the Green Lantern of Earth and Sector 2814.  

Until as always the case in comics, some writer or editor decided on a "Let's get back to basics" approach and Hal got his ring back.  

But John Stewart as Green Lantern remains a fairly consistent presence in the DC universe.

In the Justice League animated series, the producers opted to use the John Stewart version of Green Lantern to add some diversity to the line up. It is arguable that because of the television exposure, more people know John Stewart as Green Lantern than they do Hal Jordan.  

SIDE NOTE:  Swapping out the white guy with the black guy has already been done a year or so before over at Marvel.   

Denny O'Neil (who co-created John Stewart) was writing Iron-Man and had Tony Stark relapse into alcoholism and turn over the Iron Man armor to Jim Rhodes (Rhodey).

Rhodey stayed on as Iron Man for a long time until some writer or editor decided on a "Let's get back to basics" approach so Tony got sober and got his amor back.  

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NEXT WEEK: What comic books did a young Dave-El buy in September 1976? Comic Book Retro 50 will address that burning question next week.   

The Darkest Timeline

I wanna talk about the darkest timeline.

Twice! 

To set the stage, let's cover some ground about the darkest timeline that originated on the TV series Community.

In the 3rd season episode "Remedial Chaos Theory", Troy and Abed have invited the study group gang to their new apartment for a housewarming party.  

The group gathers to play Yahtzee when the pizza delivery arrives.  

Jeff suggests rolling a 6 sided die to determine who will go to the door to get the pizza.

Abed cautions that each roll of the die creates an alternate timeline.  

The episode unfolds as each roll of the die arrives at a different number and a different person goes to the door and each time, different stuff happens in the few moments that person is away. Various things go askew depending on who is still in the room.

Of these scenarios, "the darkest timeline" arrives when Jeff roles a "1" and Troy has to go to the door.

In the brief moment Troy is gone, the gun in Annie's purse has gone off and shot Pierce in the leg and Britta dropped the joint she was "secretly" smoking, setting the apartment on fire.

The episode ends with a tag scene set in what Abed calls "the darkest timeline"

• Pierce died from his gun shot wound.  
• Shirley is alcoholic.
• Annie is confined to a psychiatric hospital
• Jeff lost an arm in the fire
• Troy has no larynx after trying to eat the troll doll Pierce gave him.  
• Britta puts a blue streak in her hair

Abed made the group goatees out of felt as indicators of their evil nature (like Spock in the Star Trek episode "Mirror Mirror").  

So that's one "darkest timeline", the fictional one from a TV show.

Then there's the other "darkest timeline", the real one.  The one we're living in.   

Every time I see a story posted on Tik Tok, Twitter, Facebook, etc about some damn thing done by Donald Trump or one of his simpering snivelling syncophants that gives more power to the powerful, more wealth to the wealthy or take away something that actually helps people, I will inevitably see this comment:

"This is definitely the darkest timeline."

Every single day I hear something that seems to me the worst possible outcome.  

• A.I. is coming to take all our water and electricity and then kill us all.
• This weekend, my news feeds were blowing up with stories about A.I. run amuck, doing shit we didn't tell it to do.
• Reps from Google and Anthropic are all "My God! What have we done?" If the people who created A.I. are worried, I'm thinking there may be something to worry about. 
• Nah, there's nothing to worry about! Speaker of the House Mike Johnson doesn't think Congress needs to do anything about A.I. and that the tech companies know best about how to handle things.
• Communities are super stressed out by the demands for water and electricity caused by A.I. data centers.  The tech bros building these centers are carving out sweetheart deals to avoid paying taxes, contributing nothing to the local infrastructure. They only take and take and give nothing back.
• Donald Trump of course thinks A.I. data centers are the wave of the future and any community that doesn't want a data center wants to be poor and stupid.
• Women's rights are being curtailed. 
• In some states, draconian anti-abortion laws are so broadly written, women are being charged with murder if they have a miscarriage.
• There are states where if a woman gets pregant due to being raped and she decides to get an abortion, she can go to prison longer than the man who raped her.
• There's a petition on change.org to repeal the 19th amendment (that gave women the right to vote).
• The Department of Labor recently ruled that a female sailor being raped on a ship was not a "crime" but a "workplace injury".   
• Good news: the murder rate is down. Except for women being murdered in domestic violence events.   
• A war widow was denied benefits for her dead husband because whatever he died in, Congress never declared it a war.  
• I could go on but let's just sum up: it sucks to be a woman in Trump's America! 
• ICE is scooping up people for looking like they MIGHT be illegal.
• Remember the premise that ICE was focusing only on the worst of the worst, the illegal immigrants commiting crimes?  Yeah, I never believed that either.
• And the net has widened with actual citizens being scooped up for the temerity of looking like they might be illegal.  In other words, brown skin.
• That includes arresting a woman who was a Native American. OK, I'll bite: where the fuck are they going to deport a Native American?
• ICE wants electric shock gloves. (They looked cool in the Land's End catalog?) 
• ICE is buying robot dogs. (Because real dogs will not put up with these fuckers.) 
• There are threats to send ICE to the polls this November.
• The war Trump started with Iran continues to be a mess.
• People who know better tried to tell him that the idea that Iran was on the verge on having a nuclear weapon any minute now was bullshit. They had facts, figures, graphs!
• Trump said his gut told him different and here we are 6+ months later in a quagmire of chaos that shows no signs of ending.  
• It is no surprise that the war with no definable plan for ending had no definable reason for even fucking starting other than Trump felt like it.
• These fuckers cannot even agree if it's a war. When Li'l Donnie and Prickly Pete want to get all macho and tough, it's WAR! When they want to downplay that what's happening is not that big of a deal, it's a conflict or some other bullshit. (See above for how widows are being fucked over by this gamesmanship over wording.)  
• The price of food, gas and damn it, EVERYTHING keeps going up.
• Trump will tell anyone who will listen than prices are DOWN.
• He also insists his poll numbers are UP and any polls that say otherwise are fake.
• How can his poll numbers possibly be down when Natalie Harp keeps showing him print outs from the internet on what a fantastic job he's doing?

Last week, the Republican Party staged a Mid-Term Convention, what they described as a "Trumpapalooza" to celebrate their lord and savior and praise him for all the good things he's done for our country.

And if the party didn't praise him enough, Li'l Donnie spent two nights taking up the slack, extolling just how GREAT everything is, how prices are DOWN, not up, that America is strong and respected and blah blah blah.

Funny, my grocery bill is certainly not the fuck going down.

I look at the clown car antics of those in charge of our government and I do NOT feel strong or respected.

Do I need to go on? 

It feels like the darkest timeline to me.  

Let me use TV to offer some context.  

In last week's season finale of The Librarians: The Next Chapter (see yesterday's Tuesday TV Touchbase), Merlin seeks to go back in time and through the use of raw, unchecked power make Camelot great again and prevent it's fall. 

By the time Merlin is done, a lot of people are dead and Camelot is shattered into ruins.  He causes the very downfall he professed to want to stop.  

I feel like that's where Trump and those in the MAGA movement are heading, employing raw, unchecked power to force America back to whatever they perceive as greatness and to force the rest of the world to acquiesce to that vision.

Every step these miscreants take is one step closer to a deeper and lasting misery and closer to the American dream being shattered into ruins.  

Honest to God, every day in this reality brings me to the conclusion that yes, "This is definitely the darkest timeline."

But here is a scary thought: as dark as things feel now, what if they can become even darker still?

"This is definitely the darkest timeline?" 

Fuck me but I don't think Trump and the minions in his government and his compliant corporate stooges have actually reached the bottom yet.

OK, this is a bummer of a note to end on.

I need a puppy! 

Fine, that helps a little bit. 

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Tomorrow on the blog: comic books! 

This (Non) Sporting Life: More Banana Ball!

Andrea and I watched another Banana Ball game when the Savannah Bananas took on the Party Animals at Historic Grayson Stadium.

We hadn't had a chance to sit down and watch a Banana Ball game since June (which I posted about here.) 

I had some high expectations to see the 'Nanners go up against the Party Animals, the self described "gayest team in baseball".

We're in the post season as the teams of the Banana Ball Champions League (BBCL) jockey who will be in the epic Banana Bowl in Washington DC on October 24th.

The game did not start on time due to a lightning delay as a torrential thunderstorm tore through Savannah at game time. 

 While the lightning danger passed, the rain continue to pour. BUT the game and the show must go on! 

The Bananas and the Party Animals took to the field in the rain which did not let up until about halfway through the game. 

Because the game was on September 11th, the Bananas did take time to recognize the solemn occasion.  

Savannah Bananas Commemorate 9/11 With Solemn ‘Macarena’ Performance

Gotcha! That was a headline from The Onion.

But seriously, there was a somber moment of silence in remembrance of 9/11. 

One of the appeals of Banana Ball is the theatrical element, that it's as much show time as it is game time. The game from Friday did not give a show as awesome as the one I posted about here when Kristen Bell joined in for an epic musical performance.  

What we got this time was a time to dance, dance, dance! 

Bananas star infielder Jackson Olson is competing on the 35th season of Dancing with the Stars, partnered with professional dancer Emma Slater.  Olson and Slater performed a dance routine for the crowd at Grayson Stadium with a little help from the rest of the 'Nanners. 

I'm impressed that Emma Slater did so well on a wet baseball field in high heels. 

A couple of players were fitted with wireless mikes and headsets to conduct interviews with the game announcers while the players were actively engaged in game play in the outfield. "Yeah, one of the keys to our success this year was a focus on the fundamentals and...Ooops! Gotta catch that ball!" 

There were back flips and trick plays.  One player figured out how to catch a ball in the crook of his elbow.  

There were capes. One of the Bananas had a Superman-eque red cape while one of the Party Animals had an epic black Batman cape. Capes are cool! 

Four moms ran the bases with their arms in legs inside the edges of fitted sheets. Bonus points if they could figure out how to fold them afterwards. 

There was also a bit called "Smashing Pumpkins" where four fans wearing inflated pumpkin costumes and carrying large blue balls smash into each other. 

The Bananas "Stilt Man" made an appearance. He got a base hit but was tagged out before he could make it to first.  

As for the game itself, the golden garbed 'Nanners and their pink and black opponents the Party Animals kept the game tight but the Savannah Bananas held on for the win.  

Andrea said she was entertained but quite frankly, I found this to be no more interesting than regular baseball.

I had hoped for an elevated level of theatrical woo-woo from the Party Animals.  

But what do I know? I am guy who does not know or care much about sports which is why this is my (non) sporting life. 

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Tomorrow on the blog: Are we living in the darkest timeline? 

Tuesday TV Touchbase: The Librarians: The Next Chapter

 In last week's Tuesday TV Touchbase, I wrote this about this season finale of Jeopardy Masters  

Tonight the contest is down to  Victoria Groce, Yogesh Raut and Andrew He.

Everyone think good thoughts: Yogesh must not win. Yogesh must not win. Yogesh must not win. 

<Sigh!>

YOU HAD ONE JOB!  

ONE! JOB! 

So yeah, Yogesh Raut won the damn thing.

To paraphrase Darth Vader: I find your lack of good thoughts disturbing.

OK, let's get on with this week's post.

Bring up the Tuesday TV Touchbase graphic! 

Last week, The LIbrarians: The Next Chapter brought it's 2nd season in for a landing. 

It was a white knuckle, super stressed season finale.

Even if it was all a dream.

Twice! 

The mystic artifact at the center of the last two episodes of season 2 was called Reverie's Torque, a golden doohickey that has power over dreams.  

In episode 11, our Belgrade crew of Librarians have arrived in a German village where everyone has fallen asleep and a demon named Alu is looking to recover the artifact to use dreams to breach his prison and enter our reality. 

Merlin summons the team to help save Mrs. Astolat who is caught in Alu's spell.

Everything that can go wrong is going wrong as the team has to face their fears and traumas explored earlier in the season.

Charlie is faced with a choice of which Librarian she will need to let die to save the rest.

Lyssa is confronted with a child losing her parents and Connor has to deal with his reputation reduced to a mockery.

Vikram saves the team by entering their individual nightmares to guide them to safety.  But in each person's psyche, Vikram appears differently:   

Charlie sees Vikram as a drunken fop.

To Connor, Vikram looks as he usually does but he's acting like a syncophantic sidekick. And Vikram is a foot shorter.

To his great, great, great granddaughter Lysa, Vikram appears very, very old.  

He even has hard candy!

Resistant to using magic,  Vikram is compelled to use Reverie's Torque to drive back Alu and save the town and his team from the dream demon. 

Merlin usurps Reverie's Torque for his own purpose, using it to propel himself back in time to days of Camelot and make sure Camelot does not fall this time. The Librarians follow.

Which brings us to episode 12. 

Merlin stops a young Arthur from drawing the sword from the stone and seizes the blade himself, declaring himself King.

Corrupted by the power of the crown and by his growing magical abilities, Merlin proceeds to make life at Camelot worse. 

Merlin summons a fire breathing dragon and also instigates the death of the Librarians.

One by one, Connor then Charlie and then Lysa all die. 

Merlin kills the immortal Mrs. Astolate by killing her young pre-immortal self who was at Camelot.

Vikram has one last desperate chance to stop Merlin and even reverse all the deaths that have occurered. Until Merlin kills him.

And then he unleashes his full magical power in a paroxysm of fire and fury that destroys Camelot. 

Which is not what Merlin wanted. 

So all the Librarians are dead and Merlin, totally corrupted by magic, has done the very thing he did not want to do.

How are we gonna fix this mess?

It bears remembering that Reverie's Torque is a golden doohickey that has power over dreams. 

It is NOT a golden doohickey that has power over time travel.

Having hit rock bottom in his addiction to magic, Merlin wakes up in the Library's Belgrade Annex surrounded by the still very much alive Librarians. 

So yeah, we're going with the old "it was all a dream" ending.

As we discussed in this Star Trek: Strange New Worlds post, the "it was all a dream" resolution can be such an overused cliche. 

But in the case of the The Librarians: TNC finale, the writers do play fair with us. It is made very plain right up front in part 1 (episode 11), Reverie's Torque is a golden doohickey that has power over dreams. 

It is only Merlin's desperate desire to recover his magical power and his fervent need to undo the fall of Camelot that even suggests that Reverie's Torque can do any more than that. 

Last year, in my post about season 1 of  The LIbrarians: The Next Chapter, I wrote:   

I've enjoyed The Librarians: The Next Chapter well enough and I'm glad there is this opportunity to explore the world we met in the original series. But I cannot quite shake the feeling that TL:TNC is a pale, less expensive knock off of what came before. 

The team still feels like cyphers that elude significant engagement with the viewer.  

Having rewatched season 1 in advance of season 2, I kinda feel that assessment may have been kind of true but also unnecessarily harsh. In retrospect, the new team was a lot stronger than I was giving them credit for.  

But whatever misgivings I may have had about TL:TNC in season 1, season 2 more than made up for it. The show looked better with better lighting and better sets. And the characters more than came into their own. 

Highlights of the 2nd season:

The physical comedy between Vikram and Jacob Stone in "And the Tethered Wish". The genie was a wild and wacky antagonist.

Ty Tennant's guest turn as a malevolent Peter Pan in "And the Vanishing Bankers" was amazing and we got a strong spollight for Jessica Green's Charlie. And Lysa introduces us to the term "magical woo-woo".

The chaotic body swaps in "And Descartes' Nightmare" where our intrepid cast has to play each other rather their regular characters. 

• There's a bit where Connor is in Lysa's body and like any man in a woman's body starts to check out his new breasts.  (It's what I would do in that situation!) Lysa in Vikram's body tells him to cut that out. There are more swaps as at any given time, any Librarian can be in the body of another. 
• Shout out to Dominic Monaghan who is really on point when Lysa winds up in Merlin's body.  
• On a serious note, the teammates who wind up in Charlie's body realize that the physical demands as the team's Guardian means that Charlie is always in a lot of pain and she's never said anything.  

Props to Olivia Morris who has to play the heartbreaking scene where Lysa says goodbye to her dead parents in "And the Monkey's Paw" and gets to play her 1857 ancestor Anya in "And the Heart of a Librarian".  Anya turns out be all sorts of awesome as she deals with a cursed artifact. I wanna see more of Anya's adventures! 

O.G. Librarians Cassandra and Jacob take the spotlight in episode 9 in "And the Toy Phone". Oh it was so good to see Lindy Booth back as Cassie, still kicking butt and taking names with super math. And the episode is another excellent vehicle for Jessica Green's Charlie in a starring role.  

Right now, the Librarians fandom is in an anxiety fueled frenzy over the fate of The LIbrarians: The Next Chapter. At the end of season 1, we knew season 2 was coming. So far as I write this, we have no word from TNT on season 3.  

I would ask you all to think good thoughts but I saw how well that didn't work with Jeopardy Masters and Yogesh Raut 😠 so I don't wanna jinx our chances. 

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Side quest to the Emmys!

Jean Smart won her fifth consecutive Emmy for her role as Deborah Vance on Hacks. Jean Smart is a goddess and you all must worship her! 

In a big ol' "Fuck you!" to CBS and Paramount, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert won for best talk show.  In the tradition of David Letterman after he left The Late Show, Colbert has grown a beard.  By the way, Stephen will be on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight.

Sally Field won Best Actress in a TV movie for Remarkably Bright Creatures which Andrea and I watched back in May and we enjoyed a lot.  Sally took time to pay sincere tribute to Dolly Parton. Sally and Dolly were in Steel Magnolias together.  

Emmy host Mariska Hargitay was in a Law & Order: SVU sketch that guest starred Taylor Swift which I rather enjoyed. 

Widow’s Bay, an alleged comedy series I have not seen or heard of before tonight, won a crap ton of Emmys. They edged out my beloved Hacks for best comedy series so Widow's Bay can go fuck itself.  

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That is that for this week's Touchbase.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.

 

Later today on the blog: This (Non) Sporting Life with the Savannah Bananas! 

Blog Post # 5000

Greetings, Earth Creatures!

This is I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You! 

I am Dave-El! 

Look upon my works, ye mighty and despair! 

illustration by Dean Long, lettering by me! 

Yea, I say unto thee the time has cometh to pass!

Today is the day of the blog's 5000th post!!!

I have suffered to give you 5000 blog posts!!! 

Has my suffering not amused you?!?! 

Damn it! Was AI used to create that graphic?  

Let me check in with the I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You editorial department. 

Why do I even have an editorial staff? Have you seen ALL the typos in this blog?

OK, fine! I will cop to it! I used ChatGPT to create this graphic.

I know, I know! I shouldn't be giving in to the AI takeover of our planet and our souls. 

Look, I was doing this course at work ("AI: It's Not Just For E-Mails Anymore!") and decided to have some "fun" with it.  

I know I burned off the water supply of a nearby small town to make that image. Sorry 'bout that. But I had "fun" with the AI and that's the important thing.  

I gotta admit I'm kinda vamping here.  Yeah, I've realized for several weeks that blog post #5000 was coming but I was at a loss on now to commemorate this momentous occasion.

I turned to the writing staff.

"Wait! This is due NOW?!?!"

Sometimes, I feel like....

There is no writing staff....

No editorial.

It's just... me in here.

OK, there was on thing for sure I wanted to bring back for this milestone blog post, the return of the man, the myth, the legend, Dwayne DeFontaine!

It's time for a  word from our sponsor, Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium!

Howdy, folks! I'm Dwayne DeFontaine and this is the Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium! 

Do you need a van?

Does your van need to be plain? 

White? Unmarked? 

Then we're going to make you a deal here at 

Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium!!!

 

Are you an overweight high school dropout with a 5th grade reading level who has been charged by a paramilitary organization to remove people from their homes if they don’t look like you?

 

Well, while I don’t quite cotton to people being in America illegally, I still think your gang is a bunch of dumb, ugly bullies and I did not care for bullies one damn bit! Especially if you're dumb and ugly! I'd wear a mask too if I was ugly as you!

 

But… you’re still gonna need a van!

 

C’mon down to Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium for the plain white unmarked van of your choice for your cruel and unethical operations against brown folks!

Hey, you illegal immigrants, just trying to make a living painting, landscaping, putting up drywall? You might be here without the legal government sanction you need but you know what else you need?

Hell Yeah! You still gonna need a van!

 

While we are here to make you a deal, we do NOT accept any of Donald Trump’s bitcoin!  Or Mexican pesos!

At Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium, we WANT cash! Preferably in unmarked bills because... SHUT UP! We have good reasons that are none of your business

You need a van! 

WE GOT VANS! 

So give us money and get the hell off our lot! 

 

So this is Dwayne DeFontaine inviting you to come on down to Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium, off the service road 3 miles east of the Business I-97/Old Mill Road interchange, right across from the country's only year round Spirit Halloween!

Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium is opened until 9 PM Monday thru Saturday! We're not open Sunday because, dammit, you really need to be in church! But the rest of the week, for whatever morally, legally or ethically questionable thing you need to do, you're gonna need a van!

Good ol' Dwayne! Man, I've missed that ornery old curmudgeon.

Can't say I pegged him for being anti-ICE but really does it matter? If you need a van, he has a van! 

Out of all the blog posts I've written about television, movies, comic books, politics and whatever random shit that pop is my head. my blog post from July 29, 2018, Kimberly Guilfoyle: Fall of a LEGend continues to appear in the top ten of the most viewed blog posts.

Speaking of women who were fired by Fox News, you might wonder why didn't do a post about Maria Bartiromo.  

She was just not as LEGendary.

Let's take a moment to check in with Edith, our Director of Ethics and Standards.

Good job keeping us on our toes around this blog, Edith, you saucy minx! 

Let me take a moment to speak to my all my fans who keep me energized and ready to post every single day.

#kansas 

Sometimes I forget.

It's just me in here.

Anyway....

I feel I should acknowledge someone who has unfortunately become a frequent fixture on this blog.

You know him, you hate him, we wish we could live without him!

It's America's own lying, petulant, bullying, unintelligent, sociopathic, dishonorable, treasonous, gutless, moronic, heartless, soulless, slimy, loathsome, vile, incompetent, psychotic, crooked, disgusting, reprehensible, revolting, horrible, malicious, obnoxious, hateful, narcissistic, small-minded, despicable god damn, motherfucking piece of shit.....  der Führer!

Back in 2013, when I first launched this blog, I thought that I might occasionally dabble in the random political thought once in awhile.  But not that often since I did not consider myself a particularly nuanced or sophisticated political pundit.

But who needs nuance or sophistication when dealing with a political person of such blindingly obvious levels of STUPID! 

I look like a fucking genius compared to this guy! 

Who I am not calling by name in this post because it's BLOG POST 5000 and we're here to have a good time! 

And what better way to have a good time that avoiding Donald Tr-GODDAMMIT!!! 

OK, where were we? Oh yeah! We're celebrating 5000 blog posts!

FUCK! It's that AI image!  How could I allowed myself to be corrupted to let AI generated stuff into this blog? 

Goddam fucking AI shit! 

OK, Dave-El!  Deep breath! 

Oh, right! 5000 blog posts.

I've seen my stats and I know that virtually nobody reads this thing.  And that's OK.

I am actually quite surprised, alarmed even, when I have evidence that someone actually saw this blog.  

Mostly, this blog is my diary that is open to anyone to read.  

It's may not be much but it's mine.

So I will continue to do this damn thing because (and this is so sad), it's a purpose I have in life.

And I am so glad my suffering amuses you! 

Dedicated to my son Dean!