Movie Time: Peppermint

 It’s….Movie Time! 

Since tomorrow is Mother’s Day, today’s movie post is about a movie I happened to catch on television several months ago about a mom on a mission. 

 

Is it a movie about the warm kindness and caring gentleness that only a mother can give? ❤❤❤

 

No, this is a mama going batshit violent on a quest for vengeance against those who killed her family! 💢💢💢

 

From 2018, it’s Peppermint and it stars that woman from the Capital One credit card commercials, Jennifer Garner.

 Riley North is a vigilante on a mission of revenge.  She didn’t ask for this.

 

Five years ago, she was a wife and mother to 10 year old girl, as well as holding down a bank job.  Her husband Chris owned a mechanic shop that was flailing.

 

They needed money and a friend of Chris suggested they could get some by robbing drug lord Diego Garcia.

 

Chris and Riley needed money but not bad enough to cross a drug lord like Diego Garcia.  So Chris passed on the deal.

 

But Garcia doesn’t know or care that Chris is NOT going to rob him now and decides to make an example of him for enen thinking about it. 💣

 

After an evening out for pizza and going to a carnival, the North family is targeted by Garcia’s thugs in a drive by shooting that leaves Riley severely wounded and her husband and daughter dead.😧

Riley can I.D. the shooters but damn! There is a LOT of bullshit arrayed against her.

The cops don't wanna take on Diego Garcia because the last cops who went after him wound up dead.🙈🙉🙊

Not to mention who knows which cops are on Garcia's payroll.

Riley still insists on testifying against the shooters but Garcia's lawyer discredits Riley as a credible witness. 

And the judge who is in Garcia's pocket dismissed the case due to a "lack of evidence".

Which causes Riley to lose her shit and attacks the killers in court which gives the judge an excuse to order Riley be put under a psychiatric hold. 😢

Well, you know how women get hysterical over the slightest thing like having a drug cartel murder her husband and daughter. 

While being transported to a psychiatric hospital, Riley North escapes and vanishes.

Five years later...

Certain people start dying. 

Diego Garcia's henchmen who shot Riley's family? DEAD! 

The henchmen's attorney? DEAD!

The corrupt prosecutor? DEAD! 

The corrupt judge? DEAD!

Riley North is back in town. 😠😠😠😠

Riley's living in a van down on Skid Row, loaded up with stolen weapons.  In addition to her quest for vengeance against Diego Garcia's drug cartel, she's been interventing to help protect the poor people on Skid Row.  They view Riley as a guardian angel, keepong them safe.

The cops go to the media to put out the word about Riley North: she's armed, she's dangerous, everyone beware! 

She's a hysterical woman! Watch out! 😡

Riley's media exposure causes some debate in the city. Some people see her as a murderous threat, breaking the law.  For others, Riley has become a cause célèbre for her one woman war against a viscious drug gang and the corrupt officials in their employ.  

For Riley, she has one goal. For each corrupt authority figure and feach criminal thug she kills, she's tightening the circle around Diego Garcia.  

The engame is putting an end to the monster himself. 

Riley's journey to her ultimate revenge is brutal.  As she eliminates target after target, she takes a lot of damage, broken, bruised, bloodied. 

And Diego Garcia is pushing back against Riley with a army arrayed against her.

Garcia sets up a trap for Riley.

Riley decides to walk into it, all the better to put a bullet in this motherfucker's brain.

But first she makes a phone call.

Media outlets throughout the city know where Riley North is gonna be.

Riley North vs. Diego Garcia.  The press and the police will have a front row seat.💥💥💥

Diego thinks the odds are in his favor.  He's bigger, meaner, stronger and he has a fully armed army at his command. 

And Riley is just one woman. 

She's also a mother who is holding on to a lot of rage over what Diego Garcia did to her family.

Advantage: Riley North.

Riley shoots Diego in the head.

Even though surrounded by police, Riley pulls a Batman and vanishes.   

She's ultimately found at her family's gravesite, bleeding out, ready to die.  

Riley's arrested for all the murders she did and taken to the hospital despite her protests, saying she is ready to die now.

But a police detective who was NOT on Diego Garcia's payroll helps her escape from the hospital and we have reach the end.

The blessed merciful end.

Oh, dear Lord, this movie! 😩

Peppermint is so ladened down with cliches and thread bare tropes.

All we're missing is "it was a dark and stormy night!" 

Diego Garcia is the overworn archetype of the Mexican drug lord, right down to his name.  Gee, did someone put a bunch of Hispanic type names in a hat and randomly drew "Garcia" and "Diego"?  

Credit where credit is due.  Jennifer Garner delivers a strong and ferocious performance as Riley North. I know we're so used to her gentle nature in those Capitol One ads, it's easy to forget what she's capable of.   

The Golden Rasberry Awards disagreed with me, nominating Garner for "Worst Actress" at their 2019 awards.   Fuck them! What do they know? 🙍

Hey, why is this movie called Peppermint?  It's the flavor of ice-cream Riley's daughter was eating when she was murdered.  It's also the alias Riley uses when she starts her quest for revenge. Mostly, everyone knows it's Riley and just calls her that. 

When the movie was released in South Korea, it was called I Am Mother. 💔

But Garner is too good for this slight 1980's throwback revenge flick.   And I am not alone in this assessment.

  

Rotten Tomatoes:  13% approval rating of 13% and an average rating of 3.6 out of 10. 

Metacritic:  score of 29 out of 100.

Audiences polled by CinemaScore were a bit kinder, giving the film an average grade of "B+".

Peppermint may be lacking in originality and anything resembling nuance but I suppose if you need to turn your brain off and watch corrupted authority figures and crass criminals get theirs in the most violent way possible, there are worse ways than spending time with Jennifer Garner doling out some righteous revenge.

Like a good seriously jacked, gun wielding mother would.

Happy Mother's Day! ❤❤❤❤

 

A Very Ryan Gosling Your Friday Video Link

To follow up on last weekend's Movie Time post about Project Hail Mary starring Ryan Gosling, this week's edition of Your Friday Video Link features Ryan Gosling.

Specifically his turns guest hosting Saturday Night Live!

First up is the legendary Alien Abduction sketch where Ryan can barely hold it together while Kate McKinnon steals the show.

Ryan returned to SNL a few weeks ago to promote Project Hail Mary and stars in a sketch about a couple checking out of a hotel and dealing with some questionable charges relating to... the Goo-Goo Man!

Last year, Ryan hosted SNL and joined Mikey Day as a couple of dudes who look like Beavis and Butthead. 

And it's Heidi Gardner's turn to be rattled. 

And that is that for this week's Your Friday Video Link.

Until next time, remember to good to one another.

And never overpay for the Goo-Goo Man.   

Dave-El's Spinner Rack:Justice League Unlimited

 In the aftermath of the DC K.O. event, the Justice League is dealing with getting the world back to something resembling normalcy.  

Which is kind of a tricky thing to do:

• When the planet was nearly completely evacuated.
• Those that didn't get evacuated were preyed on by demons from Hell.
• Darkseid showed up and devastated the planet.
• And all that is here is still here because Superman used the power of King Omega (AND Alpha) to re-write time and reality.
• And for all that, Darkseid's attack was merely an opening round. The worst is yet to come.
• And Superman is missing. 
• And Batman still can't find his socks in the morning.*

*In the 1989 Batman film, Bruce Wayne tells Vicki Vale he can't find his socks in the morning without Alfred.  And Alfred is still dead. So I'm assuming Bruce is still having trouble finding his socks. And I've gone way too far with this. 

With Darkseid coming to Earth and shaking it upside down like a kid shaking a cereal box looking for the prize inside, returning to the status quo may not be in the cards.

It almost seems like just another day in the DC Universe when a couple of super villians, Tarpit and Girder, appear to be trying to destroy a bridge in Keystone City.

Stargirl, Air Wave and Kid Flash (Wallace West) are dispatched to stop them but the civilians on the scene intervene.  Tarpit and Girder  are actually stabilizing the bridge to keep it from collapsing.

Once the bridge crisis is in check, Tarpit and Girder give the Justice Leaguers an earful. Before the King Omega Tournament, super villains were rounded up and zapped temporarily into the Phantom Zone.  

Tarpit and Girder think that was bogus. They assert that super villains had a stake in saving the Earth and having their chance at redemption.  

Batman is monitoring this interaction.  He knows that Superman's defeat of Darkseid was a mere holding action, that Darkseid will attack Earth again and will be stronger than ever.

Batman also knows that the Justice League will need EVERY hand on deck to counter that threat.  

Batman has a lot to think about.  With Superman missing, he needs guidance and counsel and seeks the input of two Justice Leaguers who have wisdom bestowed by the gods.

The topic: amnesty for super villains.   

SIDE BAR: Hey, we're calling that guy with the wisdom of Solomon "Captain Marvel" again?

When both DC and Marvel were pushing their respective versions of Captain Marvel into the movies, DC opted to not call him that. Sobriquets like "Shazam" (even though it meant he never could say his own name) or simply "The Captain" were run up the flagpole but nobody saluted.  

Look, the guy Billy Batson transformed into by saying "Shazam!" has been Captain Marvel since 1939 and calling him anything else never made any sense.

Yeah, Marvel has their own Captain Marvel and DC's concession to that is not to call their version that on the covers, just in the interior stories and art. And that I think is enought! 

Hooray for Captain Marvel being Captain Marvel again. 

OK, back to Justice League Unlimited.  

Props to writer Mark Waid for dealing with the aftermath of a big event by addressing the logical fallout and consequences of such an event.  

And kudos to broaching the idea that the super villains taken off the board before the KIng Omega Tournament resent being excluded from fighting for their planet. 

Even Batman sees their point and from a practical standpoint, when Darkseid makes his inevitable follow up attack on Earth, the Justice League is going to need everybody on board.  

So the amnesty plan is a daring idea but one born of necessity. It is also fraught with risks.  Like how perpetual ego maniac Lex Luthor threatens to screw up things.  Like Luthor would denigrate himself to accept someone else's so called amnesty.

Interior art for this arc is by Clayton Henry, giving the ridicously overworked Dan Mora a break. Henry has a clean bold line that works well with a variety of character styles.  

I will note that Mark Waid does seem to be spending a lot of time playing clean up for big events elsewhere in the DC Universe and I look forward to see Waid and Justice League Unlimited getting to a storyline for this title and not in support of someone else's project.

Next week on the Spinner Rack: Make Mine Marvel AND Destination DC! It's a new titanic team up of Spider-Man and Superman! 

That's Just Bananas!

 A couple of things about Monday's Ballroom Blitz post.

1) The video that opened the post, a parody of the song "Ballroom Blitz" by Sweet, was AI generated.

I do not condone or endorse AI generated stuff and I'll try to be more mindful of that in the future.

2) The $400 million dollar price tag? Yeah, that's old news.

Try $1 billion! Yep, billion with a "B".

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) released a proposal confiring Senate Republicans are seeking $1 billion from taxpayers for the project.

You know, the same ballroom project that Donald Trump insisted would be privately funded?

And the same Republicans who slashed safety net programs for food and healthcare assistance because we can't afford them? 

But there's enough spare change lying around to fund Trump's gilded albatross.

You know, I just can't cope with this right now.

Put up the damn bananas!

I'm not dealing with this today.

There's a comic book post locked and loaded for tomorrow.

And Your Friday Video Link post for Friday is in the chute with some comedy gold from Ryan Gosling.

But today..... Nope!

$1 billion for a ballroom?

That's just bananas! 

Tuesday TV Touchbase: Abbott Elementary and Happy's Place (and Other Things)

Welcome to this week's edition of the Tuesday TV Touchbase.

This is where each TUEDAY. I TOUCHBASE on stuff I'm watching on TV.

We all good? Good! 

A couple of weeks ago, Andrea and I caught up to the season finale of Abbott Elementary.  

BAD NEWS: Jeanine and Gregory broke up! 

NO! What the hell happened?!?

Vacation plans.

• Both Jeanine and Gregory agreed they wanted to get out Philadephia.  Good! 
• Both Jeanine and Gregory agreed where they want to go, the Outer Banks of North Carolina! Excellent choice.

But matter on how to get there, well, that was quite the deal breaking bone of contention.

• Gregory mapped out the perfect route to drive from Philly to the Outer Banks.  
• Jeanine didn't want to be stuck in a car for 10 hours and wanted to fly. 
• Gregory asserted that flying cost too much and wasn't very practical.
• Jeanine didn't care and wanted to fly.

And this is why they broke up.  Seriously.

Taking this hardest (besides of course Jeanine and Gregory) was Jacob who was distraught that his favorite hetero couple was on the outs.  Jacob isn't eating right and losing sleep over the broken status of Jeanine and Gregory.

I am also seriously bummed out that  Jeanine and Gregory broke up.  But...

• Look, I'm gonna take sides on this and say Gregory ain't wrong. If you fly out of Philly, your best option for a direct flight to North Carolina is into Raliegh-Durham where you would still need to rent a car for the 3+ hour drive to the Outer Banks. 
• Look,  you MIGHT think scoring a direct flight into Wilmington International Airport would save the rental car drive time but it's actually longer, 4+ hours.  
• I just realized you could skip flying to North Carolina altogether and fly into Norfolk International Airport which services Virginia Beach and that drive is about 2+ hours to the Outer Banks. 

I have spent WAY too much time thinking about this. Gregory's right, flying sucks! 

Jeanine and Gregory agree that they are miserable without each other and the Outer Banks suck! 

GOOD NEWS: Jeanine and Gregory are back together again. 

Even it means disparaging a beautiful North Carolina vacation destination.  The relationship of Jeanine and Gregory takes predence over Tarheel tourism. 

BAD NEWS: Abbott Elementary is breaking up!

NO!! What the hell happened?!?!

It seems the Philadelphia school superintendent embezzled a bunch of funds and now there's no money to keep all the schools open so a bunch will need to close.

And Abbott is on the list.

Until the new super finds out how much money the district spent to refurbish the school's heating and plumbing systems. So...

GOOD NEWS: Abbott Elementary is staying open! 

But when the new season starts this fall, we'll find a seriously overcroweded Abbott as the kids from the other schools that are still closing will have to go somewhere.  

I was a bit worried that Abbott Elementary was coasting a bit in it's 5th season but I think the show may have delivered it's best season. 

Andrea and I also caught up with the 2nd season finale of Happy's Place.   Andrea still likes the show and I will admit will occassionally laugh at something.  But it doesn't help that the funniest performances have come from guest stars like Jane Lynch as Gabby's mom, Cheri Oteri as Monica the health inspector and Eric Stonestreet as a couples counselor. 

(Eric has aged since his time on Modern Family and lost a lot of weight. I hope he's OK.) 

In case anyone cares, Emmett the cook has broken up with Monica but is not ready to get back together will Bobbie.

Even though Bobbie is ready to get back together with Emmett.

(The next week,Rex Linn who plays Emmett was on Georgie & Mandy's First Marriage as his Principal Tom Petersen character from Young Sheldon.  Still looking and sounding like Emmett.)  

Happy's Place remains an agressively inoffensive show with only a modicum of laughs. It's also NBC's highest rated sitcom. 

Ranked as NBC's lowest rated sitcom is the way funnier Stumble, the cheerleading mockumentary. So naturally NBC cancelled it, denying it a 2nd season.  

I do recommend checking out that 1 season Stumble did get. It really was an absurdly funny show.

Also on NBC's chopping block is the medical drama Brilliant Minds. This one is not much of a shocker given the bad ratings and NBC's poor treatment of the show.  Hopefully the commitment to air the last 6 episodes starting later this month is still in place.

That is that for this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.   

Ballroom Blitz

Since we're gonna be talking about Li'l Donnie Trump's widdle ballroom, let's kick off with a musical parody of the 1970's wildest party rock anthem, Ballroom Blitz.

So after last weekend's swing and a miss assassination attempt at the White House Correspondence Dinner, Trump and his Republican minions have lined up behind a pivotal answer on how to address gun violence.

Stronger gun control laws? Fuck no!

Better access to mental health treatment? Hell no!!

A ballroom? OK, NOW you're talking! Fucking hell YEAH!!!

BALLROOM!!!

BALLROOM!!!

BALLROOM!!!

BALLROOM!!!

BAAAAALLROOOOOOOM!!!

In response to another attack of political violence, Sen. Lindsey Graham proposed a bill to fully fund the $400 million White House ballroom.

Yes, you in the back. You have questions.

1. Wasn't the ballroom suppose to only be $200 million?
2. And privately funded?

Well those are excellent questions. 

To answer #1, not for a long while now. Trump keeps adding marble columns and jacking up the price tag.

As for question #2, Graham suggested the private funding coud be used for other things for the ballroom such as 

1. china 
2. and stuff 

Seriously, he said that.

Oh, and I'm not done. Graham also suggested it was vital that Trump should be able to roll out of bed and walk to his ballroom

Walk? WALK?!  Does Graham's funding bill not include a palanquin?!

FUN FACT:  A palanquin is a traditional human-powered transport consisting of an ornately decorated covered box or bed suspended from poles and carried on the shoulders of multiple bearers, historically used by royalty and elites for travel and ceremony.

Whoever's running against Lindsay Graham better figure out where they stand on this important ballroom issue. 

The people wanna know! 

Fuck gas prices and grocery prices!! 

Will Donald Trump really have to walk to this ballroom?!

It's a damn shame the United States can't spring for a palanquin! 

MAGA heads came out in force defending the absolutely critical need for a White House Ballroom. One person on Fox News objected that Trump should have to go anywhere and people should come to him.

Who cares about guns when a ballroom solves everything?

And besides we all know the real threat to America is sea shells! 

Oh hell YEAH!! FUCKING SEA SHELLS!!! 

...

...

Wait! What? 

Oh, yeah, this shit! 

Former FBI Director James Comey was indicted for threatening to kill Donald Trump! 

OK, that can't be right! 

Well, it's true and he put that threat in writing. 

And here it is! 

The homicidal heretic had to gall to post this on Instagram!

That's just some sea shells arranged to form the numbers 8, 6, 4 and 7. 

WHAT?! Are you blind?!?!

• 86 means "KILL"
• 47 means the 47th President of the United States who is Donald Trump.

James Comey had this to say about his post: "It's just a silly picture of shells that I thought was a clever way to express a political viewpoint. And actually I still think it is. I don’t see it the way some people are still saying it is, but again, I don’t want any part of any violence. I’ve never been associated with violence, and so that’s why I took it down.” 

Well, that seems like a perfectly reasonable viewpoint and surely no harm, no foul, let's move on please.

Oops! I said "perfectly reasonable viewpoint" so natch, der Führer has an objection.

 “If anybody knows anything about crime, they know 86. … It’s a mob term for kill him. You know, you ever see the movies? ’86’ the mobster says to one of his wonderful associates. ’86 him.’ That means kill him. … People think of it as something having to do with disappearing, but the mob uses that term to say when they want to kill somebody, they say, ’86 the son of a gun.'”

I hate to say I might defer to Donald Trump on this one but hell, if anyone knows how criminals talk...

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines "86" as a slang term meaning "to get rid of" or "throw out".  They acknowledge some recent use of 86 to mean"to kill" but that usage is so sparse, it's not counted as part of the definition. 

The Oxford English Dictionary also says of the U.S. slang term, “In restaurants and bars, an expression indicating that the supply of an item is exhausted, or that a customer is not to be served.” With NO reference to any kind of killing.

Well, what do they know? Like they're some kind of repositories of words and phrases with a current accounting of their meanings and usage? 

Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche says "the Department of Justice has done a tremendous amount of investigation. And how do you prove intent in any case? You prove intent with witnesses, with documents, with the defendant himself, to the extent is appropriate, and that’s how we’ll prove intent in this case.”

Allow me to translate: "We ain't got shit but der Führer's feelings were hurt so fuck that, we gonna do something!" 

Hey, Todd? Yeah, I'm talking to you, motherfucker! 

• 8647!
• 8647!
• 8647!
• 8647!
• 8647!
• 8647!

Come at me, bro! C'mon!

Geez, I better clarify this 'cause Todd Blanche is a fucking moron.

I am NOT advocating for violence against your dear leader, Todd!.

I AM advocating that Donald Trump is a lying, petulant, bullying, unintelligent, sociopathic, dishonorable, treasonous, gutless, moronic, heartless, soulless, slimy, loathsome, vile, incompetent, psychotic, crooked, disgusting, reprehensible, revolting, horrible, malicious, obnoxious, hateful, small minded, despicable god damn, motherfucking piece of shit! 

And quite frankly so are you, Todd! 

So what have we learned today, children?

• The real danger in this world is sea shells.
• And our only protection is a ballroom! 

And speaking of a ballroom! 

From Wayne's World, it's the super smoking hot Tia Carrere  with her cover of  Ballroom Blitz!

This (Non) Sporting Life: Kentucky Derby 2026

Welcome to another edition of This (Non) Sporting Life, a blog post about sports written by a guy who does not know much about sports.

And if there is a sport I don't know much about, it's horse racing. 

But it has become a habit for Andrea and I each first Saturday of May to watch the Kentucky Derby. 

It's kind of like how we don't know much about football but we will watch the Super Bowl. 

The lead up to the actual race itselt is a spectacle of conspicous wealth and fealty to arcane traditions.

And hats! 

Hats are BIG literally and metaphorically at the Kentucky Derby.

Those are some hats! 

The race itself lasts a couple of minutes so we got a LOT of time to fill before the thing itself arrives. 

Interviews with owners about how much they've worked and sacrificed to make it to this day.

"Instead of platinum, we had to settle for mere gold plumbing fixtures on our luxury yacht like a common Trump. Oh dear, it has been quite the struggle."

Nobody interviews the horses. 

Various sports reporters and analysts offered their takes on who will win this most hallowed and sacred of horse racing events.

There's a QR code to scan to place your bets.

Oh my! There is gambling at this most hallowed and sacred of horse racing events?  

I am shocked SHOCKED! to find there is gambling at this...

The gambling site with the QR code is one of NBC's sponsors?

Yay! Gambling! Gambling is great!

I for one welcome our gambling overlords! 

Finally the big moment arrives and we're....

Watching horses being led to their stalls.

One big jet black horse called Great White doesn't want to to go.  He rears back, throws off his rider and falls to the ground.  The horse quickly gets back up and seems to be OK but Great White gets scratched from the big race.

So all you racists out there who bet on him because he's named "Great White", well, tough luck!

Finally the big moment arrives and we're....

OFF!!! 

The 152nd running of the Kentucky Derby is underway! 

Down the stretch they come and with 23-1 odds of winning this thing, it's Golden Tempo first across the finish line! 

Jockey Jose Ortiz, who has ridden in the Kentucky Derby 10 times, had his first win with Golden Tempo.

"I'm just glad I get to ride almost every year, but to get the winner is just special. I just wish my grandpa was here."

Cherie DeVaux is the first female trainer to win the Kentucky Derby.

"I don't even have any words right now. I'm just so, so happy for Golden Tempo, Jose did a wonderful job. He has had so much faith in this horse."

What about the horse? Did anyone interview Golden Tempo?

"I was promised hay! And an apple!"

Thank you, Golden Tempo, for that insight.

The winner of the Kentucky Derby receives $3.1 million of the race's $5 million purse.

The horse doesn't get $3.1 million.  The owners get the money.

"I say, we can take those dreadful gold fixtures off the yacht now! I'm thinking diamond faucets?"

Well, the owners do have to share.

The trainer gets $300,000.

The jockey also gets $300,000.

The horse gets the really good hay. And TWO apples!