Politics Of Absurdity - Vote For Count Binface!

So this campaign poster has been appearing at the end of my blog posts since Monday.

What is going on here?

Who is Count Binface?

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior, leader of the Recyclons from the planet Sigma IX.

Count Binface is the hope and salvation of Clacton On Sea.

Okay, I'll bite: What the hell is a "Clacton On Sea"?

Clacton-on-Sea (or just Clacton) is a coastal town in Essex, England on the Tendring Peninsula.  It has a population of about 53,000 people.

Clacton has been thrust into the international spotlight because their MP (Member of Parliament) is a self serving prick named Nigel Farage.   

Fuck! More questions?!?  

Who the fuck is Nigel Farage?  

He's this guy. 

Farage is a conservative opportunist like we have in America. Think JD Vance but with remarkably even less charisma. He uses conservative causes to advance his own naked grabs for power and influence.  

Farage was a gladfly in British politics using all sorts of racist propoganda to push the country towards Brexit and to promote himself as some kind of political leader, with eyes on 10 Downing Street and one day becoming Prime Minister.

That being said, it was not until July 2024 that Farage actually won an election, as an MP for Clacton. 

He appears to have used that time in office to enrich himself and came under investigation for receiving large questionable payments, what you and I might call "bribes". 

Pleading weaponization of the government against him, Farage resigned as MP from Clacton which triggered a by-election to fill his empty seat in Parliament.

Farage declared himself a candidate for the seat he just resigned from. He wants to make the votes of the people a referendum on his culpability for charges of corruption. Let the people decide, not some deep state entity out to get him. 

So far the only candidate running against Farage in this by-election is Count Binface. 

This guy! 

Count Binface has been a presence in British elections for several years now, running as an official candidate on various ballots.   

Including this by-election for MP of Clacton On Sea.

What exactly is his political agenda?

• He is NOT Nigel Farage.  
• Address the nation's housing crisis by building ONE affordable house.  
• Cut YOUR taxes, raise everybody else's
• Ban the use of the speakerphone function on mobile phones, with offenders forced to watch the 2019 film Cats every day for a year
• Rename London Bridge to "Phoebe Waller-Bridge"
• Make the minimum voting age 16 and a maximum voting age of 80.   
• Move the hand dryer in the men's toilet at the Crown and Treaty pub in Uxbridge to a more sensible position.  

I've seen photos from the men's room at the Crown and Treaty pub and Count Binface is NOT wrong. Who thought putting the hand dryer in a corner between the urinals and the sinks was a good idea? 

Unlike previous elections where Count Binface was clearly the joke candidate, in this election, it is Nigel Farage who many consider to be the joke. 

Could Count Binface win this thing? 

Look at these two men.

One of them is a joke, an embarrassment.

The other is Count Binface.  

Here is some recent polling data.

I for one welcome our rubbish bin helmeted Overlord.*

*Even if that overlord is just 46 year old British writer Jonathan David Harvey.  

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The politics of absurdity remains strong here in the United States.  Donald Trump is going to make an address to the nation this evening.

The topic is expected to be:

• His war with Iran?  Nope! 
• How much shit costs in the United States? Nope!
• The explosive diarrhea outbreak ravaging the nation? Nope!

A rambling rant about how he really won the 2020 election? Yeah, that's the one. 

Where is Count Binface when you need him?   

Dave-El's Spinner Rack: The Million Dollar Debut of Batgirl

In my last batch of new comics from Acme Comics, I indulged in a facsimile edition of Detective Comics#359.

Facsimile editions are not merely reprints but reproduce the entire comic as it originally appeared including ads, letter columns and more.

There are some alterations. Sadly, the original 15 cent price point is replaced with the $3.99 price.  

And there is a credit for "Batman created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger". 

What makes Detective Comics#359 significant is that it marks the first appearance of Barbara Gordan,AKA Batgirl.  

She makes her first appearnce on the cover by Carmine Infantino and Murphy Anderson.  

When Julius Schwarz took over as editor of Batman and Detective Comics, he eliminated the ancilllary characters from the books such as Ace the Bathound, Kathy Kane AKA Batwoman and her neice, Bette as Bat-Girl. 

But the Batman TV show wanted to introduce a female member of the Bat team and Schwartz was tasked with creating such a character for the comics to appear in advance of her TV debut.

Here we see Adam West and Yvonne Craig perusing a copy of Detective Comics#359.

And here we have Yvonne Craig in all her purple and gold glory as Batgirl.  

Gardner Fox, Carmine Infantino & Sid Greene  introduce us to Barbara Gordon and how she becomes Batgirl.   

It begins on a bit of a lark. Barbara has designed herself a Batgirl costume for a masquerade party. 

That costume really does do something for Barbara. It fixes her vision problems. Barbara wears glasses but Batgirl doesn't need 'em. 

 On fhe way to the party, she happens across a costumed villain called Killer Moth kidnapping Bruce Wayne.  

Batgirl more than holds her own against Killer Moth's goons but Moth entangles her in a web cocoon and disappears.

Bruce has changed into Batman and intervenes.  

Barbara tries to put her one night of adventure as Batgirl behind her but she can't get it off her mind.  

She continues to work out, training for another adventure as Batgirl that may never come.

But tragedy strikes that forces Barbara to become Batgirl once more.

Batgirl began by stopping the kidnapping of Bruce Wayne.

Now she has to return to avenge his murder.

Murder?  

The "murder" of Bruce Wayne was part of a plot by Batman and Robin to lure Killer Moth into a trap.  

The Dynamic Duo confront Batgirl with the usual drivel of "this kind of work is too dangerous for a girl" blah blah blah, you know the drill. 

But Batgirl is undaunted (that outfit is too tight her to keep any daunts) and follows Batman & Robin where Killer Moth has caught the duo in a trap and it's up to Batgirl to extricate them and put an end to Killer Moth's shenanigans once and for all.  

At the end of the issue, Batgirl gets an endorsement from Batman and a complimentary assessement from Commissioner Gordon that is NOT creepy at all.  

"Hey, you know that super heroine with the form fitting costume? Could you be more like that, daughter?" 

No, not creepy at all.

Batgirl would appear with Batman & Robin again and also get a solo back up series in Detective Comics.   

The facsimile edition includes the letter column that appeared in Detective Comics#359.

Hey, there's a letter from future professional comic book/animation writer person Mark Evanier. 

Hey kids! Get your own telegraph set! 

With a buzzer AND light? Wow! That's worth $1.98 for sure!

Great fun to have with your friends.

Friends not included.

Rounding out the issue is an Elongated Man back up by Gardner Fox & Murphy Anderson.

  

There's some fun banter between Ralph and Sue Dibny and some nice art from Murphy Anderson.  Otherwise, It's a slight tale of no consequence. 

The Infantino/Anderson cover to Detective Comics#359 has been parodied or homaged.  For example, there's this cover to Batman: Gotham Knights#43 by Brian Bolland.  

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And that is that for the beginning of Batgirl.

Next week's comic book post looks back on Batman's tale of his beginning and his probable end.

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Wait a minute!

Hold on! 

This.....?

This again?!?!

This has been at the end of every post this week since Monday?

What is going on? And why? 

Explanations are forthcoming in our next post later this morning.

All hail and glory to Count Binface! 

This (Non) Sporting Life: Twilight Baseball

This post is a sequel to last week's entry Midday Baseball.

This post involves a follow up visit to watch the Greensboro Grasshoppers for an evening game against the Greenville (SC) Drive.  And since this was on a Saturday evening, a post game fireworks display. 

Like the previous excursion, this was done on my employer's dime but this time I had to pay for food. My free baseball game cost me over $30.  

Below is a shot of the downtown stadium with some beautiful cloud displays in the evening sky. Excellent artwork by the late great Bob Ross.  

Unlike the day game, this time I was accompanied by my wife, Andrea.  

You might wonder why I didn't post a photo of me looking happy.

Yeah, that is me looking happy.  The other selfies I took looked like angry arrest photos.  

The Greensboro Grasshoppers have two mascots. There's this strange bug like creature dressed like a pirate for some reason.

It seems the "some reason" is the 'Hoppers are now the farm team for the Pittsburgh Pirates. I really do not know much about sports.   

Here's the classic mascot for the team, Guilford the Grasshopper.

The 'Hoppers used to have a bat dog, a black lab named Babe who would retrieve bats. Sadly, Babe is no longer with us but is immortalized in a pair of statues outside the stadium.

And by whatever this nonsense is. 

Our seats were up on the 2nd level in my employer's sky box. It provides a clear view of the field from just above the first base line.  

Behind us on that elevated perch was some guy who had to comment on everything.  He would admit he didn't know something and then elaborate for 10 minutes trying to fill the gap in his knowledge.  

Despite the sun going down and the temperature descending into the mid 70's, the weather remained oppressively hot.  The air was still and according to Andrea's weather app on her phone, humidity was at 86%.  From being baked on Wednesday to being steamed on Saturday.

Our repast for the evening included hot dogs, chips and sodas followed by ice cream.  

The ice cream was Dipping Dots which Andrea still enjoys but I quite frankly do not.  I really do not understand what the fuss is about.  

The Grasshoppers were in the lead going into the 9th and that guy behind us told his son to pay attention, the game was 3 outs from being over. 

Yeah, about that.  

The Greenville Drive had other plans and pulled the game into a tie. Bottom of the 9th, Greensboro could not pull ahead and we're into extra innings, folks. 

It's gonna be awhile before we can get to those fireworks.

In the first half of the 11th inning, the Drive drive home 5 runs.

If the Grasshoppers truly love their fans, they will graciously accept defeat.

"Root! Root! Root for the visitors! 

I can't take anymore!

'Cause it's ONE - TWO - THREE strikes you're out!

The home team 

Can do

NO MORE!"

Bottom of the 11th and 'Hoppers strike out which was awfully nice of them and we finally got to the fireworks.  

Here are a few photos from that.   

Andrea enjoyed the experience which was what was important to me.

As for myself, I am a curmudgeonly ornery bastard and between

• the high price of food
• fighting the crowds and noise to get the food
• the chatterbox behind me 
• the excessive humidity

The most positive thing I can say is I survived the experience.

And I am so glad my suffering amuses you.

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Tuesday TV Touchbase: Big Mistakes and Schitt$ Creek

Today is Dan Levy Day here on the Tuesday TV Touchbase.

Dan is the son of Eugene Levy (SCTV, American Pie, etc) with whom he created Schitt$ Creek.

Schitt$ Creek follows the travails of the rich Rose family.

Well, formerly rich.  

It seems a business partner Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy) relied on wasn't so reliable when it came to managing the Rose family's wealth, leaving them bereft of all their money and possessions.

Except one.

Back in 1991, Johnny bought his son David (Dan Levy) a small town in Canada called Schitt's Creek.  It was meant as a joke.

It's all the Rose family has left.

So Johnny, David, Johnny's wife Moira (Catherine O'Hara) and David's sister Alexis (Annie Murphy) set up shop in the small rural town, making their home in a couple of rooms in the town's run down motel.  

The Rose family runs into problems as their old life style of being rich runs into the obstacle of being poor as well as trying to make life work in an odd provincial town. 

I recently finished the first season of Schitt$ Creek which ends with Johnny finding a buyer for the town. The Rose family is ready to book it out of town ASAP but their efforts to say goodbye are premature when the fat boorish slob set to buy the town keels over dead from a heart attack before he can sign the paperwork.  

Despite Johnny's efforts to force a pen in the dead man's hand and scrawl a signature on the bottom line.

The fish out of water dynamic that forces the urbane city sophisticate Rose family to learn to cope with the quirks of their new found home fuels a lot of the comedy and the unexpected heart of the series.

My favorite relationship that develops is between David and Stevie, the sardonic motel clerk.  Stevie doesn't seem to have a lot that really holds her interest in Schitt's Creek and somehow, she has become David's only friend, not just in this town but perhaps in his whole life.

Steve is played by Emily Hampshire who set the lowest bar possible for a contestant on Celebrity Jeopardy.  She's the standard I measure by for bad performances on that show.  A celebrity might have a bad night but I will observe they are not "Emily Hampshire levels of bad".  On Schitt$ Creek as Stevie, Emily is quite charming.   

Aftrer Schitt$ Creek ended, Annie Murphy would go on to play the beleagured wife Allison on Kevin Can Fuck Himself.

Sadly, Catherine O'Hara is no longer with us but her Moira Rose is an incredible capstone to her remarkable legacy as a comedian and actor.  

Dan Levy followed up Schitt$ Creek by creating another oddball comedy series called Big Mistakes.

Big Mistakes is a boiling cauldron of dysfunction.  

Dan Levy is Nicky, a minister who is gay but that's OK, the congregation knows that and are cool with it... as long as he doesn't do gay stuff.  Which is a source of stress as Nicky has a boyfriend and they are most assuredly doing gay stuff.

His sister Morgan is a school teacher by day and a total hot mess the rest of the time. She's trapped in a long term relationship with Max who is a petty, spoiled, passive agressive, selfish prick. 

Nicky and Morgan's mother Linda and their youngest sister Natalie always find someway to make Nicky and Morgan feel worse about their lives.  

The series opens with Linda's very elderly and very sick mother about to die right before her birthday which Linda insists on celebrating as she berates Nicky and Morgan for not making her mother's death easier on her.  

In the first of many "big mistakes", Morgan, looking for a gift for her dying grandma, shoplifts a presumably cheap necklace from a gift shop that is a front for a Turkish criminal cartel. The proprietor of the store tracks down Nicky and Morgan and demands the return of the necklace under threat of death.

Except Linda already put the necklace around grandma's neck right before she died and is now buried with it.  

Which leads to the first of Nicky and Morgan's crimes in service to the Turkish criminal cartel: grave robbing.  

I say "the first" as returning the necklace does not absolve Nicky and Morgan from their servitude to the Turkish criminal cartel.

As much as Nicky loathes these errands for the gang, Morgan is so deperate for some respite from her life with Max, she's more sanguine about her role running odd jobs for the mob.  

Meanwhile, with her mother now dead, Linda takes on more stress by running for mayor of her town. While Natalie is devoted and doting on her mother, Linda still complains that Nicky and Morgan are not doing more to help her.   

Nicky's feeling pressure from his church and from his boyfriend while Morgan's useless whiny boyfriend has somehow cajoled her into an engagement. 

And all top of that, there's the continual threat of death at the hands of the Turkish criminal cartel.

The Turks keep employing the sibling duo in a series of bizarre errands. The Turks are looking to make an end run around the Italian mob to take over the drug trade from Bolivia by smuggling cocaine in cows. 

Nicky's continual stumbling out of grace from grave robbing to doing lines of coke at a Miami night club is like watching a car wreck in slow motion.  Nicky is in a state of constant astonishment at how far everything has spun out of control.

In case you're wondering how does a pastor know how to do lines of coke, Morgan shows him how.  Don't ask how a school teacher knows how to do lines of coke. 

But perhaps the nightmare spiral can end when gunmen mow down the Turks and the Bolivians.  Are Nicky and Morgan finally out from under the thumb of the mob?

Returning home, Nicky and Morgan attend Linda's victory party after she wins the mayoral election.

But...

Why are so many people from the Italian mob at the party?

They were invited.  

And much to their growing alarm, Nicky and Morgan realize just how deeply and close to home the hooks of the mob are imbedded in their family.   

Props to Laurie Metcalf who goes full tilt into the role of Linda, a woman who cannot stop herself of from saying whatever she is thinking. Linda's professed love for her family is fractured by the frequent cruelty of her candor towards that family.  Even ever devoted youngest daughter Natalie isn't spared.  

And Dan Levy crafts a compelling character in Nicky who struggles with his faith, his identity and his morals even has he descends deeper down the hole into a criminal enterprise he never wanted. 

Unlike the more whimsical charms of Schitt$ Creek,  Big Mistakes is a much darker, more disturbing show.  Both shows trafffic in humor derived from social awkwardness.  But the worst that can happen on Schitt$ Creek is embarrassment.

On Big Mistakes, the stakes are more grim and dangerous. And the season ends with Nicky and Morgan in an inextractable mess.  

I have no idea how or even if season 2 can get them out of it.  

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I need to take a moment and acknowledge the passing of Randolph Mantooth at age 80.  He had a long and prolific career as a TV and movie actor that spanned 5 decades.  But I knew him best as John Gage on the TV series Emergency!

Emergency! was part of the stable of shows produced by Jack Webb that included Dragnet and Adam-12.

Both Andrea and I watched this show when we were kids and around the late 1990's, I think, Nick@Nite began running Emergency! reruns one summer and damned if we didn't follow those reruns every evening.  

Randolph Mantooth played John Gage, one of a pair of paramedics for a then nascent emergency medical unit operating out of Fire Station 51.  The program faced resistance from hospitals who were not comfortable with firefighters handing medical stuff and firefighter who questioned why some of their own were doing anything other than fighting fires.

Squad 51 driven by Gage and DeSoto.

John Gage and his partner Roy DeSoto (played by Kevin Tighe) do their best to prove the paramedic program is a good idea. Mantooth and Tighe took real paramedic classes to add some realism to their performances.  But Mantooth once admited that despite that training, "if anyone has a heart attack, I'll call 911 with the best of them."

Even after Emergency! ended and he  went on to other acting roles, Randolph Mantooth remained a tireless advocate for firefighters and EMS workers.

God bless, Mr. Mantooth and may you rest in peace. 

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And that is that for this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase.

Coming up on the Touchbase: The Vampire Lestat wraps up the season.  

And Andre and I will be bringing in Spider Noir for a landing.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.   

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The Week In Trump By Dave Columbo

I'm not up for the normal politically themed post on whatever bullshit Donald Trump did last week.

So from one Dave to another, I'm going to let Dave Columbo do the heavy lifting with his weekly summary of whatever bullshit Donald Trump did last week.

Dave Columbo is an actor and comedian I've been following for months on Tik Tok and I thank him for his sacrifice for shining a light on the hell we're all living through.  

One of Dave's recurring bits is to do dramatic readings but instead of using a classic play or movie script, Dave uses Li'l Donnie's speeches.  

Like this dramatic monologue based on Trump's actual rant about pens during an actual cabinet meeting. 

Thank you, Dave, for doing this work so I don't have to.

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Lindsey Graham

Well, I sure as hell didn't see this one coming.

While we've been out here trying to figure out if Sen. Mitch McConnell is alive or dead or some other 3rd thing, Sen. Lindsey Graham actually went and done did die and we know about it.

Unlike that bastard Mitch*, it was awfully nice of Lindsey not to leave us hanging on the subject of his death.

Well, Lindsey was always such a drama queen.

*By the way, Mitch McConnell issued a statement that he is most assuredly alive and not dead.  Well, there goes all our our fun.

Are we sure Lindsey's dead? Let's check in with the coroner.

So we know he's really dead but as to the how and why of his death....

What the unholy fuck happened? 

The official but vague statement is he died of a sudden illness.

We may take that at face value. Dude was 71 years old and stuff you might survive when you're 31 might kill you when you're 71.   

But given the recent drama and uncertainty of Sen. Mitch McConnell and the vagueness of the statement on Sen. Graham ("sudden illness" doesn't tell us anything), many are not ready to take anything at face value.

I have some thoughts on the matter. Granted just some idle speculation.

1. The "sudden illness" was not so sudden.  Lindsey was hiding a long term illness to not interfere with his re-election campaign. 

2. The senator had just returned from a trip to Ukraine where he was a dependable hawk in boosting Ukraine's resistance to Russian aggression.  Graham has been consistent in urging Donald Trump to continue support for Ukraine which runs counter to what Vladmir Putin wants Li'l Donnie to do. Putin has been known to assassinate enemies with bio-weapons.  What if Graham was the target of such an attack?

All of that is just consipiracy theory bluster. Occam's razor suggests the most likely answer is that Lindsey Graham got done in by an unexpected heart attack or aneurysm or something of that nature.

But given how much we've been lied to and gaslighted by the current Trumop dominated political machine, who can blame us for thinking something else might be up.*

*OK, turns out Lindsey's cause of death was aortic dissection which is what killed actor John Ritter in 2003 at the age 55.  Aortic dissection is some nasty business with intense sweating, chest pain and vomiting before the heart finally gives out. It's a damn shame a nice guy like John Ritter had to go through that. 

Moving from Lindsey Graham's death to the course of his life, in this time of Donald Trump and the rise of MAGA, I dare say the same question about his death applies to his life:  

What the unholy fuck happened? 

I can't say I always supported Sen. Lindsey Graham's politics but I will say this, there was a time we agreed on something.

Both this humble blogger and Sen. Graham agreed that Donald J. Trump was a lying, petulant, bullying, unintelligent, sociopathic, dishonorable, treasonous, gutless, moronic, heartless, soulless, slimy, loathsome, vile, incompetent, psychotic, crooked, disgusting, reprehensible, revolting, horrible, malicious, obnoxious, hateful, narcissistic, small-minded, despicable god damn, motherfucking piece of shit.

In 2015, Sen. Lindsey Graham saw Trump for who he was,  calling him out as a hate mongering con man who was a destructive force for the Republican Party and the nation as a whole, completely "unfit for office".  

Lindsey voiced a very clear and cogent assessment of Li'l Donnie. 

So I will repeat:  What the unholy fuck happened? 

Once Trump was in the White House, Sen. Lindsey Graham swallowed the poisoned MAGA Kool-Aid HARD and became Trump's most vociferous, vocal defender.  

Lindsey would get all apoplectic with red faced, white knuckled rage against those he perceive as enemies of his dearly beloved der Führer.

Like when the immensely unqualified Brett Kavanaugh was nominated for the Supreme Court and was being accused of sexual assault, Sen. Lindsay Graham leapt into the fray, his facing turning red, veins throbbing with rage, literally screaming  at the Democrats, ““This is the most unethical sham since I’ve been in politics. And if you really wanted to know the truth, you sure as hell wouldn’t have done what you’ve done to this guy. What you want to do is destroy this guy's life. To hold this seat open and hope you win in 2020. ... Boy, y'all want power. God, I hope you never get it!"

As I said before, Lindsey was always such a drama queen.

Sen. Lindsey Graham did seem to reclaim his backbone in the wake of the January 6th insurrection, disavowing Trump with "I have had enough."

Within weeks, a smiling and supportive Graham was playing golf with Trump at Mar-a-Lago.  Well, THAT didn't last long. 

Later, the obsequieous toady tried to tell us "I have had enough" did not mean what we thought it meant.  He claimed the statement referred to the election certification being completed and NOT to his relationship with the insurrection leading Donald Trump.    

When Trump was indicted for various crimes in 2023, Lindsey went on TV almost in TEARS (grown man, tears running down his face!) BEGGING people to send money to help his billionaire friend save himself from these gross injustices.  

Total. Drama. Queen.

For all his over the top passionate defenses of Donald Trump and his agenda, Lindsey Graham never seem to quite earn the love of der Führer.

For example, at a rally in South Carolina in 2023,  Trump called Graham "a progressive who helps me get liberal votes" which got the Senator booed at that rally.  Given Graham's super conservative, hawkish (the man always did love himself a good ol' war), calling him "a progressive who helps me get liberal votes" seems a very odd assessement. 

Unless,as I speculated in 2023, that was Li'l Donnie's coded way of saying he thinks (or knows) Lindsey Graham was gay.

Hey, the man is dead now so can we confirm: Was Lindsey Graham gay?

As I write this, we don't know. It really shouldn't matter but I guess when you're a Senator from a very deeply conservative (i.e., racist, homophobic) state like South Carolina, you keep a little thing like being gay under wraps.

You know, it's probably inappropriate for me to speculate. A person's sexual orientation is a personal matter and if someone wants to come out or it keep it quiet, that's their business. 

And if Lindsey was gay, I'm not sure the LGBTQIA+ community would've wanted him.  

Lindsey's record as a Senator was littered with votes against the LGBTQIA+ community.   

Again, I ask, What the unholy fuck happened? 

One should not speak ill of the dead but fuck it, I will.

There may have been a time I might have respected Graham as a man of integrity but over the years, he did so much to undermine that perception.  His alleged "integrity" was on sale to the highest bidder. 

Sen.Lindsey Graham will be remembered as a feckless coward who sought power for power's sake and drove American politics into a cesspool of cruelty, shame and corruption.

And that is what the unholy fuck happened! 

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Speaking of cruelty, shame and corruption, what the fuck did Li'l Donnie do last week?

Let's find out together with a post in about 3 hours with help from a guest presenter.   

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Star Trekking: Crossover Fun - TOS on TNG

Welcome back to Star Trekking, my blog's regularly scheduled outpost for my Star Trek fandom.

For several weeks, I did a look back at Star Trek: The Next Generation. 

Then I focused on Star Trek, the Original Series.  

The theme for today's post: 

"When characters from Star Trek, the Original Series appeared on Star Trek: The Next Generation".   

Which seems a bit clunky. Let's try instead:

"Crossover Fun: TOS on TNG"

I will admit, I am grossly overpromising when I use the word "fun".

The only way to begin is at the beginning so let's begin there.

The TNG pilot "Encounter at Farpoint" features a scene where Data has to escort a very old, cantankerous medical officer turned Admiral to the shutle bay because the Admiral doesn't like transporters. 

The Admiral is unnamed in the script but since he's played by DeForrest Kelley, you know it, I know it, it's Dr. "Bones" McCoy.

MCCOY: Have you got some reason you want my atoms scattered all over space, boy? 

DATA: No sir. But at your age, sir, I thought you shouldn't have to put up with the time and trouble of a shuttlecraft.

MCCOY: Hold it right there, boy.

DATA: Sir?

MCCOY: What about my age?

DATA: Sorry, sir. If that subject troubles you

MCCOY: Troubles me? What's so damned troubling about not having died? How old do you think I am?

DATA: One hundred thirty seven years, Admiral, according to Starfleet records.

MCCOY: Explain how you remember that so exactly.

DATA: I remember every fact I am exposed to, sir.

MCCOY: I don't see any points on your ears, boy, but you sound like a Vulcan.

DATA: No, sir. I'm an android.

MCCOY: Almost as bad.

DATA: I thought it was generally accepted, sir, that Vulcans are an advanced and most honourable race.

MCCOY: They are, they are. And damned annoying at times.

DATA: Yes, sir.

MCCOY: Well, this is a new ship, but she's got the right name. Now you remember that, you hear.

DATA: I will, sir.

MCCOY: You treat her like a lady, and she'll always bring you home.

The scene is totally extraneous and shoehorned into the story with all the subtlety of a forklift but...

But it's a beautiful scene that gives this crew of interlopers that dare calls itself "Star Trek" some credibility.

The next TOS character to appear on TNG was Spock....

Excuse me, Spock's dad. In the 3rd season episode "Sarek", the venerated ambassador from Vulcan has arrived on the Enterprise to mediate a peace treaty between two warring alien races who will only deal with Sarek.

Why only Sarek? Because the plot requires it. 

Mark Lenard had appeared as Sarek on TOS in the episode "Journey to Babel" and had reprised the role for the Star Trek movies.   

By the 24th century era of TNG, Sarek is pushing 200 years old but that's OK, Vulcans live a long time.  But even they have their limits.  

Sarek has a condition called Bendi Syndrome, a Vulcan version of Alzheimer's, which causes a loss of emotional control. And given the Vulcans have telepathic abilities, that loss of control is bleeding out and affecting the crew. 

Tempers flare, people bitch out each other, a brawl breaks out on 10 Forward and Beverly slaps Wesley.

I repeat: Beverly. SLAPS. Wesley.

CRUSHER: And then I just slapped him. Really hard. I slapped Wesley.

TROI: Do you know why you did it?

CRUSHER: I felt a rising demand from Star Trek fandom. I've never hit my son in his life.

Sarek's health is declining and taking the ship down with him. But there is that pesky peace treaty negotiation that the plot demands only Sarek can conduct.

The solution: a mind meld between Sarek and Capt. Picard.  

Sarek will regain a modicum of control from Picard while the captain takes on 200+ years of repressed emotion.

Sarek enters the bridge.  

SAREK: Number One, please inform the Legaran delegation that Sarek of Vulcan is on his way to welcome them.

RIKER: Yes, Ambassador.

RIKER: I take it the mind-meld was a success?

SAREK: Yes. All went as planned.

RIKER: Is Captain Picard all right?

SAREK: Don't worry, Number One.

RIKER: And the Ambassador?

SAREK: I am myself again. It has been a long time.

A comment about Mark Lenard who does such a great job here folding Patrick Stewart into his performance. Sarek may be himself again but he's calling Riker "Number One" showing Picard is rattling around in there.

Not to be outdone in the acting department, Patrick Stewart is calling up all his Shakespearean know how as Picard is pounded by waves of two centuries worth of repressed emotions.  Dr. Beverly Crusher is there to monitor Picard's health during the Mind Meld as well as to brush away his tears and hold him.  

PICARD: No! It is wrong. It is wrong! A lifetime of discipline washed away, and in its place bedlam. Bedlam! I am so old. There is nothing left but dry bones and dead friends. Tired, oh so tired. 

No! This weakness disgusts me! I hate it! Where is my logic? I am betrayed by desires. I want to feel. I want to feel everything. But I am a Vulcan. I must feel nothing. Give me back my control. 

Perrin. Amanda. I wanted to give you so much more. I wanted to show you such tenderness. But that is not our way. 

Spock, Amanda, did you know? Perrin, can you know how much I love you? I do love you!

The peace conference is successful as Sarek take his leave from the Enterprise.

SAREK: I will take my leave of you now, Captain. I do not think we shall meet again.

PICARD: I hope you are wrong, Ambassador.

SAREK: We shall always retain the best part of the other inside us.

PICARD: I believe I have the best part of that bargain, Ambassador. Peace and long life.

SAREK: Live long and prosper.

Sarek and Picard will meet again as we move to our next episode with a TOS guest star, the 2 part "Unification" which brings us Spock.

For real this time.

The Federation is concerned that Ambassador Spock seems to have hightailed it to the Romulan Empire and has been spotted on Romulus. 

To get some insight to what Spock might be up to, Picard goes to Vulcan to visit Sarek. But the Bendi Syndrome has gotten worse and Sarek is eratic and unfocused.  But in a brief moment of lucidity, he imparts some information.

SAREK: I recall Spock coming to me with optimism about a continuing dialogue with the Romulans. I told him it was illogical to maintain such an expectation. Spock was always so impressionable. This Romulan, Pardek, had no support at home. Of course, in the end I was proven correct. I gave Spock the benefit of experience, of logic. He never listened. Never listened.

Later in the episode, we will learn that Sarek has died.

This episode is almost as bad as a classic Doctor Who story for all the padding to make sure this hour long story can fit into two installments.  

But that padding does produce some fun moments.

Riker flirting with a 4 armed piano player in an alien bar.

Worf sings Klingon opera. 

Disguised as Romulans, Picard and Data take a cloaked Klingon ship to Romulus to suss out what is what. 

And if you're in this for Spock, he does show up in the literal last second of part 1.

In part 2, we get more time with Leonard Nimoy as Spock. Who is not happy that the Federation sent someone to get him.

PICARD: And I will not return without a full explanation. Ambassador, with great respect for all that you've achieved on behalf of the Federation, this sort of cowboy diplomacy will not easily be tolerated any more.

SPOCK: Cowboy diplomacy?

Spock is looking into a growing movement on Romulus that is tired of the endless wars and seeking to reunite with their ancestral home, Vulcan.

PICARD: Why would you not bring something so important to the attention of your own people or the Federation?

SPOCK: A personal decision, Captain. Perhaps you are aware of the small role I played in the overture to peace with the Klingons.

PICARD: History is aware of the role you played, Ambassador.

SPOCK: Not entirely. It was I who committed Captain Kirk to that peace mission, and I who had to bear the responsibility for the consequences to him and his crew. Quite simply, I am unwilling to risk anyone's life but my own on this occasion. So I ask you respect my wishes and leave.

PICARD: Ambassador, your logic escapes me. If I didn't know better, I would say that your judgment is influenced by your emotions.

SPOCK: You speak as my father would if he were here, Picard.

PICARD: I speak as a Starfleet officer, and I cannot ignore the risks to you.

SPOCK: I was involved with cowboy diplomacy, as you describe it, long before you were born.

PICARD: Nevertheless, sir, I'm not prepared to leave until your affairs are completed.

SPOCK: In your own way, you are as stubborn as another Captain of the Enterprise I once knew.

PICARD: Then I'm in good company, sir.

For more about those "consquences to Kirk and his crew, see Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.  

"Unification" was designed as a tie in to that film as well as a celebration of Star Trek's 25th anniversary.  

It seems there is a new Proconsul naned Neral who is in charge now and is a bit of a progressive and open to new ways of thinking, such as building a bridge to the Vulcans.

If you don't trust 'im, trust your gut. He's up to shit.

While Spock is hopeful for the reunification movement, he's wary of Neral.

While doing some technobabble to hack the Romulan information net, Spock and Data have a very enlightening conversation.

SPOCK: He intrigues me, this Picard.

DATA: In what manner, sir?

SPOCK: Remarkably analytical and dispassionate, for a human. I understand why my father chose to mind-meld with him. There's almost a Vulcan quality to the man.

DATA: Interesting. I have not considered that. And Captain Picard has been a role model in my quest to be more human.

SPOCK: More human?

DATA: Yes, Ambassador.

SPOCK: Fascinating. You have an efficient intellect, superior physical skills and no emotional impediments. There are Vulcans who aspire all their lives to achieve what you've been given by design.

DATA: You are half human.

SPOCK: Yes.

DATA: Yet you have chosen a Vulcan way of life.

SPOCK: I have.

DATA: In effect, you have abandoned what I have sought all my life.

SPOCK: I believe I have isolated the twenty ninth cipher access code. I shall attempt to access the Proconsul's files.

DATA: Ambassador Spock, may I ask a personal question?

SPOCK: Please.

DATA: As you examine your life, do you find you have missed your humanity?

SPOCK: I have no regrets.

DATA: No regrets. That is a human expression.

SPOCK: Yes. Fascinating.

It turns out the Romulans do want to have a new relationship with Vulcan... as conquerors.  Neral is working with Sela* on a whole deal to invade Vulcan.

*Sela is played by Denise Crosby who was Tasha Yar on the first season of TNG.  Tasha died in season 1 but came back for an episode in season 3 and then went back in time due to some space/time wibbly wobbly and had a child with a Romulan and...it's just a whole thing.  Just accept it for now. 

Anyway, Spock, Picard and Data foil the whole plan.

Spock does a Vulcan nerve pinch? Yay! 

Data's a quick study and does one too! 

Spock is impressed.

The Romulan plot exposed and halted, it's time to leave. But...

SPOCK: Captain, I will not be coming with you.

PICARD: Ambassador

SPOCK: The reason for my coming here has never been more clear. The union of Vulcan and the Romulan people will not be achieved by politics or by diplomacy, but it will be achieved. The answer has been here before us all along. An inexorable evolution toward a Vulcan philosophy has already begun. Like the first Vulcans, these people are struggling to a new enlightenment. It may take decades, even centuries for them to reach it, but they will reach it. And I must help.

PICARD: I have learned it is useless to argue with you once your mind is set.

SPOCK: Not at all, Captain. I have found our arguments quite useful. Almost as useful as those I had with my father.

PICARD: Would it surprise you to learn that he found them equally valuable?

SPOCK: Ironically, you may know Sarek better than his own son does. My father and I never chose to meld.

PICARD: I offer you the chance to touch what he shared with me.

(and we close on Spock initiating a mind-meld with Picard)

"Unification" is a bit talky and plodding as it lurches forward to fill a 2 episode commitment with a plot riddled with more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese but it is filled with some clever character moments and Spock is used effectively. Leonard Nimoy is as always excellent in this role.

OK, this post has gone on too long and I've yet to hit the next TNG episode with a TOS character.

"Relics" gives us the return of Capt. James Montgomery Scott, you know 'im, you love 'im, the best damn engineer in Starfleet, Scotty! 

I hate to give this episode short shrift because James Doohan is wonderful as a man who is still remarkably clever but also sadly out of his time, struggling for relevance.

I would love to explore such scenes like the one with Data in Ten Forward finding Scotty something to drink...

DATA: It is... green.

But I'm going to focus on one, where Scotty and Picard sit on the holodeck created bridge of the TOS Enterprise.

COMPUTER: Please enter programme.

SCOTT: The android at the bar said you could show me my old ship. Let me see it.

COMPUTER: Insufficient data. Please specify parameters.

SCOTT: The Enterprise. Show me the Bridge of the Enterprise, you chattering piece of...

COMPUTER: There have been five Federation ships with that name. Please specify by registry number.

SCOTT: NCC One Seven Oh One. No bloody A, B, C, or D.

COMPUTER: Programme complete. Enter when ready.

The bridge set was recreated using some green screen trickery and some practical effects where a fan had built his own replica of the original Enterprise bridge set.  

It's a squeeable fanboy moment to see Picard on the bridge of the TOS Enterprise as the captain shares a drink with Scotty.

 PICARD: This is your Enterprise?

SCOTT: She was the first ship I ever served on as Chief Engineer. You know, I served aboard eleven ships. Freighters, cruisers, starships, but this is the only one I think of. The only one I miss.

PICARD: The first ship I ever served aboard as Captain was called the Stargazer. It was an overworked, underpowered vessel, always on the verge of flying apart at the seams. In every measurable sense, my Enterprise is far superior. But there are times when I would give almost anything to command the Stargazer again.

SCOTT: It's like the first time you fall in love. You don't ever love a woman quite like that again. Well, to the Enterprise and the Stargazer. Old girlfriends we'll never meet again.

There's some great moments with Scotty and Geordi LaForge as two gearheads who don't quite mesh until....

In the interest of time, I'm not going into details but I would posit that of all the TNG episodes with TOS characters, I think "Relics" is my favorite.  

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Next time on Star Trekking:

How close did Star Trek wind up crossing over with Doctor Who.

And coming up in a couple of weeks, the return of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds.

Live long and prosper, y'all.  

Thanks again to Chrissie's Transcripts Site for the script exerpts.