One hour from now, the radio landscape of the Greensboro Triad area will fundementally change.
Today is the last day on the air for Chris Demm at WKRR 92.3 FM, Rock 92.
One half of the iconic radio duo known as the 2 Guys Named Chris has decided to call it a day and retire after 3 decades at Rock 92.
Chris Demm publicly announced his retirement 2 months ago although Chris Kelly said Demm has told of his plans months before.
It is a rare thing for a radio disc jockey to go out on their own terms. Most radio careers end with a DJ signing off with a "see you tomorrow", then getting called into the program director's office and escorted out the door.
Working in radio has never been an easy business. And it's less so now if an industry that has been rocked by technological changes and cultural shifts.
It was recently announced that CBS News Radio, in operation for nearly a century, will cease to be as of May 22, 2026. This cancellation is being led by the Trump aligned CBS news director Bari Weiss and the Trump supporting bean counters at Paramount/Skydance.
Casting this decision as some kind of politically partisan action is tempting but the reality is radio ain't what it used to be. Geez, I don't think I realized CBS Radio was even still a thing until I heard that it would no longer be a thing.
But back to more local radio stuff....
For all it's success, 2 Guys Named Chris still could not escape the headwinds of radio's downward spiral. Just last year, 2GNC lost Dave Aiken when Rock 92's owners fired him in a cost cutting move.
One fears that Chris Demm saw a chance to retire when he can rather than hang on and be forced out by the inevitable heat death of the radio universe.
Boy, this post is taking a turn of the negative.
Let's try to accentuate some positivity.
Chris Demm is a classic old school rock 'n' roll DJ with a smooth delivery and a sharp wit. He also posssess a near encylopedic knowledge of rock 'n' roll trivia.
A big feature of 2GNC was the daily Put Up or Shut Up Rock 'n' Roll trivia game where listeners would match wits with the master. Once in a while, some listener would get lucky. But not often. This man knows his stuff.
Chris Demm has been the perfect counter to the hapless Chris Kelly. Much like the blog's banner says about myself, Kelly is trapped in a world he is not designed to cope with. Demm was there to provide an alternative perspective of someone with a slightly stronger grasp on making life work.
I have no idea what the show's branding will be once today's installment comes to an end.
1 Guy Named Chris?
God only knows how Chris Kelly will survive without Chris Demm to keep him out of trouble.
The lead up to Demm's retirement has been weird, part celebration, part mourning. It's as close to one can get to hearing their own funeral without being dead.
Former co-hosts Dave Aiken and Deidre James returned to the studio on Friday to pay homage to the departing Demm.
Below is a clip posted to You Tube of the start of Friday's show as Chris Kelly welcomes the return of Dave and Deidre.
2 Guys Named Chris has long been a favorite program of mine although I will admit I am part of the problem for traditional radio. As I work from home and do not commute to my job, I don't listen as often as I used to.
Chris Demm is a class act and while I am sorry to see him go, he has certainly earned his right to retirement and I am glad that unlike so many others in radio, he's getting to show himself out the door at the end of the day.
Good luck to Chris Demm in his retirement.
And good luck to Chris Kelly and Rock 92 as they move forward with the unthinkable reality of doing this without Chris Demm.
So I was playing Roku's Daily Trivia game when a question came up about a quirky New Zealand crime drama set in a town run by lesbians.
Well that has to be Deadloch and that was indeed the answer.
So why is a quirky New Zealand crime drama set in a town run by lesbians from 2023 coming up as a topic on my Roku Daily Trivia game?
Because 3 years later, Deadloch has dropped a 2nd season!
I did not know that was a thing!
I used to not be caught off guard by this stuff.
I also was blindsided by the debut of season 4 of Invincible as well. I knew it was coming but I didn't know it was coming NOW!
I will not be posting about Deadloch season 2 yet. I've got way too many things on my TV viewing plate right now.
I've haven't finished season 2 of Fallout yet.
I've got season 8 of Outlander.
Season 2 of Daredevil: Born Again begins tonight. (Jessica Jones is back! YAY!)
And of course season 4 of Invincible.
And lots of other television stuff that demands my attention.
Deadloch season 2 will have to wait a minute.
Now... on with the Touchbase!
Yep, I've dusted off the old Batman themed Touchbase graphic.
So Invincible is back for a 4th season and man, is life rough for Mark Grayson.
Some time has passed since the end of season 3 but the wounds from that time have not yet healed. The attack by Angstrom's army of multiversal Invincible variants followed by the assault by the Viltrumite warrior known as Conquest has left massive property damage and many lives lost, including several of Earth's heroes.
Invincible wants to help but he's overwhelmed by guilt for all that Earth has suffered in these epic battles.
Losses that hit very close to home when Conquest savagely beats and kills Atom Eve aka Samantha, Mark's girlfriend.
Only an unexpected glow up of Samantha's matter/energy powers brings her back to life.
Unfortunately, there's some weird shit going down with Samantha's Atom Eve powers with her energy to matter constructs melting into goo.
Meanwhile, Samantha's experience with death is not something her asshole father is willing to let Mark forget. As if Mark isn't already feeling the weight of that guilt.
Not to mention the sheer constant battle against a widening variety of super menaces that keeps Invincible busy for ever damn minute of every damn day.
Then just to make matters even more exhausting, two seperate super menaces strike simultaneously.
Alien warrior Universa has come to steal energy from Earth to save her planet. It's an epic struggle as Invincible and Atom Eve try to stop Universa's energy theft from sending a nuclear power plant into meltdown. With Samantha's powers shorting out, it's up to a well placed punch from Atom Eve to finally put Universa down.
AND there is the horror of the sequids who are possessing humans in an ever widening circle that will encompass the whole world if not put in check. Cecil Stedman and the Guardians of the Globe have the sequids contained to a city block but their containment will not hold for long.
Mark Grayson arrives after stopping Universa to help the Guardians and finds the central human controlling the sequid hive mind.
If you've read enough comics, you know what usually happens here is when our hero is faced with a choice to kill someone to stop some kind of threat, our hero will find some clever miracle solution to avoid that.
Invincible stops the sequids by killing the human in the center of the alien squids.
Well, just great. One more damn thing to plague Mark Grayson's conscience.
As I have said before about Invincible, do not let the bold bright colors of the animation fool you. This show goes hard and does not avoid the harsh consequences of super powers in an otherwise fragile, all too human world.
I suppose it's a reasonable expectation given the way this series works is that things will get worse before they get better.
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Andrea and I did not get to catch the whole show but the clips we've seen of Saturday Night Live UK have been enjoyable and I think genuinely funny.
Here is the cold open where Prime Minister Keir Starmer really dreads calling Donald Trump.
SNL USA alum Tina Fey was the guest host who was as funny and charming as ever.
We think that Saturday Night Live UK has gotten off to a pretty good start.
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News came down yesterday that Paramount has cancelled Star Trek: Starfleet Academy. There will be no more seasons after season 2.
Well, I think this sucks AND blows.
I will pontificate on this some more in this weekend's Star Trekking post.
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I want to make note of a couple of celebrity passings.
Nicholas Brendan who played Xander on Buffy the Vampire Slayer died last week at age 54. Xander was the Jimmy Olsen to Buffy Summers and it was a thankless role but Brendan made the most of it with a character that was genuinely helpful and a good friend to the Scooby gang.
Brendan had to deal with struggles involving his mental health and substance abuse but worked really hard to keep his life on track. Rest in peace, Nicholas.
And Chuck Norris died last week at age 86. Back in the 1990's, visiting my parents on a Saturday meant I got to watch Walker, Texas Ranger. Not HAD to watch. Got to! The honor was mine, Mr. Norris.
Yeah, the dialogue was stilted and the acting was stiff but nobody came to this show for that. We came to watch Chuck Norris kick ass.
Even if the bad guys were too dumb to realize they were doomed. I remember this one line for an episode where Walker and his team have the bad guys surrounded and one of them calls out, "You'll never take us alive <pause> Texas Ranger!"
That line has stuck with me for years.
Death did not claim Chuck Norris. Norris stared down Death who decided to call it a draw.
Rest well <pause> Texas Ranger!
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That is that for this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase.
Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.
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Enough with television. Next post up: what's going on in the world of radio.
The snivelling syncophants to support Donald Trump try to propogate the myth that der Führer is some kind of strategic genius playing 4D Chess.
4D Chess?!?! This goddam fucking moron isn't even playing checkers!
As anyone can see who is even remotely paying attention, Li'l Donnie is an ill tempered impulsive brat who will use one single answer to solve whatever one single problem is in front of him at any one single time.
Problem: Iran is pissing off Donald Trump.
Solution: Trump orders military to bomb the shit out of Iran.
Outcome: Iran wets it pants and surrenders.
Problem solved.
Trump smirks with the self satisfied glee of a toddler who just knocked over a bee hive during his mother's garden party.
Well, that was simple! Why didn't any President do that before?
No President did it before becaue it is NOT that simple.
Problem: Iran is pissing off Donald Trump.
Solution: Trump orders military to bomb the shit out of Iran.
Outcome: Iran fucks with the Strait of Hormuz.
Problems created.
Iran has turned the Strait of Hormuz into the Strait of Horrors and yes, that is quite a problem.
20% of the world's oil and natural gas supply moves through the Strait of Hormuz and Iran is sitting right there by the Strait where it can launch mines, missiles and drones with impunity.
Reports are that Li'l Donnie was told that Iran was likely to do this very thing in response to any military strikes by the United States.
der Führer did not believe that Iran was going to do this as he was committed to his one problem/one solution/one outcome plan.
Problem: Iran is pissing off Donald Trump.
Solution: Trump orders military to bomb the shit out of Iran.
Outcome: Iran wets it pants and surrenders.
Problem solved.
Li'l Donnie was not prepared that the bees he unleashed from the beehive could come back to sting him.
Holy shit! The Strait of Hormuz is all jammed up and everybody's bitching about the price of gas including the mouth breathing rednecks who fucking voted for him in the first place.
So Li'l Donnie appeals to NATO to help.
Yeah, NATO, the same group of nations that Donald Trump has repeatedly bullied, insulted and threatened for years.
der Führer thinks it's going to work this way.
Problem: MAGA is pissed over gas prices.
Solution: Trump demands NATO go to the Strait of Hormuz.
Outcome: NATO wets itself and sends ships.
Problem solved.
Except....
Problem: MAGA is pissed over gas prices.
Solution: Trump demands NATO go to the Strait of Hormuz.
Outcome: NATO says Fuck Off!
Problems Trump created persist.
Gee who woulda thunk that years of insults and abuse, of constand bullying would make NATO and it's member nations reluctant to commit resources to solve a problem Trump created?
Of course Li'l Donnie is pissed off that NATO did not immediately capitulate to his demands. Here's what he said about that.
"Without the U.S.A., NATO IS A PAPER TIGER! They didn’t want to join the fight to stop a Nuclear Powered Iran. Now that fight is Militarily WON, with very little danger for them, they complain about the high oil prices they are forced to pay, but don’t want to help open the Strait of Hormuz, a simple military maneuver that is the single reason for the high oil prices. So easy for them to do, with so little risk. COWARDS, and we will REMEMBER!"
Real smooth, Donnie. That'll win 'em over.
Easy? Little risk? So why don't you do it, Donnie?
Because...
To unclog this toilet at the Strait of Hormuz will require a very large military presence in terms of ships, planes and yes, even soldiers on the ground to get ships through the Strait without being attacked by Iran.
The member nations of NATO have offered assistance to restore order to the Strait of Hormuz if the United States will stop bombing the shit out of Iran which is causing Iran to jam up the frickin' Strait in the first place.
But that will mess up Donald Trump's clever strategy.
Problem: Iran is pissing off Donald Trump.
Solution: Trump orders military to bomb the shit out of Iran.
Outcome: Iran wets it pants and surrenders.
Problem solved.
Which several weeks into this god awful mess, der Führer still thinks is going to work.
Or has worked? Or is working?
Jesus, this guy.....
Last week, der Führer claimed he had the support of a former President who allegedly told Li'l Donnie that he wished he had done what Trump done did do.
The offices of all four living ex-Presidents were contacted and all four denied that any of them has talked to this motherfucker.
Did Donnie not think this claim could be checked?
Meanwhile, Donnie wrote this on Friday, “We are getting very close to meeting our objectives as we consider winding down our great Military efforts in the Middle East.”
So you are NOT shipping Marines over to the region for a potential ground offensive?
So you will NOT need that $200 billion in funding for the Iran war that you're asking Congress to approve?
When asked if she would vote for the $200 billion appropriation, Rep. Lauren Bolbert said hell no!
Bolbert is hard core MAGA America First and former Trump loyalist. Until LI'l Donnie fucked her over about that Epstein Files.
Damn it! Is that still a thing?
Problem: Epstein files still a thing?
Solution: Trump remembers we have nukes!
Outcome: Planet destroyed
Well, that should about do it for the Epstein files.
Mueller was a decorated American war hero and a director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Over the course of his career, Mueller took on the brutal autocratic Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega, the Gambino crime family boss John Gotti, and the terrorists behind the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland.
Regarding Robert Mueller's military service in Vietnam, he had a knee problem that would've kept him out of the war but he chose to serve anyway.
Generally regarded as a professional and dedicated public servant, Robert Mueller was nearly universally regarded as a good and honorable man.
Why only "nearly"?
Well, there is that matter of Mueller being the point man for the investigation into possible collusion between Russia and Donald Trump's campaign.
So, gee, how did Li'l Donnie Trump handle news of the passing of Robert Mueller?
Like this:
“Robert Mueller just died. Good, I’m glad he’s dead. He can no longer hurt innocent people!”
No, I am not paraphrasing. The man who currently holds the title of President of the United States said of an American citizen,"I'm glad he's dead."
Regarding the investigation into reported shenanigans between Trump's team and the Russians:
Robert Mueller did not ask for or start this investigation. It was assigned to him.
Mueller never said anything bad about Donald Trump. In fact, he said nothing during the course of the nearly 2 year investigation with no leaks and no public comments. Mueller ran a tight ship and just hunkered down to follow the facts wherever they would lead.
While the investigation did lead to some people in Trump's orbit facing criminal charges and doing some jail time, Donald himself remain untouched.
Click here and here for my humble and admiittedly limited understanding of Mueller's probe.
Long story made short:
Robert Mueller looked around.
Robert Mueller found nothing.
Robert Mueller got on with his life.
A few years ago, Mueller was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease which he had to struggle with until he died on Friday.
Meanwhile, widdle Commander Bone Spurs is not one to let a petty grievance slide.
I think it bears repeating what Trump said.
“Robert Mueller just died. Good, I’m glad he’s dead. He can no longer hurt innocent people!”
Oddly enough, I think I owe Donald Trump a debt of gratitude.
I've wondered how exactly I will articulate my response when this goddam motherfucker finally dies and Li' Donnie his own damn self has given me the words to express myself.
So on that blessed day when that last McDonald's cheeseburger tightens it's grip on his calcified heart and the Devil finally calls in on his deal, I know just what I will say:
“Donald Trump just died. Good, I’m glad he’s dead. He can no longer hurt innocent people!”
Thank you, Donald, for the gift of your words.
When you die, I will just cut 'n' paste that into a blog post and get on with my life.
We're Star Trekking Across the Universe! Always Going Forward 'Cause We Cannot Find Reverse!
Welcome to Star Trekking, my blog space dedicated to Star Trek fandom!
Today's post, we're going to look at the season one finale of Star Trek: Starfleet Academy.
Paul Giamatti's Nus Braka is up to shit. Surrounding the Federation with mines armed with omega-47 particles, Brakka and his gang of Venari Ral thugs have the Federation boxed in.
A single Omega-47 particle mine can shred subspace for lights years in every direction.
And Braka has hundreds of them.
And the only Federation ship outside that zone of capitivity is the Athena.
The ship only has 3 occupants: Capt. Nahla Ake, Commander Jett Reno and the Doctor.*
*No, Doctor Who fans, not THAT Doctor. I mean the sentient holographic doctor played by Robert Picardo.
Well 3 occupants officially. Also on board for various reasons of plot are cadets:
Darem
He began the series as the cocky self assured dude who just assumes he's going to be a Captain some day by virtue of his social and political status. By season's end, we've come to know Darem a bit better and he's had the cockiness knocked out of him of few times.
Genesis Lythe
Like Darem, Genesis has a family pedigree that seems to mark for greatness. Unlike Darem, that background is less an asset and more an obstacle. She is compelled to earn her right to the Captain's chair.
She actually has the conn and sits in the Athena's Captain chair and has the most unique reaction to the moment ever in Star Trek: "Wait! I think I need to pee."
Jay-Den
Star Trek's first gay Klingon.
Or second if you count William Campell's Koloth from "The Trouble With Tribbles".
Jay-Den has come far from his initial recalcitrance from speaking up and asserting himself. A unusual trait for a Klingon but his passion is less the way of the warrior and more of being a healer.
SAM
Our photonic lifeform had a very pronounced mid-season change to her status quo when her holo-matrix was damaged and she had to go back to her homeworld to be repaired where she spent 17 years living through an actual childhood and not the one programmed into her. (Time passes differently on her planet so the 17 years took a couple of weeks. And she was joined on her formative journey by the Doctor who became her Dad.)
Tarima
Our resident Betazoid has been through some shit this season. Unlike Next Gen's Deanna Troi who was half human and only empathic, Tarima has some super charged telepathic abilities even by the standards on Betazed. Which caused her a lot of grief and pain. And if she wasn't suffering enough, she had to put up with a relationship with Caleb Mir.
And speaking of which...
Caleb Mir
Caleb did not begin this series on a good start with me, his brooding mad on at the world routine was definitely not an endearing character trait. But the persistence of his Academy classmates to be his friend, damn it, wore down the rough edges of his brittle personality enough to make him if not likeable, then at least tolerable.
No such journey for Caleb's long lost mom, Anisha Mir. She's spent 15 years separated from her son and feeding the fires of her rage at the Federation that seperated them.
So imagine her surprise when she's reunited with Caleb (Yay!) with a group of Starfleet cadets in tow (oh hell no!).
Not content with holding power over both the Federation and the poor hapless worlds outside their border, Nus Braka wants to humiliate the Federation so he snatches both Capt. Nahla Ake and Anisha Mir off the Athena. He puts Nahla on trial for the crimes of the Federation and makes Anisha her jury.
Long story made short, the cadets on the Athena (along with Reno and the Doctor) science the shit out of a technobabble solution to take down the Omega-47 mines.
But not before no less than Caleb Mir has to make a speech to buy time for his friends to get their technobabble working. In front of an annoyed Nus Braka, a very proud Nahla Ake and a very confused Anisha, Caleb comes to the defense of the Federation and Starfleet.
Some comments about Oscar winners in the cast.
Holly Hunter has a very unique energy for a Star Trek command type person. Her Capt. Nahla Ake has a quirky sense of humor, a non-comformist attitude (she just can't seem to sit still in a chair) and an almost zen like wisdom. She can summon some grade A Starfleet Captain intensity as needed but Holly Hunter is crafting one of Star Trek's most distinctive characters. And I very much approve of her approach.
Paul Giamatti as Nus Braka approaches each scene like it's a honey glazed Easter ham and sometimes it can be a bit much. But there is no denying the heat Giamatti brings when Nus Braka is on screen. The word is that Giamatti will not be back for season 2 and I think that's a good thing. But maybe by season 3, we will have recovered enough for a return of Nus Braka.
And a note about our Emmy winning actor, Tatiana Maslany (Orphan Black, She-Hulk) who has a tough row to hoe as Anisha Mir. Her strident hatred of Starfleet and the Federation is completely understandable but she holds tight to that hatred even at the risk of her own safety and in defiance of her own eyes. She can clearly see that Nus Braka is a nut case loon with a self serving agenda but she still sides with him to find Capt. Ake guilty in his pathetic show trial? Still, points to Maslany for giving Anisha some nuance and empathy.
Side note on some legacy characters: The Doctor has survived the centuries since his time on Star Trek: Voyager and retains his flinty snark but has gained a lot in wisdom and compassion. His journey to becoming a father to SAM was a very compelling development in his character.
And Jett Reno from Star Trek: Discovery still amazes me as maybe one of the best characters in Star Trek with her wickedly sharp humor and her equally sharp insight into the human condition. Even in the desperate situation of the Athena being damaged and alone in space, Reno still manages to deftly turn the ongoing crises into teachable moments. It's a great way to get some scared kids to focus on not being scared and maybe learn something if they all survive this mess.
One last thing about a very distinctive "character" who is never seen, the Virtual Dean. Voiced by Stephen Colbert, the Dean provides clever details about life at the Academy with announcements about events, classes and other random stuff including the misadventures of the Talaxian furfly. "Students! Please be advised the Talaxian furfly is mating with itself. Does that seem normal to you?"
As was the case with Star Trek: Prodigy, I will admit that I don't think Star Trek: Starfleet Academy was developed with someone like me in mind but rather for a younger audience, to hopefully bring in fresh blood to the Star Trek franchise. Well, it may not have been created for me but I think ultimately, I really did enjoy this series.
Next week on Star Trekking, the Star Trek franchise stands at a crossroads with the current leadership of Alex Kurtzman and his Secret Hideout production company.
I post a look back on the Kurtzman era so far and what the future might hold.
Today's movie post is about an animated film that is warmly regardly here in the El household's Fortress of Ineptitude.
From 2004 (Oh God! Has it really been THAT long?), it's The Spongebob Squarepants Movie!
About a week or so ago, I was idly surfing around channels on the TV when I stumbled across The Spongebob Squarepants Movie and I was compelled to stop surfing.
Why should I maintain my search for compelling entertainment when I actually find it?
Why would I stop to watch The Spongebob Squarepants Movie? Because....
I'm a Goofy Goober!
You're Goofy Goober!!
We're ALL Goofy Goobers!!! YEAH!
So this post is not so much about the movie itself but how immenently quotable it is here at the Fortress of Ineptitude for me and my family.
Here are some lines from this movie that remain a part of our lexicon 2 decades later.
"It's lemon scented!"
Plankton: Oh Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs' success. The formula for the Krabby Patty... Ohhh... Then people would line up to eat at MY restaurant! Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet... from A to Y!
Karen the Computer: A to Y?
Plankton: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
Karen the Computer: What about Z?
Plankton: Z?
Karen the Computer: Z... The letter after Y...
Plankton: [searching thorugh the file cabinet] W, X, Y... Z. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said.
Karen the Computer: Oh, boy.
Plankton: [sees the plan] Oh. Ohhh... It's evil. It's diabolical. It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail!
Whenever analalyzing why something maybe a good idea, it's not uncommon around here to add "It's lemon scented!" to the list.
"BALD! BALD BALD! BALD! BALD! MY EYES!!!"
SpongeBob: Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
King Neptune: You don't understand. The crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And, uh, between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit.
SpongeBob: Oh, Your Majesty, I'm sure it's not that noticea...
[Sees Neptune's bald head]
SpongeBob: Bald! Bald! Bald!
Crowd: BALD! BALD BALD! BALD! BALD!
Fish: MY EYES!
King Neptune: All right, all right!
Whenever something actually is or merely perceived to be extremely bright or garish or otherwise hard to look at it, it is not unheard of for someone to exclaim "BALD! BALD BALD! BALD! BALD! MY EYES!"
"You just gotta believe.... in mermaid magic!"
To be fair, no one actually says this line in the movie but it is derived from this scene where the royal mermaid Mindy is trying to make a dejected Spongebob and Patrick feel better about themselves.
Mindy: Hey. It doesn't matter if you're kids. What's so wrong with being a kid, anyway? Kids rule! You don't need to be a man to do this! You just gotta believe in yourself! You just gotta believe! [Swims up into the sky, then comes back down]
SpongeBob: I believe.
Mindy: That's the spirit!
SpongeBob: I believe that... everybody I know is a goner! [he and Patrick begin crying hysterically]
Mindy: Come on, guys. [they don't stop] Guys... [they still don't stop] Guys? [they both spray tears to each other's mouths] Ew!
French Narrator: [a timecard says] Meanwhile... [and the French Narrator narrates it]
[SpongeBob and Patrick are now rocking and sucking their thumbs like babies.]
Mindy: Guys? [no answer] Oh, boy. Think, Mindy, think. [comes up with an idea] Yup, I guess you're right. [SpongeBob and Patrick look at her] A couple of kids could never survive this journey. [SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other and they cry again] That's why I guess I'll just have to turn you into men. [SpongeBob and Patrick stop crying]
SpongeBob: You can do that? How?
Mindy: With my mermaid magic.
Sometimes when I perform some mundance task, like standing up, due to my being old, being tired and/or I just hurt all over, I need to motivate myself and I will say, "You just gotta believe.... in mermaid magic!"
"Bigger boot!"
This scene is with Dennis the hitmanfish who has been hired by Plankton to stop Spongebob and Patrick from making it to Shell City.
SpongeBob: Wh-Wh-What are you gonna do to us?
Dennis: Plankton was *very* specific.
SpongeBob: Plankton?
Dennis: For some reason, he wanted me to step on ya.
Patrick: Step on us?
Dennis: Yeah! That way, you'll never find out that HE stole the crown!
[SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other]
Dennis: Uhh, perhaps I've said too much.
[extends spikes from the soles of his boots. SpongeBob and Patrick tremble in fear as Dennis positions his boot above them]
Patrick: That's a big boot.
Dennis: Don't worry. This'll only hurt a LOT!
[laughs]
Dennis: I love this job!
[Continues to laugh, only to be crushed by a bigger boot]
Patrick: Bigger boot!
This one doesn't come up a lot but occassionally when a problem around here gets worse, it is not uncommon for someone to declare "Bigger boot!"
"It's some kind of wall of psychic energy."
Almost any time I am looking through a window or through a glass, I will quote this line from Patrick.
Patrick: It's some kind of wall of psychic energy.
SpongeBob: No, Pat, it's a giant glass bowl.
"Or some other third thing!"
This one I use a lot right here on this blog.
It comes in handy when you want to have a list but you can only think of two things.
Two things do NOT make a list.
This line comes from this sequence near the end of the movie.
Plankton: I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid.
[laughing]
Plankton: A stupid kid!
SpongeBob: I guess you're right, Plankton.
[looks down]
SpongeBob: I am just a kid.
Plankton: Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kill...
SpongeBob: And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are.
Plankton: That's right. Okay, Neptune...
SpongeBob: And no amount of mermaid magic...
[Turns to Mindy]
SpongeBob: ... or managerial promotion...
[Turns to the frozen Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob: ... or some other third thing... can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.
"Or some other third thing" makes frequent appearances on this blog and in my daily discourse.
To be honest, sometimes I can think of a third thing but "or some other third thing" is just funnier.
There are other things that get referenced from The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. While travelling in the car and I end a sentence with word "road", Dean or Andrea will reference this bit from Patrick.
Patrick: Never mind the car, where's the road? [echoes] Road? Road? Road? [the echo turns out to be Patrick repeating in disbelief] Road, road, road, road, [SpongeBob stares at him] r... sorry.
And Andrea rarely passes up an opportunity to call me, of what is it she likes to call me?
Mr. Krabs (to Spongebob): Lad, I mean this in the nicest of ways, but there's a word for what you are, and that word is... now, let's see...
Lenny: Dork?
Mr. Krabs: No, wait, that's not right. Not a dork.
Pearl: A goofball?
Mr. Krabs: Closer, but no, no, no.
Fred: A ding-a-ling.
Jimmy: wingnut.
Mable: A Knucklehead McSpazzatron!
Yeah, that's the one! Knucklehead McSpazzatron!
And I love you too.
Now there other lines from the movie that might be equally memorable but I have few instances where I can incorporate "And I rode the Hasselhoff!" into everyday conversation.
And why isn't this a part of our daily mantra here at the Fortress of Ineptitude?
Everybody in the main area of the Thug Tug: [In unison] All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.
And Dean just reminded me of this line.
Squidward: You can't fool me! I listen to public radio!"
And no, you cannot fool me as I do indeed listen to public radio.
Like Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me.
Let's end this post with "Ocean Man" from the closing credits of The Spongebob Squarepants Movie.
That is that for this week's Movie Time!
Tomorrow, we go Star Trekking for the season finale of Star Trek: Starfleet Academy.
The first season has reached the end of the road... road... road... road....
So yesterday afternoon while I was at work, I decided to check in on Duke's opening game in the NCCA Men's Basketball Tournament.
The Duke Blue Devils are a #1 seed and they were playing a #16 seed, the Siena Saints.
Because I am a guy who does not know or even care much about sports, I really cannot handle the stress of a close game and much prefer whatever team I'm rooting for to engage in what I call a romp 'n' stomp.
Since Duke is a #1 seed and Siena is a #16, I expected a classic romp 'n' stomp.
What I found instead when I turned in at half time was Duke was DOWN by 11 points.
Duke was DOWN?!?! To THESE GUYS?!?!
Oh come on! This can NOT be happening!
Online there was a headline about the status of the game at half time: DUKE gets BURNT by SIENA!
You know, like the color, burnt sienna?
Some sports writer somewhere scored a once in a lifetime headline.
But would they be able to use that headline for the whole game?
Thankfully.... no.
Over the course of the 2nd half, Duke began playing more like what I expect from Duke but damn, it felt like like moving through proverbial molasses watching Duke overcome it's deficit and eventually pull ahead.
But it was no romp 'n' stomp!
Final score: 71 to 65.
What happened in the 1st half? Duke coach Jon Scheyer said, "I just got outcoached!"
I don't understand the intricate mechanics of basketball coaching. If I were to be plopped down in an arena somewhere and told to coach a team, my best advice would be "Put the ball through the hoop!"
Really, that's all I know.
Later in the evening, Andrea settled in to watch her beloved Carolina Tarheels play the VCU Rams.
Which was a good ol' fashioned romp 'n' stomp!
At one point, Carolina was leading by 19 points!
I was a bit jealous that Andrea was getting a romp 'n' stomp out of Carolina which is all I wanted out of Duke.
Carolina would eventually disavow me of that jealousy.
As VCU began to inch it's way out of the hole it was in and pushed the game to a tie, 75-75 and we're in overtime, folks!
Where VCU would go on to win, 82-78 in the largest 1st-round comeback in NCAA tournament history.
Even though I do not know or even care much about sports, I still thought that sucked.
Andrea who does care deeply about these things was prepared to commit Seppuku.
She was seriously bummed.
How is she today? Let's see....
Still in mourning, I see.
Which is why I am glad I do not know or care much about sports.
