Hi
there! Welcome to I’m So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the little blog that’s
gonna break up the big internets. I’ve Dave-El and I’m leading a revolution in
favor of apathy.
One
of my favorite topics on this blog is politics and what with the ongoing apocalyptic
clusterfuck known as the 2016 US Presidential Campaign, there’s been a lot to
talk about and more to the point to make fun of. A lot of that comes courtesy
of the Republicans which is pretty understandable when you’re top vote getter
is a narcissistic Oompa Loompa with hair that resembles a tufala tree from Dr. Seuss.
And his remaining competitors are a petulant baby in a lumpy man suit and a
generic white dude from a 1970s Sears catalog.
But
what, pray tell, is going on the other side of the midway in this election year
circus? What are the Democrats up to?
Well,
the Democrats are doing pretty much they always do: snatching defeat from the
jaws of victory.
Let’s
chat about Sen. Bernie Sanders for a moment. Ah, God bless Bernie with his one
rumpled suit, his mad scientist hair and his “I really don’t give a shit what
you think” persona. He brought a level of excitement to the Democratic race when
Hillary Clinton’s only challengers were… some other guys. I don’t care enough now
to look up their names which is more than I cared then when they were actually
running. Bernie was a wild card that energized voters, particularly young
people who are particularly tired of usual cast of cookie cutter candidates who
promised nothing of value and delivered even less. Bernie Sanders really took
off when Saturday Night Live got Larry David to portray the senator in debate
sketches.
Bernie
is loud and brash and unfiltered. In a way, he’s the Democrat Party’s version
of Donald Trump. But just like Trump, Sanders has a lot of big idea but with
little details how to make them a reality. He’s going to break up the big
banks. OK, how? Free college for everyone sounds great it’s still gotta be paid
for. How? People love the big ideas so much, they’re not asking the important
questions about how to get these ideas done.
And
like Donald, Bernie also doesn’t seem to know when to shut up. Early on, Bernie
was the progressive goad to Hillary’s left and that actually served a valuable function
for the Democratic campaign. As Clinton follows a more centrist perspective with
an eye towards the general election, Sanders gives voice to the more liberal positions
of the Democratic party and forces Clinton to address those points. However, as
Sanders has won several primaries and caucuses, perhaps more than anyone had
anticipated, Sanders has been more heated and hostile towards Clinton. It’s
like Sanders is becoming more obsessed with beating Clinton than just making
sure the issues that are important to him and his supporters are heard. For a
candidate who made a big deal about talking about the issues and only the
issues, he’s made some harsh comments about Clinton’s character and competence.
Bernie is making this race personal.
Wednesday, the Sanders campaign announced several layoffs of campaign staff. In the wake of the last two weeks of losses, it doesn't bode well for Bernie. His campaign manager said it was a reasonable step to take as the campaign was staffed to cover 50 states and there are only 10 left. But cutting staff at this stage does not suggest a positive outlook for a post-primary, general election effort.
Bernie
Sanders entered into the hearts and minds of Americans as the cranky curmudgeon
standing solitary against the forces of big business and big money that he
sees destroying America. But now he seems less endearingly cranky and more brutally bitter. It’s not
an endearing trait at all. And it does nothing but hurt Bernie’s rep with his
followers and fractures any sort of unity the party will need to get behind the
eventual Democratic nominee.
Which
will be Hillary Clinton but damn, she’s not exactly in the driver’s seat in the
march to the Democratic convention this summer. For a person who professes to
not be a polished politician like her husband, Hillary Clinton contorts herself
like a pretzel to fit the needs of the moment, just like a politician. She will,
for example, effect a Southern accent when she goes down south. She will cop to
carrying hot sauce in her purse when she appears on a black radio station
program. She will answer a question with a paragraph when a single word will
do. She’s native New Yorker, at least ever since she and Bill bought a home
back in 2000 when she decided that being a Senator from New York would be cool.
She’s also a good ol’ Arkansas girl because her husband was Governor there. Hillary
Clinton is whoever she needs to be. No wonder she has trouble getting people to
trust her. Seriously, her unfavorable ratings are second only to Donald Trump.
If she does wind up facing Trump in the general election, the choice will come
down to whoever we fucking can’t stand the least.
And
the thing is, I think it’s a shame, really, that Hillary Clinton cannot seem to
get control of her image, her standing with the American people any better than
she has. The Onion had an amusing headline about Clinton that kind of sums her
problem: Clinton, Female US Senator and Secretary of State, Told She Needs To
Be More Inspiring To Women. On paper, Hillary Clinton should be amazing. Hell,
even Marco Rubio acknowledged her record in public service during a Republican
debate. (Yeah, he got booed for saying a nice thing about Hillary and Marco isn’t
running for President anymore.) In practice, Hillary seems to be at a
disadvantage. Maybe she isn’t the polished campaigner. Maybe she’s trying too
hard to be too many things to too many people. Maybe she’s straddling too many
fences to please too wide an audience.
None
of the points made in the last two paragraphs are unique to Hillary Clinton.
Lots of other politicians have tried to act down home in the country and slick
in the city. Of course, almost all of those politicians were male. Is that the
problem here? Is Hillary Clinton being held to a different, even higher
standard, because she is a woman? If so, then America needs to grow up and accept
that a woman can be as shallow a suck up prick as any male politician.
I
think I’ve done enough damage around here today. I’ll be back with another new
post tomorrow. Until then, remember to be good to one another.
Elizabeth Warren 
