It's another edition of This (Non) Sporting Life, a blog post about sports by a guy who knows very little about sports.
This past Sunday was Super Bowl LVII and I went into this thing with so few fucks to give about who was in it and who I thought should win.
I suppose I could've pulled for the Philadephia Eagles in that I kind of sort of have a connection to the Eagles through my job. I knew exactly jack squat about the team's stats and skills but I am aware of the reputation of the Eagles fans.
They are... oh, how can I put this politely?
...
I can't.
Eagles fans are assholes.
How much are they assholes? They booed a guy winning a humanitarian award.
Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott was on hand to receive the Walter Payton Man of the Year award which recognizes NFL players for doing good stuff off the field. The award was for Dak Prescott being a nice guy who does nice things for people when...
Oh fuck that, said the fans from Philly who greeted this player from their hated rivals the Dallas Cowboys with "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
So fuck it! I'm pulling for Kansas City.
In the pre-game, Sheryl Lee Ralph sang "Life Every Voice and Sing" and Lauren Bolbert and everyone else in MAGA-land lost their god damn minds.
By the way, Andrea and I absconded from the Fortress of Ineptitude to go see the Super Bowl at her father's house.
Now I don't know much about sports or even care about sports but have committed to seeing this damn game, I wanted to be at least aware and watching when big things happened.
I missed three touchdowns because Andrea's dad talked over them.
Anyway, the 2nd half ended with Kansas City down by 10 and quarterback Pat Mahomes with an injured ankle.
Then it was time for the half time show with Rihanna on stage for the first time in 5 years.
And MAGA-land lost it's fucking mind again.
Apparently the all red ensemble was Rihanna's effort to promote Satanism? Really?
Rihanna did not perform with any guest performers, surrounded by a army of dancers dressed in white like Oompa Loompas or spermazoa, take your pick. But Rihanna was not alone on her stage as she showed a baby bump. She's got another baby coming May.
Also, Rihanna's lip sync skills were kind of sketchy? Look we know these musical acts with their big production numbers are not singing live but damn, there were too many times when Rihanna did not have the mike anywhere near her face when she was singing.
That kinda messed up the magic for me, yo.
After the half time show, Kansas City fought it's way out of a deficit to the lead with Patrick Mahomes making a 26-yard run on that sore ankle. Philly pulled things to a tie but a field goal with mere seconds left to play secured Kansas City it's 2nd Super Bowl win.
OK, so never mind the game. What about the commercials?
Squarespace gave us an ad with multiple versions of Adam Driver. What more can anyone want but a multiplicity of a that sexy, sexy beast to make John Oliver happy?
Rakuten served up Alicia Silverstone as Cher Horowitz from the movie Clueless. Silverstone too old for high school? As if!
Dunkin' Donuts had Ben Affleck working the Dunkin drive-thru with a cameo from gal pal Jennifer Lopez. This spot had some old school vibes when David Letterman would work the drive thru at Taco Bell to fuck with people. I think the Dunkin spot was my favorite.
There may be some other important stuff to share from the Super Bowl but my father in law wouldn't stop talking to me and I missed some stuff.
The game itself was engaging with two equally matched teams paired up.
But I am glad that Kansas City won.
At least at this moment. When it comes to sports, my memory and attention are fleeting and...
And...
And who was playing what again?
Be good to one another and always try to be a good sport.
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BLOG BIDNESS
Taking a break on Thursday.
Back on Friday with Your Friday Video Link featuring Benedict Cumberbatch.
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