The Price Is Wrong Goes Wrong

OK, today's post is weird. 

It is a comedy sketch that came to me in a dream.

Seriously, I woke up Saturday morning with what follows fully formed in my head.  

I'm not saying the sketch is fully formed (it could use some tighening up, etc, perhaps a better ending) but what you're about to read is pretty much verbatim what I found floating in my brain cells Saturday morning.

This... whateve it is... centers around the Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right and the two contestants are based on Saturday Night Live cast members Heidi Gardner and Marcello Hernandez.

Let's get on with this!

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Drew Carey: And we're back for the Price Is Right Showcase Showdown.  Let's present our first showcase!

Announcer: Our first prize up for bid is a brand new Bar B Que grill, made of stainless steel, great for griling or smoking meat.  

Our second prize in the showcase is a trip to Hawaii, a luxurious tropical getaway at a 5-Star hotel.

And lastly in our showcase is a TIME MACHINE! 

Made of gold plated titanium and powered by quantum energies beyond mere human understanding, this TIME MACHINE can take you to the farthest reaches of the FUTURE where you can witness humankind explore the stars or to the past to see the very creation of LIFE itself!! With your TIME MACHINE, you can change human history as you see fit with powers like unto a GOD! 

And it can all be yours IF the price is right!" 

Drew Carey: So you have that really sweet grill and that nice trip to Hawaii and of course, the time machine. Heidi, are you going to bid or pass?"

Heidi: "Mmm! I think I'll pass."

Drew Carey: "Really? I mean there's a....

Heidi: "My boyfriend has a grill and I don't like to cook."

Drew Carey: "....but...."

Heidi: "And I've been to Hawaii and it's so overrated."  

Drew Carey: "There's a time machine!" 

Heidi: "Yeah but nah... not my thing."

Drew Carey: "But power... like unto a god and... all that..."

Heidi: "Nope! I've gonna pass, Drew!" 

Drew Carey: "OK then! So Marcello, are you ready to bid?"

Marcello: "Am I ever! My mom has to do all the cooking so I can help her with the cooking with that Bar B Que grill!"

Drew Carey: "Well, that's nice of you and..."

Marcello: "And my mom, she works so hard! She deserves a break! I can take her Hawaii!"

Drew Carey: "And there's the time machine...."

Marcello: "Oh, I'm almost forgot the time machine!"

Drew Carey: "You almost....forgot.... the time machine?!"

Marcello: "But it will come in handy. I can go back in time...."

Drew Carey: "Yes, you can!"

Marcello: "And have sex with my mom!"

Drew Carey: "What the fu---"

And that my friends was what was in my brain when I woke up Saturday morning. 

I kid you not.

And I apologize.

"Well, what the unholy fuck was that?!?"