#Headlines For Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Once again per the demands of thousands..er, hundreds? dozens? OK, no one, let's do that #Headline thing in 5...4...3...2...

 

1.     #Headline “Cardinals make grand entrance into Sistine Chapel” Cue dry ice, laser show and announcer: “Give it up y'all FOR THE CARDINALS!”

2.     #Headline “Black smoke rises from Vatican, signaling no decision on pope” OK, which son of a bitch burned the damned crepes again?

3.     #Headline “Asia pope contender is charismatic, 'angst free'” Meanwhile, filmmaker ANG LEE says “Pick me! I have my own doves & everything!”

4.     #Headline “Martian rock points to life-friendly conditions, NASA says” The rocks are pointing at a Martian Starbucks.

5.     #Headline “Family,friends share poetic letters from George HW Bush” In love, I am JUST a student but I think sex with you WOULD be prudent.

6.     #Headline “'Get me out': Golfer plunges into Illinois sinkhole” Could he be more specific? Out of the sinkhole or out of Illinois?

7.     #Headline “Napolitano on sequestration budget cuts: 'Our turnip is pretty dry'” Their turnip does have a sort of wry sense of humor.

8.     #Headline “New mom Snooki: ‘I don’t have motivation to party” And I still don’t have motivation to give a fuck about Snooki.

9.     #Headline “Prince Charles: Becoming a grandfather makes me feel old” I thought being married to Camilla already took care of that, Chuck!

10. And finally #Headline “Creating tiny black holes isn't all that hard” So said the unassuming computer geek WHO DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE!!

 

Remember, the same sort of insanity you're not enjoying here at I’m So Glad My Suffering Amuses You  is also available on my Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo. Be sure to pop by & not enjoy that.

ALSO: for the actual stories that go with these #Headlines, go to http://www.nbcnews.com/.