I've noted on this blog before that when I was single, I sucked at dating. Really, truly and royally sucked at it. Mostly it stemmed from lack of confidence and not knowing what to say to women.
Of course now that I'm old, flabby and married, NOW I can think of things to say to women. So when I was young and single, I knew why I wanted a woman but I didn't know how to meet one. Now I know to how to meet women but I don't remember why.
It's like the story of the 85 year old man who was celebrating his birthday. Some of this man's friends had hired a stripper for the party. And as a special treat, the stripper told the man he could have super sex with her. Our 85 year birthday boy replied, "If it's all the same to you, I'll just have the soup."
Today I have batch of re-heated Tweets from last month when the hashtag
- Do you know my wife?
- Do you take credit cards?
- My last girlfriend died...suspiciously
- Are those tits really real?
- My name is Bill Cosby
- Ten murder charges, no convictions
- Herpes is my constant companion
- You smell like wet weasels
- I have bladder control issues
- My sores have healed mostly.
- My secret friend likes you
- pickle pickle pickle pickle pickle
- I'm running for President again. (The Mitt Romney Special)
- I play the pan flute.
- I have many, many cats.
- Why are you still here?
OK, that's all I got for today. Be back here for another post tomorrow. In the meantime, be good to one another.
Dave-El
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You
Dave-El
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You
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