The day has arrived: Halloween.
The plastic ghost and jack o'lantern stand watch by the front steps.
Steve the rainbow skeleton haunts the front porch.
A bowl of bite sized candy is primed for distribution.
And we've reached the final Saturday of October.
It's MOVIE TIME!
Over the course of the previous 4 Saturdays, I have chronicled movies of questionable value and quality.
We've tracked the torments of a mad magician, mutated child cannibals, a bloody pit of horror and a deranged sexual deviant.
Today's cinematic slog is... worse than all of them.
Some of the previous movies maybe had something to make the experience not completely suck. Look, I rather enjoyed Bloody Pit of Horror if only for Mickey Hargitay's goofy happy torturer.
Today's movie has no such remotely slim redeeming quality.
From 1965, I give you... Monster A-Go-Go!
Our tale starts with a space craft on a MISSION into SPACE where a STRANGE COSMIC MYSTERY sends the space craft hurtling back to Earth.
- People standing in a field.
- People telling us they found a body in the the field.
- People in a house talking about what was found and not found in the field.
- People still out in the field.
- People talking in a laboratory.
- A monster appears (we can see that), attacks (not shown) and kills (not shown).
- I swear to God, we're back in the damn field again!
- Somebody's dining in a restaurant.
- More discussion in a lab.
- We're back at that house.
- I swear to fucking Lucifer if we go back....
- GODDAMMIT! We're in a FIELD!
- More talking in a lab.
- One again the monster appears (we can see that), attacks (not shown) and kills (not shown).
- The army* shoots in the general direction of the monster.
- *A couple of guys in a Dodge Rambler.
- The monster shambles into Chicago and vanishes.
- Frank Douglas, astronaut
- Col. Steve Connors, Army guy
- Jim Taylor, helicopter pilot
- Dr. Karl Schreiber, scientist
- Dr. Nora Kramer, also a scientist but a girl
- Ruth Logan, another girl character
- Also Harry Logan, Ruth's husband who is dead but he gets name checked
- Jimmy, Ruth's son. Frank Douglas has been like a father to Jimmy since Harry died
- Dr. Frank Logan, another Frank, another scientist and another member of the Logan family
- Henry Schwartz, lab assistant to Dr. Frank Logan
- Dr. Chris Manning, some dude, maybe a scientist?
- Who cares? Will to live being lost...
- Dr. Brent, another goddam scientist
- We don't need this many scientists!
- Dr. Conrad Logan, are you shitting me? It's another fucking scientist and also named Logan?
- Also add in nameless teenagers in a make out session, a hot blonde with car trouble and a no name truck driver
- And a narrator who randomly checks in to provide plot points the movie cannot bother to show and the characters cannot tell you because they don't know shit.
- Oh, and the Monster who may or may not be Frank Douglas, astronaut.
There's a really perplexing twist at the end that calls into question the true identity of the Monster or some shit that if you made it this far, you really should not care!
Why, why, WHY does Monster A-Go-Go exist?
God and the Devil made a bet and somehow they both lost?
No, because filmmaker Bill Rebane knew a guy: Henry Hite who was 2.31 meters tall.
Okay, this 'MERICA! We don't go in for that pansy European metric bullshit!
Henry Hite was 7 ft 6¾ in tall.
So Bill Rebane started from the premise of let's make a movie around that guy.
Rebane's production took 3 important steps:
1) Slather lumpy bumpy make up on Henry's noggin
2) Film him lurching about looking scary.
3) Some other 3rd thing that will occur to Bill sooner or later.
Bill's production began in 1962 in and around his native Chicago and lurched forward through 1963 when the money and anything resembling creativity ran out.
Bill Rebane handed over what little he had to noted exploitation horror movie maven Herschell Gordon Lewis and moved on to other things.
A couple of years later, Lewis was in urgent need of a second film to fill out a double bill with one of his shlockfest horror films and dug out Rebane's incomplete footage.
Lewis shot a few extra scenes and added some new dialogue and adorned it with the title Monster A-Go-Go in 1965.
Lewis' hurried slapdash efforts to turn Rebane's raw footage into... something, anything resulted in a strange disjointed story with no continuity.
So much time elapsed between Rebane's original shoot and Lewis dusting it off, a lot of the original cast was not available. Hence the plethora of redundant scientists that populate the film.
Lewis was able to get the actor back who played Dr. Frank Logan but the actor had so dramatically changed his look, Lewis recast him as Frank Logan's brother, Conrad.
How cheap was this movie? There's a scene with a ringing telephone which is clearly somebody making a phone ringing sound with their mouth.
I will assure you I did not watch Monster A-Go-Go alone. I was joined by Joel Hodgson and his robot pals.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 took a pass at Monster A-Go-Go in 1993, much to their regret. Writer Paul Chaplin called Monster a Go-Go "officially the worst movie the show had featured, as of Season 7. The movie's lack of focus also forced the writers for the first time to explicitly decide not to have any of the episode's host segments have anything to do with the movie."
Monster A-Go-Go is a Monster A-No-No and this post is mercifully Monster A-Gone-Gone.
Enjoy your Halloween!














































