Trump's War on the Press

As you may have heard, Li’l Donnie Trump got himself in quite the tizzy at  a press conference in the White House when reporters had the temerity to ask him questions.

 

I may not have the exacting wording correct but I believe this accurately captures the truth of the events as they transpired.

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Mr. President, I have a question…

 

Donald Trump: You’re a pooty head. I’m not answering your question.

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Wait! What?! 

 

Donald Trump:  You heard me! You’re a pooty head. I’m not answering your question.

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Mr. President! As a member of the press, I have…. 

 

Donald Trump:  Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah! I’m not listening! I’m not listening!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Mr. President, I must insist that you….

 

Donald Trump:  Jim Acosta’s a pooty head! A pooty head! A pooty head!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Mr. President, that is uncalled for….

 

Donald Trump:  Everyone here knows it! Everyone knows Jim Acosta is a pooty head!  Sarah, what do people say about Jim Acosta?

 

Sarah Sanders: That Jim Acosta is a pooty head, Mr. President!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Sarah! Really?!?!

 

Donald Trump:  Jim Acosta’s a pooty head! A pooty head! A pooty head!

 

NBC’s Pete Alexander: Sir, I must respectfully dispute this assertion: Jim Acosta is not a pooty head!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Thank you, Pete!  

 

Donald Trump:  You know what that makes you, Pete?  

 

NBC’s Pete Alexander:  Please, Mr. President, don’t call me….

 

Donald Trump:  Pete Alexander’s a pooty head! A pooty head! A pooty head!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: I think this is most disrespectful to the press corps and yes, even to the Presidency for you to stand up there and call reporters who are just doing their jobs “pooty heads”. 

 

Donald Trump:  You’re the one being disrespectfull

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Wait! What?! 

 

Donald Trump:  Accusing me of calling someone a pooty head? I would never do that!  

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: You’ve been calling me a pooty head!    

 

Donald Trump:  I did not!

 

NBC’s Pete Alexander:  And you called me a pooty head too! 

 

Donald Trump: Did not!  

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Did too!      

 

Donald Trump:  Did not!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Did too!      

 

Donald Trump:  Did not!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Did too!      

 

Donald Trump:  Did not!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Look! We have recording equipment!        

 

Donald Trump:  No, you don’t!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: We have audio…..        

 

Donald Trump:  Fake news!

 

 CNN’s Jim Acosta: And video!         

 

Donald Trump:  Faaaaaaaaaaake neeeeeeeeeeeeeews!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: No! You called me a pooty head!

 

Donald Trump:  Sarah, get him out of here!

 

Sarah Sanders: Jim, your press pass is revoked!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: What? Why? 

 

Sarah Sanders: You called called the President a pooty head!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: No, I didn’t!

 

Sarah Sanders: I have the video to prove it! Let me get my phone!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: What?

 

Sarah’s phone: Turn the frickin’ frogs gay!

 

Sarah Sanders: Oops! Let me fast forward a bit!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Hey, you got that from InfoWars and Alex Jones!

 

Sarah Sanders: No, I didn’t. 

 

Sarah’s phone: Turn the frickin’ frogs gay!

  

Sarah Sanders: Well, gosh darn it! Excuse my language, Jesus! Oh, here we go.     

 

Sarah’s phone:  You… are… a pooty head!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: That was edited! And very poorly edited at that!  

 

Sarah Sanders: No, it isn’t. 

 

Sarah’s phone: Turn the frickin’ frogs gay!

 

Sarah Sanders: Oh, this gosh darn phone. Sorry again, Jesus.

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: CNN will protest this in the strongest terms! 

 

Donald Trump: Bye, pooty head!

 

CNN’s Jim Acosta: Damn it! He said it again! 

 

Donald Trump: No, I didn’t.  


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Tomorrow morning on the blog.

Doctor Who. A mid season report on how things are going so far.


Tomorrow afternoon, Trump's War On Law and Order. (Less funny that today's War on the Press. Sorry.)