Is Ellen Degeneres a Bitch Or What?

There's a been a lot of controversy surrounding Ellen Degeneres lately. 

I remember Ellen from long ago, long before she became the current queen of daytime TV when she was a stand up comedian plying her trade in front of the ubiquitous brick walls of comedy clubs and on the stage of the Tonight Show.  

Ellen Degeneres would eventually get her own sitcom in the wake of other stand up comedians (Jerry Seinfeld, Tim Allen, Roseanne, Drew Carey, etc) getting their own sitcoms. It was on this show that Ellen's character (and Ellen herself) came out as gay in a ground breaking milestone moment in TV history.  

The idea that a out and proud gay woman would get her own daytime talk show and be welcomed into the homes of millions of TV viewers is a very impressive feat. 

In addition to be a role model for gay women, Ellen Degeneres has also set herself up as a proponent of the idea of just being kind to people.  

This appeal to kindness has brought Ellen Degeneres to a rather troubling juncture of her career. 

Which leads us to the question of the moment: Is Ellen Degeneres a Bitch Or What?  

There have been a multitude of testimonials from celebrities, production staff and fans about how Ellen Degeneres is not the nice person her reputation says she is. There have been descriptions of her as brooding and moody, temperamental and for God's sake do not make eye contact. The atmosphere of working on The Ellen Degeneres Show has been described as "toxic" either through Ellen's own actions or the actions of abusive producers that Ellen ultimately failed to rein in.  Verdict: Ellen Degeneres is a bitch. 

There has been an equally large contingent of celebrities, production staff and fans who declare that Ellen Degeneres is indeed the nice person her reputation says she is, kind and generous.  Verdict: Ellen Degeneres is NOT a bitch.  

In the constant volley of "she is" and "she's not" going in Hollywood about the Ellen Degeneres and her reputation, here's something no seems to be considering: what if both versions of Ellen Degeneres are true? 

If there was some reason for a group of people to gather and discuss the topic of me (my funeral for example), what would be the verdict?

"He was a funny guy and friendly. Very nice. He could tell the funniest stories and he seemed to genuinely care about people." 

Or..

"He was a quiet guy and shy. Rather moody. He wouldn't talk much and seem like he could barely tolerate other people." 

OK, which one of these people is telling the truth? 

What if I said both of them. 

The thing is, given the environment, time, location, I can be either of those two people and maybe even a dozen more besides. 

Here's what I'm thinking on the subject of Ellen Degeneres. Her career objective was "professional funny person", not necessarily "professional kind person". That's not to say she isn't a kind person but there is a high standard to meet if one is going to be "professional kind person" and it takes as much work to be that as it is to be a "professional funny person". 

In the movie It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, there's scene with Lloyd, the reporter doing the story about Mr. Rogers, and Joanne Rogers, Fred's wife. Joanne assures Lloyd that Mr. Rogers is a genuinely good and caring person but she also tells him it's something he has worked at.  She confesses Fred can have a bit of a temper but he's learned to work on that and keep it in control. She says Fred writes down the names of people he meets, sends them notes and letters and even prays for them by name.  

Fred Rogers may have gotten into the TV business to be a  "professional TV host person" but recognizes he has become a "professional kind person".  

For Ellen Degeneres, being a "professional funny person" makes allowances for some darkness.  There are few comedians who do not owe at least part of their gift for humor to some dark corner of their personality. Ellen Degeneres would not be the first comedian to "brood moodily" (as more than one observer described) when the camera is not on. 

It's the other part, being a "professional kind person" sadly does not allow for that kind of discretion. Ellen trusted others to look after things when she did not or could not pay attention and was betrayed by those who did not act in her best interests.  

And I think Ellen was betrayed by the idea that being kind is just something you do. If being nice and kind was indeed something should come as second nature,we wouldn't need a "professional kind person" to show us the way. The thing is being a proponent of kindness and being nice to one another takes as much work and training as be a "professional funny person". 

No, I don't think that Ellen Degeneres is a bitch. I think she is a person with a gift for humor who also wants the world to be a better place but she has lost her way. 

It happens to all of us. 

I say be kind and give Ellen a chance to work this out.

Remember to stay safe and to be good to one another.