Star Trekking - The Next Generation - Season 1 - "11001001"

And we're back with another edition of Star Trekking, my blog's regular outpost for all things Star Trek.   

After two weeks in the relative present with Starfleet Academy and other modern series made by Alex Kurtzman and Secret Hideout, I thought today I would turn to the past.

But not as you might expect to the original series. 

Instead I'm going to dedicate a series of these posts to Star Trek: The Next Generation. 

The approach I've decided to follow in this exploration is to turn to one single episode per season for this and the next 6 posts.

The episode I select each week is not necessarily and objectively the best of that season but one that I particularly liked. It is very much a selective subjective perspective.    

The first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation was a bit of a mixed bag, to put it politely.  

For a show made 20 years on from the original series, TNG still managed to look chintzy and cheap. 

Instead of wry commentary on the modern human condition, TNG stories frequently offered ham fisted parables on par with an after school special.

Even with an English Shakesperean AcTOR at the top of the call sheet, performances felt flat and perfunctory.  Dialogue was stilted recitations of scripts lacking in nuance or character.

It didn't help that Gene Roddenbery really doubled down on the ideal that by the 24th century, pesky little human foibles like hate, jealousy and some other 3rd thing would be behind us. Which might make for an ideal future but does not make for ideal television drama.

Paramount was prepared to go forward with a new Star Trek TV series.  But studio execs felt that doing it without Gene Roddenberry would be a deal breaker for the Star Trek fandom whose support Paramount desperately needed for any new Star Trek TV show.  This did a lot to feed Roddenberry's ego.

An ego that was causing turmoil backstage with a revolving group of writers flummoxed by Gene's restrictions and his continual interference in their scripts.  

There were some episodes that survived this critical crucible that hold up as strong installments from season 1.

"Where No One Has Gone Before" which was introduced the Traveller and a raison d'être for the irritating Wesley Crusher.

And "The Big Goodbye" which gave us that frustrating trope of the holodeck glitches out and tries to kill you but the episode does it with humor and style.

But the episode I wanted to spotlight today was the 15th episode of the 1st season, airing on February 1, 1988.

"11001001" was written by Maurice Hurley & Robert Lewin and directed by Paul Lynch. 

The Enterprise's arrival at Starbase 74 looks epic and almost cinematic. That's because the Starbase was lifted from Star Trek III: The Search For Spock.  

The Enterprise is there for some minor repairs and a retrofit of the ship's computers led by an alien race known as Bynars. The Bynars are a race interconnected with each other and their homeworld's master computer, making them really super good at computer stuff. 

With the Enterprise docked at Starbase 74, that leaves some down time for the crew.  

What to do? What to do? 

Capt. Picard and Commander Riker have a conversation about that. 

PICARD: Well, I have a little work to finish up, then I'm going to my cabin. I'm going to put my feet up, I'm going to turn on my personal relaxation light and I'm going to lose myself in the pages of some old novel. What about you, Number One? You've earned a rest.

RIKER: I've never been very good at organizing my time off. Something'll turn up. It always does.

Up until this point, Riker felt too stiff, too strictly adherent to his sense of duty. The sly twinkle in Riker's eye when he says "something'll turn up. It always does" is good indicator of the warmer, more relaxed approach Jonathan Frakes would bring to the role when he grew his beard for season 2.  

With the crew not dealing with the alien thingy of the week, the crew finds other ways to occupy their time.

Riker catches up with Tasha Yar and Worf who are off to play some form of sportsball. 

TASHA: We've been challenged to a friendly game of Parrises Squares by some of the maintenance personnel. Want to join us on the starbase?

RIKER: You've already got all the players you need.

TASHA: We can switch off.

RIKER: No, you know if you do that in Parrises Squares you lose the rhythm of the game.

TASHA: I can't talk you into coming with us?

RIKER: No. But win, all right? The pride of the Enterprise goes with you.

WORF: Rest assured, Commander, we will be victorious. At whatever the cost.

RIKER: Worf, it's just a game. A little friendly competition, You work up a sweat, you have a few laughs, and you make new friends.

WORF: If winning is not important, then, Commander, why keep score?

Yeah, that sounds like the Worf we'll come to know better over the course of the next few years.  That intensity, that feeling of pride and a desire for victory sound like (and I don't want to insult our favorite Klingon here) those human foibles that Roddenberry was wanting to avoid.

I'm gonna take this opportunity to pile on with a bunch of other Trekkers to complain about Tasha Yar.  But... damn! 

Nobody seem to know what to do with Tasha Yar. Maybe we can chalk it up to Denise Crosby not being that good of an actor? Or the mostly male writers in the 1980's were clueless how to write for a strong woman in charge of a starship's security who might also be... interesting? 

It would be a  shame if Tasha Yar died before things got better for her character.

SPOILER: Tasha Yar died before things got better.  

NO! Not in this episode. Parrises Squares is not that dangerous.

Riker keeps wandering the ship.

"Something'll turn up. It always does."

Riker runs into Dr. Beverly Crusher who is all twitterpated over meeting some brilliant cyberneticist on the Starbase to compare notes. 

Is "compare notes" a euphemism for sex?

Listen, this is Star Trek. What it really means is the Crusher is meeting some brilliant cyberneticist on the Starbase to compare notes. 

Riker also checks in with Geordi (a blind man) who is teaching Data (an android) how to paint. Riker thinks this is an exercise for the history books.

Riker goes to the bridge where Wesley Crusher is watching the Bynars who are acting squirelly.

Or the Bynars are just acting like Bynars? Who knows?

Who are we to judge how an alien culture behaves? 

(It's a TV show. And yes, they are being squirelly. More on that later.) 

Riker tells Wesley to keep an eye on 'em and he continues is journey through the ship. 

When he arrives at the holodeck where some Bynars have finished some upgrades.  And the computer linked aliens ask if he would like to take the new and improved holodeck for a spin.

"Something'll turn up. It always does."

Riker says sure and orders up a made to order holographic fantasy.

RIKER: Jazz.

COMPUTER: Era?

RIKER: Circa 1958.

COMPUTER: Location.

RIKER: Kansas City. No, wait. New Orleans. Bourbon Street Bar, New Orleans. Around two a.m.

COMPUTER: Programme complete. Enter when ready.

(A nightclub with a slightly raised stage, tables with candles for light)

RIKER: Very good. Very good indeed. Now I'll need someone to play with. A trio. Piano, bass and drums, and a 'bone for me.

(The musicians appear)

RIKER: Now an audience. Whoa. Too many. I was thinking of something a little more intimate.

(A single blonde in a red dress)

RIKER: Great job, boys. But, computer, blondes and jazz seldom go together. (a red-head) Now that is truly exceptional. But more sultry.

Now I am going to confess my real reason for coming to this episode for today's Star Trek post.

Director Paul Lynch takes his own sweet time moving up a long pair of legs (and they go ALL the way up!) and we finally get to the beautiful face of a sultry brunette sitting at the bar.

Say hello to Law & Order's Carolyn McCormick as Minuet who is just dripping with sexual allure.

Riker looks upon this and is well pleased.  

RIKER: Gentlemen, if this is what you call enhancement, you've got a gift for understatement. What's your name? Tell me you love jazz.

MINUET: My name is Minuet and I love all jazz except Dixieland.

RIKER: Why not Dixieland?

MINUET: You can't dance to it.

RIKER: My girl. What's a knockout like you doing in a computer-generated gin joint like this?

MINUET: Waiting for you.

RIKER: Waiting for me? You can't be serious.

MINUET: Oh yes, Will. I've never been more serious in my life.

"Something'll turn up. It always does."

BOING!!!

So Minuet cranks up the sultry to "11" and Riker is getting all wobbly and wondering if he can fuck this hologram.

FUN FACT about the holodeck: Whatever is created by the holodeck will vanish when the program ends.

Whatever is brought in to the holodeck will NOT vanish when the program ends.

Which is why ensigns on the lower decks dread holodeck clean up duty, especially after Riker uses it.

Let's continue...

RIKER: How far can this relationship go? I mean, how real are you?

MINUET: As real as you need me to be.

(They kiss for a long time, then the holodeck doors open and)

PICARD: Astounding.

RIKER: Captain!

Yes! It's Captain Cockblocker just as Riker was getting ready to get some with the hot babe made of photons and force fields.

Note to self: Remember to lock the holodeck!  

PICARD: Oh, I'm sorry, Number One. I didn't mean to interrupt.

RIKER: No, it's all right. Come on in.

PICARD: You picked a wonderful locale. This is something I might have chosen myself.

MINUET: Aren't you going to introduce me?

RIKER: Captain Picard, this is Minuet. Minuet, Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

MINUET: Enchantee. Comme c'est merveilleux de vous voir ici.

PICARD: Incroyable! Vous etes Parisienne?

MINUET: Au fond, c'est vrai, nous sommes tous Parisiens.

PICARD: Oui, au fond, nous sommes tous Parisiens. The spirit of that city can always enchant my soul.

First season weirdness: Because Jean-Luc Picard is a French name, there was a habit of having our English Shakespearean AcTOR get all Frenchy, spouting shit in French, proud of his French heritage, you know like Chekov on the original series would get all prissy that Russians ("Wussians") invented everything.  

So early scripts would shoe horn some French stuff into Picard's dialogue.  It was a habit lost in subsequent seasons.   

Meanwhile and elsewhere from this computer-generated gin joint, the anti-matter containment on the warp core is breaking down. Unable to locate Picard or Riker (the holodeck has isolated them from communications and bio-scans), Data orders the evacuation of the Enterprise and sets the ship to auto-pilot itself away from the Starbase before it goes ka-boom!

Once the ship is apparently empty and it has cleared the Starbase, the anti-matter containment restores itself and the ship flies away.

Various plot contrivances keep the Starbase commander from sending any ships to go after it.

By way, where is Picard? Or Riker? Or the Bynars? Or Perry the Platypus? (Whoops! Wrong show.) 

Meanwhile back in the computer-generated gin joint, Picard and Riker try to leave to check on the ship but Minuet is really urgently, desperately pleading with them to stay with her.

• They need to dance!
• They need to play darts! 
• They need to do some other 3rd thing!

Which just makes Picard and Riker all the more determined to leave. And what they find is an abandoned ship under a red alert flying to the Bynars' homeworld.

Minuet provides the scoop.

• The Bynars are dying.
• Their homeworld computer was whammied by radiation from a nearby supernova.
• The Bynars need the computers on the Enterprise to reboot their planet.
• Minuet's job was to keep Riker and Picard out of their way.

The Bynars on the ship are nearly dead but Riker and Picard save the day by completing the program to reboot the Bynars and their planetary computer.  

Then Picard gets all cocky that he can fly the Enterprise back to Starbase 74.

(I need to remind you that Data earlier set the damn thing to fly itself so hey, Jean-Luc, maybe flying it is not the big deal you're making it out to be.) 

Without the Bynar's influence, Riker is not able to re-create Minuet on the holodeck.  

(Minuet will make a surprise appearance in the 4th season.) 

I'm not going to oversell "11001001" as a great episode. It has difficiencies common to the first season of TNG. But among the scattershot quality of those 1st season episodes, I find "11001001" to be an enjoyable re-watch and something of a harbinger of the better quality seasons to come out of TNG.

Next week on Star Trekking: 

It's season 2 of Star Trek: The Next Generation and the show is still contending with back stage chaos and uneven quality on screen. 

But there are some gems from that season and I'll pick one for next week's post. It may surprise you. 

-------------------------------------------------

Later today we go from science fiction to science fact with a post about the Artemis II mission to the moon. 

We're gonna go Moon Trekking!  

Movie Time: Glen Or Glenda

The husband of former Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is a crossdresser.

It was reported on Tuesday Bryon Noem shared photos online of himself in women’s clothing, often with fake breasts while hanging out with fetish models.

"Fetish" leaves a lot to the imagination so let's narrow it down it a bit: the fetish in this case is  “bimbofication” .

So what the hell is that?  I'll let Britanny Wong at Huff Post tell the tale about that.  

Bimbofication is a practice, kink and/or fetish that involves role-playing and transforming oneself into a stereotypical portrayal of a “bimbo:” Cartoonish, often surgically enhanced boobs, heavy makeup, overdone lip injections, a girlie aesthetic (short skirts, tight shirts).

So Kristi Noem is reportedly devastated by the reveal that her husband is a crossdresser.

And on that note...

It's Movie Time! 

Today's movie post takes us back to 1953 and a "classic" from Ed Wood, the filmmaking genius who gave us Bride of the Monster and Plan 9 From Outer Space. 

This particularly cinematic excursion is called Glen or Glenda.

Ed Wood wrote and directed the film as well as starred in it (under the alias "Daniel Davis") as Glen.

Or when he's in a skirt, heels, angora sweater and blonde wig, as Glenda.

Unlike other movies by Wood, this one had someone else as the producer, George Weiss.  

Weiss wanted to make an exploitation movie based on the sex reassignment surgery of Christine Jorgensen, which made national headlines in the U.S. in 1952. 

Ed Wood took George's money with a promise he would do just that.

But Ed Wood gave him Glen or Glenda instead.  

The movie stars Delores Fuller who was Ed Wood's girlfriend at the time. She plays Glen's fiance Barbara who is unaware that her darling Glen spends part of his day as Glenda.  

Glen or Glenda also stars Bela Lugosi as...

As...

I'm not sure who the hell Bela Lugosi is supposed to be.

I'm not sure Ed Wood knew either.  

Bela Lugosi is a... scientist, I think?

Or he may be a trickster god or a demon spirit of some kind?

He appears at the beginning of the film and periodically at random points as he interjects himself to leer at the proceedings.

Or angrily demands to be shown to a better movie?

Here is some of Bela's purple prose from Glen or Glenda.

"People... all going somewhere! All with their own thoughts, their own ideas... All with their own personalities. One is wrong because he does right. One is right because he does wrong. Pull the string! Dance to that which one is created for!"

Yes! Pull the string and dance, you magnificent bastard! Dance!

"A new day is begun... A new life is begun!".

"No one can really tell the story. Mistakes are made. But there is no mistaking the thoughts in a man's mind. The story is begun".

Was this written by Donald Trump's speech writer?

"Beware. Beware. Beware of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys. Puppy dog tails. Big guns. Wicked women. Beware. Take care... Beware! Beware!"

Damn it! I didn't beware and now I'm watching Glen or Glenda.

And now a green dragon is gonna eat me?

What the holy fuck is Bela Lugosi saying? And why?

No answers are forthcoming. 

Bela's not the only one talking at us. We also get some narration of a more forthright nature from Dr. Alton who provides us some insight why Glen likes to dress like a woman and the impact it has on his life and on his relationship with women.

Dr. Alton is very emphatic that Glen is NOT a homosexual. Just because his underwear is made by Maidenform doesn't make him a pervert, don't you know? 

(It's the 1950's. It was really important to assert manly comformity and heterosexuality even while wearing a skirt and stockings.) 

Glen really likes being with a woman.

He just also happens to like being a woman.

(Hey, that's pretty clever turn of a phrase if I do say so myself.)

So Barbara is just giddily in love with her rugged mister he-man buddy-buddy heterosexual manly man Glen while Glen wonders if he should introduce Barbara to Glenda and if Glenda could borrow her lovely angora sweater 'cause Glenda has a skirt that would just pair with it divinely.  

A lot of this movie plays out like an old silent film as characters pantomine madly across the screen to dramatic music.  Thankfully, we have Dr. Alton's narration to bring us up to speed.

With occasional interjections from Bela Lugosi to... to...

Whatever the hell he's doing in this picture.

Anyway, to visualize the hell that Glen and/or Glenda go through in agonzing over what to tell Barbara, we get 15 minutes of.....

Some really weird shit. 

A fever dream pastiche of BDSM and orgies and some fucked up dude in a devil mask and....

Holy shit! Is Bela Lugosis masturbating to this shit? 

It so happens that Ed Wood's movie was coming in at less than an hour so producer George Weiss added approximately fifteen minutes worth of additional footage salvaged from some unproduced exploitation films.  

So if the sequence makes even less sense that the rest of this nonsense, well, there's a reason for that. It wasn't made for this movie. It's there to fill time. 

Eventually we get back to Glen/Glenda and Barbara learns the truth of her fiance's secret life.  

She's a bit weirded out by it but as a show of support for her man, she gives Glen the angora sweater off her back.

What a real pal! 

Eventually Glen, Barbara and Dr. Alton meet up where the good doctor figures out the source of Glen's obsession with feminine garb (his father was distant, only his mother truly loved him, blah blah blah) and figures out that frequent and rigorous legally sanctioned sexual intercourse with Barbara will wean Glen off the need to be Glenda. 

Or Barbara will need to learn to share more of her wardrobe with Glenda. 

Since George Weiss is paying the bills, Ed Wood adds a final sequence that delivers on the sex change promised in the movie poster, the tale of how Alan became Anne. 

Alan was a World War II vet who helped storm the shores of Normandy. Underneath his combat fatigues, Alan was wearing silk panties. Oh, he such a Nazi killing scamp, our Alan. 

This sequence comes complete with lots of war movie stock footage as stuff blows up real good.  

Unlike Glen who was just content to wear women's clothes as Glenda, Alan decides to go the whole enchilada and swap out his enchilada,  undergoing sex reassignment surgery to become what Dr, Altron calls "a lovely young woman" named Anne.

While Anne may now physically be a woman, she has to learn how to act like one. For example, sitting in a chair with your legs spread out is a no-no. 

Also no spitting, burping or farting is allowed.

Anne is now a proper lady.

And we're done! 

Whoa! What the hell was that?

While producer George Wiess wanted a film that would sensationalize the headline making sex change surgery of Christine Jorgensen in 1952, Ed Wood focused more on  transvestism because, hey, write what you know. Ed Wood was a cross dresser and wanted his film to be a plea for tolerance for transvestites.  

Ed would often appear in public in a matching pants and coat but instead of being a man's suit, it was a woman's pants suit. 

Glen or Glenda has long been considered the worst movie ever made and having sat through it myself recently (a colorized version can be found on Tubi), yeah, it really does earn that title with it's thread bare production, incoherent storytelling and discordant tonal shifts.  

And whatever the hell Bela Lugosi was doing. 

Lugosi was the biggest name in Ed Wood's repertoire of actors and frequently pressed him into service even if there was no real need for him. 

And Lugosi, racked by old age and drug addiction, would take any work he could get, even with a small time operator like Ed Wood.

Lugosi's role in Glen or Glenda makes absolutely no sense but there is no denying the absurdity of his scenes are completely captivating. Those scenes may be stupid but Lugosi is definitely game to do....whatever this is. 

If you do choose to see Glen or Glenda, do not do what I did, watching it while awake and sober. 

Heed the warning of Bela Lugosi!

"Beware. Beware. Beware of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys. Puppy dog tails. Big guns. Wicked women. Beware. Take care... Beware! Beware!"

Yes, dear reader, beware! BEWARE!!!

Your Friday Video Link: Tig Nataro

For this week's edition of Your Friday Video Link, we're gonna focus on comedian, actor and notable lesbian person Tig Nataro.  

In addition to her role as Jett Reno in Star Trek series Discovery and Starfleet Academy, Tig hosts a digital series called Under A Rock, an interview show where Tig interviews celebrities that Tig has no knowledge of.

For example, Tig sits down with Modern Family star Julie Bowen.  

And before the interview is over, maybe Tig will know that she is sitting down with Modern Family star Julie Bowen.  

"Would you like to feel my pacemaker?"

Yes. Yes, I would.

Next up, Tig needs to figure out her guest is Big Bang Theory Star Kaley Couco. 

And Tig and all the rest of us may learn how to pronounce "Couco".  

Not let's follow Tig Nataro into SPACE  with scenes from Star Trek: Discovery with Tig as Commander Jett Reno.  

More Tig Nataro as Jett Reno, this time from Starfleet Academy. Reno busts out some Oscar Wilde on her cadets.

And that is that for this week's edition of Your Friday Video Link.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another.  

Random Thoughts

Littered about today's posts are some comic strip panels I posted to some posts back in spring 2019.

Last night, der Führer himself, Donald Trump, co-opted some prime time television to ostensibly address the nation about the war in Iran.

In full disclosure, I am writing this post the day before that speech so I may be wrong but given every single thing Li'l Donnie has ever done, I don't think I will be wrong about what he said last night.  

So Trump....

• lied.
• got angry 
• contradicted himself.
• lied some more.
• denied reality.
• blamed Joe Biden.
• threatened allies.
• claimed the war is won
• promised to keep fighting the war.
• persisted in lying.

I could go on but hell, we've lived through this moron's bullshit too long now. You know the drill.  

If Trump actually delivers an address that is calm, rational, unifying, sensible and reassuring, I will eat my hat.

• OK, step one: buy hat.
• Step two: eat hat. 

Problem: due to tariffs and war, I can't afford a hat.

Wait! Andrea has a hat.

• OK, step one: steal Andrea's hat.
• Step two: eat hat. 

Again, I fully expect my future diet will be hatless.

I have tomorrow off from work.

For Good Friday.

This is not some personal observance of a religious holiday.

It's a company holiday.

If I hear Donald Trump or one of his ilk rant and rave that Christianity is under attack, I must address that the Fortune 500 company I work for does not give us the day off for Ramadan or Yom Kippur.  

On the other hand, our firm will be shut down on the date that commerates the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  

Hey, it's a day off and I'm certainly not complaining about that.

But I am pissed off at alleged Christians who try to present themselves as martyrs to a faith under siege who live in a country where businesses will close for Good Friday.

This weekend will be Easter Sunday.

I have Andrea's gift ready in the form of a small Easter basket of goodies.

Yes, she is an adult person and who expects gifts for Easter other than children looking for candy from the Easter Bunny.

Well, she does and she's already bought something for me and I had to retaliate.  

I can't let Easter be a shut out. I have to put up some kind of fight. 

That is that for this post.

We're back tomorrow for Your Friday Video Link.

Our Movie Time Post on Saturday is about a bizzare film from the 1950's that is surprisingly topical.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another.  

To the Moon!

How did I NOT know this was happening?

Artemis II launched at Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida yesterday.

And not just some unmanned probe being shot into space but a rocket with actual people.

Here is the team in Artemis II: Mission Specialist Jeremy Hansen, of Canada,, Pilot Victor Glover, Commander Reid Wiseman, and Mission Specialist Christina Koch.

Real people in a real rocket really going into real space?

I'm not kidding! I did not know this was happening!

Am I so caught in the maelstrom of a world spirialling into ignorance, fear, hate and chaos that I totally missed a truly wonderous thing happening?

Humankind venturing once more into space! 

Artemis II is going to the Moon! We're not landing or anything, it is just a fly by but still.... damn! Since it's been over 5 decades since we last went to the Moon, just driving by to wave high at the moon is a pretty damn big deal.

And somehow....  I did not know it was happening. 

How? How did I not know of such a momentous thing was taking place?

For whatever the reason, I just hope things go well and wish for the crew of Artemis II to have an amazing adventure and to safely make it back home.

Stories That Shoud Be April Fool's Stories But Are Not

 So that post earlier this morning that I was dedicating the blog to the exclusive topic of actor Rachel Brosnahan? 

Yeah, I know, it was totally random and just weird.

I thought of doing some kind of strange satire piece around current real world events, politics or some other third thing.

But that's hard to do in a world with Donald Trump and his minions generating their own satire.

These are stories that should be April Fool's stories... but they're not.

TRUMP SPENDS CABINET MEETING TALKING SHARPIES

Yes, the alleged President of the United States gathered the heads of various government agencies and pontificated in detail on....

Sharpies! 

Yep, that thick marker Li'l Donnie uses to scrawl his  signature on executive orders made for a long winded discussion about how the usual White House ball point pens were too expensive and didn't work and the kids he gave them to as souvenirs didn't know what they were ("Mommy, what is this?") and how the head of the company that makes them offered to make some special for Donald Trump in black with gold lettering for $5 a pop.

Well, that was a good use of everyone's time. 

And also....

Newell Brands of Atlanta GA who manufacture Sharpies do not know what the fuck Trump is talking about. There was no conversation between Trump and anyone with the company about making special pens for der Führer.

IRAN GIVES TRUMP A PRESENT 

Der Führer claims he and his administration are in talks with Iran. 

Iran says ain't nobody talking to nobody.  

Li'l Donnie says yes they are and they gave him a present to show their good faith that they are serious about negotiatin'. 

It turns out that Iran did let a couple of oil tankers slip through the Strait of Hormuz and this is what Trump was calling "a present".

TRUMP SHOWS OFF A BALLROOM WITH NO FRONT DOOR 

While the fucking world is on fucking fire from the fucking war he fucking started, Donald Trump regaled the press on Air Force One with designs for his precious ballroom.

The New York Times poked around with the schematic drawing and well, they have questions.

The grand staircase out front does not actually lead to the entrance of the ballroom.

There are too many columns, obscuring a view of the building from  the outside and the view of anyone inside looking out.

Stairs on the side go nowhere.

It is too big and too tall. 

It's a garish monstrosity.

And Li'l Donnie is so proud of it.  

ALSO: apparently, the ballroom will be on top of a secret military complex.  Which is not a secret since Li'l Donnie blabbed about it.  

No matter how bad things can get in this world, Donald Trump will always find joy in his ballroom.

Unless...  

SIDE NOTE: a federal judge made a ruling that construction on the ballroom has to stop until Congress approves it.

Now Li'l Donnie's sad. And mad.  

VANCE SAYS ALIENS ARE DEMONS

No, I did not pull that headline from a tabloid.

It's a real thing that a real person really said.

During a podcast interview, J D Vance posited that if extraterrestrial beings really do exist, they are not from outer space.

They are demons.  

I'm not making that up. Vance said that.

You know how everyone keeps gleefully anticipating that Donald Trump is gonna die? Well, it happens, then J D Vance will be in charge.

So it would be more of a lateral move than any kind of improvement.  

KRISTI NOEM'S HUSBAND IS A CROSSDRESSER

Ok, NOW I'm making shit up, right?

Nope! It's a real story.

Seems the former head of the Department of Homeland Security was caught off guard that her hubby dresses up in women's clothes and hangs out with fetish models online.

It is so hard to come up with a good April Fool's gag in a world so full of fools.

I'm just gonna go back and admire my Rachel Brosnahan post.

All Rachel Brosnahan All the TIme

It's the beginning of a brand new month and it's also the beginning of a brand new day here at I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

A major challenge for this blog is a distressing lack of focus. What is this blog about? What is it's purpose?

Comic books, TV shows, politics, movies, all matter of things.

This blog can be so random. And quite frankly, I've had enough!

So that's why I've decided to dedicate this blog to one topic, one purpose, one person.

And that person is Rachel Brosnahan! 

Yes, Lois Lane in James Gunn's Superman movie!

The star of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

Yes, that  Rachel Brosnahan! 

And I'm not talking about something lame like a post once in a while! 

NO! Every day, this blog will be dedicated to the joy, the sheer pleasure of living on the same planet as  Rachel Brosnahan! 

• MONDAY: What is Rachel wearing today?
• TUESDAY: What is Rachel having for breakfast?
• WEDNESDAY: What is Rachel watching on television?
• THURSDAY: Why is Rachel not answering my texts?
• FRIDAY: What are Rachel's plans for dinner?
• SATURDAY: What does Rachel look taking a nap?
• SUNDAY: Why do I have a restraining order from  Rachel Brosnahan? 

I will replace the Tuesday TV Touchbase with a weekly recap of the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel as I analyze this ground breaking series 10 minutes at a time.

Movie Time? We're gonna watch Superman every week! 

I am serious! 

• Posts about the idiot in the White House? GONE! 
• Posts about Doctor Who or Star Trek? Outta here! 
• Posts about comic books? Beat it! 

Only one thing matters. 

Only one purpose! 

 Rachel Brosnahan! 

I will need to rename the blog from I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

I'm thinking I'm So Glad Rachel Brosnahan Amuses You! 

Or I'm So Glad We Live In A World With Rachel Brosnahan!

Maybe I'm So Glad You Finally Realized This Is An April Fool's Day Post.

I hope you have a good and pleasant April 1st.

But seriously, Rachel Brosnahan is so seriously awesome!