The Narwhal Post

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You Entertainment and Dave-El Productions Inc. are proud to present (because we're staring at a blank screen and feeling well and truly fucked to come up with any ideas)...

The Narwhal.  

Here are some facts about the narwhal. 

The narwhal, or narwhale (Monodon monoceros), is a medium-sized toothed whale and possesses a large “tusk” from a protruding canine tooth. It lives year-round in the Arctic waters around Greenland, Canada, and Russia. It is one of two living species of whale in the Monodontidae family, along with the beluga whale. The narwhal males are distinguished by a long, straight, helical tusk, which is an elongated upper left canine. 


And here are some lyrics to a song about the narwhal. 

Narwhals, Narwhals
Swimming in the ocean
Causing a commotion
'Cause they are so awesome

Narwhals, Narwhals
Swimming in the ocean
Pretty big and pretty white
They beat a polar bear in a fight

Like an underwater unicorn
They've got a kick-ass facial horn
They're the Jedi of the sea
They stop Cthulhu eating ye

Narwhals
They are Narwhals
Narwhals
Just don't let 'em touch your balls
Narwhals
They are Narwhals
Narwhals
Inventors of the Shish Kebab

Narwhals
They are Narwhals
Narwhals
Just don't let 'em touch your balls
Narwhals
They are Narwhals
Narwhals

Here are some more narwhal facts.

Narwhals are medium-sized whales. For both sexes, excluding the male’s tusk, the total body size can range from 3.95 to 5.5 metres (13.0 to 18.0 feet); the males are slightly larger than the females. The average weight of an adult narwhal is 800 to 1,600 kilograms (1,800 to 3,500 pounds).

That's enough narwhal facts.

And this is the end of the blog post about the narwhal.