The Potato Profundity or Hemorrhoids From the Deep

Yesterday, I posted about how Mike Sterling linked to this blog in one of his blog posts.

There has been a commiserate increase in hits to this blog since Mike that. Thanks, Mike!

So how am I going to respond to this unexpected windfall of readership? 

Today's post is about potatoes, the anus and hemorrhoids.

You're welcome.  

Tomorrow, I will try to do a comic book post.
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Sometimes you see stuff on the internet and you wonder why is this a thing. I mean, what the hell?

It makes no sense but it cries out for commentary.

Like this headline that someone posted on Twitter. 

I think my comment misses the point of the medical warning. It's not so much the frozen or not frozen status of the potato that is of concern but rather the presence of any potato, frozen or unfrozen, in one's rectum that is the issue here. 

I know that. Which is why "thawing them out first" is funny. 

But still the question lingers: why put a potato in one's anus at all, frozen or thawed? 

It seems there's this idea that a potato up one's ass can cure hemorrhoids.

This probably from the same geniuses who think the coronavirus is cause by drinking Corona beer. 

Spoiler alert: a potato up one's ass does NOT cure hemorrhoids.

Here's a funny item about my life: for a long time in my existence, I did not know what hemorrhoids were. 

I would see the commercials on TV for Preparation H but I had no clear idea what this "H" was preparing you for. 

There was this horror movie that came out in 1980 called Humanoids From the Deep. We used to have fun calling it Hemorrhoids From the Deep. But I did not know what that meant. 

I had NO idea what hemorrhoids were. Until I got them.  

I was in my mid 20's. I had bought a new car but I wasn't enjoying my experience driving it. It hurt like hell to sit while I was driving. 

Oddly enough, my discomfort with other means of sitting was less pronounced. Only while sitting in the front seat of my new car did I feel like my ass was on fire with excruciating 
pain. 

So I made an appointment to see my doctor.

Now that was awkward. 

Receptionist: And why do you need to see the doctor?

Me: Er, my, uh, you know, my butt.... hurts....

My visit with the doctor was no less awkward. My doctor felt in necessary to inspect my ass as it was in that area that I was feeling pain.  

I did not like it.

"Well, you have hemorrhoids!" 

Oh, so THAT'S what hemorrhoids are!  

Outside my embarrassment about the whole thing, at least I felt remarkably well informed about a word I heard for years but had no idea what it was about.  

Anyway, long story made short, stuffing a potato in your anus will not cure hemorrhoids.  

I do not know that from personal experience. I read things  and I trust science. I'm sure the science of the curative value of a potato in the anus has been rigorously tested.  

Scientist: Do your hemorrhoids still hurt?

Lab subject: Yes and this potato up my anus is quite uncomfortable.

Scientist checks off a box on her clipboard.

Scientist: And that is a "no".  

And I'm so glad my suffering amuses you.   
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The graphic at the start of today's post was derived from this Dustin comic strip.  

Tomorrow, something to do with comic books!