Tuesday TV Touchbase: Christmas Television

Here are the Christmas specials and holiday themed episodes that have been watched this holiday season here at the Fortress of Ineptitude

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

The story of an ordinary green dude who just wants some goddam peace and quiet this Christmas! Is it too much to ask?

I'm rooting for the Grinch's wacky scheme to steal Christmas. Does that make me weird?

The Year Without a Santa Claus  

Santa's just tired, y'all. Everyone just sort out Christmas among yourselves, OK?

I'm rooting for Santa to make retirement work. Does that make me weird?

Meanwhile...

Heat Miser Vs. Snow Miser! Battleground: North Carolina!

(Seriously! We've been freezing our asses off for 2 weeks now and Christmas Day? Forecast calls for a high near 70! What the hell people?)

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer

Hermie comes out as gay.... I mean, as a dentist.

I'm rooting for Abomniable Snowman to enjoy some deer meat. Does that make me weird?

A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter.  

Last  year I watched Sabrina's Netflix holiday special by myself.

This year, I chose to share it with inflict it on other people: wife Andrea, son Dean, friend Jan and dog Rosie. Andrea said that she liked it. Dean described the special as "a thing that exists that we watched." 

I don't mean to suggest Dean is grumpy but he agrees with me about the Grinch.

_________________________

Here are some Christmas themed episodes I've watched this month.  

Abbott Elementary

It's the last day of school before the winter Christmas break and it's time for the winter talent show.  So naturally that's when the heating system dies in a violent spasm of smoke and busted water pipes. Abbott Elementary the building is closed for business.

Merry freakin' Christmas!

When the holiday break is over, classes will move to an abandoned mall. See y'all in January! 

Sue Thomas F.B. Eye

Sue's mother comes to visit for Christmas and is an overbearing control freak and the normally kind and amiable Sue is pissed off. (Well, as pissed off as the star of a family friendly crime show is allowed to get.) Also we find out that although she is deaf, Sue can sing and play the piano. 

Georgie & Mandy's First Marriage

The McAllisters take the family to sunny Miami for Christmas. Which is washed out by a torrential rain. 

Connor sums up the trip in song.

Ghosts

A double of dose yuletide nonsense. 

1) Thor arranges for Flower to possess Sam's  body as a Christmas gift. Flower died while high as hell so her ghost is high as hell which means Sam is high as hell during her TV interview to promote her new book. And has a massive case of the munchies! Sam devours an entire ginger bread house on live national TV.

2) Sam wishes she never had the ability to see ghosts and Carol returns from the afterlife as an erzatz guardian angel to grant her wish. The Woodstone Manor B&B is doing better but much else is not. 

Saturday Night Live

Ariana Grande hosted the Christmas episode this week and her monologue (set to Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas") is a lament on buying presents for people you barely know.

Cher was the musical guest who did a couple of holiday tunes including a kick ass version of "Run Run Rudolph". Not bad for a woman who is 79 years old! (Really? Really!)

The episode was also the last for cast member Bowen Yang. 

Andrea  wanted to stay up past weekend update for Bowen.

He got a silly but sweet send off in the 10 to 1 sketch about a guy serving eggnog at the airport for the last time. 

And that is that for my holiday television viewing this year. 

Up next week on the Tuesday TV Touchbase.

Did I keep my resolution to watch even more television? We'll take a look at the year that was. 

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.