Welcome to another edition of This (Non) Sporting Life, a blog post about sports written by a guy who does not know much about sports.
And if there is a sport I don't know much about, it's horse racing.
But it has become a habit for Andrea and I each first Saturday of May to watch the Kentucky Derby.
It's kind of like how we don't know much about football but we will watch the Super Bowl.
The lead up to the actual race itselt is a spectacle of conspicous wealth and fealty to arcane traditions.
And hats!
Hats are BIG literally and metaphorically at the Kentucky Derby.
Those are some hats!
The race itself lasts a couple of minutes so we got a LOT of time to fill before the thing itself arrives.
Interviews with owners about how much they've worked and sacrificed to make it to this day.
"Instead of platinum, we had to settle for mere gold plumbing fixtures on our luxury yacht like a common Trump. Oh dear, it has been quite the struggle."
Nobody interviews the horses.
Various sports reporters and analysts offered their takes on who will win this most hallowed and sacred of horse racing events.
There's a QR code to scan to place your bets.
Oh my! There is gambling at this most hallowed and sacred of horse racing events?
I am shocked SHOCKED! to find there is gambling at this...
The gambling site with the QR code is one of NBC's sponsors?
Yay! Gambling! Gambling is great!
I for one welcome our gambling overlords!
Finally the big moment arrives and we're....
Watching horses being led to their stalls.
One big jet black horse called Great White doesn't want to to go. He rears back, throws off his rider and falls to the ground. The horse quickly gets back up and seems to be OK but Great White gets scratched from the big race.
So all you racists out there who bet on him because he's named "Great White", well, tough luck!
Finally the big moment arrives and we're....
OFF!!!
The 152nd running of the Kentucky Derby is underway!
Down the stretch they come and with 23-1 odds of winning this thing, it's Golden Tempo first across the finish line!
Jockey Jose Ortiz, who has ridden in the Kentucky Derby 10 times, had his first win with Golden Tempo.
"I'm just glad I get to ride almost every year, but to get the winner is just special. I just wish my grandpa was here."
Cherie DeVaux is the first female trainer to win the Kentucky Derby.
"I don't even have any words right now. I'm just so, so happy for Golden Tempo, Jose did a wonderful job. He has had so much faith in this horse."
What about the horse? Did anyone interview Golden Tempo?
 |
| "I was promised hay! And an apple!" |
The winner of the Kentucky Derby receives $3.1 million of the race's $5 million purse.
The horse doesn't get $3.1 million. The owners get the money.
"I say, we can take those dreadful gold fixtures off the yacht now! I'm thinking diamond faucets?"
Well, the owners do have to share.
The trainer gets $300,000.
The jockey also gets $300,000.
The horse gets the really good hay. And TWO apples!
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