Trump’s World Tour (Brought To You By KFC)

I'm going to babble a bit about Trump's trip abroad ("No broads; Melania's coming with me!") but first, I can’t let this go without comment: did you hear about Greg Gianforte, the Republican candidate for Congress in Montana who body slammed a reporter for asking a question about health care?

‘Tis true! The candidate’s campaign issued a statement blaming the altercation on a rude and pushy “liberal” reporter. Well, there’s an audio recording that corroborates the reporter’s story. And 3 people with a Fox News crew backed him up.

Dude, you’re a Republican and even Fox News isn’t taking up for you? Dude!

Would this act of violence hurt Greg Gianforte? Hell, he probably ticked up a couple of points in the polls from voters who heard that he body slammed a “liberal” reporter and went, “Oh HELL yeah!” 

Get a load of this exchange: 

Last month, a voter at a Gianforte town hall pointed out a journalist in the room, called the media “the enemy” and mimed the act of wringing a neck. 

Gianforte smiled and pointed at the reporter. 


“We have someone right here,” he said, according to the Ravalli Republic. “It seems like there are more of us than there is of him.” 

For the source of that and more about Ginaforte, click here.  

The election was over last night and guess what? Greg Gianforte is going to Washington DC to presumably body slam Nancy Pelosi. Oh, the White House may be in his future.

OK, on to today's regularly scheduled topic.

Trump’s World Tour (brought to you by KFC) continues and so far, he hasn’t started any wars so good on you, Li’l Donnie. Of course, the trip ain’t over yet.

Trump levels of hypocrisy were on display.

1) Melania arrived with Li’l Donnie in Saudi Arabia sans head scarf. Guess who bitched about Michelle Obama on her previous trip not wearing a head scarf being a sign of disrespect to the Saudis? I’ll give you a hint: he’s orange, has small hands.

2) Li’l Donnie bowed as King Salman bin Abdulaziz placed a medal around Trump’s neck. Guess who bitched about Barack Obama for bowing to a foreign leader?  Yep, Li’l Donnie. Not only did Trump bow, he curtsied. Yes, Donald Trump bowed and fucking CURTSIED!

3) Trump-wad also announced a multi-million dollar sale of fighter planes to Saudi Arabia; Trump said he would make sure they got a good deal. Guess who use to bitch that America was always coming up short and getting the shaft on our deals with other countries? The same guy angling to give the Saudis a discount. Hey, Trump-ass, how about making sure we’re getting a good deal? Wasn’t that supposed to be your whole thing? 

Then Trump forgot where Israel was. While in Israel, he remarked that he just come from the Middle East. Where the fuck does Li’l Donnie think Israel is? Maybe the high density of Jews per square mile confused him and he thought it was in South Florida.

Then it was off to the Vatican to meet the Pope. Yeah, the Pope. The same Pope that Li’l Donnie got into a Twitter feud with last year. Yep, Trump decided to pick a fight with a guy with a direct hotline to God. Given that Trump got elected, I don’t think God’s answering his phone. So Trump and the Pope were going to have a meet-up? AWKWARD!

Get a load of this photo.

The Pope does NOT want to be there with Trump. And the Pope is a nice guy. He loves everybody in the whole damn wide world.

Except this one guy.

In case you’re wondering about why Melania and Ivanka are dressed in black, they are not in mourning for the death of their souls in service to the orange tinged clown. Turns out, there’s a dress code for women meeting in a private audience with the Pope: you must wear black and keep ‘em covered. Keep the neckline up and the hemline down. There is an exception to the dress in black rule: if you are a woman who is Catholic and of Royalty, you get to wear white.

OK, that tangent got away from me. Where were we? OH yeah.

The Pope thinks Trump is an idiot.

And Pope Francis is a man of the people.

And then it was on to Brussels which Li'l Donnie once called a "hellhole". So  yeah, they really love Trump in Belgium, don't you know. Trump was there for a NATO summit. Trump has not had many nice things to say about NATO.

So yeah, this meeting is going to go great. 

NATO was ready for Trump. Foreign leaders were instructed not to engage with Li'l Donnie for no more than two minutes which is the limit of Trump's attention span. 

Trump reasserted his complaint that other countries in NATO are not paying their fair share of maintaining NATO. Then Trump spent the rest of the summit haggling over the bill, insisting he only had a salad and a glass of water. 

Hey, get a load this: 



President Donald Trump engaged in some sharp-elbowed diplomacy Thursday when he appeared to shove aside the prime minister of a tiny Balkan country and barge to the front of the pack for a group photo at the NATO summit. 


In a video that quickly went viral, an apparently grimacing Trump can be seen placing his right hand on the shoulder of Montenegro prime minister Dusko Markovic and then pushing him aside during the photo op in Brussels. 

Well, this is fun. 

Oh and there's this: 

Trump Reportedly Calls Germans 'Very Bad,' Vows To Stop U.S.-German Car Sales 

Well, well, well. Maybe Li'l Donnie will start a war after all. Over Volkswagens? Oh, why not?  

There's more to come of Trump's World Tour, brought to you by KFC!

Thanks for dropping by. Until next time, remember to be good to one another.