ENCORE POST: Things I Will Teach My Child

This is from a post I made to this blog back on Sunday, June 9, 2013: Things I Will Teach My Child

#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild The human brain will triumph over brawn...especially when that brain designs an orbiting death laser.

#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild Power should be used wisely..so use the death laser to blow up something minor, as a demonstration of that power.

#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild We all make mistakes, it's how we learn and grow. So you blew up Wilmington DE instead of Wilmington NC? It's OK.



#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild Always think before you leap, a valuable lesson for the next time you calibrate the death laser targeting system.


#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild Beware hubris, embrace humility. So when you tell the world's leaders you have an orbiting death laser, don't brag.


#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild Time is precious; don't waste yours or anyone else's. Upfront tell the leaders "I want a billion $ in gold bullion"


#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild Be clear, don't play games. Just say, "No gold, I blow up Rhode Island in 24 hrs." People will appreciate that.


#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild Life is a gift, treasure it. Remember, people are important to our plans for a slave labor economy under our rule.


#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild Respect & be kind to people. Your best laid plans for world conquest can be scuttled by a pissed off minion.


#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild With great power comes great responsibility. When you use the death laser, be sure the power relays don't overheat.


#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild Oh, and safety first! Be sure to wear your flare proof goggles cause the death laser can put out a lot of light.


#ThingsIWillTeachMyChild Above all else, my child, remember: I will always love you. Now, you & me, kid; what say we vaporize Rhode Island?

 

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As I look over these lessons that I will impart to my child, I am filled withhope for our future, a bright and shining future where the children of Earth can grow to their full potential under the watchful and benevolent gaze of I, your ruler, and, in time, under the rule of my child. 

Before I go, I would entreat you to remember two very important things:

• Education is important always, for children and adults.

• A death laser is in orbit over this planet and it is under my control.

Remember those two things and you will have a wonderful and fulfilling destiny under my ultimate authority.

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