Russia Is Fucking With Us: Threat or Hoax

Hi, Kids!

Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog with that youthful, just rolled out of bed ready to face a new day glow. I'm Dave-El and I rolled out of bed with a "Oh crap! It's all still here" grimace.

Today's topic: Russia Is Fucking With Us: Threat or Hoax? 

 

On one side of this discussion are these guys:  National Security Adviser John Bolton, Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats, Homeland Security Secretary Kristjen Nielsen, FBI Director Christopher Wray and National Security Agency chief Gen. Paul Nakasone, all gathered together in one room to describe what they see as a threat. 

 

FBI Director Wray had this to say: “Russia attempted to interfere with the last election and continues to engage in malign influence operations to this day.”   

 

On the other side of this discussion is their boss.  Donald Trump was in Wilkes-Barre, PA for a rally.

 

"In Helsinki, I had a great meeting with Putin. We discussed everything — I had a great meeting. We got along really well. By the way, that's a good thing, not a bad thing. That's a really good thing. Now we're being hindered by the Russian hoax. It's a hoax, OK? I'll tell you what, Russia's very unhappy that Trump won, that I can tell you.”

 

Now before Sarah Succubus Sanders weighs in on this, let me see if I can anticipate the line of defense on that.

“The president has made it clear he supports his national security team and he supports their findings about Russian interference. The president wasn’t talking about the Russian interference in the election; he’s talking about collusion. As the president has made clear, there was no collusion. Collusion with Russia is a false narrative promoted by media attacks on this president. The hoax is there was collusion. That was what the president meant. There was NO collusion. The collusion is a hoax."

 

Wow. I’m so good at channeling Sarah Succubus Sanders, smokey eye makeup began to spontaneously form around my eyes.  OK, by the time this posts, the simpering she-beast of Satan may have already weighed in on this. I will be surprised if her comments are not something along those lines.    

 

OK, what about this line: ‘Russia's very unhappy that Trump won, that I can tell you.”

 

But in Helsinki, Putin said he had hoped Trump would win the 2016 presidential election.

 

OK, time to channel my inner Sarah. (Locate soul, switch off and GO!) 

 

“Putin may have HOPED that the president would win but he certainly has second thoughts now since this president has been tougher on Russia than any other administration in history.” 

 

(Locate soul, switch on and GO!) 

 

Oh man! I have got to stop doing that! And this black makeup gunk around my eyes is so irritating!