Halloween 6: SSSSSSSS!!!

And here we are again with our Countdown to Halloween of Weird Shit.

Today we are 6 days away from Halloween.





As your recall from yesterday's Countdown to Halloween of Weird Shit post, I wrote of a strange body horror story from Star Trek: Voyager where Lt. Tom Paris is transformed into a salamander, then Capt. Kathryn Janeway is transformed into a salamander. They proceed to have salamander sex which produces salamander babies.

it's a stupid episode.

But it reminded me of something, a movie that I saw when I was just a kid.

Today, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You takes a looking at Sssssssss! 

No, this blog did not spring a leak.

Sssssss is the title of a 1973 American horror film starring Strother Martin, Dirk Benedict and Heather Menzies.

Dr. Carl Stoner sells a mysterious creature to a carnival. Nothing suspicious going on here, right?

Later. Stoner hires college student David Blake as a lab assistant. Seems the previous assistant, Tim, had to leave to "help a sick relative".  Still nothing suspicious going on here, OK?   

Stoner gives David injections to protect him against snake bites. No, nothing to see here. 

There is, by the way, a big king cobra snake in the lab because... science, you know? Just ignore the snake.

Stoner also has a python. As a pet. For... reasons. 
Ignore the snake. Ignore the snake. Ignore the snake.
Ignore the snake. Ignore the snake. Ignore the snake. 

David gets into a romance with Stoner's daughter, Kristina.

Stoner expressly forbids Kristina to have sex with David.

Meanwhile, weird shit is starting to happen to David.

• He's having nightmares.
• He's losing weight.
• His skin is turning grey. With scales.

So here's a big revelation.  

Dr. Carl Stoner is a whack job who thinks humanity is doomed unless people can be transformed into reptiles. The injections he's giving to David Blake is turning the young hapless daughter sexing lab assistant into...

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.....

... a SNAKE!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile,

Dr. Daniels, a colleague of Stoner's, is sure this crazy dude is up to some next level fuckery so he comes around the lab to see what's what.

Shit! Is that the new lab assistant?!?!? Dr. Daniels has got to tell somebody! But Stoner knocks him out and then feeds him to the python.
He's feeding him to a snake??! I'm not watching this! I'm not watching this! I'm not watching this! I'm not watching this!

I want to remind you, dear reader, I was a kid when I saw this! It was on network television! What the hell, people?

Where was the parental supervision? There was zero...ZERO! in the way of parental supervision during the watching of this movie!  

Back to the movie....

Kristina visits a carnival freak show because the plot needs her there so she can see the bizarre "snake-man" and...

OH MY GOD!! IS THAT TIM?!?!? DAD'S OLD LAB ASSISTANT?!?!?

Meanwhile, back at the lab, David is just rolling all over the floor, becoming more and more snake like as...

Guys, I'm not sure I can keep talking about this. I was a CHILD! This movie hurt me!!!! 

But I have begun this post. I must finish it!

It's too late for Kristina to save anyone. David is mutating into a king cobra snake so now Dr. Stoner has two. Except the one he already has is looking at this new interloper, goes all "oh I don't think so" and attacks Dr. Stoner. 

The police arrive to shoot the king cobra  but meanwhile a mongoose is...

Wait! There was a mongoose? That wasn't mentioned before.

Look, I'm dealing with some buried trauma and I can't be expected to keep track of everything!!!!!

Meanwhile a mongoose is attacking David's neck, attempting to kill him. But the police do not have a clear shot, Kristina screams David's name and...

The movie ends.

Wait! What?

Yes, the movie decided it had enough and just... ends.

Good. Works for me. 

This movie actually received a nomination for the Best Science Fiction Film award of the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films in 1975.

It was the 1970s. Standards were low and I'm sure weed was involved somehow.

Anyway...

I'm gonna have a little lie down for a bit, try to get some rest, recover from this experience and...

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

SON OF A BITCH!! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!!!