A Birthday Assesment

"Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."

Or as I like to put it, "Whatever doesn't kill you isn't trying hard enough."

Today marks the 57th anniversary of whatever hasn't killed me yet not trying hard enough.

When I was a kid, I thought 57 sounded old.

Guess what? It is!

I feel like Keith Richards looks.

Keith Richards has actually reached the age he has looked for the last 30 years.

I have reached the actual age I have always felt like for the last 30 years.

There is one burden that is lifted with age: carrying around fucks to give.

The fucks I give about shit that used to bother me when I was younger are smaller in number and it is a liberating experience.

As I mark this milestone in my time on Earth, I am currently without a job. I do feel some concern about this condition. I can't say I do not give a fuck about it but the amount of fucks I do give are smaller and easier to manage.

Some people might take the opportunity of a birthday to reflect on what has gone before, how life has led them to their point in life and the possibilities that lie beyond the moment.

For me, reflecting on the past is to play a dangerous game with regret.  As for what possibilities that await me in the future, I have no idea. If the past week and indeed, the past few months have reminded me, life is what happens when you're making other plans.

All this may seem bitter and cynical. I am aiming for pragmatic.

I know I am in many ways a lucky person. I don't have a job but I have money in the bank, I have a severance package that will keep money in the bank for several months and there are possibilities of renewing my employment with the old employer but in a new field.

I have a wife and a daughter and a house to live in that is paid for. And a car that is paid for.

There are too many people in this world who do not have these assurances.

Maybe I'm not one for looking back or forward. But looking around in the present, well....

It could be worse.

And that is as uplifting and optimistic as I can allow myself to be.

Take care, stay safe and remember to be good to one another.