Tuesday TV Touchbase: Our Flag Means Death

 

So last week, the fam gathered here in the Fortress of Ineptitude to finish off the first season of Our Flag Means Death. 

Our Flag Means Death is described as a "romantic comedy"  about 18th century pirates and the romance is so gay. Not subtext gay but actual you can see them kissing gay.  

You know how certain people lost their shit over the subplot in Lightyear over two lesbians who get married and raise a family? Well, Our Flag Means Death  would make those same people's heads explode.  

The romantic relationships between men are not subtext but the actual frickin' text. Yes, there's sexual tension between Stede Bonnett and Ed Teach, aka Blackbeard. But that moves beyond mere perception to reality when Ed moves into kiss Stede. Or later when Stede confides that he has found true love with someone and that someone is named "Ed". 

But true to form for any romance story, there are obstacles on the road to true love. Thinking he's been abandoned by Stede Bonnett, Ed takes command of Bonnet's ship the Revenge and begins backsliding from the kinder, gentler Edward and back towards his more ruthless Blackbeard persona.  Which results in Bonnet's motley crew being marooned on a island.  Despite the reversion back to form of the harsh and brutal Blackbeard, when alone Ed weeps for this lost love, Stede.  

And what happened to Stede Bonnet? Finding out he's been declared "dead" back home, Stede returns to his wife Mary who has been living a very comfortable and happy life as a widow. Stede's return is a very big inconvenience to Mary's lifestyle. Stede and Mary reach an understanding that results in an elaborate con (that Blackbeard calls "a fuckery") to kill off Stede Bonnet in front of many witnesses while Stede returns to the sea in search of his ship, his crew and this true love, Ed. 

No wonder fans of this show were in a tizzy over whether Our Flag Means Death would be renewed for a 2nd season. (Which it finally was.) 

Our Flag Means Death is a show that defies easy analysis. "It's a funny show about gay pirates" misses so much of the complex humanity on display here.  

Also Our Flag Means Death is a show that could not have been made in an earlier era.  

"Coming to our 1972 fall line up on ABC, it's Our Flag Means Death, a new wacky comedy about pirates starring Adam West as Steve Bonnet with a great comedic cast featuring Don Adams, Jonathan Winters, Phil Silvers, Don Knotts and Paul Lynde."   Paul Lynde would be as close as you would get to a gay pirate.  

As for the real thing, we've got a long wait, maybe a year, before we get to season 2 of Our Flag Means Death .

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here. 

______________________

BLOG BIDNESS

Taking a blog break for a bit. We'll be back on Sunday for a new Cinema Sunday post.   

Trials, Tribulations & Shocking Bombshells?

A lot going on last week to catch up on.  

The House Select Committee investigating the events of January 6th was dropping all sorts of revelations about loser Donald Trump and his sniveling sycophants which which were attached to such descriptors as "shocking" and "bombshells". Look, all the shit we heard about loser Trump in total denial of reality of losing the 2020 election and how loser Trump's cronies were working double time to facilitate this loser's delusions and keep in power were not to me "shocking" or "bombshells".

Loser Trump told the Department of Justice to just say the election was corrupt and Trump would handle the rest? Yeah, that sound like that fucking loser we all know and hate. Hardly shocking.

When pressed by election officials to actually produce evidence of election fraud, Rudy Giuliani never had any. Hardly a bombshell, just the usual incompetence of the only lawyer batshit crazy enough and dumb enough to represent a loser like Donald Trump.

This conspiracy of dunces fueling Trump supporters with lies to rile them up to attack the Capitol on January 6th was all in service to the ego of a loser Donald Trump because it hurts his feelings to be called a loser. 

Which is why I'm putting loser in front of his name so often.  

And then there is that other House Select Committee, this one  investigating the Federal response to the Pandemic and you guessed it?  More shit from loser Donald Trump.  

Dr. Deborah Brixx testified that Trump and his cronies would minimize or totally ignore any negative messages about the pandemic that would hurt Trump's re-election. So loser Donald Trump was more concerned with his own ego in protecting his re-election bid than in providing complete and accurate information to the public? Hardly "shocking" or a "bombshell" to me or to any one who has been paying attention to this fucking loser moron for more than a minute.  

Meanwhile,  Congress passes bi-partisan gun control legislation. On one hand, we're supposed to be excited that Democrats and Republicans actually did their fucking jobs and passed the first gun control legislation in decades? Really? 

On the other hand, this first gun control legislation in decades hardly does any shit. There's some stuff in there about encouraging red flag laws and keeping guns out of the hands of deranged boyfriends and maybe if you're under 21 years old, we might want to look a little closer at you before you buy a gun.  And some sops to mental health. 

But mostly this  first gun control legislation in decades is for show, a demonstration Congress is doing something, anything to keep their jobs. And even then, most Republicans were still against it.

In the shadow of Buffalo NY and Ulvade TX and dozens more incidents of mass gun violence where most Americans are wanting something more to be done about mass gun violence, the Supreme Court decided the answer to that problem is we need more guns.  On Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled that New York's century old laws restricting guns were too restrictive and struck them down.

One argument alleged conservatives make against Federal gun laws is that gun regulation should be a matter for the states. Each state should decide.  

I guess that should read "each state should decide as long as they decide to let people have all the guns they want".   New York decided a different way and the Supreme Court said they were wrong.

That was Thursday and the Supreme Court was just getting started.

On Friday, they dropped the really big boom:

The Supreme Court overturned Roe V. Wade.

A woman's right to an abortion, to decide the fate of her own body and her own health, is not protected in this country.

Hardly "shocking" or a "bombshell" since the fix was always in. 

In case you're wondering, the ruling handed down on Friday pretty much matches the draft opinion on abortion written by Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito overturn Roe V. Wade that was written months ago.  Never mind the merits of the case before them on June 15th, the decision had already been made months before. 

And virtually ever single damn judge who voted to overturn Roe V. Wade had told the Senate in their confirmation hearings they consider Roe V. Wade a settled matter.

These people were lying when they said that.

A "shocking bombshell" of an observation? 

Not to me. 

Cinema Sunday: Lightyear

Last weekend, me and the fam absconded from the environs of the Fortress of Ineptitude to go see a new movie, the Disney/Pixar release known as Lightyear.

Lightyear is a spin off of sorts from Pixar's Toy Story franchise. It is not about the Buzz Lightyear action figure but about Buzz Lightyear, sci-fi action movie character on which the action figure is based.

Some people find this confusing.

Some people are, quite frankly, stupid. 

Putting aside any connections to the Toy Story character, Lightyear is a remarkably solid science fiction adventure that challenges the viewer to think and feel. You know, like the best Pixar films do. 

Buzz Lightyear, a Space Ranger in Star Command, and his commanding officer and best friend, Alisha Hawthorne, explore the planet T'Kani Prime.  The planet is perfectly habitable. Well, except for the tentacle vine things that keep bursting through the surface of the planet to eat people.

Time to beat a hasty retreat.

Maybe a tad too hasty? Buzz damages the ship during lift off. Bad enough it takes a year to fix the ship. Meanwhile a nascent colony has taken shape despite the constant barrage of tentacle vine thing attacks.  

Buzz goes on a test flight to test hyperspace fuel, a key component of the repairs. However, after a four-minute excursion into space, he finds that four years have passed on T'Kani Prime, due to the effects of time dilation from having traveled at relativistic speeds. 

Ouch! Pixar make my brain... hurt. 

Buzz is introduced to Sox, his emotional support robot cat. On one hand, Sox is the movie's blatant marketing pitch for young kids to want their own emotional support robot cat.  On the other hand, Sox is ridiculously effective and so damn useful.  

I want an emotional support robot cat.  

Buzz keeps testing the damn hyperspace fuel but each 4 minute flight eats up 4 years down on T'Kani Prime where Alisha Hawthorne is getting on with her life,  getting married to her wife Kiko.

This is the bit that has gotten Lightyear banned in 14 countries.

Anyway it's montage time as we watch Buzz keeping blasting off into space for  another 4 minute test flight while Alisha ages another 4 years, having children with her wife who in turns begant grandkids, all before Alisha subsequently dies of old age after 62 years.

It's the saddest Pixar montage since Up.

...

...

I'm not crying! You're crying!

...

Oh shut up!

Anyway....

There is a new commanding officer, Commander Burnside, who orders Buzz to stand down from his constant testing. But he does one more test that proves the hyperspace fuel works but instead of losing 4 years,  now 22 years have passed on T'Kani Prime which has been invaded by robots led by the mysterious Zurg.

Hey, it's Zurg, y'all. 

Buzz is most reluctantly joined by Izzy Hawthorne, Alisha’s now-adult granddaughter; Izzy has a lot of Alisha’s spirit and energy but lacks training and experience. Izzy's gang includes 

Mo Morrison, a fresh, naïve recruit who's pretty much useless but damn he's voiced by Taika Waititi so we cut him some slack. And Darby Steel, an elderly former convict who can make anything into an explosive. 

There's a big damn knock down drag out between Buzz Lightyear and Zurg who turns out be...

Buzz's dad? 

Er, not quite. Zurg is another version of Buzz from the future! 

Future Buzz wants to go back into time and stop himself from wrecking the ship that stuck everyone on T'Kani Prime in the first damn place.  Our Buzz who is weighed down by the guilt of what happened that day might normally be on board with this but hell, a lot has happened over the intervening decades he missed out on. If the events of that day were reversed, where would that leave Izzy?

Or Alisha who met a woman she fell in love with and started a family and lived a full life on T'Kani Prime? 

Or everyone who made a life on T'Kani Prime? 

It's an existential crisis as Buzz vs. Buzz.  

Long story made short: Zurg is fought and defeated, Buzz learns a valuable lesson in accepting help from others and gets to be a space ranger again.

The "It's That Person Who Was In That Thing" Department 

• James Brolin is the voice of Zurg.  Not Brolin's first go at personifying a big bad having previously devastated half the universe as Thanos in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.   
• Peter Sohn is the voice of Sox, Buzz's emotional support robot cat. In addition to his director work for Pixar (The Good Dinosaur), he has also provided voice work for Ratatouille and Monsters University.   
• As we mentioned earlier, Taika Waititi provides the voice of Mo Morrison.  In addition to his live action work (I'll be posting about Our Flag Means Death in this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase), he's also done time in the MCU as the director of Thor: Ragnorok and it's forthcoming sequel as well as providing the voice for Korg, a CGI alien made of rock.   

Lightyear has some clever connections to it's Toy Story origins.

• Buzz comment that the terrain of T'Kani Prime is unstable echoes toy Buzz's description of the bed in Andy's room.
• When Alisha is messing with Buzz, he replied "You're mocking me, aren't you?"
• Buzz's incessant monologue reports to Star Command. 

Beyond the character design and these call backs, Lightyear nearly exists as it's own thing.  

Lightyear may not be one for the books as one of Pixar's all time greats but it is a solidly entertaining sci-fi adventure with heart and humor.   

Songs For Saturday: O'Hooley & Tidow, k. d. lang and Joan Jett

OK, it's Lesbian Day here on Songs For Saturday.

I wrote about the 2nd season finale of Gentleman Jack for this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase. So here's the lesbian folk music duo of O'Hooley & Tidow with their song abound history's  greatest lesbian Ann Lister with "Gentleman Jack".   

O'Hooley & Tidow wrote "Gentlemen Jack" years before Sally Wainright began working on her Ann Lister TV project which was going to be called Shibden Hall until Wainright discovered this song. So the show was renamed and this song is the show's closing theme for each episode. 

How cool is that?  

More lesbians? Sure, why not. 

k.d. lang was lesbian before being a lesbian was cool. Here she is with "Constant Craving".  

Do you know what this Lesbian Day here on Songs For Saturday needs?

Another lesbian? Sure!

"Cherry Bomb" was the debut single by the all-female band the Runaways and was written by Joan Jett.  This song is featured in the films Guardians of the Galaxy and Wreck it Ralph.

Jett re-recorded the song with her band the Blackhearts for the 1984 album "Glorious Results of a Misspent Youth". 

Here is the out and proud Joan Jett with The Blackhearts with "Cherry Bomb".     

And that is that for this Lesbian Day here on Songs For Saturday.

Remember to be good to one another and to always keep the music alive.

Oh, and we're not done with lesbians yet.

Tomorrow's Cinema Sunday post is about the new Pixar movie Lightyear which features (hang on to your Space Ranger helmet) lesbians! 

And if you're a straight woman looking to fight the incessant call of lesbianism, well...

...good luck with that.  

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: Coping With Stress with Daffy Duck

FLASHBACK FRIDAY goes back to Tuesday, July 16, 2013 for...

Coping With Stress with Daffy Duck

Sorry, I'm feeling kind of stressed.

Also, apparently, kind of Andy Warhol as well.

DC Pride 2022 #1

 This past weekend, I ventured into my local comics shop, Acme Comics of Greensboro NC, and among the books I picked up was DC Pride 2022 #1, this year's anthology of stories written and drawn by LGBTQ creators featuring DC's LGBTQ characters.  

I had to ask for the book. It seem this year's anthology sold out rather quickly but Acme's owner/manager Jermaine found a copy for me.

While I'm straight, I do try to support this initiative as an ally of my daughter Randie.  

DC's roster of LGBTQ characters has grown considerably including Tim Drake (Robin) and Jon Kent (Superman) coming out as bi-sexual over the last year.   

I understand the Bi label for Tim as he's had a long history with DC which includes more than a few girlfriends including most notably Stephanie Brown.  But I think given Jon Kent's relative newness as a character and the lack of such history, I think DC should've just committed and have him just be gay.  

I guess there is only so far a corporate entity will go regarding the person holding down the mantle of Superman in the DC universe.  Still, I suppose, kudos are in order for going as far they have.  

In the book's 12 stories, most feature LGBTQ characters who are part of the main DC Universe line. These are not just specially designated characters from some sort of Elseworlds type one shot. Some of these stories reference events in various ongoing titles. 

Due to circumstances of time and budget, I'm not completely immersed in the minutia of the goings on in the DC Universe. But I was able to pick up things pretty well. (Probably the Far Sector story was the most confusing for me personally.)   

Most of these short stories are "slice of life" entries, a few moments in the life of a super hero who also happens to be   LGBTQ. There are some perfunctory battles with a super villain but mostly these stories are about people just trying to live their best and most truthful lives.

Not all these stories deal with same-sex couples. The Connor Hawke/Green Arrow entry deals with asexuality.  

The Batgirl entry features Barbara Gordon's friend Alysia Yeoh, a trans woman character Gail Simone introduced years ago.  

Nicole Maines (Dreamer from Supergirl) pens a forward to this book that is part celebration and also sadly part cautionary.  Nicole addresses the aggressive anti-LGBTQ political climate.  Whatever gains that have been achieved that make a book like DC Pride 2022 #1  possible are under siege. 

Speaking of "cautionary", the book ends of a powerfully personal note with a story written by Kevin Conroy, perhaps the definitive Batman actor of our generation, providing the the voice of Batman/Bruce Wayne in Batman: The Animated Series. Kevin's journey as a gay actor is not an easy one with obstacles of homophobic discrimination and abuse as well as fear at the height of the AIDS epidemic.  

It's when Kevin goes into audition for the part of Batman that he was able to craft a sort of answer to his lifelong pain. Batman created dual identities to cope with his pain, his trauma, a mechanism that Kevin understood all too well among the other stories in that it's not about a super hero in their unique world of adventure and action but about a real person who uses the language of the super hero to find meaning, purpose and peace in his own life. 

While anthology books are by nature a bit hit or miss, this collection looks good and is consistently enjoyable. 

Denial Ain't Just A River In Egypt

When the Jan. 6 select committee began holding public hearings, I was less than optimistic about the outcome.

As I've written before "every single damn time we've gotten Donald Trump dead to rights on some stupid and/or criminal shit, every single god damn time, Donald Trump slouches towards the exits facing no fucking consequences for anything."

So far, these hearings have produced a litany of damning testimony and evidence that Donald Trumps and his sniveling sycophantic cronies engaged in repeated and deliberate attempts to overturn the verified results of a legitimate election for Trump's own personal gain. It was an effort that included Trump extolling consistently disproved conspiracy theories to enrage a crowd of his supports to engage in a violent attack on the United States Capitol on January 6th, 2022. 

The malfeasance and lies of Trump and his cronies is obvious and unavoidable, representing an egregious ethical lapse at least or at worst, a wholly criminal enterprise. 

And yet...

Here are two other points I've made in previous posts.  

"Anyone with two working brain cells and a modicum of some common sense is hearing this testimony and thinking, 'Yeah, that sounds about right. That sound just like Donald Trump's standard bullshit.'"  

"Anyone with zero working brain cells and zilch in the way of common sense is hearing this testimony and thinking, 'But the election was rigged and Trump's victory was stolen and Trump had every right to do something about it.' "  

Those people with zero working brain cells and zilch in the way of common sense have come forth to live down to my lowest expectations.   

Following former Attorney General Bill Barr's testimony, there were Trump supporters holding out hope that it just wasn't true. “I’m still hoping Barr is playing a role,” one poster said on a Telegram channel popular with Trump supporters. We've been here before. Whenever any one from Donald Trump's inner circle speaks out against him, the idea gets kicked around that the person is only saying these negative things because their dear leader ordered them to as part of some long range Machiavellian plan or something.  

Many other Trump supporters have been less kind and less hopeful and simply blasted Barr as a traitor.  

Get a load of this theory:  “From 2009 to 2018, DOMINION PAID BARR $1.2 million in cash and granted him another $1.1 million in stock awards, according to SEC filings. (No wonder Barr can’t find any voter fraud!)"

Uh.... not quite.

Bill Barr was paid by Dominion Energy, a publicly traded company in Richmond, Virginia, that provides power to customers in several mid-Atlantic states.

Wrong "Dominion", bro! 

When Donald's own daughter Ivanka Trump testified to the committee that she supported Bill Barr's assessment of the election, one Trump supporter went with the "it's all part of Donald Trump's great plan" theory.  “I can just imagine Donald Trump telling Ivanka: ’Hey, go to this hearing, say these things. Screw with their heads.'"   

And then there's this cockamamie idea: that's not Ivanka and these hearings are not really happening. 

The hearings are a Hollywood production starring stand-ins for the former president’s daughter and others.

One poster noted about Ivanka,  “She looks different in a big way. CGI?”

Meanwhile, the Republican Party of Texas adopted a resolution at its state convention that rejects President Joe Biden as the winner of the 2020 election and aligning the state party establishment with Donald Trump's false election claims.

Sigh.

So while  the Jan. 6 select committee holds public hearings presenting clear and concise information that Donald Trump is a crook, his followers persist that he is not a crook but a great martyr to a great cause.  

And within the hallowed halls of Congress itself, Republicans take up the cause of dismissing this investigation as witch hunt while repeating Trump's baseless lies about the 2020 election.

Facts mean nothing. 

Tuesday TV Touchbase: Gentleman Jack

OK,  a bit late with this but the week before last, Andrea and I watched the 2022 Tony Awards. Andrea is a big fan of The Music Man and I figured it was a chance to see a performance of the much ballyhooed Broadway revival starring Hugh Jackman and Sutton Foster.  

The cast put on a spirited performance of "76 Trombones" which gave some insight to the some of the mixed reviews I've seen. It's a perfectly fine performance with lots of energy and enthusiasm from Jackman and Foster but there's a certain rote quality to it, nothing really new from when Robert Preston was Professor Hill in the original show. 

Billy Crystal did a number from Mr. Saturday Night that we quite enjoyed and a production from Paradise Square that neither Andrea and I had heard of before was very powerful.

OK, I've seen performances from Six twice now (last year during the Macy's Thanksgiving parade and during the Tony Awards) and nothing will convince me to like this show.  It casts the 6 wives of Henry VIII as pop music divas and it just doesn't work for me at all.   

The host was Ariana DeBose who I had no familiarity with but damn she was a terrific host. She did a musical bit about hosts going out into the audience which included sitting in Andrew Garfield's lap. 

OK, I'm posting about an awards show from 2 weeks ago to avoid the evitable, to post about Gentleman Jack. 

Don't get me wrong.  I continue to enjoy Gentleman Jack but the 2nd season has ended and I didn't want it to.  

While Anne Lister is busy flitting about building a hotel and casino as well as her on going efforts to become a major coal mining magnate in addition to influencing elections and what not,  Ann Walker is dealing with the division of the estate left to her and her sister Elizabeth by their late father.  Elizabeth's conniving husband Captain Sutherland has got his hooks into Elizabeth's half of the property and if he has his way, he'll have a grip on Ann Walker's share as well. The nefarious Captain seeks to gain influence over Ann Walker's estate by calling attention to her "unnatural" relationship with Anne Lister.  

While Ann Lister and Anne Walker living together in Shibden Hall is very much the subject of idle gossip in Halifax and rife with the potential of scandal, their  "unnatural" relationship is not quite the deal breaker Captain Sutherland thinks it is.  

The look on Sutherland's face when he's forced to sign the papers agreeing to the division of the estate is the look of a small minded man who's done been beat by a woman and doesn't like it. And there's fuck all he can do about it. 

Not that Captain Sutherland should worry long about Ann Walker's "unnatural" relationship with Anne Lister as the tapestry of their union is fraying at the edges. Far from fragile and timid woman we met in season 1, Ann Walker is no longer afraid to assert herself against the Captain Sutherlands of this world or for that matter to speak her mind firmly and forcefully to Anne Lister. 

For all her progressive views, Anne Lister does frequently comport herself as a typical husband, being dominant and "logical" to Ann Walker's more "emotional" perspective.  

Here in the 21st century, there are numerous sources of literature and support systems of what it means to be in a lesbian relationship. In the England of the 1840's, Anne Lister and Ann Walker are having to make up a lot of this as they go along.  And Lister for all her years of experience of living with her sexual orientation and her time of being a force in a business world dominated by men doesn't always get it right. Anne Lister makes unilateral decisions about her life with Ann Walker and even if made with good intentions, she  struggles to accommodate Walker's role in their marriage. Through Lister's own guidance, support and encouragement, Ann Walker has become a stronger, more assured and confident woman and will not play the role of the quite and demure good wife.   

There's a point where Ann Walker is not convinced living with Anne Lister at Shibden Hall is a good idea.  

But by the time the season finale episode ends and the whole nasty business with Captain Sutherland behind her, Ann Walker reaffirms her commitment to Anne Lister, promising to go into town on Monday to re-do their wills, each woman making the other her heir.

Anne Lister acknowledges the road ahead of them is fraught we challenges, that as she puts it, the only 2 people in the whole world who wants them together are the two of them. 

The camera pulls up as we watch their carriage go up the road towards a future open wide to both of them, ready to face what comes, good or bad, together.  

As much as enjoy watching Gentleman Jack  explore this time and this world and this wonderfully drawn characters and yes, I very much would like to see a season 3 sooner rather than later, this does seem like as good a spot as any to end this journey.  

Will Anne Lister ever finish sinking those damn coal pits?

Will her hotel/casino be a boon or a bust for Halifax? 

Will Anne do something with the depressingly dark interior decor of Shibden Hall? 

Can we convince Ann Walker to go with less poofier sleeves?  

These are questions that would be nice to answer but I am content to know what Anne and Ann are together.  I really want these two crazy kids to pull this off and make it work, even though a world is aligned against them. 

Anne Lister and Ann Walker sparking some 1840s lesbian energy

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here. 

The Work Is Never Over

As the Civil War came to a close in 1865 and more than two years after Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation,  people remained enslaved where the news of slavery’s end had not reached.  As was the case in Texas until June 19, 1865, when Major General Gordon Granger arrived with federal troops in Galveston and issued an order freeing the nation’s last slaves.

This day became known as Juneteenth Independence Day or Emancipation Day which is now a federally recognized holiday.  

Just as slavery did not magically end with Lincoln’s proclamation or with the end of the Civil War, it bears acknowledging that the battle even for freedom for all is ongoing.

Anywhere and at any time that anyone is not afforded unfettered access to the rights of life, liberty and the pursuit  of happiness, the fight is not over.  

Unfortunately we live in a time where there are deliberate actions underway to restrict or deny unfettered access to the rights of life, liberty and the pursuit  of happiness to citizens of our country 

Just as Major General Gordon Granger had to ride into Texas to free slaves two years after Abraham Lincoln already did that, we can never assume the work for freedom for all Americans is ever over.

 

Cinema Sunday: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman

Last week's Cinema Sunday looked at Oscar winning classic From Here to Eternity, a classic motion picture preserved in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant".  

This week's film... isn't.

Today, film fans, allow me to introduce Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.

This 1958 independent sci-fi horror film was written by no one you ever heard of, directed by no one you ever heard of  and starring no one you ever heard of. 

It's a about a woman who...

(Let me check my notes.)

grows to.....hmm!

(rustling through papers) 

50 feet and then....

(strokes beard thoughtfully) 

...Attacks! 

In the last 10 minutes of the movie. 

Most of it's short 70 minute running time is taking up with some shenanigans involving Nancy Archer, a wealthy but very emotionally fragile woman who has to put up with a big glowing orb thing she encounters in the desert.

And also her philandering husband Harry and his floozy of a mistress Honey who spend an inordinate amount of town canoodling and dancing and what not at Tony's Bar and Grill where we learn this movie's most important lesson.  

I was watching this one lazy Sunday afternoon with my wife Andrea and my daughter Randie.  It was Randie who became obsessed with figuring out a sign that was appearing rather prominently on a wall behind Harry and Honey. 

After pausing, rewinding and slowly advancing the movie one frame at a time, we translated the sign: 

"We Make the Best Spaghetti In Town" 

And you thought Harry and Honey were just hanging out at Tony's Bar and Grill for the sex. 

Later, when Nancy starts growing into a....

(reviews notes) 

50 foot woman and.... hold on....

(puzzles a moment) 

...attacks, Nancy destroys Tony's Bar and Grill. 

And we all wondered, "Where will people go now for the best spaghetti in town? Will someone else step up to now make the best spaghetti in town? Will people have to go out of town now to get decent spaghetti?" 

These questions are left unanswered as Honey is crushed under rubble of Tony's Bar and Grill and the ruin's of Tony's dreams of making the best spaghetti in town.  

Harry is crushed in the palm of Nancy's hand as her gargantuan form stumbles into some power lines, shocking her into oblivion, her body too big to survive, her heart too broken to love, her soul too shattered to ever know the warmth and comfort of the best spaghetti in town.  

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman was remade in 1993 in a film directed by Christopher Guest and starring Daryl Hannah in the title role.

I have no idea if the remake addresses the question of who makes the best spaghetti in town.

Perhaps it's best that some of life's mysteries remain unanswered. 

Let poor Tony and his dream making the best spaghetti in town just rest in peace.   

Songs For Saturday: As Heard On TV with Kate Bush, Blondie and Pat Benatar

 

For this week's Songs For Saturday, the theme is "As Heard of TV".

Starting off the play list, fresh from new notoriety from Stranger Things, is Kate Bush with "Running Up That Hill".  

Next up on this week's play list is "Rapture", performed correctly by Debbie Harry and Blondie.  

This is "Rapture" performed most assuredly incorrectly by Jensen Ackles as Soldier Boy in a recent episode of The Boys.   

Next up is Pat Benatar's "Shadows of the Night".  

"Shadows of the Night" was performed earlier this year on an episode of Star Trek: Picard by Allison Pill as Agnes Jurati merged with the Borg Queen.  

And that's a wrap for this week's Songs For Saturday.

Thanks for listening, remember to be good to one another and to always keep the music alive. 

FLASHBACK FRIDAY - Father's Day: No Test For Being Dad

This coming Sunday is Father's Day so for this week's Flashback Friday, let's dive into the ol' temporal well back to Sunday, June 15, 2014 for a post I called....

Father's Day: No Test For Being Dad

To drive a car...

• I needed to take a class. 
• Then pass a test. 
• Then prove I could drive. 
• Then get a license. 
• First, I take another test. 
• Then prove again I can drive. 
• Then I get a license. 
• And don't forget about getting a licence plate for the car. 
• And insurance.  

So there's a lot that the state requires of me before I can get behind the wheel of a car. 

Not so much for being a dad. 

"Well, your mom looked kind of hot in that halter top and cut offs and since there was nothing good on TV..." 

I never saw myself as parent material. I think I'm still too petty and self centered...in other words, too much a child myself...to be responsible for raising a child. 

But one thing led to another as my wife and I agreed on the rather sensible course of allowing our screwed up DNA to co-mingle and produce an uber screwed up progeny.  

At first our efforts to get pregnant were unsuccessful. Eventually we decided to focus our efforts on just getting her pregnant and not us. We had even more luck when we discovered the fallopian tube does NOT go down the throat. (See, sex education is IMPORTANT!)  

But eventually she did become pregnant and eventually a baby popped out. Actually, the doctors and nurses had to go in and get her, the little stubborn thing. Efforts to induce labor over several days (yes, DAYS! And damn well you better believe my wife remembers THAT!) did not yield the desired result (unless it was to totally piss off my wife which in that case, great going, guys!). 

So a C-section was ordered. Guys, here is a wonderful opportunity to see the wonders of modern medical science at work on the human body. My recommendation: let that opportunity pass. 

So they scooped out of my wife this... thing, some weird pinkish-purplish alien creature all covered in goo. 

And I've never felt more in love with anybody in my life! Even now, 13 plus years gone by, I still feel the echoes of my heart pounding in my chest from that miraculous moment.  

And here's the thing: I had no clue. I still don't! Oh there are books and websites and forums and classes and commiseration with other parents over (many) glasses of wine but still, more often than not, I'm making this up as I go along. I may not be the best dad in the world but I try, oh how I try, to be the best dad this petty and self centered person can be. Thankfully I've had help from a most unexpected source. 

Shortly after Randie was born, I was asked (as so many people were asking) how the baby was and I advised that the baby was just fine. Then I was asked, "And how are Mom and Dad doing?", sympathetic to our exhaustion as new parents. I answered, "Mom and Dad are tired and still a little unsure of ourselves. But that's OK. Thankfully the baby knows what she's doing." 

It's amazing to watch a child develop, watching pieces fall into place to form the person they will become. On this day, Father's Day, I want only the gift that I'm given every day: to be amazed.  Amazed by her wit and her intelligence and her charms. 

And long past the day I first met that weird pinkish-purplish alien creature covered in goo, I am amazed at how much I still love her. 

Father/daughter time
on Free Comic Book Day in 2008

Doctor Who: This Guest Star Is Legen (Wait For It!) Dary!

 While there is still one more Doctor Who episode to go in the Jodie Whittaker/Chris Chibnall era, all the excitement and attention is focused on what comes after, the return of Russell T Davies as head writer and showrunner and next year's 60th anniversary epic.

The latest news to come out of the RTD Doctor Who shop is that none other than Neil Patrick Harris is joining the cast.

And this is what he's gonna look like. 

I'm getting a Derek Jacobi as the Master vibe from this. 

NPH as the Master? Well, why not?

Actually, the most prevalent theory online is the Neil is going to be a classic antagonist not seen since the William Hartnell era, the Celestial Toymaker! 

How crazy is that?  

Here's Russell's comment on this casting news: 

“Neil Patrick Harris, welcome to Cardiff! Playing the greatest enemy the Doctor has ever faced. Such a great actor, such a great man, it’s an honour and a hoot. Have fun.”

Here's what Neil had to say on this revelation: 

“My current gig. Never looked more dashing!  Thank you for inviting me into your Whoniverse, @russelltdavies63 . I’ll try my hardest to do my worst. This Doctor has no idea what’s in store. And even if he does… Who cares? Ha ha ha HA ha-ha-ha!”

Neil Patrick Harris on Doctor Who?!?! 

I can't frickin' wait!

And we have had more reports of David Tennant and Catherine Tate on set so whatever's up with those two ain't done yet. 

I'll say it again: I can't frickin' wait!

This Time Will Be Different?

Last week I wrote about the Jan. 6 select committee holding public hearings, I was less than optimistic about the outcome.

I noted that every single damn time we've gotten Donald Trump dead to rights on some stupid and/or criminal shit, "every single god damn time, Donald Trump slouches towards the exits facing no fucking consequences for anything."

I am the very least reluctant and the very worst loathed to ever expect this time will be different. 

The constant drumbeat of one singular message comes through loud and clear: whether through malevolence, delusion or just plain stupidity, Donald Trump consistently rejected anyone who wasn't telling him what he wanted to hear, that the election was rigged and Trump really won it.  

In testimony before the committee, a long line of people from Trump's inner circle has asserted that any effort to provide a factual accounting of the 2020 election was rejected.  

Former Attorney General William Barr told the committee that Trump was increasingly “detached from reality” as he asserted, again and again, that the election was stolen.

Trump responded to Barr's statement with "He sucked!" 

Ivanka Trump, Li'l Donnie's own daughter, agreed with the assessment that the election results were that Trump lost.

Not surprisingly, Li'l Donnie threw Ivanka under a bus. 

But the parade goes on, person after person who assert that there was no credible evidence to support Trump's claims of fraud and person after person who assert that Trump wasn't listening to any of them. Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani had outsized influence with Donald Trump because Rudy was willing to indulge in every single crackpot conspiracy theory to support Trump's delusions. 

The upshot to anyone paying attention is a portrait of a deranged individual who let his own petty ego stir up an enraged crowd to attack the Capitol.   

The problem is who is paying attention? 

Anyone with two working brain cells and a modicum of some common sense is hearing this testimony and thinking, "Yeah, that sounds about right. That sound just like Donald Trump's standard bullshit."

Anyone with zero working brain cells and zilch in the way of common sense is hearing this testimony and thinking, "But the election was rigged and Trump's victory was stolen and Trump had every right to do something about it."   

I have no faith that the scales will fall from the eyes of the MAGA faithful. 

But if (and it's a mighty big if and nothing short of a miracle) the MAGA faithful could see their great leader for the feckless and cowardly scam artist he is, maybe, just maybe I can dare hope this time will be different. 

But I fear that my faith in honesty and clarity and justice is not as strong as the faith of the MAGA supporters in their beloved leader.   

Tuesday TV Touchbase: The Boys

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been catching up on season 3 of The Boys on Amazon Prime Video. 

So here we go. This is my review of The Boys: 

People 'SPLODE!

The end.

...

...

...

OK, maybe I should elaborate a bit. 

The Boys is set in a world where super heroes are real and that's not a good thing. 

Supes are for the most part dysfunctional narcissists who are micro managed by the Vought Corporation.  These super powered beings don't spend a lot of time doing hero stuff but mostly shooting movies and TV shows about themselves to serve as propaganda.   

When super powers intersect with normal people, bad things happen. Do you know what happens when a super speeder hits people at super speed?

People 'SPLODE!

Guess what happens when a supe with heat vision zaps a normal person. Yep...

People 'SPLODE!

Then there's the woman whose power is to actually make people 'SPLODE!

Poor Hughie Campbell thought Victoria Neuman was one of the good guys, a congresswoman who publicly opposes Vought.  Turns out she's secretly the adopted daughter of Vought CEO Stan Edgar and uses her power to assassinate Vought's enemies.  And what is her super power?  

She can make people 'SPLODE!

It's not a side effect of her power. It is her power. 

Meanwhile Billy Butcher who hates supes more than anyone actually uses a Vought compound to temporarily give himself powers.  Being bulletproof? Good.  

Out of control heat vision? 

Makes people 'SPLODE! 

OK, this is a sick one.  What happens when a guy with shrinking powers goes inside his gay lover's dick then the cocaine in his nose makes him sneeze and he suddenly expands? 

People 'SPLODE!

Damn this is a sick show!

Meanwhile, Homelander, our Superman expy, is in a pyschotic spiral. Stan Edgar makes Starlight co-captain of the Seven because her poll numbers are better than Homelander's.  Homelander's taken a hit with the revelation that his super powered girlfriend Stormfront was a Nazi.

No, not one of those polo shirt wearing Tiki torch toting wannabe Nazis who marched on Charlottesville. No, Stormfront was an actual fucking German fucking Nazi who was best buds with Adolf fucking Hitler.  

Homelander's son flash fried Stormfront with his heat vision last season, leaving Stormfront with half of a deformed face like she's Two Face or Jonah Hex and a burned up torso with only 1 good arm.

Which she uses to give Homelander a hand job. Yuck! 

Stormfront commits suicide by biting off her own tongue which is how Hillary Swank's character takes her own life in Million Dollar Baby and I've never seen Million Dollar Baby so I don't know how I know that but I wish I didn't because damn, that's depressing as fuck.  

Stormfront's death is just one damn thing too many for Homelander and he goes on live national TV to tell us exactly what he thinks of everyone. Homelander is Jesus and only he can save everyone! 

This is not quite the deal breaker you might think it would be with the American public. 

What or who could possibly stop Homelander now? The answer lies with a hero from long ago, a patriotic themed super hero known as Soldier Boy.

Enter Jensen Ackles from Supernatural.  

The Boys continues to entice with nuanced character work and a detail examination of the effects of fame and the impact of propaganda. 

And it continues to disgust when people 'SPLODE! 

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.