This week we're off on the Road to Morocco.
A sea freighter explodes and two stowaways, Jeff Peters (Crosby) and Orville 'Turkey' Jackson (Hope) find temporary safety on some floating wreckage until they float onto a tropical beach.
Oh look! A camel! How convenient! And the two ride into town.
Where Jeff sells Orville into slavery.
Don't worry, Jeff promises to buy him back.
Well, that's all right then!
But the buyer is a beautiful Arabian princess named Shalmar (the decidedly not Arabian Dorothy Lamour).
Shalmar wants Orville for a sex toy. (Look, it's Bob Hope, that can't be right.)
It seems there is a prophecy that Shalmar's first husband will die a horrible death, leaving the princess clear to marry Kasim who she doesn't want to die a horrible death.
Feeling guilty for selling Orville into slavery (Ha! Slavery's funny, innit?), Jeff infiltrates the palace but Orville doesn't want to be saved (he's gonna get laid and no one has clued him in on the "horrible death" thing).
Jeff and Shalmar have an encounter where Jeff slow jams a romantic ballad with that honey smooth Bing Crosby baritone that will make a woman super horny or very sleepy (it could go either way).
Shalmar falls hard for Jeff.
Meanwhile, Mihirmah, one of the princess' handmaids, has taken a tumble for Orville. Orville's all "I'm with the princess now" until he learns about the prophecy and decides getting laid by the princess is not worth that whole "horrible death" deal.
Orville and Mihirmah make a run for it.
Meanwhile, being in love with Jeff is not healthy for Shalmar to be hanging around with Kasim.
Jeff and Shalmar are on the run.
Kasim is angry!
Kasim has an army!!
And they'll all got swords!!!
Is this getting needlessly complicated?
Look! Paramount Pictures paid for a 90 minute Bing Crosby/Bob Hope "Road" picture and by God, it will be 90 minutes!
There's a lot of running around, mugging for the camera ("I mock you, Fourth Wall, and fart in your general direction!"), sneaking around, almost but not quite getting into fights.
Long story made very short: Jeff, Orville, Shalmar and Mihirmah will all wind up clinging onto a pile of wreckage in New York harbor.
And that counts as a happy ending!
And that my friends is the Road to Morocco.
It was a thing that exists.
It checks all the boxes for a Crosby/Hope road picture. We had a few laughs and maybe we learned a thing or two.
Like do not sell your best friend into slavery.
It's not as funny as you think it is.
Next week on Cinema Sunday, we move from goofy comedy to some dark sinister stuff with a pre-code horror film called Doctor X.
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