The White Hot Rage of the Pale Tourist

I've long been a fan of the comedy of Jim Gaffigan. Working from the perspective of "it's funny because it's true", Jim's struggles are my struggles.  

Here's what Jim has to say about camping. 

"People always say 'he is not a happy camper'. Why not just call him a camper? You know who's a happy camper: the one leaving the campsite! He the happiest camper, he gets to take a shower!"

"If the great outdoors are so great, why did we invent indoors?"

I agree with that 100%. I am not a fan of the outdoors. 

Gaffigan's routines frequently involve eating and being lazy. Hey, I like eating and being lazy.  

Gaffigan also includes frequent high-pitched, stage whispered asides, meant to represent a hypothetical, easily-offended audience member.  Here is a bit from Jim Gaffigan involving the whispered aside.   

Jim Gaffigan (speaking out loud): "Hot Pockets should come with a warning label that states 'Warning: You just bought Hot Pockets! Hope you're drunk or heading home to a trailer! You hillbilly, enjoy the next NASCAR event!'"


Jim (whispering) as the Hypothetical Audience Member: "Hey, I like NASCAR! He's a jerk." 

Well, the Hypothetical Audience Member would've been having a field day when last week, the normally apolitical Jim Gaffigan decided it was time to get some things off his chest. 

What ensued was an EPIC Twitter rant by Jim Gaffigan against Donald Trump as well as those Trump supporters who keep falling for his con game. 

Whoa! 

The normally chill, unflappable Jim Gaffigan had a lot of white hot rage to get out of this system.

It did not go unnoticed.  

Wow. Donald Trump made Jim Gaffigan, the chilliest dude, snap completely.

Didn't have "Jim Gaffigan runs clean out of fucks" on my bingo card.

Jim Gaffigan was letting Donald Trump and his supporters have it with both barrels and woe be unto you if you tried to fire back.

Later, Jim Gaffigan posted on Facebook a comprehensive review of what what he did and why. 

Here is some of what Jim wrote with some asides from the Hypothetical Audience Member that I've tossed in.  


Jim Gaffigan: On the Thursday night I went on a twitter rant about the RNC and Trump. 


Hypothetical Audience Member: "It was more like a tirade! Somebody needs to stand in a corner for time out."

Jim Gaffigan: I must have been drunk? (I wasn’t)

Hypothetical Audience Member: "I know a Mountain Dew fueled tirade when I hear one, mister!"  

Jim Gaffigan: I was angry, cursing while tweeting out things that contradicted everything I stood for as a so-called “clean Catholic comedian” 

Hypothetical Audience Member: "You are WAY overdue for a confession, buster, let me tell you!"  

Jim Gaffigan:Trump is a great salesman.  Possibly the best salesman I’ve seen in my lifetime.  I don’t care how many businesses he has driven into the ground or contractors he’s screwed over.  Trump is charming, funny and comes across as sincere.  

Hypothetical Audience Member: "This does not sound like a compliment!"  

Jim Gaffigan: I might not have agreed with Bill Clinton, George W, or Jimmy Carter on a lot of things but I do believe they had the best intentions. I don’t think Trump does.

Hypothetical Audience Member: "Trump HUGS the American flag! What more do you want from the man?" 

Jim Gaffigan went on to say, "So if I believe I won’t sway any voters, why speak out like I did? Honestly, I feel I had no choice at this point.  I think Trump is ruining and possibly has already ruined my country.  For me this isn’t a debate about the size of government, taxes, health care or even abortion. I miss the days when those were the topics I would discuss with friends. I feel a responsibility to coming generations, my children but selfishly I didn’t want to explain to my grandchildren that I didn’t fight to stop Trump.  Maybe they will see that I stood up for decency, rule of law, and equality.  That’s way more important to me than selling out an arena. "

For the complete text of Jim Gaffigan's remarks, click here.  

Jim Gaffigan gave expression to the rage I've been experiencing for the last 4 years.  

1) Our issues with Donald Trump go beyond any differences of opinion about economics, diplomacy or other political topics. The issues Jim and I have with Donald Trump go to the core of his being a person completely lacking in competence, ethics or human empathy. 

2) Jim and I both see that Donald Trump deficiencies in competence, ethics or human empathy are not a matter of subjective opinion but of objective fact. How can anyone, regardless of age, sex, wealth, education, faith or political affiliation look at Donald Trump and not see someone lacking in competence, ethics or human empathy? 

3) Seriously, why can't people see that? Who are these people with their MAGA hats and their unadulterated devotion to a man who really doesn't give one damn fuck about them, about a man completely lacking in competence, ethics or human empathy?

4) AAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

To summarize

• Donald Trump is pulling a con!
• Donald Trump is obviously pulling a con!!
• Donald Trump's supporters refuse to see they are being conned!!!
• AAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

The white hot rage of the pale tourist is understandable. And if Jim Gaffigan thinks "I believe I won’t sway any voters", perhaps he underestimates his influence. 

I think there are a lot of people out there, typically apolitical middle class Americans who have the common sense to see that Donald Trump is completely unqualified to be President but have been reluctant to say anything lest one gets pulled into a reactionary political debate that typically apolitical middle class Americans don't want to get pulled into. 

Gaffigan's carefully cultivated apolitical, middle American appeal means maybe other apolitical, middle Americans can see that it's OK to say out loud what I think most ordinary people can clearly see: "I think Donald Trump is full of crap!" 

And if you're not going to listen to Jim Gaffigan, what about Charlie Brown?