Cinema Sunday: How to Steal a Million

 And we're back! 

After a multi-day break, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You returns to....

...do whatever the hell it is we do here.

One day I really need to sit down and write up a mission statement.

Well, today is Sunday which means it's time for...

Cinema Sunday.

Last week, I wrote about a less than stellar movie set in Paris that lured me in with the winsome sex appeal of Ann Margret. 

She was hot. The movie was not. 

This week, we return to Paris and once more I am lured in by winsome sex appeal, this time from Audrey Hepburn.

This time that winsome sex appeal is in service to a far better movie, How to Steal a Million, a 1966 American heist comedy.   

The movie introduces us to Paris art collector Charles Bonnet who also forges and sells famous artists' paintings. For an important exhibition in Paris at the Kléber-Lafayette Museum, Charles lends his renowned "Cellini" Venus statuette. 

Charles did not forge this statue. But his dad did so yep, still a fake and if it gets tested, this "million dollar" work of art gets exposed and Charles along with it. 

This is where Nicole (Audrey Hepburn) comes in.Worried her father could go to jail if the true nature of the statue is revealed, Nicole decides to steal it.

Which is where Simon Dermott (Peter O'Toole) comes in. Simon is a suave, sophisticated man of the world and a master thief. So Nicole elicits his help to steal the statue.

Nicole and Simon hide themselves away in a utility closet after the museum closes wherein Simon begins a plan to subvert the alarm system... by deliberately setting it off.

It's a trick I once read about in one of Donald Westlake's Dortmunder novels.

1) Set off the alarm, retreat and watch what happens.

2) Security guards jump to the alert and police officers urgently arrive but... there's nothing happening. 

3) Set off the alarm again, retreat and watch what happens.

4) Security guards saunter about and police officers not so urgently arrive but... there's nothing happening. 

While all this is going on, Nicole and Simon are getting into each other while snug in the utility closet.  

Meanwhile, the security chief keeps getting angry phone calls from irritated dignitaries who live near the museum bitching about all the noise! 

Off goes the alarm system! 

Time to steal the statue!

Nicole is all excited over her first museum heist.

And Simon's kind of thrilled over his first burglary as well.

Wait! What?

It seems Simon is not quite the master thief Nicole was led to believe but is actually an art gallery expert on the subjects of security and forgeries. 

Well, all's well that end's well. Nicole and Simon run off to elope while dear daddy Charles Bonnet has certainly learned his lesson. Or maybe not as we see him meet a buyer for his "authentic" Van Gogh.   

Much like in the movie Charade,  Audrey Hepburn's character is trusting in a man who is not who he says he is but it's OK. Who she thinks Simon is and who he really is are both charming so it works out OK.  Nicole's growing aptitude for lying and sneakiness as her and Simon case the museum and instigate their heist is fun to watch.  

And Peter O'Toole is captivating as Simon, playing his cards very close to his chest as he works out the details of his scheme to steal the statue and ultimately disposes of it in a way that will protect Nicole's father and put her mind at ease. 

The evolution of Nicole and Simon as a couple is amusing and natural. Running off to elope at the end of the film does not feel forced as sometimes these things do in American romantic comedies.  

The actual heist of the museum does require some hefty suspension of disbelief but the main point of this movie is the genuine and engaging chemistry between Audrey Hepburn and Peter O'Toole. 

How to Steal a Million is a nimble comedy, light on it's feet and very much a pleasant diversion of a movie.