Eggstraordinary Circumstances

OK, so apparently we're in the middle of an egg shortage.

Well, it's always some damn thing or another, ain't it?  

So why the hell is this thing? Why the fuck eggs?  

Bullet point time!!

• Deadly avian flu outbreak in the U.S.
• Inflation
• Legacy supply chain problems
• Holiday demand 
• Longer lead time needed to restart egg laying flocks 
• The villainy of Egghead, perhaps?   

"Holy poached egg, Batman!"

"Over easy, old chum!"  

This has led us to the eggstraordinary circumstances of  fewer eggs and the ones we have cost more.

Apparently this has been going for a few weeks but I wasn't paying attention. 

I have had a complicated relationship with eggs.

When I was a much younger Dave-El, I was really bad at cooking eggs.

Eggstremely bad, you might say. 

I was bad at preparing eggs in any form.    

Bullet point time!!

• Fried
• Hard boiled 
• Soft boiled
• Poached
• Scrambled 
• Omelet 

Preparing eggs requires an eggquisite sense of timing. You can't go too long or too short. I could never quite master the timing to not have eggs seriously underdone or burnt.  

I've only recently mastered (which I feel is not the right word to use for reaching a level of mere competency) how to make a consistently decent cheese omelet.  

Watching Julia on HBO Max was not only entertaining but educational. "Cheese omelet" in French is "omelette du fromage".  I can't credit that knowledge to Julia Child but to an episode of Dexter's Laboratory.

Between high school and college, I took 4 years of French and the only French I know is from a Cartoon Network show? Yeah, that sounds about right.  

The secret to cooking an egg appears to be as follows: 

Bullet point time!!

• When you think you should stop cooking the egg, don't.
• When you think you should let the egg cook a little longer, don't.

The egg is plotting against you. Think like the egg and then do the opposite.  

Andrea's first lie to me as my wife was around the subject of eggs. When we were first married, I would make us breakfast on weekend mornings, she wouldn't eat the eggs citing she didn't like eggs.  

Fair enough. 

Some time after we were married, we happen to be having breakfast with her grandparents and Andrea devoured her eggs and asked for more. 

She admitted she does like eggs but mine were not good. 

Well, saying my eggs were not good was not true. My eggs sucked.  

My eggs sucked eggs. 

With age, experience and some tutelage from Julia Child, I have improved my egg preparing skills but Andrea will not eat my eggs.  Out of guilt or fear, I'm not sure.  

I have become rather proficient at making an omelette du fromage in about 2 minutes which sometimes makes for a nice, quick lunch for myself.  

Although I haven't made one in a couple of months and I was getting a hankering for one. 

Then I discovered the egg crisis. 

Which means for now the answers is "non" to may I have an omelette du fromage for lunch.  

Tomorrow on Your Friday Video Link, we'll have more on the subject of the egg shortage from the eggsperience... 

...of a bird.