This is a line from the final episode of Hacks.
It's been said in this series before and realizing the context of how that heartbreaking line ties together with what has gone before, I felt exactly why I've really enjoyed this journey with this series.
The HBO Max series stars Jean Smart as Deborah Vance, a long time stand up comedian who has parlayed her popularity into a lot of conspicuous wealth and Hannah Einbeinder as Ava Daniels, a young and very progressive queer comedy writer whose liberal sensibilities clash with those who accumulate conspicuous wealth.
Over the course of 5 seasons, Deborah and Ava have had a... volatile relationship.
Deborah has belittled Ava, threatened her, even sued her.
Deborah was obsessed that Ava's hands were too big.
Ava in turn blackmailed Deborah to get the head writer gig on Deborah's late night talk show.
Suffice to say Deborah and Ava have not always been good to one another.
But in the long run, over the course of Hacks 5 seasons, they have been good for one another.
Initially put off by Deborah's ostentatious wealth and her caustic wit, Ava comes to realize what Deborah has sacrificed, what costs she has paid to achieve her success and to lay the foundations for women like Ava to have a chance to succeed in comedy.
And Deborah has come to accept and understand what Ava has to say about the world and the struggles that still persist for women to have a say and make a difference.
What has come out burnished over 5 seasons is a strong and abiding friendship despite their initial animosity.
Deborah sacrificed her lifelong dream to host a late night network TV talk show to protect Ava.
Ava sacrificed her own ambitions to help Deborah fight to restore her legacy as one of America's premiere comedians.
Which brings us to the series penultimate episode: "The Garden".
Network and studio boss Bob Lipka brutally enforced Deborah's non-compete clause when she quit her show and she's been unable to perform in public for over a year. That clause finally expires and Deborah is ready for her triumphal return to the biggest stage in the world, a sold out show at Madison Square Garden.
Except....
That motherfucker Bob Lipka has struck again.
The real reason the MSG show sold out so quickly was Lipka bought ALL the tickets.
(Ja Rule pulled a similar stunt on 50 Cent by buying out 200 front row seats at 50 Cent concert.)
Greeting Deborah Vance on her big night at the Madison Square Garden is a vast empty arena with only Bob Lipka in attendance.
He is still trying to silence Deborah.
Well, here's a big ol' FUCK YOU to Bob Lipka.
In true old fashioned "Hey kids! Let's put on a show!", Deborah and her gang set out to stage a free show in Central Park.
There are obstacles (such as the New York City permit office) BUT...
The show goes on with 30,000 people in attendance. Which is more than the capacity of MSG so take that, Bob Lipka, you asshole!
Which brings us to the grand finale of Hacks.
And the writers pull the rug out from under us. Hard!
Deborah confides to Ava that she has cancer.
And she has no intention of going through with any treatment.
Deborah has regained her voice, restored her legacy and does not see life getting any better than this. She wants to go out on top, alive and happy, not wasted away and miserable from chemo.
Deborah wants to take Ava to Paris for one glorious vacation and then it's off to Zurich to an assisted suicide clinic.
Since it's Deborah Vance, it's the best assisted suicide clinic on the planet.
Ava is NOT okay with this.
Ava agrees to go with Deborah and support her but she also doesn't try stopping to change Deborah's mind.
"Please don't leave me."
A few seasons ago, Deborah taught Ava to swim. Helping her to learn how to float in the pool, Deborah starts to back away but Ava says "Please don't leave me."
In another episode, Deborah and Ava are on a hike, get lost and Deborah hurts her ankle. Ava suggests going off on her own to find help but Deborah pleads with Ava, "Please don't leave me."
In the finale, sitting across from each other as Paris twinkles against the night sky, as Deborah refutes on more entreaty to reconsider going through treatment, Ava with tears in her eyes begs, "Please don't leave me."
Oh my God! If I wasn't emotionally dead inside, I think I would've cried.
While waiting in Paris for the train to Zurich, cracking jokes about her own demise, Deborah has an epiphany.
"Maybe I have one more hour in me."
Deborah agrees to persue treatment while Ava helps her write on more stand up comedy special.
And that's a wrap.
OK, Hacks, hear me out: "Please don't leave me."
Sorry, it's a done deal and the series is over.
But what a finish! Damn!
I know all that I just covered was very emotional and dramatic but Hacks was a genuinely and consistently funny show.
Deborah teaching Ava how to drive a stick shift while navigating a traffice circle in Paris in a teeny tiny European car? Ava's plaintive cry of "Why are we doing this in a rough draft of a car?" was so funny!
And the scene at the cafe when Deborah asks Ava to hold up her hand and Deborah rests her palm against Ava's? Ava's astonished "My God! Your hand is bigger than mine?!?!" and Deborah doubling over laughing and "I can't believe you never noticed!"
After five seasons of ups and downs, the story of Ava and Deborah is a love story. Not a romantic one but one of a enduring friendship born between two people who could not be more fundementally different but each having what the other needed to heal what was broken.
One more time: "Please don't leave me."
Well, Hacks has left but I will not forget the experience of watching this very funny and provocative series.
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As we move from the fictional stand up comedy of Deborah Vance, there is a Tuesday TV Touchbase Too about a very funny and provocative (there are those two words again! I need a thesaurus.) stand up special from Taylor Tomlinson.
That post will go live in about 4 hours.
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