Schrödinger's Tortoise.

Today we're gonna be chatting about Mitch McConnell seen here with the mortifying realization of what the fuck is going to happen to him....

...is DEAD! 

...is NOT dead!   

It's Schrödinger's tortoise.

Several weeks after paramedics were called to his home, 

the status of Sen. Mitch McConnell  remains unknown.

The rumors abound that McConnell is in a coma or brain dead,

or being kept alive by machines.

Or alive  and well enough to have a 20 minute chat wih CNN

conservative pundit Scott Jennings.

And a 20 minute call with Rep.  Thomas Massie.  

So the rumors of McConnell's demise seem to be unfounded.

Or Jennings and Massie are lying. 

Both alternatives can't possibly be equally true. 

Me, I'm leaning towards Jennings and Massie are not quite being

honest with us.  Really? Both phone calls were 20 minutes?

Fine! I wanna play too! 

I had a phone call with Sen. McConnell where we discussed for

20 minutes the best way to make banana pudding. I think Mitch 

agrees that like revenge, banana pudding is a dish best 

served cold.  

My wife Andrea spoke on the phone with Sen. McConnell 

for 20 minutes toponder why that platypus in the corner is 

wearing a fedora.  

Rose the Dog had a 20 minute phone conversation with Sen. 

McConnell where the discussion was "Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!" Rosie was somewhat recalcitrant about what she

said back to him.

Apparently there are some political shenanigans that I admittedly

do not fully understand about why it is important that Mitch 

McConnell not be dead, at least right now.  

Until we open up Schrödinger's box to determine which timeline

we're in, the one with a dead tortoise or the other one, allow me

to indulge in some nostalgia.

Back in 2013 and 2014, I ran a feature called Broken News, 

a weekly post of news and political satire.

Satire is comedy that if it's not funny, it's your fault.

Mitch was  a frequest guest in Broken News and actually

got his own recurring part, something I called...

AWKWARD MOMENTS

AWKWARD MOMENTS

AWKWARD MOMENTS

AWKWARD MOMENTS

AWKWARD MOMENTS

with 

MITCH MCCONNELL 

MITCH MCCONNELL

MITCH MCCONNELL

MITCH MCCONNELL

MITCH MCCONNELL

Who knows? By the time this posts, we might have a definitive

answer to the question if Mitch McConnell is alive or dead or

hovering in limbo somewhere in between.  

But until then, I gotta say this has been kind of fun.

The most I've had with the manipulative miscreant since 2104.

Go to the light, Mitch! Go to the light.....

Dave-El's Spinner Rack: Batman

It's time for another look at the most recent comics I purchased from the world's best comic book store, Acme Comics of Greensboro NC.

Today's focus: Batman! 

We're gonna start with Batman Vol. 3#163 and the continuation of Hush 2.  

Otherwise known as Poorly Conceived Cash Grab.  

"I have fallen" are the first three words in panel 1 of page 1.

Well, that much is true.  

Batman's narration begins with that terse confession as we begin with the Caped Crusader down in the sewers with the Joker and a motley collection of Batman's foes.

Batman is not the only one being fucked over by Hush.

Poison Ivy says, "Hush betrayed us all!"

So I guess we're going with that old chestnut, the "enemy of my enemy is my friend"? 

Which is why we get this "All NEW, All DIFFERENT BAT FAMILY!"

Joker speaks with a stylized logo! 

Meanwhile, the traditional Bat-Family has assembled to take down Batman! 

Batman actually saved the Joker who had been mortally wounded by Hush.  

Nightwing thinks Bruce is in trouble and needs help.

Batgirl thinks saving Joker was bullshit and isn't at all happy with Batman right now.

Joker put a bullet in Barbara Gordon's spine that left her paralyzed for an extended period of time.  

It's Bat-Fam vs. Bat Man but something's not right.  

The Batman they're fighting is Clayface.  

The real Batman sent Clayface to keep his family away from the fight with Hush. 

Which goes badly for the Bat when Hush stabs him right through the heart.  

Then Talia al Ghul shows up, shoots Hush through the head and spirits away Batman to a Lazurus Pit. 

Which revives Batman to live again as he rises from the pit and embraces Talia for a big damn kiss and we have reached...

The end. Of Hush 2. Part One.

Oh for the love of God, we're not done with this yet? 

Do not swear me in to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about what happened in this issue.  I think I got the broad strokes down but...

I've read through this issue at least three times and I remain uncertain as to the details as to what exactly is happening and why. 

Jeph Loeb's script is puntuated by big moments that carry little impact, undone by a nonsense story and questionable characterizations.  

I would normally say the issue at least looks nice with art by Jim Lee, Scott Williams and Alex Sinclair but even that seems undermined by murky visuals that do not clearly show us what's happening.  

It's been six months since issue #162 to produce this mess. 

Allegedy the second half of Hush 2 will continue as it's own seperate limited series as some unspecified date.

Maybe I'll tell Jermaine to NOT pull that book for my box at Acme Comics and put me and my wallet out of our misery.

Or maybe DC might do us all the favor and have the back half of Hush 2 go the way of the last Jim Lee Bat-project, All Star Batman & Robin, and just... not happen.  

Now on to much better Bat-comics!  

"Trust the plan."  This is Bruce's mantra to his team as Matt Fraction's captivating run on Batman continues with Vol. 4 #9.

Gotham's police commissioner, Vandal Savage has unleashed all out war against Batman and his associates.  

The plan seems more like a strategy for defeat.  Bruce concedes as much: "So tonight, we're going to lose."  

Duke Thomas (The Signal), Stephanie Brown (Batgirl) and Damien Wayne (Robin) are pressed into service to clear out various bunkers Batman has hidden through out the city, just ahead of the Gotham City Police who are on a scorched Earth course of action to eradicate the Batman, his associates and all his materials.  

Acting as Oracle, Barbara Gordon is coordinating their activities.

Bruce has a side issue of not being prepared to deal with Damien's teenage moodiness after Damien accidentally outed Bruce to Dr. Zeller a few issues back.

Something that holographic AI Alfred gives Bruce some grief about. 

On the next page...

Bruce: "I don't miss you at all, Pennyworth and I'm glad you're dead."

AI Alfred: "I shall see you in hell,Master Bruce. Good luck."  

"Trust the plan." 

The plan involves Batman and Robin blowing up Wayne Manor.

"Trust the plan." 

The plan also has Barbara Gordon being arrested as an associate of the "terrorist" Batman.  

We see Barbara willingly surrendering to the cops who burst into her clock tower lair. 

But the last page shows a disheveled Barbara with a bloodied lip and a broken glasses being perp walked out of a GCPD van.

Which sets up the new mini-series Barbara Gordon: Breakout as the erstwhile Batgirl/Oracle navigates life in prison.  For awhile anyway.  "Breakout" is in the title.

Issue #9 features another excellent turn by guest artist Ryan Sook but it's time for Jorge Jiminez to return with issue #10.

Commissioner Vandal Savage is having a good day.

Batman and his associates are in hiding. 

One of those associates is in jail.  

Batman's bases of operation have been compromised.

And Savage is bragging about it in front of every camera and microphone he can find.

"The end of the lawless reign of this urban terrrorist after years of inaction and outright complicity in his crimes... and I'm the one that ended it."  

Savage thinks he's won.

Batman is ready to disavow him of that notion.

Remember....

"Trust the plan."  

A pre-recorded message from Barbara Gordon assures the Bat-Fam that everything is going to the plan she and Bruce worked out and in the end...

Gotham City belongs to the Batman! 

Now THIS is how to write a Batman comic!

"Trust the plan."  

I certainly trust Matt Fraction.  

__________________________________

Next week:  As Barbara Gordon faces off with criminals behind bars, let's take a look back at her beginning as a crimefighter.

It's "The Million Dollar Debut of Batgirl".  

This (Non) Sporting Life: Midday Baseball

Yesterday, I got paid to watch baseball in the middle of the day.

It's another edition of This (Non) Sporting Life, a blog post about sports by a guy who does not know much and cares even less about sports.

(Wait! Two of these "This (Non) Sporting Life" posts in a row? For "a guy who does not know much and cares even less about sports", that's a lot of sports!)  

The occasion was a company event for employees to have some "fun" watching the Greensboro Grasshoppers.

If you call sitting in the baking hot sun with an overpriced hot dog watching a game I was not invested in "fun".

To be fair, I did not pay for the overpriced hot dog, my employer did that. And I have to admit it was a very good hot dog.

But $6 for a plain hot dog is a lot. 

And damn, the weather was hot.

As I exclusively work from home these days, this was a rare chance to perhaps get in touch with some people from when I worked in the office.

Which is ironic because when I did work in the office, I would actively try to avoid interacting with people. Now I'm choosing to do that when I don't have to?  

I saw exactly 3 people I knew. Dude, where is everybody I used to know? It's enough to make me feel old if I didn't already feel old just getting up in the morning.

The potential onset of heat stroke wasn't helping my disposition.

Before I left the cool safety of my work from home, my boss told me relax and stay as long as I wanted.

I made it to the 3rd inning before I called my participation in this "fun" due to thermal nuclear meltdown.

Hey, here's Guilford the Grasshopper who has a really GREAT job being a total goofball for a living AND the absolutely WORST job having to work in a fur suit in 90+ degree weather.

Here's a selfie of me and I have questions.

• Who am I?
• Why am I here?
• Do I remember where I parked?
• Should I get another hot dog?

The heat is getting to me.

Well, the ball game got me out of the house which is a rare thing. I hardly go anywhere outside the Fortress of Ineptitude. 

Such as when I make a semi-regular pilgrimmage to Acme Comics.

Which brings us to the 2nd post of the day.

Up in a few hours: Batman! 

Who I am sure does not go to midday baseball games.  

This (Non) Sporting Life: World Cup Sucker Punch

A big sporting event of worldwide importance is going on and I haven't written abou it on my blog.

Said event is the FIFA World Cup, an international contest in the game of soccer which is being played here in the United States as well as venues in Mexico and Canada.  

I haven't written about it because it don't know much about soccer and quite frankly, I care even less.

Welcome to another edition of This (Non) Sporting Life, an irregular feature of this blog about sports written by someone who does not know much or care about sports. 

By all accounts per my admittedly very limited understanding, the World Cup has been going very well.  

The United States' team has been holding their own and advancing through this tournament.

There was an unfortunate incident while the U.S was playing Portugal when the American's star forward Folarin Balogun stepped on the ankle of an opposing player.  This earned Balogun a red card.  

A red card is a penalty that removes a player from the field for that game and prohibits the player from participating in the next match as well.  

Much like a flagrant foul in college basketball, a ref handing out a red card is not looking to determine intent. Did Balogun mean to step on that player's ankle? It doesn't matter, it's still a prohibited action and there are consequences for doing something wrong.

Which brings us to Donald Trump.

I mean, it shouldn't. Why the unholy fuck does Li'l DOnnie need to be concerned with what's going on in World Cup soccer?

Because Trump is an expert on sports. 

“I’m a person that loves sports and was a good athlete. And I understand sports really well. Really well. And that wasn’t a foul. That wasn’t even an infraction."  

So der Führer made a phone call or three to FIFA President Gianni Infantino.

Infantino was the guy who created and presented a FIFA Peace Prize to Donald Trump after Trump petulantly whined about not getting a Nobel Peace Prize.    

And for the first time in 64 years,FIFA overturned a Red Card ruling and cleared Folarin Balogun to play as the United States readied to take on Belgium.

Trump tried to pull a Steve Urkel with a "Did I do that?" response.

“All I did, all I did, I asked for a review ’cause I didn’t think it was a foul. And again, I’m good at this stuff. I didn’t think it was a foul. I thought it was two great athletes who crashed into each other and got entangled.” 

Then Li'l Donnie began claiming the referee was untrustworthy. 

“This referee, who is a little bit suspect if you check his past. I don’t want to say that because I don’t like to create controversy. But very suspect.”

Do I need to tell you that Trump offered NOTHING to support his claims the ref was "suspect"?  

So a lot of goodwill about the World Cup games and all these different people and cultures coming together for the sheer joy of the sport of soccer just gets shredded under a cloud of suspicion caused by Donald Trump's unwarranted interference.

Jesus H. Christ! Can we NOT go ONE damn day without this lying, petulant, bullying, unintelligent, sociopathic, dishonorable, treasonous, gutless, moronic, heartless, soulless, slimy, loathsome, vile, incompetent, psychotic, crooked, disgusting, reprehensible, revolting, horrible, malicious, obnoxious, hateful, narcissistic, small-minded, despicable god damn, motherfucking piece of shit making every goddam thing about himself? 

As an American, I'm supposed be rooting for the United States team.  But given Trump's fuckery, I almost hope Belgium kicks their ass.

And they did! 

Belgium shredded the Americans in a 4-1 win Monday night.  

The Trump curse strikes again!  

Tuesday TV Touchbase Too: General Hospital

Starting July 2nd, Andrea and I added General Hospital to our TV viewing schedule.   

There's some stuff 'n' junk going on at an art gallery in Port Charles.  The WSB (GH's version of the CIA or Interpol or some damn thing) is up to some sketchy shit involving the theft of something called "the device". 

Oh boy! When I first watched GH in college back in the 1980's, the first plot I got caught up in was about a device.  In that case, it was a FREEZE RAY! 

Is this "the device" a FREEZE RAY?  Sadly, no.  It is a COLD Fusion thingy so there's that. 

So a WSB head named Collum has turned rogue and is stealing the cold fusion thingy.  A couple of WSB agents still on the good guys side, Cassius and Josslyn, get caught up in a gun fight with Collum and his minions on the loading bay at the back of the art gallery.  

Long story made short:

• All the gunmen working for Collum: shot! 
• Cassius: shot! 
• Josslyn: shot! 

Collum shows up to gloat over a wounded Cassius but Josslyn, despite being shot in the gut, aims a rifle at Collum and...

• Collum: shot! 

Then things get interesting! 

A sleek black helicopter lands in the parking lot.  Surrounded by heavily armed guards, a man with slick black hair and a dark blue suit emerges and....

Hey! Isn't that John Oliver from HBO's Last Week Tonight? 

Yes, it is and the reason why Andrea and I are watching General Hospital.  

One of the gunmen ain't dead yet.  

The mysterious man in blue pulls out a revolver and casually shoots him in the head. 

He leans over the badly wounded Josslyn to reassure her, “Everything's gonna be OK. I'm here to help.”

I'm not sure we should feel reassured. 

Hey, if the video link is still up, you can watch this for yourself.

So what the hell is John Oliver doing on General Hospital?

A few months ago on Last Week Tonight, Oliver laid down a challenge to all the daytime soap operas to cast him in a role.

He didn't want to play himself, he wanted a solidly soap opera type character, someone preferably with a weird name and a duplicitous, shadowy background, 

General Hospital answered the challenge and cast John Oliver as "Z", the mysterious head of the WSB.  

Z is looking to clean up the mess left by Collum's betrayal and is prepared to reshape the truth to save the WSB's reputation. If he can get Josslyn's cooperation.   

I was impressed with John Oliver's performance and so was one of his co-stars,  Laura Wright, who plays Carly Spencer and acted in scenes with Oliver

“We had no idea what to expect. A lot of times, people like to come on and make fun of what we do, and I'm not a big fan of that. Our job is as important as anyone else's, and we don't consider it a different type of acting or anything like that. So, I was so impressed with the writing that honored what he does well while also staying true to what we do, and how he showed up and delivered. It was incredible.”

Wright added about Oliver's performance,   “If he was nervous, you couldn't tell. He was perfect with his lines. We were in the middle of a very intense storyline that has been building for months, so it's really funny that he stepped right in and didn't miss a beat. You would think he's been on the show!”

I agree with Laura Wright that John Oliver was such a seamless fit in the world of General Hospital.  He really felt like he belonged there.  

John Oliver expressed appreciation for his experience. “General Hospital was everything I hoped it would be. It's a true honor to be a small stain on the history of this illustrious show."

Here's another video link of Oliver talking about his time on the show.  

General Hospital was not the only soap opera that came calling.  Days of Our Lives also cast John Oliver in what appears to be a more broadly comic role.  

Andrea and I got a big kick out of John Oliver's turn on General Hospital which ended yesterday.  

And we're done with General Hospital.  

I think.  (I am TRYING not to care about all the subplots we encountered in our 3 day visit to GH.)

That is that for this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase AND the Tuesday TV Touchbase Too!

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.   

Tuesday TV Touchbase: Brilliant Minds

Boy, yesterday's post was a bit of bummer, wasn't it?

Did I watch anything related to July 4th and celebrating America's birthday?

I caught up on Lucy Worsley's PBS special on the American Revolution.  God knows I love Lucy, her clever insights and her distinctive fashion choices. (She spends part of the special in silver wedged heels paired with white bobby socks. It was so cute!)  

I also caught the NYC fireworks on NBC.  Somehow I missed the part where the Brooklyn Bridge caught fire.

And I caught some random bits of ABC's Disney Celebrates America such as David Muir climbing up to the torch of the Statue of Liberty. (That was pretty darn cool.)

The always unbiquitous Ryan Seacrest was on hand to host musical segments from Disneyland.

Look like he was having fun but as you gathered from yesterday's post, I was not in the mood to party.

Onward! It's time for the Tuesday TV Touchbase. 

Last week, Andrea and I checked ourselves out of Bronx General Hospital.

While the rest of America checks in to Seattle's Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital over on Grey's Anatomy or the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center on The Pitt, we chose to hang out with the gang at Bronx General on Brilliant Minds.

And now we have reached the series finale.  

Frequent promotions for Brilliant Minds during the 2024 Summer Olympics compelled Andrea to really want watch this show. God bless her but she is easily influenced by marketing.

Hey, the show stars Spock from the Kelvin timeline Star Trek movies so, hey, why not? I'm on board too.

So that's two people watching the show.

And not may others beyond that, it seems. 

Brilliant Minds went on a break for this year's Winter Olympics with 6 episodes still to go in season 2.  It was during that break that NBC announced the show would not be renewed for a season 3.  And those last 6 episodes would air during the summer.

I fully expected NBC to renege on that deal and say to hell with it and burn 'em off on Peacock or some damn thing.  

But NBC followed through and ran those 6 episodes as promised.

So we got to see the resolution of the Hudson Oaks storyline.  In the first episode of season 2, we got a flashforward to Dr. Oliver Wolf as a patient at the psychiatric facility and desperae to escape.  

Over the course of the season, we were witness to Wolf's slowly unravelling mental health to the point he was hallucinating a patient named Sofia and at the pre-Olympic break sees the timeline catch up to Wolf being admitted to Hudson Oaks.

Hudson Oaks actually does Wolf a lot of good in his recovery from his mental breakdown. But there is some sketchy shit going down as Dr. Fredericks, the administrator, has a bad habit of denying patients their release when they are otherwise well enough to leave. She's bilking insurance companies for excessive stays and pocketing those funds into her own bank account.

SPOILER: Dr. Fredericks gets busted! 

The final 6 episodes also give us some resolution to the will they/won't they between Dr.Oliver Wolf and Dr. Josh Nichols.

Reminder: Brilliant Minds is as gay as fuck. 

Dr. Dana Dang breaks up with her paramedic girlfriend but has a one night stand with Sofia.

Wait! Wasn't Sofia part of Wolf's hallucinations?

Is Dana hallucinating Sofia now?

No, she is real but her name is Margot and she turns out to be the sister Wolf didn't know he had from the 2nd family he didn't know his father had.

Meanwhile, Josh and his boyfriend Beau break up because Beau wants to get married but he sees that Josh is still hung up on Oliver Wolf.  

Which Josh can't argue with that.  

Near the end of the episode, Josh shows up at Oliver's home with a fern.  (Oliver, a consumate medical professional who has saved the lives of many people, has an ongoing battle with keep plant life alive.) 

Josh says, “This thing has taken over my life. It’s unpredictable, stubborn, moody, I never know what it needs, it’s all I can think about." 

Guys, I don't think Josh is talking about the fern. 

Even the frequently oblivious Oliver can figure that out.   

And we get a big damn kiss.

Again: Gay. As. Fuck. 

Not knowing that NBC was going to cancel the show, the producers do button up a few dangling plot lines but some are still flapping in the wind.

• Erica thought she found her birth mom.  The woman denies it but hey, we out here in TV land can hear the dramatic music cues and we know something is up with that.
• Carol and her ER doctor boyfriend hit a serious bump in the road after he commits an ethetical violation when he defies Cariol's diagnosis of a patient.  
• Did Dr. Charlie Porter actually turn a corner to become a nice guy after spending most of the season actively plotting against Dr. Wolf? Wolf forgave him and Wolf's team of interns have slowly started to accept him.  Andrea and I are not sure we do.
• Is Margot going to hang around to be a sister to Oliver? And give Dana another roll in the hay?

The episode ends with Oliver and Josh on vacation together in Mexico with Carol along as their designated straight 3rd wheel.

But a medical crisis has struck their resort and the trio spring into action and....

We're done.  

Brilliant Minds was a smart show that challenged it's audiences expectations and made you think.  What defined this show was not so much the medical genius on display with each impossible case but it's dedication to empathy, the insistence on seeing the world through each patient's eyes.   

Brilliant Minds deserved a better fate and it will be missed.

________________________________

We're not quite done! 

We go from Bronx General to General Hospital.

The classic ABC soap opera landed on our viewing schedule recently and I'll tell you why.

The TuesdayTV Touchbase Too is back and will post in a few hours later this morning.