---------maybe Shakespeare? Stan Lee? Well, it was somebody.
___________________________
Scene opens: Chik-Fil-A drive thru
Dave-El: ...and that is how Aquaman is able to communicate with the platypus as well as fish.
Randie: Wow, that is so...not at all helpful.
Dave-El: Oh, mock me if you will. How many other dads can explain to their daughters how Aquaman's mental telepathy with fish actually works?
Randie: I think maybe just you.
Dave-El: Exactly! But now you know which will give you an advantage in the work place when you get older. Use that knowledge wisely.
Randie: I'll try to keep that in mind.
Chik-Fil-A woman at pick up window: Hello! You have the two #1 combos with fruit cups and small milk shakes, larges fries and another small milk shake?
Dave-El: Yep, that's the one!
Chik-Fil A woman: That will be $21.65!
Dave-El (hands over credit card): Here you go.
Chik-Fil A woman: Would you like any sauces with that?
Dave-El: Just mayonnaise for the sandwiches.
Chik-Fil A woman: OK. Here's your credit card back. And here's your order. It's been a pleasure serving you today.
Dave-El: Thank you!
Chik-Fil A woman: My pleasure!
Dave-El (slowly driving away, low voice): My pleasure.
Randie: Dad! Quit being weird. And creepy.
Dave-El: Hey, check the bags, make sure our order's right.
Randie: OK, looks like 2 sandwiches, 2 fruit cups, my fries and...whoa!
Dave-El: Whoa what?
Randie: Oh my God! There's so much mayonnaise!
Dave-El: <Snort!> Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Randie: What? What's so funny?
Dave-El: J...just...that....Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Randie: Are you all right? Do you need medical attention?
Dave-El: No, no! I'm...I'm....Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Randie: OK, nothing's that funny.
Dave-El: What you said...
Randie: What did I say?
Dave-El: Oh my God! There's so much mayonnaise! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Randie: OK, that's not that funny.
Dave-El: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Randie: I mean, they put like a dozen packets of mayonnaise in here!
Dave-El: Oh my God! There's so much mayonnaise! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Randie: Oh for crying out loud...
Dave-El (gasping): OK! It's OK! I'm cool. I've got it together.
Randie: Good.
Several moments of silence while Dave-El and Randie travel down the road. Suddenly...
Dave-El: Oh my God! There's so much mayonnaise! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Randie: Geez!
Dave-El: Sorry!
Randie: Why do I have a bad feeling this is going to wind up on your blog?
Dave-El: This? On my blog? Don't be ridiculous! How could I get a blog post out of this?
Randie: So this is not going on your blog?
Dave-El: Nah, never gonna happen.
------end prologue
____________________________________
Day One
Ellen's day was about over. She would take one last call and call it a day. But that one last call would shake Ellen Chambers to her core and change her life.
Forever.
"911. What is the nature of your emergency?" Ellen said with a calm but professional demeanor.
At first there was no sound. Ellen asked again, "911, how can I help you?"
Then she heard a strange gasping sound. Was someone having trouble breathing?
Ellen pressed on again: "You've reached 911. Are you having a medical emer--"
Then the caller spoke. A shiver went down Ellen's spine as she heard a voice filled with dread.
"Oh my God! There's so much mayonnaise!!!"
________________________________
Tomorrow:
Day Two
_____________________________________
But before you go, some non-mayonnaise related nonsense.
____________________________________
And now....this!
____________________________________
Thanks for dropping by. Until next time, remember to be good to one another.
Oh, if you really, really can't stand this stupidity, Doctor Who stuff is coming in 6 days.
Dave-El
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You
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