Today is graduation day for seniors at my daughter's high school and she will be in attendance. No, she's not graduating yet; please don't rush that, OK? But her high school chorus will be performing at the ceremony, a choral tribute to the music of Ariana Grande.
I don't know who the commencement speaker is going to be but I, as a prolific pontificator of prodigious proportions, am prepared to speak if called upon. I will be in the neighborhood when I drop off Miranda at the coliseum where the graduation is being held.
So just to make sure I'm ready to go, let me put together this...
My Commencement Address to the Class of 2016
To the high school graduating class of 2016, to your principal, teachers, parents, family, friends and probation officers, I am honored to be here with you on this most special occasion.
So to the high school seniors of the class of 2016, let me assure you that it's all downhill from here. But hey, you're graduating today. So...there's that.
Thank you, good luck and don't forget to have your penguin spade or neutered.
Oh, and I'm so glad my suffering amuses you. Free plug for the blog.
NOTE: Neither Ariana Grande nor penguins were harmed during the writing of this post.