Hi
there! Welcome to I’m So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, a shadow puppet blog
adrift in a CGI internet. I’m Dave-El and I took machine shop classes at Trump
University.
If
you are floating aimlessly in a dark and desolate void, that’s because there’s
no Earth to stand upon after yesterday’s earth shattering post that I was
taking a break from the blog.
In
the first 2 years of this blog (2013 and 2014), I used to do that all the time.
And by taking a break, I mean I wouldn’t post any shit at all on this blog.
But
since January 1st, 2015, I have posted something to this blog every
single damn day. Sometimes, if I had plenty of rest and took my vitamin E, I’d
post twice.
While
I think I need a blog break, I’m not ready to give up this streak of posting
every day.
So
I’ve got things ready to post in advance…including this post. See, I’ve been on
my blog break for a couple of days already and you didn’t know it. So rest easy,
dear blog readers, both to my regular readers and to those who accidentally
came here thinking it was an S&M porn site.
So
what’s coming up?
Both
tomorrow Sunday and the Sunday of next week will feature Doctor Who stuff as is
my want. In both cases, these posts will feature installments of my ongoing Doctor
Who fan fiction, Lifetime Companion.
In
between those two Sundays, the posts appearing on this blog have something to
do with this thing that you’ve been seeing at the bottom of posts since Monday.
To quote the great American president Abraham Lincoln:
“What
the fuck is Mayonnaise?”
Well,
that may be a little harder to explain. In fact, I don’t think I will. But I would like to think that Mayonnaise is my
answer to Beyonce’s Lemonade.
Except
lacking her incredible talent.
And
her natural performing abilities.
And
her expansive popularity.
And
her charisma.
And
her beauty.
And
her charm.
And
her.....
OH MY GOD! SHE'S GLOWING LIKE AN ANGEL FILLED WITH THE POWER OF A THOUSAND SUNS!!!!
OK, I think I’ve made my point.
OH MY GOD! SHE'S GLOWING LIKE AN ANGEL FILLED WITH THE POWER OF A THOUSAND SUNS!!!!
OK, I think I’ve made my point.
Anyway….
Last
year I faced a similar scenario which led to a series of pre-planned posts
called “Ask Doctor Hitler”. If you go back and check those out, you may come
away feeling… a little bit worried about the state of this blog and the quasi-madman
who writes it.
Don’t
worry. Mayonnaise is going to be different. For example, those posts will not
have Doctor Hitler in them. Nor this woman:
OK,
that’s that for today’s post. Thanks for dropping by and remember to be good to
one another. Come back tomorrow for Episode Seven of Lifetime Companion, my
Doctor Who script.
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