Schrödinger's Tortoise.

Today we're gonna be chatting about Mitch McConnell seen here with the mortifying realization of what the fuck is going to happen to him....

...is DEAD! 

...is NOT dead!   

It's Schrödinger's tortoise.

Several weeks after paramedics were called to his home, 

the status of Sen. Mitch McConnell  remains unknown.

The rumors abound that McConnell is in a coma or brain dead,

or being kept alive by machines.

Or alive  and well enough to have a 20 minute chat wih CNN

conservative pundit Scott Jennings.

And a 20 minute call with Rep.  Thomas Massie.  

So the rumors of McConnell's demise seem to be unfounded.

Or Jennings and Massie are lying. 

Both alternatives can't possibly be equally true. 

Me, I'm leaning towards Jennings and Massie are not quite being

honest with us.  Really? Both phone calls were 20 minutes?

Fine! I wanna play too! 

I had a phone call with Sen. McConnell where we discussed for

20 minutes the best way to make banana pudding. I think Mitch 

agrees that like revenge, banana pudding is a dish best 

served cold.  

My wife Andrea spoke on the phone with Sen. McConnell 

for 20 minutes toponder why that platypus in the corner is 

wearing a fedora.  

Rose the Dog had a 20 minute phone conversation with Sen. 

McConnell where the discussion was "Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!" Rosie was somewhat recalcitrant about what she

said back to him.

Apparently there are some political shenanigans that I admittedly

do not fully understand about why it is important that Mitch 

McConnell not be dead, at least right now.  

Until we open up Schrödinger's box to determine which timeline

we're in, the one with a dead tortoise or the other one, allow me

to indulge in some nostalgia.

Back in 2013 and 2014, I ran a feature called Broken News, 

a weekly post of news and political satire.

Satire is comedy that if it's not funny, it's your fault.

Mitch was  a frequest guest in Broken News and actually

got his own recurring part, something I called...

AWKWARD MOMENTS

AWKWARD MOMENTS

AWKWARD MOMENTS

AWKWARD MOMENTS

AWKWARD MOMENTS

with 

MITCH MCCONNELL 

MITCH MCCONNELL

MITCH MCCONNELL

MITCH MCCONNELL

MITCH MCCONNELL

Who knows? By the time this posts, we might have a definitive

answer to the question if Mitch McConnell is alive or dead or

hovering in limbo somewhere in between.  

But until then, I gotta say this has been kind of fun.

The most I've had with the manipulative miscreant since 2104.

Go to the light, Mitch! Go to the light.....