In
Friday’s post, I mentioned my participation in a cantata of Easter music for
this past Palm Sunday. Everything went OK. As a former fellow choir member used
to put it, “There was hardly any sourness. It was mostly musical.” My strategy
as a singer is to hit whatever I can land on. I’m more of an intuitive singer.
Which I imagine is quite a problem for Steve. Steve is a guy who sits next to
me in choir who obsesses on getting all the notes exactly as written. Me, as
long as there is hardly any sourness and its sounds like music mostly, I’m
OK.
I
will confess that I love to sing. I love to sing-a, about the moon and the
stars and the spring-a. But my passion for singing is not to my mind on par
with my talent.
I’ve
been told I can sing. I actually objectively understand that I can in fact
carry a tune in a bucket. But I believe that bucket is rusty and full of holes.
I’m like Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith Show except with a powerfully cold and
harsh self-awareness. I know I need the special mike, the one that’s turned off
while Gomer Pyle does the real singing from backstage.
Maybe
I’m being too hard on myself. There is nothing more cringe inducing than the
sound of one’s own voice. But let me share this anecdote.
A
few years ago, my company staged a talent contest to benefit the United Way. I
got three women to join me as back up singers as we tore through a version of
The Beatles’ “Money (That’s What I Want)”.
David & the Dots, we were called. I thought things went very well.
The crowd was excited, I felt like I was in good voice. Ultimately, David &
the Dots got more donations than any other act in the contest so we won the
contest and raised a lot of money for a good cause.
Later,
a woman was telling me how much she enjoyed our performance and really liked
how I was influenced by Fred Schneider of the B-52s.
Fred
is that guy in the B-52s who doesn’t sing but instead sort of… chants? “If you
see a painted sign by the side of the road…” Yeah, that guy.
It
was NOT my intent to channel Fred Schneider of the B-52s. I was NOT chanting!
I was singing up there, dammit!
Then
I saw the video and….
OMG!
I’m the guy from the B-52s!!!!!!!!
What
the hell, people?
Anyway….
I
stick with church stuff which presents fewer chances to accidentally channel
the guy from the B-52s. I’m even doing a solo at a service this Thursday.
“If
you see a painted sign by the side of the road…”
No,
I don’t think so.
One
more thing about this past Palm Sunday: we had an instrumental ensemble playing
with us including a bass player from Germany. Germany? Yeah, Germany! And how
German was this guy? His name was “Wolfgang”.
And
yes, he pronounced it “Vulfgang”. Oh, man that was so cool. Wolfgang was very
talented and very friendly. He took time to shake my hand and say hello to me.
Wolfgang!
From Germany!! So! Cool!
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