The Escalator Escalation

 "An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs."

---Mitch Hedberg  

So last week, Donald Trump went to the United Nations to address the General Assembly. When Li'l Donnie and Melania were about to take the escalator from one floor to the next, the escalator just stopped.

And MAGA world lost it's fucking mind!

Fox "News" commentators ran amuck amuck amuck with wild accusations and conspiracy theories that somebody with nefarious motives were out to get their precious president. 

Trump posted online a LONG diatribe about the escalator mishap...no, excuse me, ATTACK that nearly KILLED him and Melania. If they hadn't been holding the hand rails, the sudden stop of the escalator would have caused them to lurch forward and be RIPPED to shreds on the jagged metal teeth of the escalator of DEATH!

Jesus Christ! Li'l Donnie wasn't this dramatic when a bullet singed his ear in Butler PA last year.  

There was the actual matter of his speech to the U.N. where Trump like all the other world leaders addressing the General Assembly was allotted 15 minutes.

Li'l Donnie took a big chunk of his 55 minutes bitching about the U.N., about the escalator and the non-functioning telepromter.

Was someone at the United Nations fucking with Li'l Donnie? 

And he bitched about how he didn't get the contract to refurb the U.N. building back in the 1990's and how the United Nations chose another builder for more money and lesser quality work.

And then there was other stuff. 

I could simply say "Donald Trump lied his ass off" and I would be done.  But let's go into the weeds a bit.

He bragged that grocery prices are down. 

NO, they are fucking NOT! I buy groceries! I can SEE the prices on shit! They are NOT going down, you motherfucker!

He bragged he ended seven wars all by his liddle self!

Such lying going on here. Some of the countries he cited were not in a state of war, some are not even near each other and some that were at war with each other are still fucking FIGHTING each other. 

He told the other assembled leaders their countries are going to hell.

This road to hell that Trump imagines these countries are on is paved with fighting climate change ("the biggest con job in history") and welcoming immigrants.   

Li'l Donnie also took time to single out the mayor of London for doing a very bad job.  Trump offered no detail to this job performance review but come on, the mayor is Sadiq Khan, a Muslim! (You know, one of THEM!) What more evidence do you need of his doing a bad job. Trump accused Sadiq Khan of wanting to put London under Sharia Law. The good people of London have been voting Sadiq Khan into office as mayor since 2016 so apparently they're cool with the guy and whatever he's doing. What's wrong with those people? Can't they see what Donald Trump sees, that he's doing a BAD job? 

Anyway, Trump rambled his way through all 55 minutes of his 15 minute address to the U.N. in what could only described as a complete and total embarrassing display of ignorance, hatred and unbridled narcissism.

Unless you're Karoline Leavitt or a Fox "News" pundit who praised his great and inspiring eloquent oratory. 

Do they not understand we can SEE and HEAR him, right? 

That was just the mess at the U.N. I haven't even touched on the subject of whole "Tylenol causes autism" debacle. 

I'm gonna need another post for that later this morning.

And holy fuck on a stick! What NOW? Trump declares WAR on Portland, Oregon?!?! That'll have to wait for another day.  

TOTALLY RANDOM VIDEO LINK! 

This blog post was brought to you by Jeep Wrangler! Take it away, Breanna Banaciski.