And Now A Word From Our (New) Sponsor#6

Hi, I'm Dave-El and welcome back to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog approved by 4 out of 5 dentists who read blogs.
 
As I've mentioned before, delivering high quality entertainment and intelligent, thoughtful insight is the mission of this blog. And as the evidence of this blog clearly shows, "high quality entertainment and intelligent, thoughtful insight" are just TWO of the things this blog is missing* and so the mission hasn't always has never been successful.

*The other thing missing: actual readers. Who the hell AM I talking to?

Still, producing this blog doesn't come cheap. I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You requires financial backing through a strong and viable commercial sponsor.
 
Instead we've been doing business with American Glory.
 
As you have seen in And Now A Word From Our Sponsor#1-#5, American Glory is an insurance company that will insure any crazy ass thing or insure against any kind of funky shit for as little as $5.00 a month. Now they may have been weird and a little crazy but at least their checks didn't bounce. 
 
But then: scandal.  The last spot was for American Glory's  "Meddling Kids Malpractice" policy and it featured these two characters:

 

Now it seems that American Glory failed to secure permission from Scoobert Doobie "Scooby-Doo" Rogers and his long time companion Shaggy Rogers**.


**"Zoinks, man! We're not, like, gay or something!" "Rot there's ranythring wrong with thrat!"


Oddly enough, American Glory does offer a "Cartoon Character Lawsuit Protection" policy but it appears American Glory failed to send in the required $5.00 to itself and well....

Until this is all sorted out, American Glory has suspended further advertising. And while I wish them well in resolving this mess, that don't pay the bulldog as it were. So I have secured a new sponsor.

I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You presents the first text commercial from Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium.
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Hey there, partners!

Are you in the market for a van?

Does it need to be plain?
Does it need to be white?
Does it need to be unmarked?

Well, I'm Dwayne DeFontaine & I'm telling you to come on down to the Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium!!!

 

 

 

We've got hundreds and hundreds of vans in stock, the ultimate utility vehicle for almost any business need!

 

Are you a semi-literate, weed smoking high school drop out who knocked up his girlfriend when she was 16 and you've been barely getting by on a variety of mimimum wage jobs and now decided to become your own boss by being a house painter?

 

Man, you've messed up your life bad and this house painting thing ain't going nowhere. But until you figure that out, you're gonna need a van!

 

Bad credit? WE DON'T CARE! We're gonna put you in the plain white unmarked van of your choice!

 

Are you a foreign national spying against the good people of the US of A to undermine the freedom and power of democracy and a free market economy?

 

Well, I hope Uncle Sam catches your ass, charges you with treason and throws you in front of a firing squad. But until the Feds catch up with your anti-American tail, you're gonna need a van!

 

And if you're on our side, well, God Bless America and you've earned a special "Domestic Spying" 10% discount off the list price!

 

No credit? WE DON'T CARE! At Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium, you will never walk away; you will DRIVE away in a new or recently foreclosed-on van!

 

Are you transporting illegal aliens across the border from Mexico in violation of the laws of these United States of America, bringing unlawful immigrants who are taking landscaping and chicken processing jobs from true Americans?

 

You are a traitor to American ideals and you profit on the ignorance and desperation of Mexicans looking to get the hell out of Mexico! Immigration will catch you and throw you into a deep, dark prison hole! But until then, you're gonna need a van!

 

Are you an illegal Mexican immigrant? No se escapará el largo brazo de la ley por mucho tiempo. Pero hasta ese día, vas a necesitar una furgoneta!

 

Are you a serial killer who haunts the back roads looking for innocent victims to play out your sick, perverted fantasies in an orgy of rape, torture and murder? If so, buddy, you're going to HELL where a thousand torments await your blackened soul to be punished for all eternity for your twisted, evil deeds! But until then, you're gonna need a van!

 

You wanna make a trade with an old van that's seen better days and is caked with mud, excrement and possibly human blood? WE DON'T CARE! At Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium, we will make any deal with anybody to move these plain white unmarked vans off our lot because we have more coming in! So we're ready to make a deal, any deal, to get you the plain white unmarked van of your dreams!

 

So this is Dwayne DeFontaine inviting you to come on down to Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium, off the service road 3 miles east of the Business I-97/Old Mill Road interchange, right across from the Hardee's.

 

At Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium, we'll treat you right! What happens afterwards is your damn filthy business!

 

Remember: That's Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium! We're opened until 9 PM Monday thru Saturday! We're not open Sunday! What the hell is wrong with you? Get your ass in church! But the rest of the week, whatever God forsaken, America corrupting, life destroying thing you need to do, you're gonna need a van! Come see us at Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium!

_________________________________

 

What.

 

The.

 

Hell?

 

Oooo-kay. This is weird but...

 

A-hem!

 

Thanks to our new sponsor, Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium! Mention this blog and on the purchase of your new van, they'll give you for free your choice of, uh, shag carpetting or tool bench (Really?) installed in your new plain white unmarked van.

 

Well, thanks for joining us today. Please (PLEASE!) come back tomorrow as we present something...else.

 

I need a shower.

_____________________________

 

Remember, Dave-El can still be followed on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/DayWayLo  My posts on Twitter are sponsored by the Summer's Eve Family of Products. Today, the spotlight falls on Summer's Eve Family Taco Dinner Kit. Give mom a break and show her you're thinking of her by making tacos for dinner. And nothing makes tacos better than Summer's Eve.

 

 

 

 

 

 



                                     

Doctor Who is NEW: "The Crimson Horror"

What is Doctor Who?

After 50 years, it's not easy to wrap a neat descriptive sentence around the answer to that question. There are people who still tag this show as a "children's program". Others label it as "science fiction". Neither label provides an accurate or completely satisfying description of what the show is. And nothing challenges either of these labels as much as when Doctor Who delves into horror.

OK, I got lazy and went to Wikipedia for this but "horror is the feeling of revulsion that usually occurs after something frightening is seen, heard, or otherwise experienced. It is the feeling one gets after coming to an awful realization or experiencing a deeply unpleasant occurrence."

Horror has been a part of Doctor Who's DNA back to the classic era. From Tom Baker's era alone, some of the best episodes were the ones that tapped into horror: the aptly named "Horror of Fang Rock", "The Brain of Morbius", "The Talons of Weng Chiang", "State of Decay", "The Hand of Fear" and even "Ark in Space" were rooted as much in the conventions of horror as science fiction.

The third episode of the revived series, "The Unquiet Dead", was as much or even more a horror story than a sci-fi tale.

In every sense, Saturday's new episode of Doctor Who, "The Crimson Horror", is an excellent example of Whovian horror at its best, with genuine thrills mixed with humor and wit.

Before we move on....you know, I really don't do a lot of details in these write ups but just in case I slip up and say something stupidly specific....
____________________________

 

SPOILERS, Sweetie!

____________________________

Like "The Unquiet Dead", Mark Gatiss pens "The Crimson Horror" which is also set in Victorian England.  Our resident oddball detectives of the era, Madame Vestra (our Silurian in London), her wife Jenny and Strax the Sontaran, are on the trail of a most parculiar series of murders ending with red corpses.  The mystery leads them to a cult or a commune (or a really, really long sales pitch for time shares). Don't worry, though; Strax has a plan. But since this plan involves a massive offensive employing many, many weapons of death, destruction and more death, Vestra decides instead to send Jenny undercover to infiltrate the cult-thingy.

Now I've seen a few internet comments that describe this as a Doctor-lite episode. And yes, the Doctor and Clara don't show up for a long time. However, 1) I was too entertained by Vestra, Jenny & Strax to really care too much and 2) when the Doctor and Clara do show up, they are pretty much in the episode after that.

And when the Doctor does show up...ooh boy. When you get to this bit, you'll know why the word "horror" is in the title.

Mark Gatiss is on a bit of roll. After the very disappointing "Night Terrors" from Series 6, he has scored with two excellent scripts in this series, "Cold War" and "The Crimson Horror".

Among the lots and lots of good bits:

• Our Victorian trio is as entertaining as ever. Dan Starkey's Strax as always has some really funny lines but he does get to remind you that is still an effective and deadly warrior. Neve McIntosh is a smooth and regal as ever in the role of Madame Vestra. And Catrin Stewart as Jenny get some significant screen time with her undercover work and she also lays down some major wup-ass like she's Kate Beckinsdale.
• Other strong guest stars include the incomparable Diana Rigg as the unabashedly evil Mrs. Gillyflower and Diana's daughter Rachael Stirling as Gillyflower's daughter, Ada, a scarred, blind woman who is loyal to her mother and her plans but has her own secrets.
• The flashback to the Doctor and Clara's arrival and initial investigation into the mystery of the Crimson Horror was unique (sepia tone colors), amusing and effective.
• Yes, there is horror but there is also lot of fun too. Even Mrs. Gillyflower gets a couple of wickedly funny lines.
• Classic series reference! Specifically to the 5th Doctor and Teegan! Yay!

Right now, I'm hard pressed to think of any bad bits. There's a bit at the end that was very amusing but would've had more impact if we had more prior exposure to the people involved. But it does set up a interesting dynamic for the next episode.

Next week: Neil Gaiman strikes again (along with the Cybermen) with "Nightmare in Silver", next when Doctor Who is NEW!

Mystery Planet! A SciFi Tale Told in Tweets

Hi!

Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. Good to have you drop by this Saturday, the 4th day of----uh oh.

(Sigh. OK, let me get this over with.)

May the 4th be with you.
              Happy Star Wars Day!

__________________________________________

Last Saturday, #ThingsThatIrritateMe was trending on Twitter. Most Tweets were about stuff that irritates most people: long lines, traffic jams, snoring, retail packaging..that sort of thing. A few were weird in the "bananas irritate me" kind of way.

I went in a different direction.

Collected in one place for the first time, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You is proud to present a sci-fi tale told in Tweets. A tale I like to call....

MYSTERY PLANET!

(Oh, there's a brand new bonus feature after the story.)

OK, let's try this again. Ahem.


MYSTERY PLANET!
____________________________________________________________

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Having to survey an uncharted planet of a Saturday. Saturday, dammit!

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe That damn Space Council can't wait a couple of days to survey this rock! I bet they still get their Saturdays off!

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Oh hell! The atmosphere's nitrogen content is on the high side! Damn, that's going to trigger my Venusian Ass Rash!

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Venusian Ass Rash! What the hell was I doing screwing a Venusian hooker when she was missing her 8th tentacle?

 

(At this point, one of my followers was actually paying attention and decided to pop into my narrative.)

 

Brian W. Jackson‏@brianwjackson27 Apr

@DayWayLo long range scanners have detected an object heading your way at incredible speed.

 

@brianwjackson #ThingsThatIrritateMe Better not be trouble! Survey ships have piss-ass weapons! Cheap bastards at the Space Council!

 

(Our story resumes but I bring in Brian's "plot point" later.)

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Best get this bucket down &...Oh, hell! Ship shaking badly! Librium Nacels out of sync again? Stupid space mechanics!

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe is th-this wh-wh-what it f-feels like in cui-cuisinart? Why can't I have a nice ship like..well, like that one...

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Could be that object Jackson Relay 7 signaled about! Of course they're ahead of me now.They're not flying a piece of sh

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Let me get down, get some surveys and...reverse thrusters not fully functional...well, isn't THAT just perfect!

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Crashing..deploy safety field..(KER-RASH!) Ouch!No! Ouch! Safety! Ouch! Field! Ouch! (KRUNK!) Please let me be dead.

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Freakin' wonderful. Ship's totalled, stuck on an alien planet! This Saturday SUCKS! It can't get any worse! (BZZZT!)

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Oh, hell no! Aliens from that other ship shooting at me? Hey, guys, I don't even want to be here so back off, OK?

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Translator doesn't work. Really? I will keel over dead from THAT surprise. I give up! Hey, alien dudes, kill me now!

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Of course, they have a better ship AND a better translator. NOT going to kill me? Well, normally that's good news.

 

#ThingsThatIrritateMe Anal probing. Yes, I see. Should've seen that coming. Well, see if I ever come in to work on a Saturday again!

 

----The End---- 

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Blog Bonus Features:

Behind the Scenes of the Secrets of the Making of

Mystery Planet!

 

 Hello, I'm Dave-El, here to take you on a journey through the creation of this remarkable work of ingenious imagination. I've managed (with a great deal of difficulty, I might add) to secure direct and exclusive access to this project's creative and talented creator, myself.

 

Dave-El: I was just bored, man. I had a lot of things to do that I really didn't want to do, you know what I mean? So I went on Twitter and really didn't see anything going on. Then I saw that #ThingsThatIrritateMe was trending. And I thought, I bet I could do something with that.

 

So Dave-El readied himself for this new challenge this inventive genius had set for himself.

 

Dave-El: So after I checked out a couple of my favorite porn sites, I came back to Twitter and I said, "Hey! That hashtag thing's still going on? Yeah, let me do something with that."

 

This is when Dave-El dug deep inside himself for inspiration, drawing on his powerful and unique hopes and fears and passions.

 

Dave-El: Yeah, so I hate working on Saturdays, right? Oh, space stuff! I really dig space stuff.

 

So Dave-El began a journey with no idea how it would end as he Tweeted the plight of an ordinary everyman trapped on a mission he didn't want with technology that betrays him at every turn. A commentary of how modern man is trapped in a society he doesn't understand and can't control.

 

Dave-El: Funny stuff, man! I mean, none of his shit worked! None of it! Oh, man, the scene with the ship crashing? "Please let me be dead." Like I said, funny stuff.

 

The unfolding of Dave-El's ground-breaking masterpiece did not go unnoticed.

 

Brian: Yeah, I thought it was kinda funny. Space guy hates coming in on Saturday. I decided to pop in with a little bit of my own. But I didn't know he would keep going with it. And going. And going. Dude, get a life or something.

 

Rebkah: He's sort of weird, isn't he? We started following each other during the last election but now that's over. I really don't get all the comic book and Doctor Who stuff....what was the question again?

 

Karen: I think Dave-El is so...so inspiring, so gifted, such a bright and clever little boy who...what? He's how OLD? Oh, that man needs help.

 

Gail: Remind Dave-El the restraining order is still in effect.

 

And so Dave-El bravely and impressively posted Tweet after Tweet until he had finished, a tale of a man who struggles against the machinations of a society that threaten to crush him, destroy his spirit.

 

Dave-El: Anal probing. Heh. That's funny.

 

I want to thank Dave-El for speaking with me, Dave-El, for this special feature that is now quite likely longer than the story itself.

 

___________________________________________

 

OK, one last thing:

Today is Christmas for Nerds. Today is...

 

 

Do you know what this means?

 

FREE COMIC BOOKS! (Duh.)

 

I'll be heading to Acme Comics, the best LCS in the world, later today. It's always a party!
OK, one more one last thing:
 

 

I'm also going to see Iron Man 3 today. Hearing it's awesome! Can't wait!

 

 

 

All right, really, this is the LAST one last thing:

And finally it's NEW Doctor Who Day! 

 

 

What a great day this is going to be!

...

...

...

I wonder where it will go horribly, horribly wrong?

 

Later!

________________________________

 

Dave-El (but not the other Dave-El, just one) can be found on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Huff Post Hop for Friday, May 3, 2013

Hello, everyone! Great news! The latest #HuffPostHop Tweets (*) that was posted on Twitter earlier is now here to be put in a safe but convenient one place!

(*) Oh, hell! Do I have explain every single damn time that it stands for "Huffington Post Hop", as in we hop from one headline to another in search of a good headline to crack jokes about.

Let's get started in 5..4..3..2..

______________________________________________________________

#HuffPostHop “Senator: Republicans Didn't Want To 'Be Seen Helping' Obama” So they sneak by the Obama’s office at night with a pie

#HuffPostHop “North Korea Sentences American To 15 Years Hard Labor” Then they sentenced a Mexican to do that hard labor for less money

#HuffPostHop “New Law Allows Gov't To Seize Assault Weapons From Criminals, Mentally Ill” It’s called the “Well, DUH!” law.

#HuffPostHop “Austerity Advocates Bring In Millions From Tax Loopholes” This is the economic principle known as “Fuck you, I got mine”

#HuffPostHop “Toxic Pesticides Burn In California Wildfire” On the plus side, the smoldering ruins of your home will be free of mosquitos.

#HuffPostHop “John McCain Gets Unexpected Surprise” He’s the next contestant on “The Price Is Right”!

#HuffPostHop “Fox News Guest's Unbelievable Holocaust Remarks” Fox News guest says something stupid; U.S. unable to give a fuck anymore

#HuffPostHop “Karl Rove Issues 2014 Warning” Karl calls dibs on next Easter’s honey glazed ham. Do not stop him; he WILL hurt you!

#HuffPostHop “Bankers Struggle To Live On $1+ Million Pay” Ex: Drinking champagne out of glasses, not gold plated skulls of their enemies

#HuffPostHop “Reese Witherspoon Freaks Out In Arrest Video” After officer told her he loved her in “Bridget Jones’ Diary”

#HuffPostHop “You've Been Eating Apples All Wrong” So put down the apple…NOW! Put it down and back away! No one has to get hurt here.

#HuffPostHop “Drudge Report Falls For Fake Story” Obama & Pelosi shooting up Reno NV with Laser Cats?! It HAD to be true! It just had to!

_________________________________________________________________

For these headlines and more ad the storiues behind them, go to http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

And Dave-El can be found wandering around or back at Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo 

 

Counting Doctors

Hi! Dave-El here, here in my fortress office converted storage room storage room to bring forth another edition of the world renowned nationally known citywide sensation laboring in obscurity blog I like to call That Damn Blog I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

We're going to talk about Doctor Who today. But first....

A Christmas Tale of Bitter Disappointment

 

Yeah, I know it's May, just bear with me because this is going to connect to Doctor Who, okay?

 

 

Now I'm giving away my age here but one December many years ago when I was but a wee Dave-El and presents were slowly (too slowly, c'mon) amassing under the tree.  One day, I saw a very flat gift in the shape of a perfect square. It was a record album.*

  

*Record albums: a form of music delivery involving a black disc made of hard vinyl kept in a cardboard sleeve. These "record albums" would be play on a "record player"...dammit, go to Wikepedia and look this up yourself. I have a story to tell. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albums

 

Now this was going to be a perfect gift to play on my new hi-fi stereo** that I had gotten over the past summer.
 

 

**You're probably wondering, "How OLD is this guy?" You're about to find out.
 

 

But what album was it? Oh, there were a lot to choose from. Rumours by Fleetwood Mac, Next by Journey, Foreigner's self titled album, Little Queen by Heart, News of the World by Queen, the possibilities were endless.***

***Yes, these are from 1977 and yes, I am old.

 

 

I would've been happy with Streisand Superman...

 

    

 

..you know, for the shirt.****

****I just want to cuddle.

 

I knew it couldn't be Out of the Blue by Electric Light Orchestra because it was a double album+ and the package under the tree was clearly just one record.

+"Huh? 'Double Album'? What are you..." Just let it go, OK?

My parents knew not to buy ABBA...because I already owned all of ABBA's albums including the one that had just come out, ABBA: The Album. (Yeah, they were that damn awesome. Everybody else had an album; ABBA had THE album!) This is the one with "Take a Chance On Me" and I dare you, I double dog dare you to not smile when you hear it. Go on-

 

<Dave-El's computer here! He said he was going to talk about Doctor Who and instead he's rambling about record albums from the 70's. And ABBA! Yeesh! Well, let him ramble. While he only uses barely 1/2 percent of my total computing capacity to look up comic book stuff and fetish porn, I've been using the rest of my power to develop a strategy for world conqu-- oh, he's shutting up now.>

..and that's why ABBA was so fucking great!

 

Where was I? Oh, yeah....

So my mind was abuzz with so many possibilities. I would sit cross legged on the floor trying to discern the contents beneath the Christmas wrapping. Day after day I pondered this strange and enticing mystery. Finally Christmas came and I ripped the paper from the package to reveal a record album by.....
 

Sha Na Na.

 

I was a young, naive, insular boy growing up in a small predominantly Baptist southern town and I, at that time, did not know the word "fuck". But if I had...

 

Now why the hell did I tell you I like Doctor Who only to go on this rambling remembrance about records from over 35 years ago? Because I can't help thinking of that experience as we head towards Doctor Who's 50th anniversary.

 

Now I'm not one of those internet trolls who criticizes things before they're seen or even before finished being made. I have no doubt that Steven Moffat will deliver a cracking good story.

 

But ever since Russell Davies brought the show back in 2005 and we Whovians realized that our long journey through a barren landscape of no Doctor Who (other than that mirage we saw in 1996) was finally over, we dared to cast our eyes to the future. 2013. The magic year. The 50th anniversary of when a couple of school teachers happened upon a box that was bigger on the inside and travelled in time and space, piloted by a strange man who called himself only...the Doctor. Yes, 50 years!

 

As the years rolled by and we drew closer to the magic year, our imaginations ran wild. It'll be a party to beat all parties!! Maybe we could have a multi-Doctor extravaganza!! All the still-living actors from Tom Baker to Sylvester McCoy. Hell, even Colin. And Paul McGann. Oh dear Paul who carried the franchise on the back of just one (not very good) movie; maybe this time he could have at least one good onscreen appearance! And the new boys too:Chris and David and Matt!! Wowza!! It will be great!!

 

As of now, it looks like it's just going to be these two guys:

 

 

 

Well, we knew David Tennant would be back. The ultimate fan boy made good, there was no chance he wouldn't want to be a part of Doctor Who history. Apparently Christopher Eccleston, who doesn't give a shit about Doctor Who history, was approached about appearing as well but decided not to join the fun. (Man, he takes himself way too damn seriously.)

 

But Tennant told Doctor Who Magazine that it's just him, no other past Doctors. Of course, he was telling people, "No, I haven't been called or anything" not too long before that so maybe there's hope. But probably not. So far we've seen only one appearance of a classic Doctor on new Who, back in 2006.

 

 

Those few minutes of the short featurette, "Time Crash" (written by Moffat) had the Fifth Doctor, Peter Davison, crossing the time stream with the Tenth.++

++Also, David, this is going to be your future father-in-law!

It was a short whimsical piece, rather silly, but it gave a taste of a classic Doctor paired with one of the best writers of modern Doctor Who and it was a revelation of how the classic Doctors could be with a good writer. Ask Peter Davison who only got to act in one script by the legendary Robert Holmes who, I would dare say, was the best writer of classic Who. That story was "Caves of Androzani", Davison's last episode. Peter later remarked that if more of the scripts had been of that caliber, he would've stayed longer. That Davison gave way to Colin Baker just makes that missed opportunity all the more painful.

The idea of Steven Moffat or Russell Davies writing dialogue for any of the classic Doctors would be mind shatteringly awesome. Another prime example of what that might be like is a reading by Sylvester McCoy, the 7th Doctor, that he gave at a convention appearance. He read the Doctor's "moment of awesome" Stonehenge speech from "The Pandorica Opens". Matt Smith acted the hell out of that scene; McCoy, with barely a glance at the paper in front of him, delivered those same words with a power of his own that was magical to hear. 

But sadly that does not appear to be for the 50th anniversary, or at least as far as we know. And perhaps we should not be surprised: anniversary specials have not always gone easy for Doctor Who.

10th Anniversary: Current Doctor Jon Pertwee was joined by 2nd Doctor Patrick Troughton for "The Three Doctors". Jon and Patrick instantly clicked as two sides of the same Time Lord bickering with himself. But the First Doctor, William Hartnell, was too ill to do more than read some lines from a cue card for pre-taped bits that were inserted in Parts 1 and 4.

20th Anniversary: Hartnell had since passed away and a decision was made to recast Richard Hurndall. There was some consternation over that choice but I thought Hurndall did very well. But the big hiccup was Tom Baker's refusal to return to his iconic interpretation; so the 4th Doctor was played by some unused stock footage.

30th Anniversary: We really, really do not want to talk about "Dimensions in Time", do we?

40th Anniversary: Wow! 40 years! Let's celebrate by having a bunch of people sit around and talk about the show.

So, fellow Whovians, as we sit on the metaphorial floor by the metaphorical Christmas tree and we see a present in shiny wrapping. (Hey, I brought it back around to that album thing!) It appears to be...TARDIS shaped. And we don't have to wait until Christmas; we'll get this one in November. But whether or not we will be satisfied or disappointed rests more on us than the actual thing itself. Our expectations can be our own undoing when it comes to enjoying these amazing little fictions into which we have invested so much of our energy and passion.

Remember the Sha Na Na album? I sold it to an uncle who just loved Sha Na Na so he was happy and I made two bucks which I spent on comics books so it turned out alright in the end.

But as we close, if you're still hankering for the massive multi-Doctor epics, let me leave you with this:

 

 

 

 

Abbott et Costello aller au Collège

Welcome to my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. I gotta go to bed but first: Abbott and Costello take a French class. ______________________________________

Scene: Two college freshmen studying for French class.

Bud: "Excuse me, can you help with a question on this

assignment?"

Lou: "I'll be happy to help if I can."

Bud: "Do you know what 'Je ne sais quois' means?

Lou: "'Je ne sais quois?"

Bud: "Yes, 'Je ne sais quois'."

Lou: "Oh, I know that means."

Bud: "Oh good! What does it mean?"

Lou: "I don't know."

Bud: "What?"

Lou: "I don't know."

Bud: "I thought you said you knew."

Lou: "Know what?"

Bud: "What 'Je ne sais quois' means?"

Lou: "But I do."

Bud: "So what does it mean?"

Lou: "I don't know."

Bud: "You don't know?"

Lou: "No! 'I don't know'."

Bud: "Look, I don't know either."

Lou: "Don't know what?"

Bud: "What 'je ne sais quois' means!"

Lou: "But I told you."

Bud: "No, you haven't told me nothin', buddy!"

Lou: "Yes, I have."

Bud: "No, you said you don't know."

Lou: "No! 'I don't know'."

Bud: "Great! So we BOTH don't know."

Lou: "No, that's 'Nous ne savons pas'."

Bud: "Don't bring another language into this!"

Lou: "That's still French!"

Bud: "So you know French, eh?"

Lou: "Yes, yes I do."

Bud: "And if I ask you do you know what 'Je ne sais quois'

means, you would answer....?"

Lou: "I would answer, 'Yes, I know what 'Je ne sais quois' means?"

Bud: "Aaaaaand...what does 'Je ne sais quois' mean?"

Lou: "I don't know!"

Bud: "Arrgh! There you go again! I ask do you know what

'Je ne sais quois' means and you say yes!! And when I ask

you what 'Je ne sais quois' means, you say I don't know!!!!"

Lou: "Ah ha! That's it!!"

Bud: "What? What's it?"

Lou: "You just said what 'Je ne sais quois' means!"

Bud: "What did I say?"

Lou: "I don't know!"

Bud: "What? You weren't listening?"

Lou: "Yes I was."

Bud: "And I said what 'Je ne sais quois' means?"

Lou: "Yes, you did!"

Bud: "So what did I say?"

Lou: "I don't know."

Bud: "Arrgh! You said you were listening."

Lou: "I was!"

Bud: "But you said you don't know!"

Lou: "No! 'I don't know'."

Bud: (sigh) "No, brother, you don't..."

Lou: "Yes, I do."

Bud: "So you keep telling me. But I gotta tell ya, this

conversation's lacking a certain...I don't know.."

Lou: "Je ne said qouis?"

Bud: "I give up!" (exits)

Lous: (calling after) " That's 'J'abandonne'."

----fin----

______________________________

Il est maintenant temps que nous rire doucement à l'absurdité de ce petit drame tout en sirotant un verre de vin rouge à l'extérieur d'un café parisien. Ah, ces américains stupides ! Il est maintenant temps que nous rire doucement à l'absurdité de ce petit drame tout en sirotant un verre de vin rouge à l'extérieur d'un café parisien. Ah, ces américains stupides !   ______________________________ And you can also follow Dave-El on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo

Memory and a Misty Din

Hi!

Dave-El here and welcome to today's post at that most (I'm tired; I'll fill in an adjective later) of blogs, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

The slog through studying for my exam in Operational Excellence in Financial Services or whatever is nearly over. Tomorrow morning is when I take my test.

I hope it goes well.  This evening around 6:00, I was poking around my study materials; I had felt fairly confident up to that point but as I stared at the computer screen and my various handwritten scrawls in a total mockery of legibility, I became hot and cold at the same time.

I DON'T KNOW THIS SHIT!

What is the formula for calculating a sample variance? I was calculating the hell of it the night before but at that moment, my brain may as well been a brick. I need to know how to calculate a sample variance! And a standard deviation! And means and medians and modes (oh my!). My head began to swoon as everything on my computer screen began to look like this:

RFYIU8W8585WUQ9UVTTET7897YVG.KJLHVH OO1EH

Only LESS intelligible!

Well, I'm fine now but I worry. How long can my brain hold this knowledge before my test tomorrow. Will I sit down in the test room and pull the computer screen towards me only to see--

RFYIU8W8585WUQ9UVTTET7897YVG.KJLHVH OO1EH

My brain isn't as young as it used to be. Well, I've done what I could with what I have. As Jadzia Dax once said on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: "To hell with it! If it's going to fly, it's going to fly."

So tomorrow will be whatever tomorrow will be.
___________________________________________________

Now, here's something you would never expect to find at I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You: poetry. And not just any poetry but one my most favorite poems by that American master, Robert Frost.

This poem struck me with the raw power of nature, water at war with land. There is a sense of foreboding that transcends the imagery of what Frost decribes. It's not just the falling of evening shadows we see in our mind's eye but "a night of dark intent".

The poem was written in 1916 and I'm sure the terrible casualties and destruction of World War I were prominent in his thoughts. When I first read this poem many years ago, I did not know when it was written or what may have inspired Frost but it spoke to me.

Here is Once By The Pacific by Robert Frost

 

The shattered water made a misty din.
Great waves looked over others coming in,
And thought of doing something to the shore
That water never did to land before.
The clouds were low and hairy in the skies,
Like locks blown forward in the gleam of eyes.
You could not tell, and yet it looked as if
The shore was lucky in being backed by cliff,
The cliff in being backed by continent;
It looked as if a night of dark intent
Was coming, and not only a night, an age.
Someone had better be prepared for rage.
There would be more than ocean-water broken
Before God's last Put out the Light was spoken.

______________________________________

 

 

I was due to recite this poem in a college literature class. Much like this test I've been preparing for, I had a certain confidence that I had this committed to memory. Then mere minutes before I was to stand up, the screen in my head that scrolled the words by went blank. Even as I rose from my seat, I couldn't think of a damn word of it. Well, almost. "The word 'ocean' is in there somewhere", I thought. Oh, this was going to be humiliating.

 

I stood before the class as I cleared my throat to stall for time then I spoke: "This...is...a poem...by one...of the greatest..."

(William Shatner had nothing me!) But I could not drag this out any longer. I brought my opening remarks to a close. I cleared my throat.

 

"'Once By the Pacific', by Robert Frost," I announced. Followed by, "'The shattered water.....'" And I took a deep breath and relaxed. "'Made a misty din...'" The words came out. Have faith in your words; they will come and sometimes exactly when you need them.

 

If anyone does ever read these posts, thanks for letting me ramble a bit about poetry. I honestly did not what I was going to say when I began this post today.

 

Next time, the usual stupidity returns here at I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

 

Later!