This (Non) Sporting Life: Midday Baseball

Yesterday, I got paid to watch baseball in the middle of the day.

It's another edition of This (Non) Sporting Life, a blog post about sports by a guy who does not know much and cares even less about sports.

(Wait! Two of these "This (Non) Sporting Life" posts in a row? For "a guy who does not know much and cares even less about sports", that's a lot of sports!)  

The occasion was a company event for employees to have some "fun" watching the Greensboro Grasshoppers.

If you call sitting in the baking hot sun with an overpriced hot dog watching a game I was not invested in "fun".

To be fair, I did not pay for the overpriced hot dog, my employer did that. And I have to admit it was a very good hot dog.

But $6 for a plain hot dog is a lot. 

And damn, the weather was hot.

As I exclusively work from home these days, this was a rare chance to perhaps get in touch with some people from when I worked in the office.

Which is ironic because when I did work in the office, I would actively try to avoid interacting with people. Now I'm choosing to do that when I don't have to?  

I saw exactly 3 people I knew. Dude, where is everybody I used to know? It's enough to make me feel old if I didn't already feel old just getting up in the morning.

The potential onset of heat stroke wasn't helping my disposition.

Before I left the cool safety of my work from home, my boss told me relax and stay as long as I wanted.

I made it to the 3rd inning before I called my participation in this "fun" due to thermal nuclear meltdown.

Hey, here's Guilford the Grasshopper who has a really GREAT job being a total goofball for a living AND the absolutely WORST job having to work in a fur suit in 90+ degree weather.

Here's a selfie of me and I have questions.

• Who am I?
• Why am I here?
• Do I remember where I parked?
• Should I get another hot dog?

The heat is getting to me.

Well, the ball game got me out of the house which is a rare thing. I hardly go anywhere outside the Fortress of Ineptitude. 

Such as when I make a semi-regular pilgrimmage to Acme Comics.

Which brings us to the 2nd post of the day.

Up in a few hours: Batman! 

Who I am sure does not go to midday baseball games.