Tuesday, October 24, 2023

Tuesday TV Touchbase: Our Flag Means Death and Celebrity Wheel of Fortune


So the 2nd season of Our Flag Means Death debuted a few weeks ago and the adventures of the gayest pirates ever in the history of gay pirates continue to be funny, absurd and sometimes emotionally moving.  

The development of Stede Bonnett's character has been very interesting. At the start of the series in season one, Stede was such a dandified persona, there is no way he can possibly survive as a pirate. 

This season, Stede still has his civilized cultured way about him but he's done some things, he's seen some shit and Stede's "Gentleman Pirate" has a somewhat tougher edge to him.

This really becomes evident when pirate Ned Low crashes the party,

Literally, a party. 

The crew of the Revenge are throwing a blow the fucking masts off the ship bacchanal to celebrate "Calypso's birthday". There's drinking and music and dancing and even damn the goddess Calypso herself in the form of Wee John in full, fabulous drag as Calypso, proclaiming “Raise your motherfucking glasses or feel my absolute wrath.” Who could top that entrance?

Well, Izzy Hands gives it a go, wearing drag makeup, his hair slicked back in a high pompadour, singing “La Vie En Rose”. 

Was it just one season ago that Izzy was particularly irked at Stede's crew and their weird shenanigans and now he's part of the floor show? Go fig!

Then pirate Ned Low and his crew shows up. 

Ned is a violin playing pirate whose cut from the same cloth as Stede Bonnet but no "gentleman pirate" persona for him. Ned is a full blown psychopath who tortures people because he finds screaming to be musical. Or some shit. 

So Ned gets going torturing the crew of the Revenge in various excruciatingly painful ways. The day is saved when Stede breaks free of his restraints and takes one of Ned's crew hostage and begins decimating Ned's hold on his crew in true Stede Bonnet fashion: pointing out Ned does not respect his crew's feelings and identities. 

Hellkat Maggie: "We're demoralized by your constant fucking criticism.” 

Ned Low: You’re mercenaries. You don’t have feelings!”  

Hellkat Maggie: “How about you stop telling me who I am?”

Ned's crew agrees with that, the assault on the Revenge ends and Ned's crew abandons him to Stede as they discuss the concept of profit sharing. 

Then Stede does a very pirate thing to do and orders Ned to walk the plank. Ned is nagging Stede when Stede hurls Ned's violin at him and knocking him into the drink to drown and die.

Andrea said, "That motherfucker had it coming!" 

(I should point out that my wife did not in fact say the word "motherfucker" but she did indeed concur that Ned did having it coming and Stede did a good thing killing "that god damn rat bastard."

No, she did not say "god damn rat bastard" either,) 

Before Stede sent Ned to his death, it's Ed, the erstwhile Blackbeard, of all people who tries to talk him out of it.  

OK, how did it get this far into this post and not mention Ed before now? Given how central the whole Stede/Ed relationship is to this show, how could I ignore Ed? 

I think I find Stede's journey of progressive civilized man learning to be just tough enough to survive as a gentleman pirate more interesting than Ed's journey as the rough and violent Blackbeard evolving into a more mellow version of himself who does not need or want that kind of life.  

And Our Flag Means Death leans into the sitcom "will they or won't they" trope or as it became with Ross and Rachel on Friends,  "will they or won't they, oh they did, now what, let break them up again".  

Yes, Stede and Ed do get together only to have Ed break them up to go join a fishing boat to go fishing as a fisherman to catch fish. 

Besides character stuff, there's plot stuff going on in Our Flag Means Death with the return of Prince Ricky Banes and his fancy prosthetic nose after Spanish Jackie cut off the real one earlier in the season. Now he's joined the Royal Navy and is determined to stamp out all piracy. 

Chinese woman pirate Zheng Yi Sao (who we met in the Doctor Who episode "Legend of the Sea Devils"*) proposes to Ricky a way to stop piracy: have the British crown to pay all pirates a living wage so they’ll “stop stealing all your shit.”

*I could research this but to be honest, it's late when I'm writing this and I'm just going to assume both notorious female Chinese pirates are in fact the same pirate. 

The response to this is what you should expect from a pompous Englishman being essentially blackmailed by a person who is both Chinese AND a woman? 

We'll see what happens when the 2nd season of Our Flag Means Death wraps up this week. 

Before I wrap up this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase, I have to call attention to an epic fail on last week's Celebrity Wheel of Fortune.  

Former NFL superstar Rashad Jennings had just to provide one letter to solve a puzzle in the category  “Rhyme Time.” 

Jennings admitted, “I feel like I’m supposed to know something but I don’t.”



Yes, the puzzle was DRIVING TO RENO WITH _UENTIN TARANTINO.  

Jennings guessed the missing letter was "P".  

I'm pretty damn sure Andrea has never seen any of his films but even she knew "It's Quentin Tarantino, you fucking dumbass.

(I'm sorry that I keep attributing obscenity filled quotes to my wife when she does not talk like that. I guess I thought it was funny. It's not.)  

By the way, Quentin Tarantino has announced his next film will be his last. 

I hope you're happy, Rashad Jennings! You broke Quetin Tarantino! 

Next week, Our Flag Means Death returns to the touchbase for the 2nd season finale. And I will talk about other TV things.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.  


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