If I Won the Powerball

Hi there! Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, a $3.00 scratch off kind of a blog in a big billion dollar internet. I'm Dave-El and if you, dear reader, have won the Powerball lottery, let me just say congratulations and that I've always loved you and more than just as a friend (wink!). 

So the big story is this Powerball lottery thing with a total cash pay out of $1.5 billion dollars! Wow! That's a lot of money! Really, do you know how much money that is?

It's $1.5 billion dollars, that's how much it is, you idiot! Unless you won the Powerball lottery then instead let me say I'm impressed with your dazzling wit and personality and are there, say, I don't know, any sex acts you would like performed?  

So everybody is going nuts over this unprecedented lottery. Over on Twitter (where I can be found here: 

https://twitter.com/dave_el1938), the following hashtag was trending on Twitter:  #IfIWonPowerball. 

So I decided to join in on the fun and here are my tweets on this subject.

#IfIWonPowerball I would give it to charity. OK I would use enough to by me a new car. Something modest, mind, you like a bright red Ferrari

#IfIWonPowerball Otherwise all to charity & I would be happy with 1 car. OK, two cars!I I also want a black & silver Escalante.

 #IfIWonPowerball But that's it! Just two cars and the rest to charity and shit, I'm going to need a garage, won't I? 

#IfIWonPowerball OK, I'm going to need a house too! What? I'm not going to have a garage with two sweet rides all by itself!

#IfIWonPowerball It will need to be pretty big for all the fashion models I will be entertaining! Damn! Need $ for cocaine!

#IfIWonPowerball OK, let me regroup! 2 cars! A garage attached to a house...hell, a mansion, $ for coke and then $ for charity!

#IfIWonPowerball So charity is covered after I get my cars & my mansion & my blow for all the models..fuck it, they're hookers.  

#IfIWonPowerball 2 cars...you know after all the coked up hookers, those cars are gonna totaled! A dozen more cars for back up

#IfIWonPowerball Now, 14 cars, a mansion, coke, hookers, then we'll cover...Who are all these people? I have an entourage now. 

#IfIWonPowerball OK, I got this! So lots of cars, mansion, blow & hookers for me & my homies and THEN, it all goes to charity.

#IfIWonPowerball OK maybe a little more off the top for, you know, the lawyers. Yeah, cocaine & hookers? I'm gonna new a lawyer

So that's my post on the subject of the Powerball lottery. If you won this thing and are reading this blog (which is admittedly a strange sequence of events), once more I offer my most sincere best wish for your new found fortune and will remind you that I have loved you with all my heart for such a long, long time and I can make you feel like a woman and/or man.  

I'll be back with another post tomorrow even I win the lottery. I will advise if I do win the lottery, the title of that post will be "I'm Oughtta Here! So Long, Suckers!"

Until that moment of truth, remember to be good to one another. And if you are reading this blog and you are the winner of the $1.5 billion, I will be really good to you, if you know what I mean.