Valerian & The City Of a Thousand Planets

I tried to make a case for Dunkirk, the World War II film from Christopher Nolan that was tracking really well on Rotten Tomatoes. But I lost Andrea’s interest when I said “World War II”. I pointed out it was about the British in WWII but unable to pin down anyone in the cast from Doctor Who or Broadchurch, that battle was lost. 

I couldn’t explain Valerian any better to her but she understood it was a science fiction thing and Randie was rather psyched to see it. I noted that Valerian was only tracking less than half of Dunkirk’s score on Rotten Tomatoes AND we were really pushing it to make a convenient show time for Valerian while there were more available showtimes for Dunkirk.  

However, as I frequently am in the Fortress of Ineptitude, I was outnumbered and our destination was the City Of a Thousand Planets. 

Although to be fair, I was rather curious about this movie myself. 

Valerian & The City Of a Thousand Planets is a visual spectacle with many variations of alien physiology, topography & technology. The city in the title is Alpha, an ever expanding space station that is the culmination of centuries of different human cultures uniting in the exploration of space and further cooperation between humans and alien beings.  Alpha represents cultures and societies from a thousand different worlds. It may seem that Alpha is a utopian ideal of interspecies cooperation but there is a  dark secret buried in Alpha’s core.

Years ago, a planet called Mul was caught in the crossfire of an intergalactic war. A human commander declared Mul as uninhabited which was a bit of a shock to the peaceful natives who inhabited it. Some Mul managed to survive and find their way to Alpha’s core. From there, the Mul plot their escape from exile and the return to their own world.  But the war commander is now in command of Alpha and fiercely determined to keep his secrets. 

Lacking any familiarity with the source material was not a detriment to understanding this world and what was going on. I've watched enough Star Trek to recognize the old "person in authority uses power and influence to cover up a bad thing only to make things worse" plot. (I'm looking at you, Star Trek : The Undiscovered Country, Star Trek: Insurrection and Star Trek: Into Darkness.)  In a world as complex as this City of a Thousand Planets, a basic easy to follow plot is not a detriment. And the movie is still quite engaging with several action sequences infused with humor. 

Where Valerian& The City Of a Thousand Planets lacks is with Valerian himself. Portrayed by Dane DeHaan, Valerian is introduced as a young, cocksure prick with abundant skills but sorely lacking in maturity and focus. For example, we're told he has a phenomenally good memory which isn't worth much if he doesn't bother to read the mission memo.

OK, we know the type. Han Solo in Star Wars, Tony Stark in Iron Man. But Harrison Ford and Robert Downey Jr made these guys likeable in spite of the douchebaggery.

Valerian by the end of the movie isn't there. He's seen things and experienced things that should make him a better person by the end of the movie. But you don't believe it. The opportunities are there in the story but Dane DeHaan 's portrayal of Valerian does not deliver.

Sergeant Laureline, Valerian's partner & love interest, fares a bit better with Cara Delevingne in the role, a sardonic adventurer who seems to have some small affection for Valerian for some reason.  

There are a trio of aliens, like duck billed armadillos, who are information brokers always looking for a score that move the plot alone with comic relief.  

There are some other standout performances from Alain Chabat as Bob the Pirate, Ethan Hawke as Jolly the Pimp (think U2's The Edge but covered in neon) & Rihanna as Bubble, a shapeshifting entertainer. Bubble is a surprisingly sweet and interesting character whose tragic demise is one of the most moving events in the film. Kudos to Rihanna to making me care about Bubble.  

Over all, I enjoyed the world brought to lavish and spectacular life by director Luc Beeson. If you enjoyed his work on The 5th Element, you should enjoy Valerian& The City Of a Thousand Planets despite the hole in the middle that is Dane DeHaan. (Sorry, Dane.)   

OK, that's that for today. Until next time, remember to be good to one another.