Haitians In Jeopardy

*Greetings! The following blog post is very silly and we apologize for it in advance.

The editorial staff of I’m So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. 

Ken:  Welcome back and it’s time for Final Jeopardy.  Our clue today is National Origins.  And the clue is “This is where Haitians come from.”  Now let’s see how our contestants responded.  Donnie?

 

Donnie: That’s PRESIDENT….

 

Ken:  Yeah, whatever.  For “This is where Haitians come from”, you wrote “What is Venezuela?”  

 

Donnie: I win! Always with the winning! I win so much, people come up to me, big strong guys, tears in their eyes, they say "We've never seen so much winning!"   

 

Ken: No, I’m sorry but you are incorrect….

 

Donnie: Lots of people, smart people, scholars, say I am correct! 

 

Ken:  “What is Venezuela?” is not the correct response….

 

Donnie: But Venezuela is opening up their prisons, their insane asylums…..

 

Ken: Let’s move on our next contestant, J D.

 

JD: Always happy to engage with a fellow human being type person.

 

Ken:  You wrote “What is Haitia?”  Oof! I’m sorry, “Haitia” is not the correct response.

 

JD: I want to change my answer.

 

Ken: You can’t change your answer.

 

JD:  I want to change it to Venezuela.

 

Ken: AND we’ve already ruled that Venezuela is incorrect.

 

JD: My boss says it is correct.

 

Donnie: Stop talking, JD!

 

JD: Yes, sir! Shutting up now, sir!

 

Donnie: And Venezuela is sending all it’s criminals who are eating our cats and…

 

Ken: Moving on to our 3rd contestant named Laura.

 

Laura: Hey, y'all!  

 

Ken: And the response to "This is where Haitians comes from",  you wrote "What is Africa?" 

 

Laura:  Ka-ching, am I right? 

Ken: No, no, you are not. Your response is not only incorrect but also disturbingly racist.

Laura: Why? Haitians are black, ain't they? 

Ken: OK, the correct response to "This is where Haitians come from" is "What is Haiti?"   

Donnie: It’s Venezuela!

Laura: Venezuela is in Africa, honey!  

 

JD: Can I call you "honey" too, sir?  

 

Donnie: Stop talking, JD!

 

JD: Yes, sir! Shutting up now, sir!

 

Ken: Thank you for watching Jeopardy.

 

Donnie: They’re eating the pets!

 

Ken: It's against my religion but I’m going to go get stupid drunk now!

Donnie: I will send the Haitians back to Venezuela!

JD: Can someone give me a ride back to the airport?