"No Way To Prevent This"

Click here for the story the Onion posts every time there is a mass shooting.

Sadly, they post this story a lot.  

And in case you were wondering...

Florida School Shooting Was 

the 18th School Shooting of the Year. 

Amended 02/16/2018: It appears this story about the number of school shootings has been discredited.

Food For Thought

So Li’l Donnie Trump wants to replace food stamps with food boxes

 

Say what?

 

Food boxes are all the rage these days with deliveries of fresh food and vegetables to make a nice meal with salmon and parsley. What’s being proposed here is nowhere near that nice but the idea is the USDA can buy food cheaper wholesale than people can at retail so it’s being pitched as a cost cutter for the government. These USDA food boxes would not include salmon and parsley but canned meats and vegetables as well as peanut butter and other non-perishable staples that can be put on a shelf.

 

Where the hell did this idea come from?

 

Conservative think tanks have never asked for this. 

Nobody in the food producing industry has ever asked for this.  
Previous administrations have never asked for this.

 

The proposal was so out of left field that some anti-hunger advocates initially thought it was a joke.

 

How would this box program address dietary restrictions due to health or allergies, due to religious beliefs?

 

What about delivery costs? How will this get to outlying rural areas? 

 

The Food Research and Action Center, a prominent nonprofit group, called the harvest box idea “a Rube-Goldberg designed system” that would be “costly, inefficient, stigmatizing, and prone to failure.”

 

Hey, all you poor people out there who voted for this moron, how you liking Trump now?  
__________________________________________________________


I've been on food stamps before. I was a kid and both my mom and dad were out of work. Being on food stamps was nothing to be proud of but it was a good thing to have in a time of need.


I'm sure we would not appreciated having to stand in line for a box of food. We had some dignity to decide what we wanted to eat. We didn't waste food stamps on junk food, I'll tell you that. 


We got food stamps as long as we needed them. When we didn't need them, we didn't get them anymore. Simple as that.   


This "harvest box" idea is just another way to ostracize the
already marginalized in society in a bid to save money that goes to those in need to pay for a tax cut for the wealthy who don't need it. 

Enter: Korea

So I was watching some of the opening ceremony of the 2018 Winter Olympics, watching nation after nation enter the venue when this happened.

Enter: Korea.

Not South Korea.

Not North Korea.

Just simply Korea.  

Athletes from both nations coming together in a spirit of unity and friendship.

It was a moment of genuine importance, showing the way to peace between two countries long divided. A heartwarming moment.

Mike Pence was being a dick about it. 

So Pence is in South Korea to support the American Olympic team. Meanwhile the peace breaking out between the two Koreas which pisses Pence off.

Pence dismisses North Korea's cooperation with South Korea at the Olympics as propaganda. And what about Kim Jung Un who's still a bit antsy with his nukes? And what about all the human rights abuses going on unchecked in North Korea? What about all that bad stuff. 

Pence thinks South Koreans are being played for suckers.

And who knows, maybe they are. 

Sometimes that's what it takes to find peace, to find love: a willingness to take a risk of being played for suckers. 

You would think that Pence, alleged good Christian person, would understand what's at stake here. There's some good ol' turning of the other cheek and forgiving a brother for the thousandth time. I think Jesus would be impressed. 

Pence, who claims Jesus as his Lord and Savior, is being a dick about it. Pointedly ignoring the North Koreans, no greetings, no handshakes, even avoiding eye contact. 

During the parade of nations, Pence sat stone faced when this happened. 

Oh my God! Which ones are South Koreans? Which ones are from the north? Mike Pence, alleged good Christian person, isn't sure who he should hate. 

You know, Pence,maybe you're right and this feeling of peace and goodwill and fellowship between these two long divided countries is only fleeting and will fade when the Olympics are over.  

Maybe North Korea is playing South Korea for suckers.

Then they'll just have to try it again another day.  

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!…

Matthew 18:21-22

Too Many Comic Book Movies?

If you visited 12 year old me and told me that one day, there will be major motion pictures based on comic book superheroes, I would’ve scarcely believed you. At 12, even the first Christopher Reeve Superman movie was a few years out.  

 

If you went on to tell me that some of those major motion pictures would feature such minor comic book characters like Ant-Man and Black Panther, well, you would’ve really stretched the credulity of my 12 year old mind.

 

And if also told me that there would be so many major motion pictures based on comic book superheroes, there would be concerns of there being too many, I may have begun to cry for my mommy because, dude, I’m only 12 and you’re a strange ass time traveler spouting off about major motion pictures based on comic book superheroes. You’re from the future! Is there anything really important I should know? Like how it’s really important to not let a certain New York City real estate developer anywhere near the White House? That sort of thing? 

 

Anyway, back to major motion pictures based on comic book superheroes, today saw the release of a teaser for Venom.

 

So yeah, there may be too many of these damn things now.

 

Venom is a character from Spider-Man, a villain or an anti-hero, depending on the needs of the plot. Venom appeared on screen in Sam Raimi’s maligned third Spider-Man movie. I’m guessing this version is spinning out of the current iteration of Spider-Man from last year’s Homecoming movie starring Tom Holland as the web spinning Peter Parker. Originally, Sony wanted to spin off some villain themed movies from Amazing Spider-Man starring Andrew Garfield as Spidey, to create a universe to counter Marvel’s. After the disappointment of Amazing 2, Sony figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em and worked out a deal to share Spider-Man with Marvel.

 

But apparently Sony’s plans for spin offs continued and Venom got made.

 

Really? Is anyone really anxiously awaiting a solo film featuring Venom?

 

This year, Marvel is coming out with Black Panther (reviews are coming in and they are very good!), Avengers: Infinity War and Ant-Man & the Wasp. DC has Aquaman this year. I think Fox as an X-Men movie coming out soon. It was already going to be a packed year for comic book movies. Venom seem like just one movie too many. Venom also seems like Sony just trying to squeeze blood out of the one stone it has access to.

 

I think it’s great that we’re living in this golden age of major motion pictures based on comic book superheroes. Even with all that we’ve seen, there is still so much more new ground to cover but I hate to think of those opportunities lost because movie studios strangled the life out of this particular golden goose with too many movies. 12 year old me would be really sad to hear that golden age came to an end. 

Random Thoughts

Li’l Donnie Trump wants a military parade and it looks like the Pentagon is looking into it. So Trump’s transformation into Kim Jung Un continues. Nobody showed up for his inauguration. Now he can have a big party because he can order people to be there. This is just about feeding his ego.

 

Under the subject of “never under estimating stupidity”, about 75% of Trump voters think the FBI is plotting against Li’l Donnie. The full court press by Trump and moron minions like Devin Nunes is working, at least on the dumb ass base that put Trump in office.  Fox “News” is really banging on this drum pretty damn hard. And guess where the Trump base gets 95% of its news?

 

Meanwhile, the Russians are helping. A number of pro-Trump, anti-Mueller hash tags trending on Twitter have been directly linked to Russian created bots and programs or individuals with strong sympathies to the Kremlin.

 

If the world seems too crazy and you just want to get off the planet, here's some good news: SpaceX successfully launched a rocket and sent Elon Musk’s Tesla roadster into space.  The rocket did not blow up on the launch pad so that was a good thing. The rocket blasting through the upper atmosphere did look pretty cool which was another goal for SpaxeX. Did not explode? Check! Look cool? Check! Good job, guys! Take five, smoke 'em if you got ‘em. 

 

Looking towards stepping off this mortal coil are a number of musicians who have announced farewell tours. Paul Simon will be getting underway with his “See Me Before I Die” tour and Elton John has stated his next tour will be his last.  Ozzy Osbourne is also on a farewell tour although I think he might be about 20 years too late; I think Ozzy has been dead for a while but is in too much of a drug induced stupor to actually fall down.  

Tammy Duckworth Is Totally Awesome!

So get a load of this load of shit from our Moron In Chief, Li’l Donnie Trump:  

 

“Even on positive news like that, really positive news like that, they were like death and un-American. Somebody said ‘treasonous.’ I mean, yeah, I guess, why not? Shall we call that treason? Why not? I mean, they certainly didn’t seem to love our country very much.”

 

As you know, Trump can’t let go of any slight and took issue with Democrats not applauding him during his State of the Union address last week, you know, the State of the Union with the highest TV ratings EVER. (No, it wasn’t).  

 

White House spokesman Hogan Gidley told NBC News that Trump was speaking “tongue in cheek” and was simply saying that all Americans, regardless of party, should celebrate positive news.

 

So Trump was just kidding? Well, fuck him and the weird hair thing that lives on his shit filled head.

 

Here’s what Democrat Senator Tammy Duckworth from Illinois had to say about that.

 

“We don’t live in a dictatorship or monarchy. I swore an oath — in the military and in the Senate — to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, not to mindlessly cater to the whims of Cadet Bone Spurs and clap when he demands I clap!”

 

“Cadet Bone Spurs”? God, I think I love this woman. 

Duckworth’s nickname for Trump references his claim that he was granted medical deferment during the Vietnam War after bone spurs in his feet were diagnosed.

 

Duckworth, who lost her legs in 2004 while serving in Iraq as an Army helicopter pilot, has zero chill when it comes to Trump’s inane conduct and more power to her.

 

In addition, Sen. Duckworth had this to say: “Thankfully, there are better quotes from better Republican Presidents. Here’s one from Theodore Roosevelt—a Republican who earned the applause he received—that Trump might want to consider.

 

Theodore Roosevelt wrote this during World War I: “To announce that there must be no criticism of the president or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.”

 

OK, we need a time go back in time to bring Theodore Roosevelt to the present where he can kick Trump’s ass and the collective ass of the capitulating Republicans who enable him. 

 

In a Senate floor speech last month, Duckworth called Trump a “five-deferment draft dodger” who had no business accusing Democrats — like herself — of not caring for the military. “Does he even know that there are service members who are in harm’s way right now, watching him, looking for their commander in chief to show leadership, rather than to try to deflect blame?”

 

The speech was prompted by a tweet in which Trump accused Democrats of “holding our Military hostage over their desire to have unchecked illegal immigration.”

 

The junior senator also accused Trump of trying to bait North Korea into a war by escalating his rhetoric against Kim Jong Un.

 

“I have a message for ‘Cadet Bone Spurs: If you cared about our military, you’d stop baiting Kim Jong Un into a war that could put 85,000 American troops, and millions of innocent civilians, in danger.”

 

God, I think I love this woman. 

 

Tammy Duckworth from Illinois, you are totally fucking awesome!

 

This (Non) Sporting Life: My Super Bowl Post

welcome to an installment of This (Non) Sporting Life, a sports themed post by a guy who doesn't know much about sports. Today's topic: the Super Bowl  

Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles for winning the Super Bowl in what was a really good game with the New England Patriots. I don’t know a lot about football, but it seemed to me there were two well matched team out there that played a competitive game for four innings quarters. 

 

The halftime show was a bit of a bust. Sorry, Justin Timberlake but there was something a bit rote and soulless about this performance. Even the tribute to Prince was lacking in energy and genuine emotion which is not something anyone should say when evoking His Purple Royal Highness. One problem for JT he kept getting lost in the crowd on his own stage. Apparently he'd going for a muted palette for his outfit in keeping with the theme of his new "Man of the Woods" album (which is not getting good reviews.) I think JT is in need for an SNL spot to get some juice back

 

The ads were pretty cool. I think my favorite was the one for Rocket Mortgage where Keegan Michael Key keeps popping up to explain things. But a close second were the Tide ads where you think it’s add about one thing or another then David Harbour (Stranger Things) pops up and oh yeah, you’re in a Tide ad. The Doritos spot with Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones) was funky and frightening. I was scared he was going to burn right through the TV screen.

We got to see a spot for Avengers: Infinity War and <insert fanboy squee!>! I have to say the most epic movie ad I saw during the Super Bowl was for Skyscraper with Dwayne Johnson. Think Die Hard but in an even TALLER building. AND with Dwayne Johnson. 

Anyway, congrats to the Philadelphia Eagles! Fine job, guys! And to the fans in Philadelphia, please don't be total dicks about it, OK?