A Dining Disaster Story

This past Saturday, traumatized by the ending of Avengers: Infinity War, we needed food and decided that the food should be accompanied by a milkshake. So we were off to Steak ‘N’ Shake. 

 

About a block away from Steak ‘N’ Shake, we were heading towards a turn lane to get to the street where the restaurant was located. The driver of a white sedan realizes at the last minute they need to be in that lane as well and they get there by abruptly yanking their car into the lane ahead of ours with little space to spare. My daughter Randie was driving and was a bit rattled by that. I advised Randie to be cool, no one got hurt and she handled the situation very well. But as we followed the white sedan into the parking lot of Steak ‘N’ Shake, we were less magnanimous.  There is no way that these fuckers who almost caused an accident with their reckless driving are going to get a table ahead of us. So we parked and quickly made our way to the entrance of Steak ‘N’ Shake before the occupants of the white sedan, an adult man and woman with a young boy.

 

My family was seated and a minute later, this other family gets seated nearby where I can see them. A-ha, you recklessly driving fuckers! You pulled ahead of us in a reckless driving maneuver but we still got our table first! HA!

 

And as we calmly and patiently awaited someone to take our order, I watch as a waitress approached the other family’s table to take their order. What the fuck? Really?!??!

 

Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I calmly extricated myself from our table and calmly sought out the hostess to calmly relay my misgivings.  

 

I approached the hostess and said, “Er, excuse me but no one has come to our table to take our order.”

 

“Well, we are very busy,” the hostess observed.

 

My brain immediately drafted up the following response to that. 

 

“Yes, I can fucking see you are quite fucking  busy. But I fucking observed fucking others who were fucking seated after we fucking were who have already been fucking waited on.”

 

I opted to keep that interpretation to myself. 

 

Instead, I calmly concurred with the hostess’ observation as I calmly noted, “Yes, I can see you are quite busy. But I observed others who were seated after we were who have already been waited on.”

 

The hostess offered her apologies and said she would see what she can do.  I calmly nodded and calmly returned to our table where I calmly sat down.

 

My wife Andrea asked what happened when I spoke with the hostess. 

 

My brain immediately drafted up the following response to that. 

 

“What the FUCK do you think happened?!”  

 

I opted to keep that interpretation to myself as I calmly replied, “Let’s give it another 2 minutes, okay?”  

 

At the end of those 2 minutes with no attention from a wait person as I watched the other family, the fuckers who do not know how to fucking drive were being served their food, we arose from our table and took our leave of the Steak ‘N’ Shake. 

And I am so glad my suffering amuses you.