But no! Li'l Donnie Trump is still pissed off about so many things and it's hard to keep track.
The ghost of John McCain!
The ultimate dream target of a deranged bully: someone who can't fight back because they are dead.
The ghost of Barbara Bush!
Well, fuck, Donald! Really? In an interview, Trump said he heard the former first lady was "nasty" towards him. Trump profess to understand that because he beat her son, Jeb. If Barbara were alive to retort, she would explain that Jeb's defeat is the least of her issues with you, you lying fat fuck and your egregious lack of ethics, morality and empathy. Except Barbara Bush wouldn't say it like that because she was a genuinely classy lady. Well, I'm not "classy" or a "lady" so I'll call you a lying fat fuck!
The ultimate dream target of a deranged bully: someone who can't fight back because they are dead.
The ghost of Barbara Bush!
Well, fuck, Donald! Really? In an interview, Trump said he heard the former first lady was "nasty" towards him. Trump profess to understand that because he beat her son, Jeb. If Barbara were alive to retort, she would explain that Jeb's defeat is the least of her issues with you, you lying fat fuck and your egregious lack of ethics, morality and empathy. Except Barbara Bush wouldn't say it like that because she was a genuinely classy lady. Well, I'm not "classy" or a "lady" so I'll call you a lying fat fuck!
Puerto Rico!
Trump is still pissed at Puerto Rico. It plays well to his racist base of followers who, like Trump, do not understand that the people of Puerto Rico are US citizens. Seriously! I can't help but wonder that Trump thinks Puerto Rico is a suburb of Mexico. Speaking of which...
Mexico!
Trump is pissed that Mexico isn't stopping people from other countries that are not Mexico from coming into the United States. I think in Li'l Donnie's pea sized brain is a map that shows all the territory down from the Rio Grande down into Central America and even on down into South America and it's all one color and it's labeled Mexico.
Trump is still pissed at Puerto Rico. It plays well to his racist base of followers who, like Trump, do not understand that the people of Puerto Rico are US citizens. Seriously! I can't help but wonder that Trump thinks Puerto Rico is a suburb of Mexico. Speaking of which...
Mexico!
Trump is pissed that Mexico isn't stopping people from other countries that are not Mexico from coming into the United States. I think in Li'l Donnie's pea sized brain is a map that shows all the territory down from the Rio Grande down into Central America and even on down into South America and it's all one color and it's labeled Mexico.
Wind!
OK, I don't think anyone saw this one coming. Trump's is pissed off at wind! OK, specifically, renewable energy from wind turbines that drive down house values and (get this!) cause cancer! I know! This fucker who can't stop trying shove coal down our throats (you know, the black shit that produces polluted air and water that drives down house values and causes cancer?) thinks wind power... drives down house values and causes cancer. Also it doesn't work because it's not always windy. Trump notes that he knows a lot about wind!
OK, I don't think anyone saw this one coming. Trump's is pissed off at wind! OK, specifically, renewable energy from wind turbines that drive down house values and (get this!) cause cancer! I know! This fucker who can't stop trying shove coal down our throats (you know, the black shit that produces polluted air and water that drives down house values and causes cancer?) thinks wind power... drives down house values and causes cancer. Also it doesn't work because it's not always windy. Trump notes that he knows a lot about wind!
Oranges?
Those pesky round fruits are stealing his skin color! OK, seriously, Trump was going off the other day on the Robert Mueller investigations which resulted in Trump's "total exoneration" don't you know. So Li'l Donnie was off on a rant wanting an investigation into the investigation to discover the origins of the miscarriage of justice which Trump will remind you resulted in his "total exoneration". But he didn't say "origins". He kept saying "oranges". Some people wonder if Trump is a fucking moron and others wonder if the motherfucker had a stroke. I say Trump is a fucking moron who had a stroke. Which means the drooling brain dead idiots who go to Trump rallies will love him even more.
Those pesky round fruits are stealing his skin color! OK, seriously, Trump was going off the other day on the Robert Mueller investigations which resulted in Trump's "total exoneration" don't you know. So Li'l Donnie was off on a rant wanting an investigation into the investigation to discover the origins of the miscarriage of justice which Trump will remind you resulted in his "total exoneration". But he didn't say "origins". He kept saying "oranges". Some people wonder if Trump is a fucking moron and others wonder if the motherfucker had a stroke. I say Trump is a fucking moron who had a stroke. Which means the drooling brain dead idiots who go to Trump rallies will love him even more.
Robert Mueller
OK, Robert turned in his report, he gets to go home at night at a decent hour to watch Wheel of Fortune and it's all over, right? Trump got his "total exoneration" so we're all good. But we're not. Trump still thinks Mueller was up to no good with the help of his team of crazed Democrats. And gee, I wonder who put them up to that?
Hillary ClintonOK, Robert turned in his report, he gets to go home at night at a decent hour to watch Wheel of Fortune and it's all over, right? Trump got his "total exoneration" so we're all good. But we're not. Trump still thinks Mueller was up to no good with the help of his team of crazed Democrats. And gee, I wonder who put them up to that?
Look, Donnie won the electoral college, he got to be President. Can't he let it go? Shit no, he can't. He still brings her up and still calls her "Crooked Hillary". Hear Trump talk about her, you think Hillary's lurking in a secret lair and plotting to make Donald's life miserable. And if it's not her, it's gotta be....
Barack Obama!
Trump still blames every bad thing on Obama like Barack was Lex Luthor on a bender with a rocket pack over Metropolis. It probably irks Li'l Donnie that Barack's black ass slept in the same bedroom Donald sleeps in. You just know that bothers Trump a LOT!
Health care!
Trump's going after Obamacare again. His Justice Department is supporting a law suit to get the entire Affordable Care Act tossed out. Republicans in Congress are cringing, wishing like hell that Li'l Donnie would shut the fuck up about health care. The GOP tried to kill it but they couldn't. Turns out the ACA has done some good and enough people like it. Trump doesn't care. It's an Obama thing and therefore it must go.
The Bronx!
How dare his father be born in the Bronx! Germany is so much nicer place than the Bronx to be born in. Trump has made the claim on separate occasions that his father was born in Germany, not the Bronx. OK, his grandfather was born in Germany so it was a slip of the tongue. Mistakes happen. Except Trump said it again. And again.
CNN!
Of course.
MSNBCHow dare his father be born in the Bronx! Germany is so much nicer place than the Bronx to be born in. Trump has made the claim on separate occasions that his father was born in Germany, not the Bronx. OK, his grandfather was born in Germany so it was a slip of the tongue. Mistakes happen. Except Trump said it again. And again.
CNN!
Of course.
Indubitably.
Fox News
Wait! What now? Apparently during one of his many, many hours of executive time while glued to Fox News, he happened upon a few reporters who said something factual that countered Trump's world view and was not part of the usual fawning adoration he's used to getting on Fox.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Trump recently dismissed her as a lowly bartender. And a damn fine one, I imagine. None of the bars where the future Congressperson from New York once bartended were forced to declare bankruptcy to wipe out millions of dollars in debt. Not that anything like that ever happened to Donald Trump repeatedly. But what does Trump care? Of course he looks down his nose at her; she was born in the Bronx!
Oh, we could go on with this list!
Nancy Pelosi
Chuck Shumer
Saturday Night Live!Trump recently dismissed her as a lowly bartender. And a damn fine one, I imagine. None of the bars where the future Congressperson from New York once bartended were forced to declare bankruptcy to wipe out millions of dollars in debt. Not that anything like that ever happened to Donald Trump repeatedly. But what does Trump care? Of course he looks down his nose at her; she was born in the Bronx!
Oh, we could go on with this list!
Nancy Pelosi
Chuck Shumer
Stephen Colbert!
Twitter!
Google!
The Washington Post!
The New York Times!
George Conway!
But I am tired.
Meanwhile, sitting on his toilet, cellphone in his tiny sweaty hands, Donald Trump peers intently into the electric glow, prepared to declare war on something else.
"I'm so glad my suffering amuses you," he mutters to himself, slowly sounding out each word and syllable. "This Dave-El is deranged. A LOSER!"
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