Cinema Sunday: Road to Bali

When discussing movie comedies, you might hear something described as being "like a Hope-Crosby road picture".  

What pray tell is "a Hope-Crosby road picture"?

Back in the mid-20th century, comedian Bob Hope and singer Bing Crosby made seven movies where they would play a pair of not quite trustworthy pals, conning their way on a journey from one place to another, the road to this place or that.

Today Cinema Sunday takes a look a one of these "road" pictures, from 1953, it's Road To Bali. 

George (Bing Crosby) and Harold (Bob Hope) are a pair of American song-and-dance men performing in Melbourne, Australia but they gotta book it out of town pretty darn quick to extricate themselves from various marriage proposals. 

They end up in Darwin. George and Howard are flat broke and need money to get out of Australia and back to America. And the only job openings are jobs as deep sea divers for a island prince. Neither man has any experience with deep sea diving so naturally they get the job.   

George and Harold are brought to an idyllic island between Australia and Bali, Indonesia. The two men get twitterpated over the beautiful exotic charms of the half-Scottish Princess Lala.

Half Scottish? Well, even in 1952, we needed a reason why Dorothy Lamour could be an island princess.  

There's a hazardous dive which includes a frightful encounter with a giant squid (courtesy of stolen footage from another movie).  Escaping from the prince and his henchmen, George, Harold and Lala abscond with the recovered treasure chest of priceless jewels.

And we're OFF on the road to Bali! George and Harold take turns wooing the lovely Lala who is so inexplicably moved by their script mandated charms, she can't decide between the two of them.  

Then....Whoops! Shipwreck! Stuck on an island with a tribe that may or may not be about to eat them, Lala gets married off to the island's chief while George and Harold wind up somehow getting married to each other.  

Uh oh! The volcano god is most displeased and BOOM! 

A massive eruption of molten magma sends our intrepid trio to another tropical isle where Lala chooses George over Harold. Undaunted, Harold uses a magic basket (procured earlier in the film, forgot to mention that) to conjure up Jane Russell her own damn voluptuous self for his own pleasure. But damned if Jane Russell doesn't also pick George over Harold. 

Harold is not having this shit and doesn't think the movie should end this way, forcefully pushing away the "THE END" graphic to keep the movie from ending before he gets laid by one of these women, damn it! 

And we fade to black and... "THE END".

The "It's That Person Who Was In That Thing" Department 

The big game hunter who wanders into a scene with George and fires his rifle is described by George as "my brother, I promised he could have a shot in the movie". Truth in advertising at work: the hunter is Bob Crosby, Bing's brother.  

That really is Humphrey Bogart courtesy of footage from The African Queen. 

And that is also really Jane Russell as her character from the Bob Hope starring comedy film Son of Paleface (1952).  

And the floating heads in Lala's dream really are Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.  Hope and Crosby would repay the favor with a similar cameo the following in year Martin and Lewis's Scared Stiff.

The giant squid that threatens Bob Hope previously attacked Ray Milland in Reap the Wild Wind (1942), directed by Cecil B. DeMille. 

And finally, the erupting volcano had previously worked on Aloma of the South Seas (1941) which also starred Dorothy Lamour.

There's breaking the fourth wall and then there's Bob Hope shattering it with a jack hammer. In one scene where Bing Crosby is about to sing, Hope looks at the camera and "He's gonna sing, folks. Now's the time to go out and get the popcorn."

And there's Hope's futile struggled with the keeping the film from reaching "THE END" before he can get the girl, a girl, any girl.  

Road To Bali is the only one of the seven Hope-Crosby "Road" pictures to filmed in technicolor. 

And this movie is a brightly hued lark that almost feels like a live action cartoon. Replace Bing Crosby with Bugs Bunny and Bob Hope with Daffy Duck and the story would still work. 

The whole template of the Hope Crosby "Road" movie has inspired other movies and TV shows. 

Rounding out today's post is a clip from an episode of Family Guy, a series that as a whole I don't particularly care for but this specific episode was a gem. Here Brian and Stewie get their Hope and Crosby on for "The Road To Rhode Island".  

Songs For Saturday (Series Finale): Travelling Wilburys, Abba and 10,000 Maniacs

 It's Saturday and that means it's time for another installment of.....

But for today, this particular Saturday, it is the LAST installment of Songs For Saturday.

I still like music and everything but I've decided to end this particular weekly feature of the blog. 

Given this time of endings, today's play list theme is along those lines. 

First up are the Travelling Wilburys with "The End of the Line". 

Up next is ABBA with "When All Is Said and Done". 

Rounding out today's play list is one my favorite songs, "More Than This" and one one my favorite versions of this song, a live performance by 10,000 Maniacs. 

And that is that for Songs For Saturday.

I do reserve the right to dust off Batman in his headphones for some random future music spotlights. 

But for now this is the end of this regular feature.

Even without this regular weekly feature, always keep the music alive. 

And always be good to one another.    

FLASHBACK FRIDAY (Series Finale!): Lea Thompson, Comic Book Goddess

 This past weekend, Lea Thompson got her nerd cred on by hosting a Star Trek panel at Comic Con. 

In honor of Lea's appearance and (and as a going away present for this, the end of this blog's Flashback Friday feature), we dip back in time to Wednesday, August 3, 2016 for a classic clog post I called...

Lea Thompson, Comic Book Goddess

This week marked the 30^th anniversary of the release of Howard the Duck, the first major motion picture based on a Marvel Comics character.

And for the longest time, very nearly the last.

Howard the Duck is notorious for being a big stinker. It laid an egg. It wasn’t all it was quacked up to be. It couldn’t duck all the bad reviews. This movie was all ducked up. It was-

Yeah, you get the picture.

Me, I  saw Howard the Duck on Friday night of the first weekend of release and I liked it just fine. Of course, I didn’t get out that much so my bar for being entertained was pretty low. It also helped that Howard the Duck also starred Lea Thompson.

Lea was Beverly, a singer fronting an all-girl rock ‘n’ roll band who winds up involved in the life of the movie’s titular duck. (“Titular Duck” would be a great name for an all-girl rock ‘n’ roll band.)  My attraction to Lea was not just because she was a beautiful woman but, well, I don’t want to say Beverly’s standard were low, just very flexible.

Yes, Beverly sleeps with Howard.

No, it’s not icky! Don’t disrespect Lea Thompson’s artistic choices!

Anyway, Howard the Duck was a bomb but Lea Thompson survived to go on to bigger and better things in Back to the Future and star in her own NBC sitcom, Caroline in the City.

But Lea has not forgotten her Howard the Duck roots. When she was on Dancing With the Stars a few seasons back (where she was robbed, I tells ya! ROBBED!), she was seen striking this alluring pose while wearing a Howard the Duck jacket.

Yes, I’ve posted this pic before. But c’mon! Look at her! I mean, WOW!

I may post it again, even if I can’t necessarily tie a post to either Lea Thompson or Howard the Duck.

Secretary of State John Kerry announces
new initiative for peace talks in
Syria’s years long civil war.

So clearly Lea Thompson embraces the Howard the Duck part of her life. In fact, she gave the OK to the creative team on the current Howard the Duck comic book to include her in a recent issue.

Lea Thompson's big entrance at the end of Howard the Duck#8

Lea Thompson posing with the original artwork from
Howard the Duck#8. With Lea is Joe Quinones,
the current artist on Howard and the luckiest man alive!

Yes, Lea Thompson is part of the Marvel Universe! I’d like to see Thanos try something now! Never mind Captain America or Thor! We’ve got Lea Thompson, bee-yotch!

Here are some pages from Lea's appearance in Howard the Duck#9.

 As for Howard the Duck, there have been rumors that ol’ Howard could get another shot at the big time, perhaps another movie or a Netflix series. We’ve already seen him in  the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the post credits scene for Guardians of the Galaxy. 

I'm not sure I'm on board with that. It seems fitting for Howard to have the honor of being Marvel's first major movie star but with a movie no one liked. 

And really, Howard the Duck the movie is not really all that bad. It could be worse.

Howard the Duck#9 is on sale at your local comic book store.

Howard the Duck the movie can be found in the $5 bin at Wal-Mart. 

Lea Thompson's sexy self can be found right here with a feature I call...

NEWS HEADLINES WITH LEA THOMPSON!

U.S. Opens New Front Against ISIS

American Jimmy Walker Wins PGA Championship

 Tokyo Elects First Woman Governor

14 Beauty Products That Will Make You Look Out Of This World 

Art by Joe Quinones

***************************************

Yep, as I said at the start, today marks the end of Flashback Friday. 

I may establish a regular reprint spot on the blog sometime in the future but for now but it ain't happening on Friday anymore.,

Tomorrow marks another ending for the blog with the finale of Songs For Saturday. 

Be good to one another.   

Sorry We're Closed

 Taking a couple of days off from the blog thing.

I'll be back on Friday for the series finale of Flashback Friday and the day after that for the series finale of Songs For Saturday.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another.   

Tuesday TV Touchbase: Hacks, What We Do in the Shadows and Only Murders In the Building

It seems the choice of who will host Jeopardy! is to make no choice at all.  Going into season 39, it seems Ken Jennings and Mayim Bialik will continue split up the host duties.

I'm not sure what the logistics are for the producers to keep up with this status quo of both Ken and Mayim taking turns behind the podium but I really think this is an unwieldy arrangement and I don't think it's fair to either Ken or Mayim.

OK, let's get this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase underway.

I recently began catch up on Hacks, a comedy series on HBO Max about the relationship between a young comedy writer and a legendary stand-up comedienne. 

Deborah Vance (Jean Smart) is a legendary Las Vegas stand-up comedy diva on the verge of losing her long time residency at the Palmetto Casino. 

Vance is a veritable fly caught in amber, her act and her jokes a callback to a world decades past. It's an act that has made her exceedingly wealthy and very much locked into outdated attitudes.  

Vance is a strong personality, a force of nature if you will, unapologetically crude and blunt. Vance is a success and sees no reason to change who she is.   Older visitors to Vegas still flock to her sell out shows and still laugh at her well worn and comfortable material. 

The Palmetto, however, is looking to the future and wants to replace her with a younger act to bring in a younger sort of clientele.   

Ava Daniels (Hannah Einbinder) is a young comedy writer who is unable to find work due to an insensitive tweet and her reputation for being self-centered and arrogant. Ava is a full on Gen Z person with zero tolerance for people like Deborah Vance, rooted in the past, taking all the money and leaving nothing for those who come after.  

So naturally Ava gets paired with Deborah in a perhaps futile bid to make the great Deborah Vance remain great and more relevant to modern audiences.  

It does not go well.   But the real story here is what Ava and Deborah discover interacting with each other.  Yes, Deborah Vance is a rich privileged bitch but damn it, she fought hard to get to where she is, sacrificed so much.  

While digging through archives of Vance's material, Ava finds a long lost copy of the pilot Deborah Vance shot as the host of her own late night talk show.  Ava catches herself actually laughing at Deborah jokes and enjoying the show. Deborah Vance was once on the cusp of breaking through the all men's club of late night TV talk show hosts but the pilot never aired, the show never went to series, brought low by the short sighted sexism of network executives.  

It makes Ava realize Deborah's role as trailblazer and her genuine talents as a humorous storyteller.  And Deborah in turn acknowledges that Ava has something to teach her.

The relationship between these two very different women is frequently contentious, confusing and complex which is what makes Hacks such compelling television.

What We Do In the Shadows is back for it's 4th season.  The blow up of the status quo at the end of season 3 is quickly resolved with a one year later time jump. Lazlo is still at the vampire residence (which has fallen into a state of disrepair) taking care of Baby Colin Robinson (or as Lazlo is frequently ready to correct, "the baby that came out of the corpse of the late Colin Robinson"). Lazlo is determined that this baby will grow into a interesting person and not the dull uninteresting person Colin Robinson used to be. It's clear however as the baby rapidly ages into a young boy that he's just going to be Colin Robinson 2.0.   

Nadja and Guillermo are back from England and Nandor is back from his world travels.  

Nadja opens a vampire nightclub to make money to effect repairs on the vampire residence. Not knowing Nandor returned from his travels with a shit ton of treasure which could more than net the funds to fix the residence. 

But Nandor is holding the treasure as a dowry for a future bride.  Among the treasure is a magic lamp that produces a djinn who is granting Nandor's wishes including bringing back his 37 ex-wives and then disposing of the 36 who really annoy him and over the course of one episode, negotiates with the djinn a wish to give Nandor a bigger penis.  

Basically the vampire gang of What We Do In the Shadows is back to their self absorbed ways.   

And as always Guillermo is holding shit together.    

We're off for the second season of Only Murders In the Building with Mabel (Selena Gomez), Charles (Steve Martin) and Oliver (Martin Short) in the cross hairs of suspicion over the murder of Bunny Folger.  Our trio launches a 2nd season of their podcast to get to the bottom of who murdered the tough as nails board president of the Arconia who spend most of season 1 trying to evict Oliver. 

The 3rd episode of season 2, "The Last Day of Bunny Folger", makes us care about Bunny. And we don't want to. She was a mean old bitch to everyone she met. And yet, we find out she could be kind and generous and sadly, very lonely.  Damn it, we wanted to hate Bunny and be glad she's dead and now we can't.

Mabel gets a girlfriend, Alice (Cara Delevingne) who works in an art gallery. Oliver and Charles greet the arrival of Alice in Mabel's life as too much of a coincidence and regard Alice with suspicion. 

Oliver discovers  Teddy Dimas (Nathan Lane) is back in Arconia and Teddy is quietly processing his rage at Oliver for his role is exposing Teddy's smuggling scheme last season and threatens Oliver that some how, sometime, he's going to fuck him and fuck him hard. 

He may have already when Oliver discovers that his son may be the product of an affair between Oliver's late wife and Teddy Dimas. 

Charles has quite a bit going on.  His old 1990's TV cop show "Brazzos" is being rebooted with a new lead but Charles has been cast as "Uncle Brazzos", confined to a wheelchair and with a hint of dementia which does not sit well with Charles. 

Charles is in contact with Jan, his season 1 girlfriend and the revealed secret killer of season 1. Charles and Jan chat on the phone and she helps with the current murder case.  Being a murderer herself, well, she has some insights.  

Lucy, the teenage daughter of Charles' ex-girlfriend, pops up in season 2.  She has kind of sort of father-daughter relationship with Charles.  Lucy's teen speak leaves Charles baffled and Mabel is lost as well trying to understand her. Lucy is instrumental in helping our trio of podcast detectives discover the secret passages that honeycomb through the interior walls of the Arconia.   

And we find out that at the height of his "Brazzos" fame, Charles cut an album of songs including his big hit, "Angel In Flip Flops".

My biggest complaint with season 2 is this year's celebrity residence of the Arconia. Last season it was Sting who was sublime and silly in his role as a potential suspect. 

This season Sting has moved out and Amy Schumer has moved in and she feels too intrusive, trying too hard to be noticed. 

Still, Only Murders In the Building continues to deftly mix comedy and drama and crime in a very unique and interesting way. 

All three shows in today's post may be have in common that they are all comedies but each show has a distinctive voice and each show is nothing like anything else on television.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.  

Not Enough People

From the pandemic on, you can't just decide to take your car in to be serviced, not without all sorts of ridiculous long delays and wait times.

With this in mind, I set up an appointment to take one my cars in for servicing and an inspection.  The appointment was for Saturday morning with a local Firestone outlet. 

I've had cars serviced through Firestone for years with usually good results. 

But Saturday morning, I got a call before it was time to take my car in.   

Due to issues with too few people available to do too much work, they would not be able to get to my car.

Firestone had taken my reservation to work on my car.

They could not hold my reservation to work on my car.

Unlike Jerry Seinfeld, I did not get into a snit about it. I mean, what can I do? Shit happens sometimes, you know. 

And besides, this whole problem with too much work too do for too few people is not a new problem. 

A favorite restaurant for Andrea and I recently got brought down low by this problem. 

Ham's has been a dining staple in the Greensboro area for ages with some really great sandwiches. They had this really great sub loaded with roast beef, turkey and ham with onions, lettuce, tomato and spicy mustard which was a proverbial bitch to hold in your hands but damn it was good. 

The big thing Ham's made was their deep fried hot potato chips with ranch dipping sauce. As good as their sandwiches are, they are almost an after thought to those chips. 

Ham's started in a small building near mid-town Greensboro but then franchised out to other locations. Alas, the final location shut down a few weeks ago. 

The reason? Understaffing. 

The last couple of times Andrea and I went, the dining room section was closed off so we had to eat in the bar. Which was itself not that busy.  

The sandwiches were still good, the chips were excellent and our wait person was kind and efficient. But there was an emptiness about the place, not just in the dearth of people but in the spirit of the place. 

It was a shock but not a surprise to hear about 2 weeks after our last visit that had to close down.  

Well, shit happens.

And I still need to get my car serviced.    

Cinema Sunday - Thor: Love and Thunder

Today's Cinema Sunday takes us out of the safe and comforting confines of the Fortress of Ineptitude to actually send the family forth to the actual cinema to see a movie in a movie theater.

Today's Cinema Sunday takes us out to see Thor: Love and Thunder. 

As my daughter Randie says, "Well, let's get this over with."

As I wrote when we went to see  Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, "There is an almost sense of obligation to see a Marvel movie if you want to catch up on what happens next and be ready for what's going to happen next, it is almost de rigueur to see whatever Marvel has going on this week."

You may get where Randie is coming from.  

It does seem that whenever Cinema Sunday takes us out of the safe and comforting confines of the Fortress of Ineptitude, it is to see another damn Marvel movie. 

Well, not quite true. We did leave the house to go see Lightyear which is NOT a Marvel movie so there.

It is however still Disney and damn it! Disney is getting all our money.

Anyway...

OK, Thor: Love and Thunder might be another damn Marvel movie but perhaps it is due some consideration beyond the mere obligation to see another damn Marvel movie. 

Taika Waititi directed the damn thing as well as co-writing the screenplay and Taika Waititi is the gifted genius who helped bring to life such wonderful entertainment as Our Flag Means Death and What We Do In the Shadows and also directed the funniest and most kick ass Marvel movie to date, Thor: Ragnorok.  

Thor: Love and Thunder also brings back Natalie Portman as Dr. Jane Foster which is in itself kind of big deal. Apparently Portman's time making Thor: The Dark World was such a miserable experience, Portman was done with the MCU. This is why Dr. Foster has been reduced to name drops in all subsequent Thor appearances.  

So what exactly does Thor: Love and Thunder offer that would bring Natalie Portman back to the MCU?

Dr. Jane Foster is... the Mighty Thor! 

Thor: Love and Thunder introduces one of the most compelling concepts from the comics, of Jane Foster being worthy of Mjolnir and becoming in her own right Thor.

The power of Thor is a blessing and a curse.

Jane Foster has stage 4 cancer. The hammer of Thor gives Jane the power of a god but it also weakens her human body, causing the cancer to advance. The power of Thor is both saving and killing Jane Foster at the same time. 

A chance to play both a super powered hero AND potentially a sad and moving death scene? Of course Natalie Portman wanted back in. 

And it is Dr. Foster's journey of facing death, a last chance at life and an adventure she never dreamed possible only to still have to face death is what drives the heart of Thor: Love and Thunder.

Otherwise....

Well, to paraphrase Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, "It's a Marvel movie and shit has to happen." 

The shit that has to happen is....

Armed with the all-powerful Necrosword, Gorr the God Butcher is on a mission to butcher all gods.  

We first meet Gorr struggling to survive in a barren desert offering fervent prayers to his god, Rapu, that his daughter will not die in this hellhole of a planet. 

She dies. 

And later Gorr meets Rapu who is a total dick about it.  Prayers? Yeah right. Rapu wasn't listening and doesn't care.

Boom! Rapu gets killed by Gorr. 

Other gods we meet in Omnipotence City are a bunch of self centered pricks more concerned with their own pleasures that of being any help to others in need. (At the top of their meeting agenda is planning for the upcoming orgy.) Zeus in particular is an especially obnoxious prick. 

With gods like these, it's hard root against Gorr the God Butcher. 

But he is the movie's bad guy and does some bad stuff. Like kidnapping the children of New Asgard to lure Thor Odinson into a trap to I guess kill the god of thunder (butchering gods is kinda of Gorr's thing, you know) and steal Thor Odinson's mystic axe Stormbreaker to use it's power to summon the Bifrost, enter the realm of Eternity who will grant Gorr's wish to destroy all gods. 

Eternity is fairly comics accurate

But it does bring up a bunch of questions. If Eternity exists within the MCU, why didn't Thanos just use Eternity to wish half the universe dead instead of chasing down Infinity Stones to power of the gauntlet to blah blah blah.  

The plan is not to let Gorr get his hands on Stormbreaker. 

But shit happens, Gorr gets his hands on Stormbreaker and gets to Eternity to make his wish. 

But not before Thor holding a dying Jane Foster (who used Mjolnir to power up as Mighty Thor one last time to save Thor Odinson's life at the expense of her own) pleads with Gorr to ask Eternity for a favor born from love, not hate. 

Gorr makes his wish for his daughter to live again. 

Jane dies, Gorr dies, the kids get back to Asgard and Thor now has an adoptive daughter and we're all good.

Final post credit scene: Heimdall welcomes Jane Foster to Valhalla.  

Odds and ends

Tessa Thompson is back as Valkyrie who is King (not Queen) of Asgard. (Nice twist.) And a couple of side glances from Valkyrie at Mighty Thor shows Valkyrie could go for that. 

Taika Waititi is back at the rock creature Korg who is as sweet as ever. He gets blasted to bits by Gorr at one point but his face survives which eventually grows back into a full grown Korg. At the end of the movie, Korg gets rock creature husband named Dwayne and they make a rock creature baby. 

When we last saw Thor at the end of Avengers: Endgame, he was heading back off into space with the Guardians of the Galaxy and the goofy galactic gang makes an appearance here.  They get sent off on a search and rescue mission before the end of the first act. 

Russell Crowe's turn as Zeus doesn't work for me. With his faux Italian "Mario and Luigi" accent, the character is too much of a caricature from the outset. We know from jump that Thor's adoration of Zeus is going to be seriously disappointed. 

And Christian Bale as Gorr is hard row to hoe. Look, we're down with his mad on at gods like Rapu and hell, Zeus is a really good example of a really bad god but his mission to kill all gods? Even Thor? 

And get this! He kidnaps kids (bad!) and terrorizes them (more bad!) to lure Thor into a trap which only works if Thor is a good god and not a bad god who ignores the needs of others.  So Gorr is all over the map and kind of hard to get behind as the story's big bad. 

On a positive note, Chris Hemsworth is a dude-tastic as ever as Thor Odinson. Yeah, he has a bit of an ego (he is, after all, the god of thunder) but he's still a bit insecure (especially on the subject of relationships and particularly his relationship with Jane). But ultimately, he just wants to do the right thing as much as he can.  

The "It's That Person Who Was In That Thing" Department

As in Thor: Ragnorok, we get a troupe of Asgardian actors performing a play based on the previous Thor movie.  Matt Damon, Sam Neill, and Luke Hemsworth are back playing "Loki", "Odin", and "Thor" with Melissa McCarthy joining them as "Hela". 

 Over all, Thor: Love and Thunder is an enjoyable enough diversion but perhaps not quite as strong as Taika Waititi's previous turn behind the camera with Thor: Ragnorok.

What mostly makes  Thor: Love and Thunder work as well as it does rests on the consistent charms of  Chris Hemsworth as Thor and on Natalie Portman's strong story arc as Dr. Jane Foster, AKA the Mighty Thor.  

Portman especially elevates Thor: Love and Thunder  beyond just another damn Marvel movie. 

Songs For Saturday: Dum Dum Girls

Today's Songs For Saturday spotlights one of my favorite girl bands, the Dum Dum Girls.   I just discovered their music a little more than a year ago.

Dum Dum Girls started  in 2008 as a bedroom recording project of singer and songwriter Dee Dee, AKA Kristin Gundred.

Leading off today's play list is "Rimbaud Eyes".  

With "Rimbaud Eyes",  Dee Dee references the decadent French poet Arthur Rimbaud (1854-91) known for his transgressive and surreal themes and for his influence on modern literature and arts, prefiguring surrealism. 

And no, I have no idea what any of that means.   

Coming up next is "Too True To Be Good". 

The name Dum Dum Girls is an homage to the Vaselines' album Dum Dum as well as the Iggy Pop song "Dum Dum Boys".

Wrapping up today's playlist is the first Dum Dum Girl's song I ever heard, "Bedroom Eyes". 

Dee Dee brought the Dum Dum Girls to an end in January 2016 in favor of other projects.   

And that is that for today's Songs For Saturday.

Coming up next week, it's the last Songs For Saturday.

Alas, as they say, all good things...

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and to always keep the music alive.   

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: Bad Ideas Averted: "Maybe We Call Him Aquaman Instead?"

For today's Flashback Friday, we journey back to Monday, July 15, 2013 for a post called....

Bad Ideas Averted: 

"Maybe We Call Him Aquaman Instead?"

The following events are...almost true.

Yes, back in 1941 a couple of comic book guys created a legend for the ages. As for who came up with what, who do I look like, Roy Thomas? But I do have a little skit to serve up as part of a (possibly recurring) new feature I like to call Bad Ideas Averted. 

_____________________________________

"Hey, Paul?"

"Yeah, Mort?"

"Look, we're coming up short for a feature to round out the next issue of More Fun Comics. I've got an idea for something but I need you to draw it for me."

"I'll see what I can do, Mort. So whatcha got?"

" Well, it's about a guy who can swim underwater."

"I can swim underwater, Mort."

"I mean, he can swim underwater a long time. He breathes underwater."

"OK, what else you got?"

"Well, because he spends so much time underwater, he's pretty strong and he's a super fast swimmer. He probably go faster than a U-boat."

"And anything else?"

"Yeah, Paul. He can talk to fish."

"He can talk to fish?"

"Yeah, he can talk to fish!"

"I'm not sure that's going to be very helpful, Mort."

"Yeah, it can. Hey, think about this. The bad guys' got an aquarium and the gold fish hears all their crooked plans."

"Mort, fish don't have ears, do they?"

"The fish reads lips then, OK? Work with me here, Paul."

"I'm working, I'm working."

"So our swimmer guy shows up and the bad guys are gone but the fish tells him everything."

"Yeah, I guess. What if the bad guys have a hamster?"

"A hamster?"

"Yeah, a hamster."

"Why would they have a hamster?"

"Why would they have a fish?"

"Paul!"

"Well, I'm just asking."

"Never mind! Look, we've got a few days to put 6 pages together for the next issue of More Fun. We'll hash out the details later."

"Hey, Bill over at Timely's got an underwater character..."

"No, no, no! Not listening, Paul!"

"Look, I'm just saying...."

"First of all, Bill's character is a freak, OK? A pointy eared mostly naked freak with a lousy attitude."

"And...?"

"And what?"

"Well, Mort, you said 'first of all'. I assumed there was a 'secondly' coming along next."

"Yeah, well, and secondly, Bill's freak can't talk to fish."

"I'm not sure the talking to fish is really a big selling point..."

"He can't talk to fish, Paul! And our guy can, OK?"

"OK!"

"OK!"

"So, Mort, this guy, who swims and breathes underwater..."

"...and talks to fish!"

"And talks to fish, right. So you gotta name for this guy?"

"Yeah! We're gonna call him.....Sea Man!"

"Sea Man?"

"Sea Man!"

"Sea Man."

"Yeah! Hey, I figure you could draw up some kind of stylized 'S' or something, like Superman."

"For...Sea Man."

"And there some good stuff you can draw! Such as when Sea Man comes spurting out of the ocean in a spray of white foam."

"This is Sea Man, bursting out you say?"

"Yeah, Sea Man. Look, Paul, you don't seem to be on board with this name. Is there a problem?"

"With Sea Man? Nooo."

"OK, then."

"But..."

"But what?"

"How about, I don't know, how about....Aquaman!"

"Aquaman?"

"Yeah, Aquaman."

"I don't know, Paul."

"Yeah, Mort! He'll be at the front of the alphabet. You know, Superman's got that 'S' thing all covered pretty good. I think I can do something pretty snazzy with the letter A."

"Well, it sounds...OK."

"Sure it does, Mort."

"So, not Sea Man?"

"I think we should say no to Sea Man."

"OK, Aquaman it is! And Paul?"

"Yeah, Mort?"

"He still talks to fish."

"Yeah, Mort. He still talks to fish."

----the end----  (or as they say in French, "Fin") 

 

 

 

 

 

Zero Fucks To Give

I was going to write a blog post of such exquisite beauty and wondrous insight as to make you weep as if looking upon the face of God.

Then I decided against that.

I'm super tired and quite frankly, I have....

...well, you know, zero fucks left to give.

Sorry.

Let's try again another day.   

Maybe I can get some fucks from the fuck store.

Or maybe not.

Ted Cruz Is A Lying Fuck Bastard: Bury Your Gay Marriages

Well, this weekend, Ted Cruz was blubbering away on his podcast when he weighed in on the 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges that legalized same-sex marriage across the country. 

Cruz described the decision as “clearly wrong”.  

I think it is important here to remind everyone of the official position of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You when it comes to Ted Cruz:

TED CRUZ IS A LYING FUCK BASTARD!!!!

Can I get an "amen", my children?

AMEN!!!!

Bless you, my children. 

Here is more of what the bastard that doeth lie in thoust fuck:

“Obergefell, like Roe v. Wade, ignored two centuries of our nation’s history. Marriage was always an issue that was left to the states.  In Obergefell, the court said no, we know better than you guys do, and now every state must sanction and permit gay marriage. I think that decision was clearly wrong when it was decided. It was the court overreaching.”

After the Supreme Court's ruling on abortion rights in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization overturning Roe V. Wade, it was pretty much a given that the Republicans would be itching to overturn previous decisions they didn't like.  

Cruz's whiny diatribe centers around Obergefell ignoring two centuries of our nation’s history.  The way things were is the way things should always be. 

There was a time within two centuries of our nation’s history where women did not have the right to vote. Would Ted Cruz have us reverse this gain because that's just not how we did it before? 

There was a time within two centuries of our nation’s history where African Americans were held in chains as slaves. Cruz talks of leaving things up to the states but there were states that wanted to keep their slaves.  

There was a time within two centuries of our nation’s history where African Americans once freed from slavery were treated as second class citizens. Their access to jobs, housing, education, medical care and the unimpeded right to vote should not matter according to what state they happen to live in. 

And this applies to women and to LGBTQ+ community as well. Why should any American's pursuit of life, liberty and happiness be dependent on their geographic location in the United States?

Does the American ideal that "all men are created equal" only applies in certain states? 

The whole idea of leaving things to the states is the first and worst resort of the scoundrel seeking to limit or deny rights to Americans who are not like them.  

Let's close out this post by reciting once more the most sacred credo of  I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, be sure to include the Ted Cruz salute, holding out your fist and extending the middle finger. 

And repeated after me!

TED CRUZ IS A LYING FUCK BASTARD!!!!

Halle-fucking-lujah, my children!  

HALLE=FUCKING-LUJAH!!!!

Bless you, my children. 

Tuesday TV Touchbase: The Boys

Emmy nominations came out last week and I was a bit bothered by few or no nominations for shows I watch.

Gentleman Jack (whose cancellation is a crime against humanity and there should be protests at the United Nations) and Our Flag Means Death got zilch by way of nominations. The Flight Attendant did score a nod for Kaley Cuoco for Best Lead Actress in a Comedy so there's at least that.  I thought for at least nothing else Iain Armitage of Young Sheldon deserved a nod for his multi-role performance in the season finale.  

Some shows I do watch such as with Hacks, Only Murders in the Building and What We Do In the Shadows  (which we will be discussing in next week's Touchbase) got nods but even there, there were issues.  Steve Martin and Martin Short deservedly got acting nominations for their roles in Only Murders in the Building but Selena Gomez was most undeservedly overlooked.  

Meanwhile science fiction gets ignored as usual by Emmy voters so nothing for any of the Star Treks or The Boys. 

Speaking of The Boys, let's get on with this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase.  

The Boys may have started life as some kind of dark fun house mirror distortion of the world of comic book super heroes. For example, what happens when a super powered fist makes contact with a human head?

In the comics, a knocked out human.

In The Boys, well, people 'SPLODE!  

But The Boys has evolved into some wickedly incisive socio-political satire.  Homelander and the other "super heroes" operating under the Vought corporation umbrella have descended deeper into more disturbing levels of narcissism and the pursuit of power for it's own sake. 

Homelander does not give one single fuck for actually doing anything for anybody. He wants people to love him. Or fear him. It really doesn't matter. Homelander wants all eyes on him, preferably out of love but fear will do in a pinch. 

Eric Kripke, who developed The Boys for television, makes the subtext explicit when he recently said, "It's clear that Homelander is Donald Trump."

You know how Donald Trump once said he could shoot a man on 5th Avenue in New York City and his poll numbers would go up? Homelander puts that theory to the test in the season finale.

At an event showing off his son Ryan, a protester throws a bottle at Homelander. Homelander responds by lasering his head off. 

Homelander straight up murders someone.

His supporters respond with applause and cheers.  

The season long efforts by Billy Butcher and the Boys to finally take down Homelander and the Vought Corporation don't quite work. 

Yeah, Annie January, the former Starlight, has put out all sorts of incriminating facts and evidence to her social media followers that Homelander and Vought are not to be trusted. 

Homelander goes on Vought controlled TV and accuses Annie of being a pedophile.  

So the people who like Starlight believe her. 

The people who support Homelander believe him.

No one's mind is changed and the whole country remains divided.

If this reminds you of anything, turn on cable news or look out a window. 

Damn it, Kripke! I don't need your little TV show about corrupt super beings reminding me the world sucks. 

While Homelander remains a power to be feared and reckoned with, there are changes in the status quo in season 3. 

After trying to effect change from within Vought, Annie has thrown away her Starlight costume and is fully part of the Boys now. 

Stan Edgar was deposed as CEO of Vought so what little control Vought had over Homelander is gone now. 

Billy Butcher crosses the line in his fight against supes by becoming one himself with the Temp V drug that gives him super strength, invulnerability and laser vision. And a death sentence. Seems you can only use Temp V a few times before it kills you. Billy ends the season with only about 12 months or so to live.

Hughie also takes Temp V which gives him teleporting powers. But not his clothes. When he teleports himself or anyone else with him, they pop somewhere else naked.  

We find out that the silent Black Noir sees and hears cartoon animals who talk to him and reassure him. Black Noir gets disemboweled (people 'SPLODE!) when Homelander kills him for not telling him Soldier Boy was his father.

Oh about Soldier Boy....

Jensen Ackles comes on board as Soldier Boy, a Captain America expy who is a total fuck turd to anyone around him. He is one of Vought's first super powered creations from circa World War II.  

As he will often remind you, Soldier Boy stormed the beaches at Normandy. 

As he will NOT tell you, Soldier Boy stormed the beaches at Normandy under the watchful eyes of a film crew two weeks after the actual D-Day invasion. 

To Soldier Boy, all women are either whores or they just need to smile more. 

Soldier Boy is completely clueless as to why a man would help take care of children.  

In the 1980's, Soldier Boy is killed in a valiant effort to stop a nuclear terrorist. 

OK, what REALLY happened: In the 1980's, Soldier Boy is  captured by Russians after the other members of his super hero team had enough of his shit and sold him out.  

The Boys bust him out of his prison in Russia in an effort to find a weapon that can actually kill Homelander. What they get for their trouble is a psychotic freak who can now generate his own nuclear explosions out of his chest which can level entire city blocks. 

The season ends with the country completely polarized against itself on the subject of super heroes and Homelander even more unhinged from any restraints on his power.

And the sly smile on Ryan's face tells us that Homelander's son is learning the wrong lessons about what having this kind of power means. 

Or too summarize The Boys more concisely: people 'SPLODE!

In a few weeks, we will take a look a different sort of comic book super hero show as we delve into season 3 of The Umbrella Academy. 

But next week, it'a time for a turn towards comedies with Hacks, Only Murders in the Building and What We Do In the Shadows.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.