One of the reasons it's hard to cut the cord on cable is that sometimes, I don't want to work hard at making a choice, I just want something put in front of me and I'll take a chance that I will be entertained.Such is the case with the focus of today's Cinema Saturday post.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005) is not exactly a movie I would have sought out but one Sunday afternoon, I was on the sofa here at the Fortress of Ineptitude enduring a combination of boredom AND depression when this movie came on and quite frankly, I lacked the will to pick up the remote and seek out something else.
OK, hardly a ringing endorsement but....
Here we go!
The movie begins with John Smith (Brad Pitt) and Jane Smith (Angelina Jolie) talking to an off screen marriage counselor. They've been married about 5 or 6 years and life has fallen into a bit of a rut.
The Smiths live in a large house in the New York suburbs, reluctantly socializing with their wealthy neighbors as their marriage slides into mundanity.
It is a marriage caught in a complex web of lies.
John believes his wife is a computer tech consultant but she's not. Jane Smith is a skilled field operative who works as an assassin for a back ops firm.
Jane believes her husband is a construction executive but he's not. John Smith is a skilled field operative who works as an assassin for another back ops firm.
John and Jane get tasked to take out the same target, an operation that goes pear shape when the actions of one interferes with the other.
John is assigned to take out the other operative who is... Jane Smith? Wait! She's not a computer tech consultant?
And guess what?
Yep!
Jane is assigned to take out the other operative who is... John Smith? Wait! He's not a construction executive?
The couple arrive at their lovely spacious home in the New York suburbs for dinner.
HE knows SHE is a spy but HE doesn't know SHE know he is one too!
And reverse it!
SHE knows HE is a spy but SHE doesn't know HE know she is one too!
Dinner is awkward.
The conversation over dinner is awkward.
The whole damn thing is awkward and something has to give!
OPEN FIRE!!!
John and Jane engage in a long protracted gun fight all over this spacious suburban home which is being decimated by all the gun fire. There's leaping and crouching and jumping and punching and kicking.
Finally Jane gets a gun right to John's head.
And John gets a gun right to Jane's head.
Neither one of them can miss at this range.
Then they remember they really did love each other once. The guns come down, the clothes come off and they sex the hell out of each other until the dawn.
There is now a combined bounty on the heads of both John and Jane Smith. What's left of the spacious suburban home gets blowed up real good. Then they discover that the couple was the target all along, the discovery of their marriage by the black ops groups made them a liability to be eliminated.
Cornered in a home goods store, John and Jane fend off an army of heavily armed operatives.
- John and Jane Smith: 2
- heavily armed operatives: 0
The movie ends with John and Jane Smith talking to an off screen marriage counselor. They're smiling and saying that their marriage is stronger than ever.
OK, there is lots of funny banter and stuff blows up real good which is all I expect from an action film.
Clearly the conspiracy against the Smiths is just a McGuffin designed merely to get 1) John and Jane shooting at each other and 2) John and Jane shooting at other people.
The MaGuffin is so unimportant that the film doesn't even bother to resolve it. Killing all the assassins in the home goods store... solved everything?
Maybe John and Jane are still being shot at by other people at other stores? There's a Build A Bear filled with bullet holes and shredded stuffing?
But things are well enough for the now happy couple to take time to tell their marriage counselor that they are now a, well you know, happy couple.
Side note: Brad Pitt was married to Jennifer Anniston when he made this movie. During the making of the movie, he began a relationship with Angelina Jolie.
I suppose your mileage may vary depending on how you fill about Jennifer Anniston. I mean, I like Brad Pitt but man, Jen did not deserve to get her heart broke like that.
Speaking of Brad Pitt, Cinema Saturday will be back next week and so will Mr. Pitt as he helps George Clooney rob THREE casinos.
And tomorrow Cinema Sunday spotlights another movie called Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
No comments:
Post a Comment