I do not go gently into those good tidings.
Every year when Christmas comes 'round, I have the following reactions to having to put up the Christmas decorations:
- complain
- grumble
- mutter
- bitch
- growl
- kvetch
- gripe
- squawk
- holler
- repine
- wail
- grouse
- bellyache
- protest
- fuss
- carp
- grouch
- grump
- crab
- object
- quarrel
- quibble
- lament
- fret
- bemoan
- bewail
- deplore
- stew
I will NEVER be convinced any of this is what Jesus Christ wants for his hypothetical birthday but my wife and son want those decorations so (Jesus Christ!) the decorations go up.
Then it's time to take down those same decorations and my reactions are...
Just see the list above.
Typically here at the Fortress of Ineptitude, we leave those decorations up through New Year's Day and somewhere in the week or so that follows, we take them down.
Andrea and I decided that last weekend would be un-decorating day.
Our tree had other plans.
Last Wednesday morning, the Christmas tree slowly but determinedly fell over sideways and (Jesus Christ!) fell down in the middle of the living room floor.
The Christmas tree wasn't waiting for us.
The tree had enough.
Some background on our tree.
It is an artificial tree in the style of an evergreen pine. Andrea and I bought this tree in 1994 from Wal-Mart after we got married.
I don't believe this tree was meant to be used for nearly 30 years but use it for nearly 30 years we have.
This is actually not the first time the tree has fallen over.
About 20 years ago I think, the base on the tree broke about a week before Christmas. I went searching for a replacement base and was lucky to find one.
It being a week before Christmas, the stores were all set for my Valentine's Day shopping.
The new base base is not so new after 20 years and appears to have given out causing the tree to tilt and fall over.
We should've expected this. It seemed like for sometime the tree had a bit of a tilt to one side.
But then you would tilt your head in the other direction and the tree was perfectly fine. It's just a matter of perspective after all.
Our perspective on Wednesday morning was undeniable. Look, the tree has fallen over.
"No more!" said the Christmas tree.
Amazingly enough, none of the ornaments broke when the tree fell.
Andrea and I propped the tree back up and proceeded to dismantle it after work that evening.
Seriously, we were going to do that on Saturday.
The tree had other plans.
Also the outside decorations are down as well.
And all is well until the next 11 months go by at it's time for me to...
- complain
- grumble
- mutter
- bitch
- growl
- kvetch
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