Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Countdown To Christmas 2024: Just A Day Away!


Well all the kvetching and complaining has brought me to here which is where I was going to end up anyway: 1 day away from Christmas. 

By now....

1) If I needed it, I bought it.

2) If I didn't buy it, I didn't need it.

3) If I did need it and did not buy, well, just fuck off.

Christmas is inevitable.

Let me see if I can get in a better mood about it.

This is a super cut of Darlene Love's holiday visits to the Late Show With David Letterman where she would just wow everyone with her annual epic performances of  "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)".



One of my favorite choral performances of the Yuletide season is this one of "Lo, How a Rose e'er Blooming"  with -John Rutter directing the Cambridge Singers.  


OK, I might be feeling an itsy bitsy more positive about Christmas. Let's wrap up this post with the perennial classic from Mariah Carey.


Tomorrow is Christmas.

Am I ready?

Fuck it! Just bring it on already...

Tuesday TV Touchbase: Christmas Specials




Hi there and welcome to the Tuesday TV Touchbase where I post about stuff I've seen on television.

Since tomorrow is Christmas, the topic of today's post are holiday theme TV shows I've seen this month.  

Let's kick off the post with A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter.   



Sabrina opens the special with a word of thanks to her viewers who could be doing something else such as spending time with family or volunteering with the less fortunate. “Instead, you’re here, half-watching a big screen while scrolling social media on a smaller screen,” Sabrina says with a smile.  

Interspersed with an assortment of holiday themed musical numbers by Sabrina and guests are comedy sketches.   Abbott Elementary’s Quinta Brunson and Cara Delevingne appear with Sabrina in a Christmas Carol sketch about women who have been ghosted by “Ebby” Scrooge.  And my favorite sketch features SNL’s Kyle Mooney as a super generic relative, leading to a song called What Do I Get My Brother-in-Law.

Chappell Roan turns up dressed as a gift to sing Last Christmas, by the light of TV karaoke, in the aftermath of a raucous house party. (In the post credit outtakes and bloopers, Chappell comments that here outfit makes her feel "straight".)  

Andrea and I also caught the Nate Bargatze Nashville Christmas special. There's some strong musical performances and comedy bits including a sketch that riffs on Nate's  Saturday Night Live skits where he plays George Washington trying to explain oddities of America's future.  Here Bargatze is Gabriel the angel explaining modern-day Christmas traditions to Joseph and Mary, played by "SNL" cast members Ashley Padilla and Mikey Day.

Joseph:  "I do not understand, angel: a pine tree IN the house?"

Gabriel: "Yes, it will be so?"

Mary: "But why?"

Gabriel: "Nobody knows."

Andrea and I caught Christmas theme episodes of Ghosts (Jay got to see and interact with the ghosts for an episode. It was funny and very cool.), Happy's Place, St. Denis Medical and Night Court.  

And the holiday themed edition of Celebrity Wheel of Fortune (with Pat Sajak back as host).  

Regular Wheel of Fortune (with Ryan Seacrest as host) spent 2 weeks with a Disney sponsored Secret Santa series.  

We also watched an old special from the 1980's,  Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special.  It was a very surreal experience.   

We also watched an episode of The Play Goes Wrong called The Spirit of Christmas about a poor sad kid who only wants for Christmas is for her parents to stop fighting and blah blah blah, who cares? Anything and everything that can goes wrong goes wrong. 

 ______________________________________

That is that for this week's Tuesday TV Touchbase. 

Next week's post, I look back at some of the TV I watched in 2024. 

The week after that as we begin a new year, the Touchbase will touch base on...

  • What We Do In the Shadows
  • Star Trek Lower Decks
  • Creature Commandos

and more! 

Until next time, remember to be good to one another and try to keep it down in there, would ya? I'm trying to watch TV over here.    
_______________________

Later today, one last Countdown to Christmas 2024 Post.   


Monday, December 23, 2024

Countdown to Christmas 2024: Sexy Times!

 


Welcome to another edition of Countdown to Christmas 2024 which is fueled by rage, frustration, anxiety, depression and just a good old plain fuck it all! 

So today we will attempt to alleviate all that with...

SEX! 

That dancin' violinist Lindsey Stirling  prances and cavorts about as she and sultry singer Sabrina Carpenter turn "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" into a sexy (SEXY!) time.  


I think I might be too old for sexy times.

Here's more Sabrina Carpenter from her Netflix holiday special. 

Objectively speaking, I think this counts as sexy. 


Does this "Jingle Bell Rock" scene from Mean Girls count as sexy? 


I'm too old to tell! 

I'm too old for sexy times! 

<breaks down crying>

I'm outta here.

More Countdown to Christmas tomorrow.

Hey! That present may not be wrapped pretty but it's @#$%^! wrapped, OK?


President Elon Musk


In Doctor Who, you know someone is possessed by the deadly Vashta Narata if that person gets a second shadow. 

Donald Trump has a 2nd shadow but it's not the Vashta Narata. 

It's worse.

It's Elon Musk.  

Well, who can blame the guy for hanging around? Elon spent a quarter of a billion dollars to get Li'l Donnie re-elected and damn it, he wants to be sure he gets a return on that investment.  

Which has seen Elon Musk getting out ahead of Donald Trump on a variety of policy issues.

For example, the US government was facing one of those ubiquitous moments where the government was going to run out of money unless Congress passes a budget.  Just ahead of the Friday December 20th deadline, Congress had hammered out a bipartisan deal that would keep the government running.

Then Elon Musk tweeted that the bill was a bad idea and Republicans should not take that deal.   

After that, Donald Trump awoke from his KFC/McDonald's induced stupor to make a demand that Republicans should do a a different deal or just let the government shut down. 

Donald Trump is NOT President yet and Elon Musk is just a persistent stooge who will not get the fuck out of Mar O Lago. 

But Republicans are so immediately hardwired to do whatever their beloved der Führer says, they began running around like heads with their chickens cut off, confused as to what to do.

Even if there is some confusion on which man is der Führer: Donald Trump and Elon Musk.   

Both men were cajoling and threatening members of Congress to torpedo the bipartisan budget deal. An allegedly more Trump/Musk friendly budget was cobbled together but it couldn't get full Republican support and the Democrats were sure as hell not going to vote for it. 

Congress did finally pass a budget bill mere hours before the government faced a shut down.

A resounding defeat for Donald Trump. Or Elon Musk?  

I'm sorry, which one of these guys is going to be President again?



Oh shit! We've got 4 more years of this!

____________________________________

We've got another Countdown To Christmas 2024 post coming later today.   


Sunday, December 22, 2024

Countdown to Christmas 2024: Snow Miser and Heat Miser Are At WAR!


Welcome to another edition of Countdown to Christmas 2024.

I will remind you again this countdown is not some breathless jubilant anticipation of the yuletide holiday.

"Boy! Oh boy! Christmas is almost here!!!"

No, not that.

This countdown is a function of my dread. 

"No! Oh no! Christmas is almost here?!?"  

So much to do and so little time. 

Also this interferes with my naps. 

Anyway...

The weather leading up to Christmas has been a bit of a yo-yo. 

One day I'm in a long sleeve sweater over a long sleeve shirt and I'm still cold.  

A couple days later, I was stripped down to a short sleeve shirt thinking I might need to turn the A/C on. 

A few days later, back to the sweater.  

Snow Miser and Heat Miser are at WAR! 



It is the height of folly to expect cold weather in Christmas when the majority of the planet is not in a cold weather pattern at the time.

Yet so much imagery and music is set around cold and snow at Christmas.



That was "In the Bleak Midwinter" by the cast of the UK version of Ghosts.   

What about the folks in Australia?

Check this out!


No "Winter Wonderland" for the folks in Hawaii.



Look, I'm in freaking North Carolina! It might snow up in the mountains at Christmas but I don't expect here in the frickin' middle of the state.

But I'm not in Hawaii or Australia and would settle if things were just at least on the cool side.  

Of course now watch! I've written this post and now we'll get a damn blizzard or something.

This is the kind of stress I'm under as we continue the Countdown to Christmas! 

And where the @#$%! did I put the Scotch tape?!?!


It's Another Damn Dave-El's Weekend Movie Post: Dear Santa

 

Saturday the family gathered in the Fortress of Ineptitude to catch up on a recently released Christmas theme movie.

That movie is Dear Santa.







This is the story of Liam Turner, a dyslexic and meek sixth-grader whose is under a lot of stress regarding his family.  His mom and dad are ALWAYS fighting and Liam is desperate for it stop.  Desperate enough to write a letter to Santa even though Liam is a bit old for that sort of thing. 

He's also a bit of a bad speller and addresses the letter not "Dear Santa" but as "Dear Satan". The letter winds up in hell and the Devil takes an interest in young Liam Turner.  

And the hilarity just... trickles out. 

This movie....   dude.

I had such high hopes for this movie. Bobby Farrelly directing, Jack Black as the Devil.  

RogerEberrt.com posted this: "Most people probably have no idea that Bobby Farrelly's Dear Santa has been buried on Paramount+, released on a Monday with almost no promotion at all. Why? The marketing team probably had no idea how to sell a movie that seems resolutely made for no one."

There may have been some kernel of a good idea in the concept of the film but for the movie itself, Dear Santa does not deliver on whatever that idea might have been.  The movie feels kind of flat and even boring sometimes which is weird when you have Jack Black as the friggin' devil.  

When it comes to picking Dear Santa for our holiday time viewing, well, it might not be our worst decision but there are way better choices.  


Dave-El's Weekend Movie Post: Holiday and Sylvia Scarlett


Today's edition of Dave-El's Weekend Movie Post takes a look at not one but two films co-starring Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant. I had high expectations for today's movies given how much I enjoyed the pairing of Hepburn and Grant in two of my all time favorite movies, Bringing Up Baby and The Philadelphia Story



I hate to say it but I am not quite as enamored with the two films I'll be writing about today.  

From 1938, we start with Holiday.  



Cary Grant is Jonathan "Johnny" Case, a self-made man who has worked all his life and in whirlwind romance while on holiday in Lake Placid, NY, he gets engaged to Julia Seton.

Johnny and Julia go back home to share the news of their engagement with her family and it is only then that Johnny learns that Julia is part of an extremely wealthy family headed by her father, banker Edward Seton.

Edward is at first not happy about this would be interloper into the elite and respected Seton family but an investigation into Johnny's work history reveals a man of most industrious work ethic who has done very well by himself so no only does he bless the engagement of Johnny and Julia but offers his would be son in law a lucrative job in Edward's bank. 

Johnny would just as soon as pass. 

Johnny has worked all his life and would like to take a year or so the enjoy life. 

Edward is perplexed by this plan. "What if you need more money?"

"Then I'll go back to work," is Johnny's reply. 

The rock ribbed conservative Seton family is confused to the concept of making "enough" money and then actually not make any more for awhile.  

Except for Julia's older sister, Linda (Katherine Hepburn).   

Linda is warm and vivacious, a free spirit compared to the rest of the stuffy Seton family.  

To be honest, Linda is a WAY better fit for Johnny than Julia but there's the whole matter of Johnny being engaged to Julia and that is spinning out of control with Edward planning a massive high society event on New Year's Eve to announce the engagement. 

The rest of the film is a series of back and forths as Johnny is under a lot of pressure from the Setons to do what society says Johnny should do (the next step after making money is to make MORE money) while Linda empathizes with Johnny and it is clear that it is Johnny and Linda are the couple that is truly in love.

What will they do?

What... will... they... do? 

Holiday holds a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, based on 23 professional reviews.

At the time of it's release, The Hollywood Reporter compared Holiday to such films as It Happened One Night and The Awful Truth.

A reviewer in London said Holiday was one of director George Cukor's best films.  

As for Dave-El's opinion?

I don't get it. 

Objectively speaking, I concede the working parts of Holiday hold a lot of potential for a great film but it never really congeals as a whole for me. The movie does spark whenever Grant and Hepburn are sharing a scene but does are not as frequent as I would've liked.  



Whatever my misgivings about Holiday, it is damn sight better than the other movie we're posting about today.  

From 1935, it's Sylvia Scarlett.  



In France, Henry Scarlett (Edmund Gwenn) and his daughter, Sylvia (Katharine Hepburn) are mourning the death of Sylvia's mother. 

Henry needs to get out of France to escape gambling debts and he has a plan to smuggle stuff into England to avoid import fees. Henry is a most unscrupulous man but Sylvia still loves the old bastard and intends to accompany him. She cuts her hair and disguises herself as a boy named Sylvester.  

On the boat to London, they meet a "gentleman adventurer", Jimmy "Monk" Monkley (Cary Grant) who in turn exposes Henry to customs officials, who take him in for interrogation. 

Later on a train Henry and Sylvia/Sylvester encounter Monk, who he confesses is a smuggler, too, and he told the customs police about Henry to avoid being searched himself. 

Well, that is the basis of a partnership so the trio set out to run con games and do crime. 

The trio becomes a quartet when a maid from a high society household decides this itinerant life of low level crime is the life for her and joins the gang.

The gang of 4 now poses as a traveling troupe of entertainers. 

Stuff..  happens.  

Sylvia while disguised as Sylvester (reasons for the continued deception are unclear at this point) falls in love with a guy named Michael.  Sylvia confesses she is really a girl too late and too sad, Mike already has a girl named Lily and it's a convoluted mess and... 

Then Henry dies, y'all.  ("Yay! I'm out of the movie!")  

Sylvia and Mike head out to Paris on a train where they encounter Monk and Lily (so they're a thing now?) so Sylvia and Mike decide they too are a thing now and we've reached...

Oh thank God!

The end.

What the unholy hell was that?  

Here's what others wrote at the time.

The New York Times: "The film has a sprawling, confused and unaccented way of telling its story."

Variety"Despite good production values and some strong performances, Sylvia Scarlett is not a reliable candidate for public favor. The story is hard to get. It is puzzling in its tangents and sudden jumps plus the almost poetic lines that are given to Miss Hepburn. At moments the film skirts the border of absurdity and considerable of its mid-section is downright boresome." 

I'll keep it simpler: Sylvia Scarlett is a mess.  

I think part of the problem stems from the movie being adapted from a sprawling novel without any judicious editing of that sprawl to make it work as a movie.  Hence the movie's nearly absurd jumps in story logic, narrative and character development. 

Or to put it another way...

Sylvia Scarlett is a mess.

___________________________________

Next week's Dave-El's Weekend Movie Post takes us to New Year's Eve and a classic from 1989 as we take a look at The Fabulous Baker Boys.

And next Sunday is the return of Doctor Who Is NEW! as we look at this year's Doctor Who Christmas special, "Joy To the World". 

And there is another Countdown to Christmas 2024 Post later today.       


 

Saturday, December 21, 2024

Countdown to Christmas 2024: Peanuts for Christmas




Welcome to the first of the Countdown to Christmas 2024 posts. 

Let me be honest: I am NOT that excited for Christmas to be engaged in a countdown to Christmas Day. 

Mostly it's to remind me to make sure I have my shit together as the day approaches. There are presents to buy and to wrap and a Christmas Day dinner to plan.

(I think Golden Corral might be open for Christmas Day which would help with my menu planning but others within the family have voiced objections to Golden Corral.)  

For today's post, we have a clip of the famous dance sequence from the Peanuts Christmas Special.   



And here is a live action take on that dance scene from from the staff at Mayfield Middle School!


Want to learn how to dance with such joyous abandon? You can at the Charlie Brown School of Dance! 



The Countdown to Christmas will continue tomorrow!

And does anyone know what I did with those @#$%! boxes from Amazon?!?!

________________________________________

________________________________________

Martin Short hosts tonight's Saturday Night Live while getting ready for Christmas?  This clip shows how he's handling that.



Dave-El's Weekend Movie Post: Red One

 

Today's edition of Dave-El's Weekend Movie Post brings us another holiday themed movie, this one brand new.  Starring J. K. Simmons  as Santa Claus,  Dwayne Johnson as Cal, Santa's head of security and Chris Evans as Jack O'Malley, a nefarious hacker and bounty hunter, we bring you Red One.


What if you took the mythology of Santa Claus and turned it into a Marvel movie? 

Well, that gives you an insight into this movie. 

But don't let that be a turn off if you're burned out on Marvel.  

It's a feel good family film for the holiday season.  If your family is OK with people saying words like "bullshit" in your feel good family film for the holiday season. 



Dwayne Johnson is Callum Drift, commander of ELF (Enforcement Logistics and Fortification), head of Santa Claus's security detail who is ready to retire after 3 centuries on the job but he's got a big crisis to fix first: a black ops team has breached the North Pole's defenses and kidnapped Santa on Christmas Eve. 

M.O.R.A . is pissed. 

What the hell is M.O.R.A?  It's the Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority, a clandestine, multilateral military organization that oversees and protects a secret peace treaty between mythological creatures and humanity. 

(It's this movie's version of S.H.I.E.L.D.  Again, think Santa meets Marvel.)  

Santa being kidnapped on Christmas Eve causes all sorts of problems M.O.R.A. director Zoe Harlow (Lucy Lui who after all these years is still all sorts of kick ass awesome) ominously warns us about. She tracks the security breach to Jack O'Malley, a ne're do well hacker and tracker who is forced to join forces with Cal to locate the mysterious person who hired him in the first place.  

By the way, Jack is having trouble connecting with his estranged son which tosses in some Hallmark level human interest into this thing.    

Red One has something for everyone if want to hardwire a Hallmark Christmas movies into an installment of Fast and the Furious.  

The tonal shifts in this movie are a bit much and I can see why the reviews of this film were not favorable when it first came out. 

But turn off the analytical part of your brain and Red One is a lot of fun if for no other reason than the wild expansive world building that goes into who Santa Claus is, how he works and the larger connection of other mythologies and how they co-exist with the so called real world.  

Side note: when I was a child and started to poke holes into this whole Santa Claus thing, I asked my mom how does Santa get into houses without chimneys.  She said Santa shrinks down real small and comes into the house around the edges of the door.

In Red One, Santa shrinks! Hey, my mom was right!  

J. K. Simmons is a wonderfully different type of Santa. Yeah, he's warm and empathetic and he believes in children, the innocence of childhood and the magic of wonder but his Santa is no stereotypical jolly old elf. Simmons' Santa is jacked! Get a load of St. Nick's guns as he works out in the weight room. This is a man who takes what he does seriously even as he retains his love for what he does.  

Magic and science collide and not always without some damage in this strange movie that combines enchantment  with high octane action but Red One is a fantastic fun ride.  

____________________________

Another post goes live later today as the Countdown to Christmas gets under way.  


Winter Solstice 2024


Today is the winter solstice. 

Half way out of the dark as someone once said on Doctor Who.  

Above is a graphic someone sent out at work.

Anyway, for this shortest day/longest night, try not to let it get you down if you can. 

Remember to be good to one another.

And we're half way out of the dark. 

Friday, December 20, 2024

Your Friday Video Link: Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer (But NOT!)



Your Friday Video Link today is one I've posted before.  

It is the oft told tale of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

But told in the style of the musical Hamilton.  


Your Friday Video Link #2 is the tale of Rudolph the Redneck Reindeer.   


I am so sorry!  


We're back tomorrow with the first of a series of "Countdown to Christmas" posts.  

Thursday, December 19, 2024

Lockdown At the Fortress of Ineptitude or A Tale of Gastrointestinal Affliction

To say it was a rough week here at the Fortress of Ineptitude is a bit of an understatement.

Both Andrea and I took ill with some sort of gastrointestinal affliction.  

"Gastrointestinal affliction" is my polite way of saying we were vomiting like a damn fire hose. 



You know how the vampires on What We Do In the Shadows, if they so much as take even the smallest nibble of human food, they will expel a literal gusher of vomit afterwards in ridiculous proportion to the amount of food consumed. 

So imagine that and you get an idea of the degree of "gastrointestinal affliction" we were experiencing.   

In my case, seven times over as many hours.  

It was a terrible gamut that left me passed out on the floor at one point.  

Oh my God! Are we going to need to call 911 over this? 

Even after I awoke, I found it exceedingly difficult to get up off the floor.  

Eventually the vomiting part of the gastrointestinal affliction phased out as the damn "d" word took hold of the other end and that went on for days.  

After a blur of days of enduring gastrointestinal affliction, Andrea went on Instacart to order supplies because neither one of us was in any damn shape to drive to the store. 

Whoever was our InstaCart delivery person must've figured out this household was in the grip of a gastrointestinal affliction with deliveries of soup, crackers, Jell-O, Sprite, ginger ale, Gator Ade, etc etc.  

We crawled out of the depths of our distress to return to work on Monday but to be honest, we both could've used another day to truly feel better.  

As this posts, I think we have achieved some degree of normalcy or what passes for normal here at the Fortress of Ineptitude.  

Andrea is in a tizzy to get things clean in anticipation of a visit from our granddaughter Rosie and her emotional support human, our son Dean.  

Me, I'm still perfectly willing to cop to some residual after affects of our gastrointestinal affliction.  "I would love to help but I'm... still feeling.... dizzy and...  it's getting dark.... I gotta go lie down..."  

Remember to be good to one another and I hope you stay free from gastrointestinal affliction.  





Sunday, December 15, 2024

The Blog, It Is No Bidness

Yes, I am invoking the bananas again.  

The Fortress of Ineptitude is in lockdown as both Andrea and I have in turn been brought low by a persistent and pernicious stomach virus. 

I will provide more details if I survive.   

Yes, I said "if".   

More stuff is going out than coming in so yeah, if I survive.  

So no new blog stuff for now. 

Just remember to be good to one another.  

Saturday, December 14, 2024

Dave-El's Weekend Movie Post: Hundreds of Beavers


Today, Dave-El's Weekend Movie Post forages into... the unknown.

Into the wilderness.

Into a cold, brutal place.

Against a vast and dangerous enemy.


Today's post is about a 2022 movie that chronicles the efforts of one man to survive against the threat of....

HUNDREDS OF BEAVERS!!!!



WARNING! This movie is weird! 

  • It's in black and white.
  • There's no spoken dialogue. (Jean grunts, moans and screams in pain but otherwise does not speak.)  
  • While mostly live action, there is frequent use of animation to move things along.
  • And all the critters in this movie (including the beavers) are just people in critter costumes.

You have been warned.  

In the late 19th century in the frozen frontier of Wisconsin, Jean Kayak is doing pretty well for himself as a seller of applejack.  

HEY KIDS! Let's learn something! 

Applejack is a strong alcoholic drink produced from apples. Popular in the American colonial era, the drink's prevalence declined in the 19th and 20th centuries amid competition from other spirits. Applejack is used in several cocktails, including the Jack Rose.It is a type of fruit brandy.



Men from all around, hunters, trappers and farmers, love Jean Kayak's Applejack and he's making a good living while enjoying the product himself but...

Beavers.   

A beaver eats through the support strut holding up a giant keg of applejack which falls into a fire and explodes. The explosion destroys Jean's entire supply of Applejack, all of his apple trees and his home.  

Jean Kayak is alone in a cold unforgiving wilderness with only the clothes on his back.

Which he will lose.  

Jean tries to catch various critters for food using a variety of outlandish lures and traps but they do not work and mostly Jean winds up getting hurt and humiliated as the critters constantly thwart him.

(Think Coyote Vs. Road Runner) 

One bit has Jean creating big female snow bunnies complete with snow breasts to lure male rabbits. Two male rabbits walk by, turn to show they are holding hands and walk on. 

Female snow rabbits not their thing. 

Jean does make some human connections: a merchant and his comely daughter who knows how to skin and gut critters. (She makes him a new set of clothes from raccoons because by this point, the hapless Jean is completely naked.)



And Jean meets a trapper who is really good at his job and becomes a mentor to Jean. 

With the motivation of a woman he loves and the tutelage of the experienced trapper, Jean Kayak gets better at outwitting and outfighting beavers.  

But the beavers are not to be trifled with either. Inside their ever expanding dam, they've built a massive factory and a rocket ship and if none of (Wait! Rocket ship? Yep, rocket ship. Please try to keep up) and if none of that makes any sense to you, well, sorry but that's the kind of movie this is and you should just go with the flow as Jean faces off against many, many beavers.

One might say..... HUNDREDS OF BEAVERS!!!!


So Hundreds Of Beavers is a movie that exists.

And who the hell came up with this?!?!

Mike Cheslik and Ryland Tews, friends since their days at Whitefish Bay High School, came up with the idea while at a bar in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, in October 2018. Cheslik directed, wrote, edited, and created the visual effects for the film while Tews co-wrote the film and played the role of Jean Kayak.  

Funding was pieced together from a variety of sources and the film was shot with a budget of $150,000 over the winter in 2019 and 2020.

The beaver suits were purchased online from a Chinese mascot website, with the teeth being modified by the filmmakers

For a brief take on what the hell this movie is like, here is a clip of the big brawl between Jean Kayak and the beavers.


Or if you wanna watch the whole damn strange thing, click here while Hundreds Of Beavers is still on You Tube.


The movie is also on Amazon Prime.  

Does Hundreds Of Beavers count as a Christmas holiday movie? There is a graphic while Jean is hanging with the trapper that tells us it's December 31st and by this point, Jean has been out in the snowy wilderness a long time so I guess December 25th comes and goes while Jean is dealing with the beavers. 

There's even a few holiday themed tunes heard on the soundtrack so yeah, it can count as a holiday film.   

So if your friends are debating what to watch and one of them says "I wanna watch a movie with beavers!"

And you say, "You wanna watch a movie with a beaver?"

And they reply, "Fuck no! Beavers! Lots of beavers!" 

"Maybe a dozen beavers?" you suggest and your friend replies, "Fuck NO! I wanna see HUNDREDS of beavers!!!"

Then Hundreds Of Beavers just might be the movie for you.  

Friday, December 13, 2024

Your Friday Video Link: Nate Bargatze Vs. Starbucks (plus Dylan Hollis)



We did a post last Friday about coffee, about a man and a woman long separated but absence only made their desires stronger, desires for coffee and other... forbidden things. As the man said, "I want to wake up to the smell of you and Folgers Colombian dark roast coffee." 

Ah, how romantic! 

Except the man and woman in question were brother and sister.  

It was a parody of a Folger's coffee ad where a brother and sister are NOT acting like brother and sister so the parody took that to it's next logical extreme.

Or as the young woman pleads, "I just want to fuck my brother!"

I thought it was funny as hell.

My wife Andrea was less enthused and did not think it was funny at all. 

Well, she has a brother. Perhaps this stuck a nerve. Who am I to say? 

This week, Your Friday Video Link returns to the theme of coffee but with a less controversial post (no incest!) as Nate Bargatze navigates the arcane rituals of ordering coffee from Starbucks. 


A BONUS Your Friday Video Link: what goes good with coffee? 

Dessert!

Dylan Hollis pulls out a recipe for Snowball Cake!

Enjoy!



Next week, Your Friday Video Link gets into the Christmas spirit with 2 videos inspired by Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Kimberly Guilfoyle AlLEGgedly Heading For Greece

I would have a topic for blog posts twice a day if I kept track of every person that Donald Trump is nominating to various positions in government.

I would be easy to write. I suppose.  Just cut 'n' paste this:

Donald Trump has nominated ____________   to be _____________  despite having no _____________.

Then just insert the person's name, the position and the lack qualifications for that position.   

It would be easy but I got better things to do with my free time.

(Those naps are not going to take themselves.) 

But I would be remiss if I let this particular appointment go by. 

Donald Trump has nominated Kimberly Guilfoyle to be Ambassasor to Greece  despite having no experience in foreign policy or diplomacy.

The reason I need to acknowledge Ms. Guilfoyle's nomination is she is apparently very important to this blog. 

On any given week, a blog post I wrote back in 2018 is in the to ten most viewed blog posts.  In fact it is frequently the #1 most frequently accessed blog post. As it is right now.

Most recent blog stats show Kimberly Guilfoyle: Fall of a LEGend has viewed nearly 65% more times than the 2nd blog post on the top ten list.   

And this is not a new phenomenon.  For six years, that post has been in the top ten most viewed posts and is frequently the #1. My Kimberly Guilfoyle post is my post popular work. 

So in giving people what they want, well, here we go.  


Since her exit from Fox News, Kimberly Guilfoyle has been doing LEG work as a Trump campaign surrogate and has also been the paramour of Donald Trump Jr with the two alLEGedly engaged since 2020.  

When I heard Donald Trump was nominating Kimberly Guilfoyle to be ambassador to Greece, I joked to Andrea that there may be trouble in paradise, that maybe Junior pleased with dad to help send Kim far away.

Well, that joke was just a spurious alLEGation but there may be some truth to it. 

Don Jr. and Kimberly have not been seen together in public for awhile.


It seems that Donald Trump Jr. might be dating Florida socialite Bettina Anderson,including reports of them holding hands in public.   

So all this is no longer good enough for Junior?  


Don Jr did issue a statement of support for his erstwhile fiance's nomination.

“I am so proud of Kimberly. She loves America and she always has wanted to serve the country as an Ambassador. She will be an amazing leader for America First."  

And it gets her out of the country and far away from you, eh, Junior? 


And I'm not the only one to have this thought.

Social media is full of posts making the same connection.

So what does do for the LEGend of Kimberly Guilfoyle?

Will she need to say farewell to becoming a member to the Trump family has a part of her LEGacy? 




Who knows! It's all Greek to me!

And I hope whoever keeps pushing the Guilfoyle posts to #1 on my blog are satisfied, you perverts! 



 

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