Après La Coloscopie 2: Electric Boogaloo

Back in January, I wrote a blog post called  Après La Coloscopie which is "after the colonoscopy" in French.

I experienced my first colonoscopy earlier this year and you got to read about it,you lucky blog reader you.  

This post of Après La Coloscopie 2: Electric Boogaloo is about my wife's colonoscopy from last week, you lucky for a second time blog reader you.

This is not the first time my wife's anal probing has been the subject of a post on this blog. I wrote about her previous one in June 2021 here.   

I wish Andrea and I had more active social lives so I didn't have to resort to our respective colonoscopies for blog material.

"Andrea and I spent an enchaning evening with our fabulous friends Charlton and Pippa at a quaint little French bistro where we dined on devine escargot and a percocious vintage of Champagne. Afterwards we attended an exquisite performance of La Boheme where Pippa playfully stuck her tongue in my ear, the cheeky little tart!"

No, we're gonna talk about anal probing.  

I had expected that having experienced my own colonoscopy that I might be helpful and empathetic to Andrea in the run to her own.  But our experiences diverged.  

In the days leading up to my own exam, I was told to avoid foods that came in little fiddly bits:  corn, peas, beans, peanuts, popcorn, that sort of thing.   

Andrea had a far more restrictive diet.

I was told to not eat anything 24 hours before my procedure. Since my procedure was at 10 AM on a Friday, my 24 hours of NOT eating began at 10 AM on Thursday so I allowed myself one last breakfast at 9 AM on Thursday.

Andrea's time frame for NOT eating was the day before.  Her procedure was on Thursday at 11:45 AM .  She started NOT eating the whole day of Wednesday.  So she went longer without food.

I am not going to compare notes on the "prep", drinking the vile liquid that promotes excessive pooping to completely clean out the colon. It's disgusting process that I do not want to relive for myself and I sure as hell have no desire to know what was going on with Andrea during this part of the process.

That didn't stop her from reporting to me on her progress.

Andrea was exhausted going through this.

I was exhausted hearing about it. 

The day of the procedure was uneventful.  

I spent the time waiting in the lobby re-reading my own blog.  God, so many typos.

Afterwards we had a brief meeting with the doctor who said a couple of small polyps were found and would need to be sent off for testing to be sure it was nothing serious. But the doctor seemed to think given their small size, there would be nothing to worry about.  (Andrea will worry anyway.) 

SIDE NOTE: Andrea got the call a couple of days ago that the polyps were benign.  So now she will need something else to worry about.   

A nice discharge nurse named Jack helped me guide Andrea back to our car and it was back home to the Fortress of Ineptitude to crash for the afternoon.

Oh look! It's a message from Pippa! So sorry, luv, it is après la coloscopie and we need to rest, you naughty little minx!