Is It... Food?

 I once heard it said that dogs will decide if they should put something in their mouth by putting it in their mouth. 

Our dog Rosie makes such decisions by this process.

"What is this thing?"

"Is it... food?"

"Should I put this thing in my mouth?"

"It might be food." 

"Well, let's put this thing in my mouth and find out if I should put this thing in my mouth." 

And thus our dog Rosie begins the scientific process of answering the question...

Is it... food? 

Sometimes I am the subject of Rosie's scientific inquiries.

On occasion, the four members of our family are lined up on our sofa in the living room of the Fortress of Ineptitude: my wife Andrea, my daughter Randie, Rosie and myself. We're watching television or something when Rosie looks at my left arm and wonders...

"Is it... food?" 

Rosie sniffs of my arm.

She follows that up with a lick of her very long rubbery tongue.

Rosie is not quite sure.

"Is it... food?"

"Should I put this arm in my mouth?"

Well, the only way to answer if she should put my arm in her mouth is... to put my arm in her mouth. 

I then feel sharp pointy teeth grasp my arm, not my biting me enough to break the skin but enough for Rosie to receive additional input.

"Is it... food?"

"Should I have this arm in my mouth?"

I look into her dark, sparkling eyes. 

"Food doesn't normally look me in the eyes like that."

I say firmly, "Rosie, no!" 

The dog is puzzled. "Food doesn't usually talk to me." 

Still, Rosie's questions remain. 

"Is it... food?"

"Should I have this arm in my mouth?"

Randie extricates Rosie's jaws from around my arm. Rosie lies contentedly between us, watching Alex Trebek. 

Then, she glances to the side.

She sees my left arm. And she wonders, 

"Is it... food?"

"Should I put this arm in my mouth?"