Wreck It Randie!

Over the last few weeks, there has been one less car in front of the Fortress of Ineptitude. This is because my daughter turned into Wreck It Randie and wrecked one of them,

Now, am I bitter about that? Why should I be? I'm glad Randie wasn't hurt and the damage didn't look all that bad. The front fiberglass shell that makes a car look like a car had been torn loose but nothing even I couldn't fix with some copious amounts of duct tape and gumption.

But no, I'll let professional body repair people take care of it, even if it cost a few hundred dollars.

OK, not hundreds. Try thousands?!?

OK, am I bitter about that? Oh hell yeah I am!

Good working breaking it, Wreck It Randie! 

To be fair, Randie is usually a good driver, obeys traffic laws and is aware of other vehicles on the road.  And it is a given that even the best driver in the world is going to have something go wrong. 

And the accident could've been worse, much worse. 

But still, thousands of dollars to fix a 2010 Toyota Carolla? Are you fricking kidding me? 

Am I bitter about that?

Why should I be? Go ahead and clear out my savings account. It's not like I'm going retire anytime soon.

Here's how I expect my retirement plan to work: just before I retire, I'll buy a boat, name it "The Never Gonna Die". And then on my last day of work, I'm all, "So long suckers! It's the retired life for me on my bo---ARGH!"  

Then I die of a massive heart attack.

This is my retirement plan. So clear out my savings account and see if I care.  I just won't have a boat when I die on my last day of work.   

And if I did have a boat, what would happen to it when I died? Andrea sure as hell isn't going to do anything with a boat. I'll have to leave it to Wreck It Randie who will just wreck it!

"When the water runs out, I should stop driving the boat forward? OK, I get it now."

In all seriousness, I am glad Randie is OK and that the accident was not worse.  

But thousands of dollars to fix the car? Yes, I am bitter about that.

That money was going towards the purchase of "The Never Gonna Die".